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39 sayings people swear by to help them live a better life

"If you don't make time for your wellness, you'll be forced to make time for your illness."

Living your best life is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Life is full of lessons learned, some of which come through our elders and some that we learn the hard way through our own experiences. The learning never stops, of course, and whether or not we hold onto what we learn depends a lot on how we commit it to our memory.

Sayings, adages, quotes, aphorisms—all of these things help us keep what we've learned at the ready, like a toolbox of advice we can pull from as the need arises. Whether they're words of wisdom from famous thinkers or quippy phrases from a beloved grandparent, when we repeat them like a mantra, they can remind us of how to live our best lives on a daily basis.

We asked our Upworthy audience "What's the best advice you've received to live a better life?" and over 1,000 responses later, we have a roundup of sage advice that we can all learn from.

Here were some of the most popular answers:

Communication

"Ask these three questions before you speak:Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?"

"Stop talking and listen, and don’t just pause waiting to speak your turn, actually listen. Two ears, one mouth for a reason."

"No is a full sentence!"

"Be careful what you say as it can never be undone."


 money, finance, financial advice, budget, budgeting Money is something a lot of us struggle with.Photo credit: Canva

Money

"'Save your money' from my grandpa! Glad everyday that I learned to be frugal. I still spend money on things I want, but I don't care about having something just because others want it. (New cars, fancy clothes, expensive jewelry, etc!)"

"Buy lands, build houses, not cars."

"This has to do with spending money, My husband was a public accountant, he always told me, if I really, really need it, buy it, if I just want it, think about it. After giving it some thought you don’t want half of what you buy or need it. A very wise man, my husband."

"'Never pay retail and always have good insurance.' My mom"

Work-life Balance

"Don't kill yourself at work, they'll just replace you tomorrow. Advice from a hundred year old patient."

"Don’t burn the candle at both ends."

"Nobody on their deathbed will ever say, 'I wish I would have spent more time at work.'"

"Leave the job at the jobsite when you come home. It will still be there tomorrow."

 health, wellness, fitness, being healthy, health advice Health is wealth, as they say.Photo credit: Canva

 


Health & Wellness

"If you don't make time for your wellness, you'll be forced to make time for your illness."

"Put down the anger. Carrying it with you doesn’t change anything except your stress levels and general mental load. Anger is fine if that’s what the emotion is in a moment, but take the time to acknowledge the feeling, let it all out and then let it go."

"Take good care of yourself while you are young. You may live long enough to wish you had. I took that advice seriously. Im 77 and still going strong."

"Get sober and stay sober."

Perspective

"Anytime something seems like the end of the world ask yourself 'will this even matter a year from now?'"

"The past is history the future is a mystery and now is a gift. That’s why they call it the present."

"Don’t sweat the small stuff- P.S. everything is the small stuff."

"People on their deathbeds, 'I wish I would have taken more chances and done the risky stuff, life is short, don't play it safe, have fun. Come sliding into home plate like, 'Wow, whatta ride!'"


 love, relationships, dating advice, dating, love stories Relationships can be complicated.Photo credit: Canva

Dating and Relationships

"Leave the first time a guy says they don’t want you—believe them."

"If you’re instantly attracted to a guy - RUN in the opposite direction‼️🤣"

"As a young adult and dating, my Mom told me to not tell everything about me, leave some mystery."

"Also, when your spouse does something that upsets you, ask yourself, 'Am I going to divorce him over this?' It helps put things into perspective, enables you to let little things go, and not make mountains out of molehills."

Self-Help

"If you want people to stop walking all over you… you first have to learn to get up off the floor…."

"Don’t rent them space in your head."

"Don’t open a can of worms unless you are prepared to eat them!"

"Nobody cares as much about you as you do. Nobody remembers your awkwardness, your spelling mistakes, your bad hair day, or that piece of spinach in your teeth to the level you think they do."

 golden rule, treat others as you want to be treated, kindness, treat people with kindness, kindness Basic human kindness goes a long way in life.Photo credit: Canva

The Golden Rule

"Treat Others the way you want to be treated!!!"

"My Mum used to say 'Never judge anybody; you don't know what they are living through.'"

"My mother always told me …… do one nice thing for someone every day!! ……. I can honestly say I do! Makes it easier that I volunteer in a nursing home !!!"

