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10 people share the 'perfect' thing to say when you see your spouse naked and it's adorable

"Hey you’re wearing my favorite outfit again.”

Darren Welsh/Unsplash

I think most people in longterm relationships eventually reach a point where seeing your partner step out of the shower doesn't really register for you. There becomes a "normal every day" nudity — changing clothes, bathing, etc. — that is not inherently sexual and therefore no longer warrants celebration.

Unfortunately, that sucks! No one wants to be ogled 24/7 when they're just trying to exist, but at the same time, no one wants to feel like they're invisible to their partner. It's a fine line, and it's easy to see why longterm spouses can lose sight of each other over time and stop appreciating the attraction that initially drew them together.

One guy took to Reddit with this exact conundrum: "My wife is upset that I don't say anything to compliment her when i see her naked, and thinks im not attracted to her even though i am," the user wrote.

He then asked for suggestions on what a husband might say in a situation like this, and the guys and gals of AskMen had thoughts. Here are some of the best responses:

two grey fruits Photo by Nik on Unsplash

The suggestions ranged from the funny or corny...

My husband says “Hey you’re wearing my favorite outfit again” and 12 years later I still blush lol - Impressive_Bat3090

(Side note: I'm stealing this one.)

"You know at the beginning of 'Saving Private Ryan' where Tom Hanks gets an explosive right next to him and he is just trying to focus and there is that high pitched hum and slowly he realises that someone is trying to communicate with him and the humming slowly goes away and he kinda snaps out of it? - Yeah, that's what happens when you walk out naked" -
Tacozy

maybe a 'Dayummmmm' , another user added.

... to the simple yet effective.

I always stop and stare. No matter what I was doing, or about to do. If she takes off her clothes. I stop and stare with a big ass dumb grin on my face. She loves it. ... Also, I can hear when she is finished with the shower. I always manage to just walk in at the right time. ... I will say “WELL HELLO!” - Tollin74

I always say "my god... i'm so lucky!" - Lehvinn

Stare for a bit with a big ol smile. When she asks what you're doing say something along the lines of, "just enjoying the view" Before you walk away - Rexis717

I can also just stop whatever I'm doing drop my jaw and go "wow", "well hello sexy" or whatever else comes to my mind (which usually isn't much at these moments, but that doesn't seem to hurt). I will find my own way of telling her I can't focus when she's naked. Felt like a cave man who can't control his urges doing some of these things in the beginning, but once I noticed that she really enjoys it and that it makes her feel beautiful.. I'm all on board. She deserves feeling every bit like the queen she is in my eyes and more. - onehandedbraunlocker

And some people's stories of how much a little appreciation means to them absolutely blew me away.

My man out of nowhere, whether I’m naked or not, will grab me at random moments and kiss me properly and then hold my face, look in to my eyes and say something like ‘my god you’re a beautiful woman. … we are mid 50s and together many years. What do you love about her physically ? Tell her that. It doesn’t have to be overtly sexual, she’s seeking reassurance and validation. - whatpelican00

My guy just consistently gets happy when I'm naked. He voices his appreciation, sometimes with a dirty word, sometimes with a sweet one, and sometimes he comes closer to touch me. It really makes me feel good about myself. ... It's all about being joyful and sharing the love. - TourquoiseTortoise

And just in case you thought you'd get through this thread without at least one tear-jerker...

My husband intrudes on almost every shower or when I'm changing for a change to peek at skin. If he sees me naked or dressing, he's instantly trying every possible move and pick up line known to man. I feel like if he sees shoulder skin or even an ankle he'll come at me. Sometimes it gets frustrating; but let me tell you. I know he wants me or at least is really good at pretending. We've been together 19 years and this man is still chasing. I have fluctuated massively in my weight having birthed 4 sons and 6 miscarriages. Anywhere from 245 my heaviest to 129 my lightest. Didn't matter, one bit... I could be 600 pounds. This man makes sure to always tell me I'm beautiful and makes me feel so loved and wanted. - queensfanobs81

Experts say it's common for couples to begin taking each other for granted after a while, but it can be combatted with small gestures and a little effort.

round yellow fruit Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

"When have seen your partner naked or in nice underwear for thousands of times, you tend to not pay as much attention to it as you might should be, and the life puzzle makes it extra difficult to stop up and think 'Hey, I love the looks of my partner and they’re so darn attractive'" says Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist and writer with Passionerad.

It's also true that as our relationships grow and deepen far beyond physical attraction, which is a good thing, losing sight of our partner's beauty can be an unfortunate side effect. All of us want a look, a touch, a physical compliment every now and then just to be reminded that our partner hasn't forgotten — especially if you're just standing right there in plain sight!

