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Elderly Wisconsin man shows up to support anti-trans bill and ends up apologizing instead

“When I came here my eyes were opened.”

Photo credit: Canva

Elderly Wisconsin man supporting anti-trans bill apologizes

There have been a lot of anti-trans bills being presented on the state and federal levels in recent years. Many of the bills are being presented as a way to protect girls and women from trans people in sports and public restrooms. The proposed legislative changes often play off the fear of the unknown and heighten the perceived risk to biological females.

The ongoing politicization of gender has resulted in a major shift in public sentiment. Recent research from Pew shows that support for transgender protections has dropped 8 points since 2022, with an equal 8 percent rise in the number of Americans who believe there should be laws that require athletes to compete on teams that match their sex at birth (88 percent).

Yet when one elderly man in Wisconsin fell into that way of thinking, he did something seemingly extraordinary in today's political climate. He listened. The elderly man named Larry was asked to speak in support of Assembly Bill 104 (AB104) at the Wisconsin State Legislature, but while he patiently waits his turn, something begins to change.


transgender, gender, trans athletes, politics, public debateExpand your mind, change your world. Image via Canva

AB104 is written to prohibit medical intervention for gender transition for people under the age of 18. Medical gender transition services for children typically involve puberty blockers once a child reaches the age where puberty is imminent. According to the Human Rights Campaign, hormone treatment is often reserved for late teens and those over the age of 18 with nothing medically irreversible being completed until after the age of 18. Puberty blockers and hormone replacement require parental consent as well as a consensus from the child's medical doctor and gender therapist.

Larry sat waiting to speak for seven hours before it was his turn and by the time he spoke he admittedly changed his stance. Not only did he change his stance, Larry did so publicly and proceeded to apologize for his ignorance on the topic before hearing the testimony of trans people.

joint session congress GIFGiphy

“First of all, I’d like to apologize to you people, I was invited here to give my support for bill 104. I have a very little knowledge of gay people and things like that there, Larry says while speaking to lawmakers. So when I came here, my eyes were opened. I was one of the critics that sat on the side and made the decision there was only two genders, so I got an education that was unbelievable."

Larry wasn't done, he wanted to let people know the testimonies changed his views, "and I don’t know just exactly how to say this but my perspective for people have changed. So I don’t want to take up no more of your time. I’d like to apologize for being here and I learned a very lot about this group of people."

The man's willingness to still get up to speak knowing his opinion had changed is an excellent example of how you can change your mind after receiving new information.

Larry did something that many people hope others will do while having a discussion by listening to another perspective with an open mind and being willing to change your perspective when new information is presented.

His one minute speech went viral on social media platforms like Reddit and TikTok with people praising the man's willingness to publicly change his opinion.

"To be an elderly person like this, and able to listen to new information from people with firsthand knowledge, while simultaneously developing thoughts and opinions based on that to grow, is amazing to see in real time. Bless him," one person shared.

"Legit renews my faith in humanity. There are times when I think this type of thoughtful reflection and changing of political viewpoints isn't possible, so it is really nice to see," another says.

An old man who was going to speak against gender-affirming care in the Wisconsin state legislature, changes stance after listening to testimony for 7 hours.
byu/RoyalChris inMadeMeSmile

"Real man, right there. Willing to admit his mistakes, and not dig his heels in any further once he sees truth. Keep learning and evolving, father," someone else writes.

"We need to teach humility to our kids and to each other. That power to recognize when you´re wrong? It's humility. Society at large tends to view humility as being meek or weak, but it's actually the exact opposite. The appreciation that this guy is getting in the comments is because we recognize the strength of his character. It requires courage to change viewpoints and even more courage to do it publicly. Humility is about knowing that you could be wrong and seek information that may be against what you believe, and, if you find it, change your mind. A strong mind changes their opinion quickly in the face of evidence. 'Strong opinions, loosely held,'" one person adds.

Unfortunately, the debate of gender isn't going away anytime soon. It's one of the most divisive topics in American public life even though it's one that impacts an incredibly small percentage of people. Regardless of where one falls on the issue, Larry's willingness to listen, learn and change his mind is one that all Americans would do well to follow. If we all genuinely want what's best for people, having an open mind and an open heart might be the change that will finally let our leaders focus on solutions over division.

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Wil Wheaton's locker room story shows exactly why homophobic jokes are a problem

One of the great rules of comedy is punch up, not down.

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Wil Wheaton | Wil Wheaton speaking at the 2018 Phoenix Comic… | Flickr

Comedy can be uplifting. And it can also be downright destructive. The rise of cancel culture has made us take a hard look at what we normalize for the sake of a good joke. And with Dave Chappelle’s controversial comedy special, that includes jokes which can be perceived as cruel or homophobic jabs by the LGBTQ community and allies.

At the same time, comedy is supposed to be disruptive, is it not? It’s meant to be audacious, bawdy, outrageous. And let’s not forget it’s often said sarcastically, meaning we don’t really believe what what's being said … right?