"The platinum rule - treat others how THEY would like to be treated rather than how you would like to be treated."

Classics

"Never take criticism from someone you wouldn't ask for advice."

"Everything in moderation, including moderation."

"If you think you can, you’re right. If you think you can’t, you’re right."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all."

"Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to."

"The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block is how high you lift your foot."

"If you want to keep getting what you’re getting, keep doing what you’re doing."

Finds more words of wisdom on Upworthy's Facebook page.

Quitting smoking is notoriously difficult, but people have round creative ways.

For much of the 20th century, smoking was commonplace in the United States. Cigarettes were cheap. Ashtrays were everywhere. A long, slow drag from a cigarette was a dramatic standard for characters on movies and TV shows. For decades, smoking wasn't even considered unhealthy—in fact, doctors were even used to advertise cigarettes in the 1940s and 50s.

The ubiquity of smoking began to change with research on the health impacts of cigarettes starting in the 1960s, and public attitudes towards it took another dramatic turn when research showed the dangers of secondhand smoke in the 1980s. Smoking went from accepted and expected to taboo in a relatively short period of time, but as people decided to try to quit, it became clear how addictive cigarettes really are.

Beating a nicotine addiction and smoking habit is notoriously difficult, but millions of people have proven that it's possible. Someone asked ex-smokers to share what finally got them to quit cigarettes for good, and the answers contain an important lesson for anyone who is trying to make or break hard habits in their lives—just because one thing doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean something else won't.

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As the huge range in these responses show, there is no one right answer for everyone, but there is a right answer for you. It might take trying different things for a while, but don't give up. You never know what that one trigger is going to be that will change everything, so keep trying.

Here are some of the things that got ex-smokers to quit for good:

Not wanting to lose a bet

"I'm probably like a lot of former smokers that tried to quit a number of times before being successful. Then a friend and I were out fishing and he began talking about quitting smoking. He wanted to bet $50 that he could outlast me. Beer drinking and trash talking commenced and the bet got up to $500. So I am way too cheap to lose a bet like that and so I went weeks without the butts. My friend came around, admitted that he was back on the smokes and paid up the $500. I was tempted to go back but was feeling so much better without the cigs, kept it going."

"My mom quit smoking cigarettes in college the same way. She couldn't turn down a $50 wager (this was back in the 70's where that wasn't exactly chump change) and toughed through whatever withdrawals were like for her, and she never picked up the habit again."

"I quit the same way. Bet between me and my sister in 2012 but it was $20. Both of us haven’t touched a cig and the bet still stands."

Jennifer Garner Fun GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

The desire to avoid certain people

"Dumbest and least relatable reason incoming:

My housemate wanted me to smuggle cigarettes, but I didn't want to, so I said I'd veeeery recently quit and didn't want to be tempted to smoke by having thousands of them around. So I had to keep up the lie at that point."

"My neighbour followed me outside for every smoke and was so annoying that I just lost all desire. It was easier to just quit than it was to avoid her. It’s been 3 or 4 years now."

Health scares

"Doctor said I might have lung cancer. Quit January 18 2011."

"My dad quit smoking after 40 years due to a stroke. He died of lung cancer 18 years later at 83."

"My mum passed away from lung cancer 3 years ago yesterday :(

I quit that very day and immediately switched to vaping (I already had many failed attempts at switching). I then gave up vaping a year later (I had gradually reduced to 0% nicotine). I used Duolingo learning Spanish to replace vape breaks etc. Hope this helps someone."

"Same for me about few years before that. Not cancer. Shadow, likely from childhood fungal infection. Still. Was the push needed to finally quit for good."

"Same same. Smoked almost 30 years. Had quit a few times for a few weeks to a few months. But it felt like suffering. Started vaping but was still smoking. The day my doctor told me I had cancer I went for a walk. Lit a smoke which I usually do when I’m out for a stroll. But it felt stupid smoking when a doctor just told you got cancer. It wasn’t lung but still. Been about 4 years now."

Health Love GIF by ikosewingGiphy

Tricking yourself into not feeling deprived

"I have a pack in a drawer 'just in case.' I’ll never touch it, but having it there makes me feel like it’s a safety net.

"I bought a pack of cigarettes (my last one) and put it on that bowl next to the door where you put your keys. When I was a smoker I always felt more in need of a smoke if I didn't have a pack, I sometimes went to buy cigarettes in the middle of the night just to not feel that.

