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People admit the one thing that Boomers really got right and some folks are uncomfortable

"You have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable."

via Yerling Villalobos/Unsplash

A Baby Boomer has some thoughts on emotional resilience.

An overarching Baby Boomer stereotype is that they have a problem with the younger generations, especially Millennials because they were coddled growing up and lack the determination to do hard things.

Many believe that when helicopter parents shelter kids from discomfort, they never develop the emotional resilience that it takes to succeed on their own. Some may even attribute this to the increase in mental illness.

A writer on X, who goes by Katie, recently admitted that Boomers who believe facing discomfort has a significant benefit may be right. Her post has been seen over 4 million times.

“My boomer-est opinion is that you have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable and you have to do it often, while you’re young and your brain is still flexible." Yes, even if you are (functionally) mentally ill,” Katie wrote. “Buying groceries can be uncomfortable. going to school/work can be uncomfortable. Socializing can be uncomfortable. The more you do it, the less uncomfortable it will be. If you can do these things (I know that there is a % of the population that isn’t), you have to do them often.”

“I’ve never come back to a piece of life advice more than this one,” she continued before quoting Virgil Thompson. “Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.”

Many people agreed with Katie’s Boomer-adjacent thoughts on building emotional resilience.

Some folks are on the fence.

Others disagreed with Katie’s point, saying that the idea that we can all “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” is ableist and erases the struggles that people with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses have.

So, what does the research say?

Dr. Simon Sherry, a professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Dalhousie University, says that coddling has caused real problems for the younger generations. "There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep kids safe, but we must recognize there are unintended consequences in our current approach of excessive caution and vigilance. Instead, we must teach our youth to face anxiety, take risks, and overcome fears,” Dr. Sherry told CTV News. "We need to get control of this societal problem before it causes further damage for future generations.”

When it comes to confronting uncomfortable situations, Dr. Launa Marques, Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School and Former President of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, says avoiding discomfort can make anxiety even worse.

“Psychological avoidance isn’t about the actions we take or don’t take, but the intentions behind them,” she told The Washington Post. “If our actions aim to squash discomfort hastily, then we’re probably avoiding. For each of my clients, avoidance became a crutch, initially tempering their anxiety but progressively amplifying it. Psychological avoidance, rather than alleviating anxiety disorders, can exacerbate them.

Obviously, everyone’s situation is different and people who are experiencing mental health issues should consult their therapists to determine the best course of action to overcome their challenges.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Gen Zers asked Gen Xers to share the things they don't realize will affect their life

Here are 14 things that people in their 20s should seriously consider.

via Canva/Photos

A woman in her 40s and one in her 20s staying fit.

When you’re in your 20s, you feel indestructible. You’re hip, healthy, and look good and there’s no way you’ll fall for the pitfalls that plague people as they age, whether it’s poor health, bad financial decisions, or deteriorating personal relationships.

Well, once most people reach 40, the idea that they’re indestructible has fallen by the wayside. You realize that you’re not perfect and are subject to the whims of Father Time, just like everyone else. At this point in life, you look back and think of everything you could have done to set yourself up for your second act. You start to consider whether you put enough effort into saving money, building friendships and working out.

The chasm between how we see life in our 20s versus 40s is the crux of an interesting conversation on Reddt’s AskReddit subforum. A user asked people in their 40s (younger Gen Xers and older Millennials) to help Gen Z by sharing the things people in their 20s don’t realize will affect them later in life.



Gen Xers are good people to for advice these days because they have recently entered a unique “sandwich generation” phase, where many are both caretakers for their elderly parents and their younger children. This gives them a better understanding of how your choices when you're younger affect you in old age. They also understand their children's fast-paced, tech-enabled world, many of whom are in their teens.

Gen Zers, on the other hand, are ages 12 to 27 and in the prime of their youth. So they’re either focused on becoming self-reliant adults or enjoying life as teenagers.

Here are 14 of the best answers to the question posed to people in their 40s: What do people in their 20s not realize will affect them later in life?

1. Be concerned about your parents' health

"What's really going to affect you is your parents' health, presuming they're still alive and you have a good relationship with them. If your parents live into old age, they will need more and more help. They won't understand how things work. They'll be more susceptible to scams. If they're like mine, they'll be stubborn and won't acknowledge their weakening faculties. Try getting someone who's driven for 60 years to surrender their license because their eyes aren't so good. And when one dies, the other will likely have fallen into a very co-dependent lifestyle, and the structure is completely destroyed. You know it's going to happen, but you don't realize how it'll manifest itself until it plays out."

2. Keep moving

"Don't stop moving. I started working from home in my mid-30s. I went from walking back and forth in the office from the printer to my desk 100 times a day, to not moving. I have major issues now, 14 years later. Part of those are caused by not moving! Get up and take a walk, dance, ride a bike, swim.

"Keep moving people, if you don't, you eventually won't be able to move without great pain!"

3. Protect your hearing

"Wear ear protection at concerts, dammit!"

"Wear ear protection AT WORK. I’m left-handed and almost completely deaf in my left ear from working on diesel engines most of my life. I’m 37."