Genuine, specific, and playful comments work best in these scenarios. Something like "You look beautiful," while well-meaning, is a bit of a platitude and can come across empty, even if you mean it. Try to get creative!

Sean O'Neill, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist recommends, "Instead of saying 'You look beautiful' you could say 'That dress doesn’t stand a chance against you' or 'I’m so glad only I get to see this,' playfully. The aim is to make your spouse feel uniquely valued."

And if your brain locks up and you feel awkward and can't think of anything, a playful "Nice butt," never hurt anyone.


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Joy

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick air grievances about one another in the cutest way possible

It's like watching a marriage therapy session, but with music and laughter.

Image credit: Kevin Bacon/Instagram

Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon have been married for 36 years.

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick have been #marriagegoals for a long time—36 years and still going strong, in fact. The actors met on set of the film "Lemon Sky" in 1987, got married 18 months later, and have been happily hitched ever since. Though they've both managed to work on films and television series throughout their marriage, they put a lot of focus on raising their two kids (now both in their 30s), splitting their time between Hollywood, New York and their farm in rural Connecticut.

Bacon and Sedgwick like to share videos from the farm, often featuring one or both of them singing together with their farm animals, which is every bit as endearing as it sounds. Any couple thriving after nearly four decades of marriage is a joy to see, but for a famous couple it's particularly heartwarming. Fame and marriage don't always make the best bedfellows, but these two have made it work.

Even when they're complaining about one another, their genuine affection shines through. Bacon and Sedgwick made a video playing with the "We listen and we don't judge" social media trend, where couple share relationship confessions with one another. Unlike other couples who shared things that made people question the health of their relationship, these two demonstrate how humor, honesty and respect work together in a happy marriage.

People are loving the playful dynamic between them and the obvious love they have for one another.

"I like these two so much. They love each other dearly and they can make fun out of each other without being offended and get mad. Great humor, essential for a relationship."

"That's why you two beautiful people have been married for 37+ year's. Real love; openness, respect, loyalty, toleration, learning, growth, evolving together. A billion positive reasons.. even when "trying" not to judg, with a healthy dose of communication and getting it all out"

"Such a nice way to counsel each other and those watching, putting it into song and talking things out. Being married after all these long years, doing stuff like this together is the icing on the marriage that keeps it together. How wonderful is that. This put a smile on my face."

"How beautiful it would be if we could really really practice this in our lives and laugh about the small things and not let the “bigger” things be as big a deal as we make them out to be. 🙌☺️🙏 You two are beyond adorable and give us all relationship goals."

"I love you guys. The fact that you can do this with humor and do it publicly speaks loudly of your strength & tenacity as a couple. Be love,💕, be peace ☮️. Perhaps you should be marriage counselors??…"

People who have been married for a long time know that honesty and communication are important in a relationship, but so is not sweating the small stuff and forgiving one another's minor annoyances. Throw in the ability to laugh at ourselves and some sweet harmonies, and you have the magic combo we see working for Bacon and Sedgwick here. But you don't have to have a guitar-playing spouse to share fun moments together, communicate with love and kindness, and listen without judgment—truly.

You can watch Bacon and Sedgwick's other collaborations and see glimpses into their life on the farm on Kevin Bacon's Instagram page.

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Pop Culture

An OnlyFans star had sex with 101 men in a single day and shared how it affected her mental health

This is why more young people are saying "No Thanks" to casual hookups.

lillyphillipstokk/TikTok & Josh Pieters/YouTube

In the absence of proper sex education in many parts of the country, more and more people are turning to online pornography to learn how things work. In that case, people will be very interested to hear about the curious case of Lily Phillips. The 23-year-old OnlyFans star recently took on an ambitious, if a little gross, challenge: She was going to sleep with 100 men in just 24 hours.

Lily spent months "training" for the stunt, and on the big day, invited a documentary filmmaker along to record what was sure to be a wild journey. The guys were recruited through Lily's large fanbase and flew in to meet her from all over the world. During the stunt, they would take turns coming into the room where they would make small talk, hang their clothes up, and have about 2-3 minutes each with Lily.

One guy brought a single rose.

The most interesting part of filmmaker Josh Pieter's documentary, however, is the aftermath. Immediately afterwards, Lily told the film crew she was feeling physically fine. But anyone watching can clearly see that she is physically and, more importantly, emotionally exhausted.

"It's not for the weak girls, if I'm honest. It was hard, I don't know if I'd recommend it." She then gets emotional trying to describe the intensity of the experiment and has to walk off camera to collect herself.