I decided to stop one minute at a time. Each time I wanted to smoke I would tell myself in 10 minutes if I still want to smoke I will and then just move on to something else (do not sit in front of a timer waiting) usually a couple of minutes later the need is not as urgent anymore.

You don't have to think about an eternity smoke free, you just need to make it one minute at a time. Eventually, it had been 3 weeks, and I wasn't about to ruin my efforts, then 3 months, then a year, and now it had been 7 years.

I have one of those apps that tell you how much your health improved as you stay smoke-free.

Another thing is that I kept on hanging out with smokers, I wanted to stay exposed to my environment.

So far, so good. I still get cravings, but I don't act on them. But once a smoker always a smoker, I could relapse if I start smoking again."

Gradual weaning

"I read an article in the paper showing stats that indicated that the cancer risk increased radically at 10 cigarettes a day. So I chose the 10 cigarettes that I craved the most + stuck with that. Occasionally, I would be in a bar or at a party and smoke more than my 10. But whenever that happened I would go back to 10 cigarettes the very next day. About a year later I dropped to nine cigarettes, and stuck with that for quite a while, eventually to 8. After a long period of time, I was down to 1-2 cigarettes a day. One very busy day, I forgot to smoke. The next day I struggled, wondering if I was really ready to quit. I still have dreams about that day, about whether or not I should have a cigarette. I quit, and I haven't smoked in 22 years."

"I did something similar. But one day at a time. I was inspired by John Waters, who looked cool when he smoked, but managed to quit. He counted days. Also: My cravings were worst in the evening, so I told myself if I could get through the night I could have one in the morning. I hardly ever wanted to smoke in the morning. Also, I didn’t beat myself up if I caved in after, say, a week. If I smoke one that’s still seven days without a cigarette. And if I stop again that would only be one cigarette in eight days, nine days, etc.

Smoking one after a while is not 'failing' but little breaks between big successes. I’m smoke free for ten years now. With no breaks at all."

Making it really gross

"Drove 10 hours with my father in law in the car. He smoked a pipe and inhaled it. At one point, he coughed so hard he puked out the window. Quit the next day."

"I am 4 years smoke free. I have a serious mouse phobia. So, when i decided I no longer wanted to smoke I would force myself to look at picture/videos of rodents. My brain quickly started associating smoking with mice."

Judge Thats Disgusting GIF by Hot BenchGiphy

"I found bird feathers in a few of my swisher sweet cigars over the course of a few weeks. I haven't smoked since because smoking makes me think of the taste of smoking feathers. Fortunately, I guess."

"I convinced myself that it was gross. Do you have an old soda can of butts on your porch? Think about drinking it. Have you ever smelled someone who just smokes and drinks black coffee? They smell like literal poop. Think about that. It's makes you smell poopy. Gross yourself out."

For love

"Went out one Thursday evening with some friends and friends of friends, back when you could smoke in the pub.

Got chatting to a girl, hit it off and at the end of the night, said our goodbyes and parted with a vague plan to meet up again, maybe next week.

Friday lunchtime, lasagne and a pint with some of the group from the night before (when having a couple of pints at lunchtime was acceptable), I lit up a cigarette after eating and the friend, who had introduced me to the girl the previous night, mentioned 'oh, you know that girl you were talking to last night? She's not a big fan of smoking.'

I thought for a brief moment, stubbed out my Camel, crumpled up the packet that was left, threw my lighter and have not been tempted to light up since. That was 1990 and this May, we will have been married for 32 years."

"Almost the same for me. Met a girl, girl didn't like smokers, I quit smoking. 10 years ago.

Edit: not just did I fall in love with my now wife. She also had a 4 year old girl. To be a dad, changes had to be made. No regrets."

"My girlfriend at the time would not marry or live with a smoker. I quit 21 years ago, and we are about to have our 21 year anniversary. So I guess I did it for love. 😀"

One Day At A Time Smoking GIF by All BetterGiphy

The right book

"I read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. I promise I’m not being paid for this.