4. Wear sunscreen

"Wear some freaking sunscreen. Skin cancer sucks!"

"I’m 41 and just got a bunch of sun damage lasered off my face yesterday. I was a lifeguard from 2002-2006. And regularly went to tanning beds until 2010 like all good Oregon Trail millennial girls back in the day. For the love, wear your sunscreen and don’t do what I did!"

5. It CAN be you, pt. 1

"Everyone thinks it won't be them: You won't get in a car accident, you're a safe driver. You won't get diabetes, you've always been good about sweets. You'd never fall for propaganda, you're too smart for that. You'd never end up in a cult, only gullible people believe in stuff like that. You'll never end up on the streets or in prison, you would never commit a crime. You'll never get cancer, that's something that happens to old people, or smokers, or people exposed to radiation. You'd never fall for obvious advertising, you're too smart to be caught by tricks like word choice or urgency or edited photos. You'll never fall for a scammer, you know better than that.

Become comfortable with the fact that things WILL happen to you. That you'll get sick or injured or develop a chronic illness. You'll get taken in by what, in hindsight, will be an obvious scam. That you'll believe someone's lies or end up impoverished or desperate, or if YOU were in such-and-such situations, you very probably would make the same mistakes that anyone in that situation would. Being aware that you aren't likely to be the exception to the rule is a kindness to yourself and others."

6. It CAN be you p. 2

"On the flipside of this argument...it CAN be you, so write that novel, make that indie movie, play in that band...do whatever it is that you're passionate about. Don't let your soul-crushing job rob you of the joy of your passions."



7. Understand compounding interest

"The power of compounding interest. For the love of god, start socking some money into your retirement as early as possible. Look at the charts online of the difference between starting to save a little when you’re younger versus how much you have to put away when you’re older to actually retire one day."

A great way to learn how the money you save today can be extremely valuable when you reach retirement age is to play around with this compound interest calculator. It may not seem like much, but 6% annual interest, compounded over a few decades, can turn into a lot of money.

8. Physical jobs are hard on your body

"That physical job is not paying you for the damage it does to your body. I did flooring for 18 years before I got out of it. I was a subcontractor and made great money. Until I realized that it wasn't enough to fix my joints. I have shoulder problems from carrying rolls of carpet and pad up endless flights of stairs. I was lucky and somehow my knees are ok."

9. Stretch younglings, stretch

"I’m a 27F who has been working from home since 2020. I never exercised or stretched until about a month ago, when I fully committed to a home workout routine. When I first tried to reach for my feet, I could barely bend far enough for my fingertips to touch my knees—it was painful! Thanks to daily stretches, I can almost reach my toes without discomfort. Progress! I’m getting there."



10. Beward of cynicism

"Cynicism. You'll disguise it as 'realism.' But you gotta get past that sh*t to wisdom. And even then, if you're lucky, you get a tiny kernel of wisdom. But it's better than sauntering through life feeling hard done by. I've moved on from friends who thought this way, people who don't lift you up and are only too happy to help you down."

11. People rarely change

"Avoid sticking with a person you are never going to change. Worst mistake ever."

12. Get rid of the negative energy in your life

"That includes bad habits and bad people... even if they're family. I've seen some people keep losers (male & female) around for far too long, and they got bogged down with their problems. then, when they needed help, the losers pulled them down even more.
the people you choose to have in your life can greatly affect the course of your life... make sure they're adding and not subtracting."



13. The bricks can bring you down

"People in their 20s don’t realize that every year they live isn’t just another trip around the sun; it’s another brick added to the backpack you’re carrying through life. When you’re young, that bag’s practically empty—light as hell. You’ve got a few memories, a couple of heartbreaks, maybe a regret or two, but nothing that really weighs you down. You’re sprinting through life thinking it’ll always feel this fresh and easy.

But by the time you hit your 40s, that backpack’s packed to the brim. Every relationship you’ve had, every choice you made—or didn’t make—starts to add up. It’s not just the passage of time; it’s the weight of that time. You’ve got the good stuff—family, love, achievements—but you’ve also got the “what-ifs,” the missed opportunities, and the regrets. Those regrets? Man, they’re like invisible bricks—things you didn’t even know would haunt you later. Not calling someone when you should’ve, passing on that one big risk, staying in a bad situation too long... all that stacks up."

14. Put effort into relationships

"I remember my best friend's father saying that in your 20s a social life is easy and natural. Keep strong connections with people who matter in your life. Divorce, lost a job, bankruptcy and illness—one or another are very usual in your 40's—can suddenly show how alone someone really is and hit hard. One is the most dangerous number."

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Man lists 8 not fun, but very important things you need to start doing as an adult.

"Welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren't told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error."

@johnfluenzer/TikTok

8 things you should be doing as an adult. Spoiler alert—none of them are fun.

Who among us hasn’t come into full adulthood wishing they had known certain things that could have made life so so so much easier in the long run? Choices that, if made, ultimately would have been much better for our well-being…not to mention our wallets.

But then again that is all part of growing older and (hopefully) wiser. However there is something to be said about getting advice from those who’ve been there, rather than learning the hard way every single time.