Lily Phillips crying and collecting herself while being interviewed by documentary crewJosh Pieters/YouTube

Lily eventually opened up and said the thing that got to her was the awkwardness of some of the interactions, how uncomfortable it was at times and feeling pressure to show the guys "a good time," worrying that some of them didn't like her or were disappointed in the experience, or in her. Some of the men guilted her for not spending more time with them or not fulfilling certain expectations they had going in.

I know, I know. It's hard to feel too bad for her knowing she came up with this idea on her own to grow her business and willingly participated. But hearing her reflect on the aftermath is a surprisingly human and affecting moment. Most non-adult stars will, obviously, never attempt such a stunt. But the emotions Lily was feeling at the end of the day still seem awfully relatable to us regular human-beings.

Even the documentary director was surprised by Lily's reaction. "I certainly didn't expect to see Lily so upset at the end of it all," Josh Pieters said. "I thought perhaps in years to come she might look back on this day in sadness, but not so instantly afterwards."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Casual sex has its upsides for some people, but it's emotionally fraught for all parties and has been linked to negative mental health outcomes.

It might be a stretch to call an OnlyFans content stunt "casual sex," but there's a lot we can learn by the end of Lily and Josh's documentary. VerywellMind writes that casual hookups can damage your health in many different ways. There's a risk of disappointment, regret, damaged self-esteem, depression, embarrassment, and more.

Even a so-called professional can't escape some of these emotions! So us normies have to be really careful. It's not that hookups are inherently bad, but a lot of people jump into them without setting expectations, communicating well, and properly thinking through how they're going to feel at the end.

This is a big reason younger generations like Gen Z have been moving away from the casual dating and hooking up culture previous generations were big on.

Global Dating Insights writes that young people report "feeling burnt out, anxious, and disconnected after engaging in short-term flings or casual hookups" and are more likely to seek platonic or long-term romantic relationships — though there are other factors involved in this shift, as well.

A 28-year-old woman told the LA Times, "“[Not having sex] helps me relax,” she said. “It’s not that I don’t care about how I look or how I come off to other people. But I have a little extra help caring less about it, because I don’t have to worry about attracting specific kinds of people for specific things.”

A 21-year-old wrote in to Men's Health curious why everyone he met seemed to only want a romantic relationship or be "demisexual," which means they only feel attraction to someone after forming a strong emotional connection.

It's fascinating to see the pendulum start to swing in the opposite direction as become more aware of some of the mental-health downsides to a practice that has been commonplace for decades.

At the end of the day, feelings aside, the stunt was a huge success for Lily in terms of exposure and content. So much so that she quickly announced a new plan to break the world record for sexual partners in a 24 hour span by trying to reach 1,000 — the current record, for anyone wondering, is 919 set in 2004.

Good luck, we think?

sex
Culture

For 20 seconds, she lived a dancer's worst nightmare—which then became a dream come true

Utah Jazz dancer Danielle Bush got lost mid-performance and had to improvise until she realized what was really happening.

@WorldWideWob/Twitter

Utah Jazz dancer Danielle Bush got the surprise of her life when her fellow dancers started doing a totally different routine.

It's a dancer's worst nightmare. You're in the middle of a performance you've rehearsed over and over when all of a sudden you forget what you're doing. Everyone else is in sync, and you're hopelessly out of step, trying desperately to not make it obvious that you're completely lost.

That's sort of what happened to Utah Jazz dancer Danielle Bush earlier this week during a basketball half-time performance. Bush didn't forget the routine, though—it just suddenly changed on her in the middle of it. The song, the routine, all of it. To her credit, Bush rallied, smiled and did her best to improvise, but it was clear she was lost. For a torturous 20 seconds, she tried to keep up—and then she figured out what was really going on.

What started out as a nightmare turned into a heartwarming surprise that the rest of her fellow dancers were in on.

Watch:

How can a video be so painful to watch and yet end up with such a happy ending? The poor girl was so confused until she actually heard what the song had been changed to—Bruno Mars' "Marry You"—and realized it had to have been changed for her.

According to KSL News, the proposal had been planned in secret since earlier in the month. Bush's boyfriend (now fiance) Brandon had asked Jazz Dancers director Ashley Kelson if it were possible to pop the question on the court.

"I wanted to make it big and special for her for sure," Kelson told the outlet. "Making it a part of the routine was so much fun."

Kelson scheduled Bush to be at a community event during a rehearsal where the other dancers learned the alternate routine. The team only had one practice to rehearse the proposal, and they pulled it off beautifully.

"It was an honor to plan with Brandon and be a part of their special moment and just proud of my team for keeping it a surprise," Kelson said. "It definitely was a team effort."

And it was definitely a proposal to remember. Congratulations, Danielle and Brandon!


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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