The comedian Paul F Tompkins smoked for years but quit after reading this book, and would recommend it to anybody who wanted to try. I’m a big fan of his, so I decided it couldn’t hurt. As soon as I started the book, I realized what it was doing. I figured I was way too smart for it and that it would never work, even though I understood the points it was making and the psychology it was using. I continued to smoke as I was reading it, as the book instructs you to do, and was absolutely sure the cute little tricks it was using would never work and that I had just wasted ten bucks.

I finished the book, threw away the unsmoked half of the pack I was on, and haven’t had so much as a craving since. I don’t even vape, I’ve had absolutely no cravings and no nicotine in any way for almost ten years now. I can not explain it but it worked immediately, in a way that nothing had worked up to that point, and wholeheartedly recommend it to anybody who is serious about quitting."

"I read it as well. Been over 15 years and never even think about it."

"Another voice voting for this! I smoked 20 a day and stopped the moment I finished this book. Still remember looking at my last cigarette as I smoked it (It was a Sterling red) and being so excited that after that cig I knew I was a non smoker. Been about 13 years now I think, never been tempted to go back."

"Worked for me too. I had given up a few times before and I always felt like I was depriving myself, even after a year. After reading that (a page or two a day) it's like I just don't see them any more, like I've erased them from my memory. Quit more than 15 years ago."

Hypnosis

"I was pack a day for years and hypnosis worked for me. I would tell anyone to try it! 16 years smoke free now."

"My granddad did it as well with Hypnosis. From a severe chain smoker to never again."

"I tried hypnosis twice. The first time I was not completely committed and expected the hypnosis to do the trick for me.

The second time I was ready to quit and viewed the hypnosis as something to help ME quit.

You have to be ready, committed to quit, and willing to do it yourself NOT expecting the hypnosis to do it for you.

I quit but my wife didn’t quit until 5 years later after me. She is now fighting emphysema."

People shared all kinds of other reasons for finally quitting as well, from their kids asking them to quit to not wanting their clothes to smell to realizing how much other people disliked it. Whether you're trying to quit smoking or trying to change some other habit, you just never know what's going to work, so keep experimenting until you find the thing that pushes you over the line to success.

Family

Ivy League expert shares why parents should stop saying 'good job' and do this instead

To build confidence, parents have to take things step further.

A child taking piano lessons and Dr. Becky Kennedy

When you’re a parent, few things feel better than telling your kids, “Good job!” or “Well done” when they complete an art project, get a good grade, or make their bed correctly. So, what could be wrong with a little positive enforcement? According to Dr. Becky Kennedy, “Good job” is a conversation-ender that can prevent kids from getting the full, confidence-building benefits of their accomplishments.

Dr. Becky is a child psychologist, the bestselling author of “Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Resilient Parenting Prioritizing Connection Over Correction,” and the mother of 3 kids. She addressed how to correctly praise kids for their accomplishments on the December 27, 2024 episode of “The Tim Ferriss Show.” “Say ‘Good job,’ It’s not going to do damage to your kid. I think there’s a lot we can unpack there. There’s deeper principles. What do kids really need when they have accomplishments?” she asked, adding that “Good job” is a “conversation-ender.”

How to raise confident kids

Dr. Becky adds that when parents say “Good job” and leave it at that, we are teaching them to “gaze out” for acceptance from others instead of “gazing in” on the process they used to accomplish their task. By conditioning kids to look to others for acceptance, whether it’s their parents, teachers, or future boss or spouse, we create a world where they’re looking for external validation. This leads to anxiety and “makes you very empty and very fragile, very, very anxious,” Dr. Becky said.



Instead, Dr. Becky suggests that parents lean in and ask their child about the process it took to create that piece of art or clean their room. This helps the child develop greater self-confidence and focus more on their process the next time they put their mind to accomplishing something. She says a great place to start is to ask process questions such as: “Oh, how did you come up with that topic? Oh, what made you start it that way? Oh, what was it like writing that?”

The child psychologist says that initially, it may feel uncomfortable to ask probing questions. “Once you get started, it’s easier,” Dr. Becky said. “And yes, it actually focuses on what’s more in a kid’s control. And then, setting up your kids to feel good about themselves, even if they’re not always getting 100, is just such a massive privilege. And it actually makes them work harder because they’re focused on their effort and process instead of just on a result.”

A great way to think about how we praise children is how we would like to be treated by adults. If you worked in sales and had a great month, would you want your boss to simply say, “Good job” or would you like them to dig deeper into how you honed your sales process so that you could improve? It’s a great confidence booster when we can tell people how we’ve gone above and beyond or found new solutions to old problems.