Thankfully, a man who goes by @johnfluenzer on TikTok has a great list of things young people should start doing once they become adults. Are any of his suggestions fun, cool or trendy? Not at all. But they are most definitely accurate. Just ask any 30+-year-olds who wished they had done at least four of these things.

John started off by saying, “welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren't told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error."

Listed below are the eight vital things to maintaining a healthy adulthood, that most of us have no idea about until well into adulthood.

1. Getting an annual doctor visit.

annual checkup

young woman visiting her doctor

Canva

This is the bare minimum amount of visits one should be making, according to John. He recommended more if you “have more medical concerns.”

2. Dental visits. For a yearly cleaning at the very least.

dentist near me

Woman at the dentist

Canva

"Keep in mind that a $300 cavity can turn into a $1,500 root canal, which can then turn into a $2,000 crown on top of the $1,500 you just paid, so it's better to just pay the $300 or whatever it is for a cavity, and just get it sorted,” he explained.

As someone with this exact experience (ignored a cavity because she didn't want to pay $300, only to pay $1500 years later, even with insurance) I can ruefully confirm.

…as can others, judging by the comments sections to John’s video.

“I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years and now I need a root canal. Learn from my mistakes people,” one person wrote.

Seriously, no amount of flossing and avoiding sugar can make up for a professional cleaning and checkup, folks.

Last note on this subject—John mentioned that if you couldn’t afford to go to a dentist, to check for nearby dental schools that can often perform necessary procedures at a fraction of the cost.

Though he specifically mentioned dental schools in Canada, that is also an option in America. Things I wish I had known as a 20-year-old…

3. Next up, John suggested that if you are sexually active, to get checked for STDs/STIs.

std check, std clinic

an image of STD tests

Canva

“If you're uncomfortable with your GP, or you don't have a GP, go to a sexual health clinic…. Just go get tested — it's better to know,” he said.

4. Get vaccines. “Be up on your vaccines, not just your flu shot."

vaccine near me

A man having just got a vaccine.

Canva

"We're talking Hep A/Hep B, and also if you're under 25, get your Gardasil 9. It's three shots. It prevents the cancer-causing HPV,” he explained.

And while he mostly discussed the free health care options found in Canada, HPV vaccines are covered by most insurances in the US. Plus there are other potentially free/low cost resources, such as the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program for those under 19.

5. Then get a PEP, aka Post-exposure prophylaxis, if you had a “risky sexual encounter” and are worried about having contracted HIV.

pep near me

Image of pills

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For this one, time really is of the essence. The sooner a PEP is taken, the more effective it is at preventing HIV, and must be taken within 72 hours of possible exposure to HIV.

Gotta say…list time 3-5 seem particularly important, as many young people are not given thorough sex education.

6. Rent. Everyone’s favorite.

rent prices, apartment near me

Image of a piggy back with a reminder to pay rent.

Canva

John explains that especially in a housing crisis, “your rent should be the first thing you take care of every month."

"It comes before everything. Now maybe if you have kids and they need to eat, of course, that's important," he added. "But a roof over their head is way more important and you do not want to give landlords any excuse to have you evicted. Pay your rent and pay it on time."

7. Hold onto that cellphone as long as possible.

cheap cellphone, lowering cellphone bill

Woman holding a cellphone

Canva

“I know we all want the new cell phones.Keep your phone as long as possible, OK?" he said. "I don't care if it's any iPhone 10, iPhone 8, keep it for as long as possible. Especially if you're under no contract—you have so much freedom.”

Instead of getting a new phone, John suggested switching providers every month to get special deals and save “$40–50 bucks a month,” which, as we all know, really adds up.

8. Only have one streaming subscription a month.

netflix, hbo, showtime, hulu

There's not need to have more than one streaming service at a time.

Canva

This one was admittedly “controversial,” John shared, but in his point of view, it’s a no brainer.

“You don't need Netflix, Disney, Hulu, whatever... you don't need them all the same month. January do Netflix, cancel. February do Hulu... All of these different apps, they let you save watchlists, right, like 'My List.' And if you cancel your subscription and you restart it two months later, your list is still there. So just save stuff, only pay for it once a month, and try to save some money,” he suggested.

What a wake up call, right? But other hardened adults couldn’t help but agree with John.

“This is very good advice, can confirm (unfortunately) as a fellow adult lol,” one person wrote.

Others appreciated how he took the time to share this list to help younger people avoid some pretty disheartening setbacks.

“I love people like you so much, just her to help others in life. People like you are so important because you didn’t have to make this video but you did.”

You can’t always trust what you hear on TikTok, but John’s advice is sound. What most life hacks seem to have in common, other than a healthy blend of common sense and 20/20 hindsight, is that it puts some form of security at the forefront—not necessarily instant gratification. Fun is so important, but as anyone with experience will tell you, peace of mind is priceless.

Watch the full video below:

@johnfluenzer #greenscreen Here is my list if things you jeed to start doing once you’re an adult! I know its not fun bit I wish someone had told me when I was younger. #genz #genalpha #adultingishard ♬ original sound - John

This article originally appeared on 12.10.23

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