Wil Wheaton has previously given a brilliant take on how to separate the art from the artist. This time though, he’s confronting the art itself and what makes it problematic.

“For anyone who genuinely doesn't understand why I feel as strongly as I do about people like Chappelle making transphobic comments that are passed off as jokes, I want to share a story that I hope will help you understand, and contextualize my reaction to his behavior."

Wheaton started off his story by sharing how he used to play ice hockey when he was 16, and one night enjoyed a warm welcome as a guest goalie. After a fun practice, Wheaton joined his teammates in the locker room.

“Before I tell you what happened next, I want to talk specifically about comedy and how much I loved it when I was growing up… One of the definitive comedy specials for me and my friends was Eddie Murphy's Delirious, from 1983. It had bits that still kill me… Really funny stuff.

There is also extensive homophobic material that is just…appalling and inexcusable. Long stretches are devoted to mocking gay people, using the slur that starts with F over and over and over. Young Wil, who watched this with his suburban white upper middle class friends, in his privileged bubble, thought it was the funniest, edgiest, dirtiest thing he'd ever heard… And all of it was dehumanizing to gay men… I didn't know any better. I accepted the framing, I developed a view of gay men as predatory, somehow less than straight men, absolutely worthy of mockery and contempt. Always good for a joke…

Wil Wheaton | Wil Wheaton at the Phoenix Comicon, on the Eur… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

…A comedian who I thought was one of the funniest people on the planet totally normalized making a mockery of gay people, and because I was a privileged white kid, raised by privileged white parents, there was nobody around me to challenge that perception. For much of my teen years, I was embarrassingly homophobic, and it all started with that comedy special.”

Here Wheaton pivots back to the locker room:

“So I'm talking with these guys…We're doing that sports thing where you talk about the great plays, and feel like you're part of something special.

And then, without even realizing what I was doing, that awful word came out of my mouth. ‘Blah blah blah F****t,’ I said.

The room fell silent and that's when I realized every single guy in this room was gay. They were from a team called The Blades (amazing) and I had just ... really fucked up.

"'Do you have any gay friends?" One of them asked me, gently.

"Yes," I said, defensively. Then, I lied, "they say that all the time." I was so embarrassed and horrified. I realized I had basically said the N word, in context, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to beg forgiveness. But I was a stupid sixteen year-old with pride and ignorance and fear all over myself, so I lied to try and get out of it.

"They must not love themselves very much," he said, with quiet disappointment.

Nobody said another word to me. I felt terrible. I shoved my gear into my bag and left as quickly as I could.”

“That happened over 30 years ago, and I think about it all the time. I'm mortified and embarrassed and so regretful that I said such a hurtful thing. I said it out of ignorance, but I still said it, and I said it because I believed these men, who were so cool and kind and just like all the other men I played with (I was always the youngest player on the ice) were somehow less than ... I guess everyone. Because that had been normalized for me by culture and comedy.

A *huge* part of that normalization was through entertainment that dehumanized gay men in the service of "jokes". And as someone who thought jokes were great, I accepted it. I mean, nobody was making fun of *ME* that way…so…

This stuff that Chappelle did? …For a transgender person, those "jokes" normalize hateful, ignorant, bigoted behavior towards them. Those "jokes" contribute to a world where transgender people are constantly under threat of violence, because transgender people have been safely, acceptably, dehumanized. And it's all okay, because they were dehumanized by a Black man……Literally every queer person I know (and I know a LOT) is hurt by Chappelle's actions. When literally every queer person I know says "this is hurtful to me", I'm going to listen to them and support them, and not tell them why they are wrong…”

Wil Wheaton brings up some powerful points. While this is a complex issue, the insidious nature of dehumanizing jokes is pretty blatant. At some point we have to ask ourselves: Is it really worth harming someone else for the sake of a joke? When put that bluntly, the answer, I hope, is a resounding no.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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In 1983 actor Harvey Fierstein bravely shared what it means to be gay in prime-time TV interview

“I assume that everyone is gay unless I'm told otherwise," he told Barbara Walters.

via ClipoRama/YouTubeClipoRama/YouTube

Harvey Fierstein explains what it means to be gay to Barbara Walters.

If you want to know what it was like to be gay in the United States in the 1980s, an interview on ABC’s “20/20” where one of America’s prominent journalists, Barbara Walters, talked to 29-year-old Broadway legend Harvey Fierstein, is a great place to start. In 1983, Fierstein was the hottest thing on Broadway” with 2 hit shows: “La Cage aux Folles” and “Torch Song Trilogy.” But even though he was the talk of the town, Walters treats his homosexuality as if it is something foreign and threatening.

At the time, Fierstein was a rarity in pop culture—an openly gay male celebrity and his “Torch Song Trilogy” dared to do the unthinkable: humanize homosexual relationships. Fierstein later found mainstream success in films, starring alongside Robin Williams in “The Birdcage,” a movie version of “La Cage aux Folles,” and “Mrs. Doubtfire.”

