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Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard open up about being attracted to other people - and why that's OK

For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

via The Walt Disney Company / Flickr

One of the ways to tell if you're in a healthy relationship is whether you and your partner are free to talk about other people you find attractive. For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

Of course, there's a healthy way to approach such a potentially dangerous topic.

Telling your partner you find someone else attractive shouldn't be about making them feel jealous. It's probably also best that if you're attracted to a coworker, friend, or their sibling, that you keep it to yourself.


But, being open about your sexual feelings, can be a way to spice things up in the bedroom and to let your partner know what you like.

Actress and mental health advocate Kristen Bell admits that she and her husband, actor Dax Shepard, have learned how to be open about their attraction to other people. The couple believes that being able to talk about such taboo topics without making each other jealous is a great way to preserve their relationship.

"He can tell me someone he finds attractive, female or male, 'cause he pauses the Olympics on a lot of runners, but it doesn't make me feel like he's going to leave me for that person because I'm not allowing my self-esteem to be affected," she explained.

Bell believes that it's completely normal and healthy for people in monogamous relationships to be attracted to other people.

"I know there are people on planet Earth that are more attractive than me, and well, we're not dead. I have to acknowledge we're monkeys," Bell said. As an attractive, famous couple working in Hollywood, there is extra pressure for them to be able to handle their jealousy.

The couple has also done a good job at accepting the fact that Bell is the primary bread-winner in the family. Studies show men have higher levels of stress if their wives earn more than 40% of their home's combined income.

About a third of women in the U.S. make more than their husbands.

While Shepard has had a successful career, acting in films such as "Idiocracy" and "Without a Paddle," Bell has starred in some major hits including, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and the "Bad Moms" films.

She's also made a pretty penny voicing Princess Anna in Disney's "Frozen" franchise.

"I think I've always out-earned him," Bell said about their careers. "I got a lot of opportunity, you're sharing in it, we're able to provide for a ton of our family members who may or may not be struggling," she continued, as if addressing Shepard. "I don't look at it like, 'This is mine and this is yours.' I'm like, 'This is ours. Get over it.'"

Bell believes that the couple's ability to get over petty jealousy is one way to make sure their unique relationship stands the test of time.

"Do you want to be on the porch with someone when you're 80?" Bell asked. "We both want that."


This article originally appeared on 5.6.21

Family

Kristen Bell's 'honest parenting approach' could help other parents.

Parents sometimes withhold honest information to protect their kids, but that may not be the best approach.

Kristen Bell's honest parenting approach could help other parents.

Let's be honest here for a minute.

There are tough conversations that are just plain ol' uncomfortable for parents to have with their children. Some parents would rather deflect difficult questions or give a very made-up, childlike answer. For example, a parent might tell a child babies come from storks or they give them out at the hospital, just to avoid the topic of sex.

The thought is usually that the child is too young to know actual information about the difficult topic, so in a fit of panic, the parent makes something up. But as a licensed therapist with a degree in child development, I can tell you kids typically only ask questions they're ready to hear the answer to. In fact, they're really good at letting you know when you over-explain because they'll either change the subject or become obviously disinterested.

Actress Kristen Bell made headlines recently for her approach to discussing difficult topics with her children. She's honest with her kids, even about their father's addiction and recovery. Bell appeared in the magazine Real Simple and explained that there's nothing off the table to discuss with her two daughters, Delta, 8, and Lincoln, 9 1/2.


"I know it's shocking, but I talk to my kids about drugs, and the fact that their daddy is an addict and he's in recovery, and we talk about sex," she says. "There are all these 'hard topics' that don't have to be if you give the person on the other end your vulnerability and a little bit of credit," Bell told Real Simple. Being completely honest with children can be shocking to some parents, Bell noted in the interview.

Certainly, complete honesty comes with the caveat of delivering the information in an age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate way. But why do parents shy away from honesty when it comes to talking to kids about hard topics? Well, in my experience, it's often because it makes the parent uncomfortable or they're so worried about getting it wrong that they put off answering, thus creating anxiety-inducing anticipation.

Parents don't want to accidentally mess up their kids and they also don't want to expose them to things they don't think they're ready for. And sometimes things pop up unexpectedly that parents simply don't have a choice about when it comes to having hard conversations.

"There are many things that children don't yet understand, and exposing them to complex topics early on can help both their emotional and intellectual development," Alicia Robins from the Institute for Childhood Preparedness wrote. Being truthful also helps encourage children to be open and honest in return because there's been a reciprocal exchange of information and feelings from an early age.

A 2022 study of Indigenous families found that being honest with children created more resilience, quality relationships and overall life satisfaction. But when looking at parents who practiced less open communication, including lying, children were less likely to be resilient and had an increased risk of trauma symptoms in adolescence.

While experts aren't saying you should tell your children all the nitty gritty details of topics, they are saying that age-appropriate honesty is best, even when the topics are hard.

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Kristen Bell announces This Saves Lives new partnership with Upworthy.

True

Every day, Upworthy shares stories that spotlight the very best of humanity. But if there’s one cause that unites us all, it’s solving child hunger.

In a recent poll of our followers, we found that child hunger is the issue they care about most. So today, we’re doing something about it. We’ve joined forces with humanitarian snack brand This Saves Lives to end child hunger.

This Saves Lives co-founder, actress Kristen Bell.

This Saves Lives was founded in 2013 with the goal of ending early childhood severe acute malnutrition. Its solution is simple, for every snack you purchase, they give life-saving food to a child in need. This Saves Lives has already donated over 30 million packets of lifesaving food in Haiti, Guatemala, Kenya and beyond. We hope our new partnership works to feed millions more.

“Will you join us? It’s easy and delicious.” — Kristen Bell.

Join us and explore delicious snacks that give back at thissaveslives.com/doinggoodtogether.