Dr. Becky also uses the example of visiting someone’s house who recently redecorated. “I go, ‘Oh, I love your house. Good job.’ It’s actually a conversation-ender,” Dr. Becky said. “But if instead I said, ‘How did you pick that color wall with that couch?’ You would, ‘Oh, okay, well let me tell you, and let me show you my Pinterest board,’ or whatever it was. And even if I never said a good job, I bet you would feel more lit up inside and almost better than if I had just ended the conversation that way.”

Ultimately, instilling confidence in children is about more than acknowledging the results of their actions. It’s about asking them to explain their process, curiosity, and effort. We can instill resilience and confidence by asking questions and allowing them to express their deeper connection to their work. There’s nothing wrong with praising a good job, but the real confidence building comes with a meaningful conversation about how they made it happen.

Photo from Heidi Johnson Facebook page.

Tough love.

Heidi Johnson's son was 13, deeply in adolescence, and in that stage where he lashes out. He told her he shouldn't have to deal with her rules and should be independent. So she wrote a strict but loving "Mom's not a fool" letter. She wrote on Facebook how her son reacted to the letter:

"He came home, saw the note, crumpled it on the floor, and stormed out of the apartment. I have always encouraged him to take a walk when he is upset so that he can collect his thoughts so when we try to talk, we are able to talk, and not just yell at each other. I do the same thing — sometimes, I just need to walk away and collect myself. I am not above admitting that. He was still livid when he got home. He decided to stage a 'sit in' in my room, where he did laugh at me and repeat, 'Really? What are you going to do?

roommates, motherhood, life lessons

Love, Mom.

Photo from Heidi Johnson Facebook page.

You can't take my stuff,' etc. He was asked to leave my room, and when he could be respectful, and I was more calm, we would discuss it further. He went to his room, and after about an hour, he had removed some electronics and items I missed that he felt he should have to earn back for his behavior. He apologized, and asked what could he do to make things better and start earning items back. He earned his comforter and some clothes right back. I did leave him some clothes to begin with, just not the ones he would want to wear every day. He also had some pillows and sheets, just not his favorite ones.”

She decided to post it on Facebook, the way one does to friends for a laugh and connection. She neglected to make it "private," and soon comments and shares proliferated, including admonishments from strangers who thought she was a bad parent.Now she had to deal with a bigger teenager: the internet and its commentariat. But Johnson remained level-headed and wrote another Facebook post, clarifying.

"It's out there; and I am not ashamed of what I wrote... I am not going to put my 13-year-old on the street if he can't pay his half of the rent. I am not wanting him to pay anything. I want him to take pride in his home, his space, and appreciate the gifts and blessings we have.” She explains that he is more grateful because of it, and also that he has slowly earned back things and dealt with sacrificing others. Then she lists her very organized and succinct rules of the house:

1 – Do your best in school! I don't expect a perfect 100%, but I do expect that you do your best and ask for help when you don't understand something.

2 – Homework and jobs need to be done before you can have screen time.

3 – Jobs are emptying the trash, unloading the dishwasher, throwing away trash you make in the kitchen, rinsing dirty dishes, making your bed daily, pick up bedroom nightly, and cleaning your bathroom once a week.

4 – You must complete two chores a day. Each day of the week with the exception of Sunday has a room that we work on cleaning. He has to pick two chores for that room. For example, if it is the living room he can choose two of the following options: dust, vacuum, polish furniture, clean windows, mop the floor.

5 – Be respectful and kind with your words — no back talking, no cussing at me.

6 – Keep good hygiene.

7 – Make eye contact when being spoken to, and be an active listener.

8 – Use proper manners.

"You know what.. this hasn't hurt our relationship. He and I still talk as openly as ever. He has apologized multiple times... And… he is trying harder." Her son is earning things back little by little, and appreciating it more than he did before.

"This came down to a 13-year-old telling his mother she had no right to enforce certain rules, and had no place to 'control' him. I made the point to show what life would look like if I was not his 'parent,' but rather a 'roommate.' It was a lesson about gratitude and respect from the very beginning. Sometimes, you have to lose it all to realize how well you really had it."


This article originally appeared four years ago.