In 1983, Fiersten sat down with Walters for a prime-time interview where he made the case that homosexuality wasn’t a deviant lifestyle and that it’s much more prevalent than most people think, especially in the arts.

“What's it like to be a homosexual,” Walters asked the actor, writer and one-time drag queen, point-blank. “I don't know. I'm just a person. I'm a person who sees the world in the opposite light than you do, that's all. But I see the exact same world as you do. I assume that everyone is gay unless I'm told otherwise. You assume everyone's straight unless you're told otherwise,” he told Walters and the millions of viewers watching at home.

Fierstein went on to dismiss the myth that homosexuality was caused by a strong mother and a weak father by noting that his brother was straight. He added that people must be born gay because LGBTQ people are found in every part of the world. “I mean you have to you have to start from the basics, 10% of the world is gay,” Fierstein said. “You got to stop with the ‘this is a sickness,’ ‘this is an abnormality.’ This is a normal thing that has gone on through the history of man. It has always been 10% of the population has never been bred out.”

In the interview, Fierstein also debunks the notion that homosexual people can’t enjoy the same type of committed romantic relationships as heterosexuals. “Those are not heterosexual experiences and those are not heterosexual words. Those are human words. Love, commitment, family belong to all people,” Fierstein said. "It is the norm in the homosexual community. It is not the norm in what you see on the news and all that. But what you see on the news and what you see in print are the bars.”



Fierstein added that when a happy lesbian couple stays together for 70 years, it doesn’t make the news. “Monogamy is as prevalent a disease in homosexuality as it is in heterosexuality. It's all the life choice that you make for yourself,” he joked.

The interview is a fascinating time capsule of a world right before the AIDS epidemic when LGBTQ people began coming out of the closet in increasing numbers to help fight the deadly pandemic. In the interview, Fierstein, as one of the few out and proud gay male role models, was forced to share simple truths about gay life that, 40-plus years later, most people have come to understand. It took a lot of courage for Firestein to speak his truth on such a big stage, and he did so fearlessly and with love and humor.

You can watch the entire interview here.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Over 800 LGBTQ troops kicked out under ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ get upgraded to honorable discharges

The Pentagon is trying to right the wrongs of the discriminatory policy.

via Ted Eytan/Flickr

Protestors with a Pride flag outside of the White House.

The Pentagon announced on Tuesday, October 15, that it has restored the honor of more than 800 LGBTQ veterans discharged from the military under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. "Under President Biden's leadership, the Department of Defense has taken extraordinary steps to redress the harms done by ‘Don't Ask, Don't Tell’ and other policies on these former Service members," Secretary of Defense Lloyd J. Austin announced in a statement.

The Pentagon's discharge status upgrades from dishonorable to honorable are a way to atone for the discriminatory policies it has enacted in the past. However, they also unlock access to veterans benefits for those affected by the policy.

For decades, many who bravely served their country couldn't access military benefits, including health care, college tuition, VA loan programs and some jobs. A defense official said that veterans affected by the upgrade will be sent information on how to get copies of their new, honorable discharge certification.

“We will continue to honor the service and the sacrifice of all our troops—including the brave Americans who raised their hands to serve but were turned away because of whom they love,” Austin said. The restoration of these veterans' honor comes a year after the Pentagon launched a review of military records of LGBTQ people discharged with a less-than-honorable status.



The “Don't Ask, Don’t Tell Policy” came as a compromise between the Bill Clinton Administration and the Pentagon that began as an attempt to end 8 decades of LGBTQ discrimination in the military. Up to that point, over 100,000 LGBTQ veterans had been kicked out of the armed services due to their sexuality.

The Clinton Administration promised to overturn the discriminatory policies until a Military Working Group determined that homosexuality was “inconsistent” with military service. These findings resulted in a compromise: Gay people could serve in the military as long as their sexuality remained a secret.

The "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" policy was in place between 1994 and 2011, and during that time, 13,500 military members were forced out of service. The majority were given honorary discharges; however, about 2,000 were separated with less-than-honorary distinctions.

“It’s really hard to truly wrap your head around the fear of living under ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ The possibility that if someone found out about you, your entire life in the military could go away – that fear was a constant. That is sometimes lost when we talk about this policy, how it drains on you … you have to act for your personal sanity,” Gina Ortiz Jones, Under Secretary of the Air Force, reflected on the 10th anniversary of its repeal.

“The military is known for its bonds,” Jones continued. “But you can’t have those bonds when you can’t share your life or talk about your family with those you serve alongside. And when you’re in the military, your entire family serves – it’s hard to have seen how that would happen if the policy didn’t change.”

‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was repealed on September 20, 2011, and service members discharged for their sexuality were allowed to re-enroll. Future recruits who joined the military were now free to do so without fear of facing discrimination for their sexuality.

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