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People share subtle, tell-tale signs that someone's genuinely a good person

The "shopping cart theory" still lives.

Photo credit: Canva

Returning a shopping cart can be one subtle sign of a good person.

The world is filled with genuinely good people who care about their fellow human beings and always try to do the kind or honorable thing. Unfortunately, there are also some charlatans out there who may try to convince people they are good when they're not. Grifters, con men, and narcissists can pretend to be kind, loving, or scrupulous, but it's all in service of some selfish motive. So how can you tell the difference?

It's not always clear, especially at first, but there are some subtle indicators that a person's virtues are real and sincere. People shared the tell-tale signs that tell them a person is genuinely good, and it's a helpful list to run through if you find yourself questioning someone's true character.

from AskReddit

They can admit weakness and apologize

"They’re willing to admit when they were wrong or when they don’t know something."

"They authentically apologize when they are wrong or when they make a mistake without anyone asking them to. They can let go of ego for the sake of what is right. On the opposite side of the same coin, they have a forgiving nature."

"They hold themselves accountable for their actions. They apologize and try to make amends. Are willing to learn from their mistakes and misconceptions."

They do the right thing when it's not convenient

"One of my favorite sayings is 'Principles only mean something if you stand up for them when it’s inconvenient.' When people stand up for what’s right at a time when it isn’t convenient, that’s a good person."

"A favorite of mine as well. I’ve always heard it as 'Values aren’t values until they cost you something.'"

"It's easy to be a good person when things are easy. A true good person will remain good when they are angry, or scared, etc. If your morals evaporate under stress, you don't actually have morals."

kindness, helpfulness, good people, good personGoing out of your way to be kind is a sign of a good person.Photo credit: Canva

They're kind when they don't have to be

"They’re polite to people they have authority over."

"This is the one for me. Kind leaders are everything. Imagine if the leaders of the free world operated on this premise."

"They treat people that cannot do anything for them very well."

They speak well of others when they're not around to hear it

"Complimenting people behind their back."

"This is actually big. It’s super easy to gossip about someone behind their back but it’s always refreshing when people just have nice things to say about others even when they aren’t there."

"Or defending someone when someone is gossiping behind their back!"

i like him good guy GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphy

They are selflessly and anonymously kind

"They do good things for others without expecting something in return."

"And may I add that they do it without advertising their good deed, nothing on the internet, news paper, discussion with friends. They do it quietly and humbly."

"They do something kind without telling anyone else about it."

They include those who might feel left out

"They fill you in / include you in an existing convo that you’ve just joined."

"They are the one in the group who stops and waits for you while you to tie your shoe or they hold the door as the rest of the group keeps moving."

"When you say something that immediately gets talked over by the rest of the group or wasn't heard, and they make it a point to stop and add on to/ask what you said."

They return shopping carts

"They always put their shopping carts away."

"Returning your shopping cart. There are no laws that say you have to, & there’s no rewards for doing it either, it’s purely an act of selflessness to benefit the people who have to work at the store & take care of the parking lots/carts."

"Shopping cart theory! Is it polite to return the cart? Does it ease the workload of a stranger? Yes! Are we punished if we don't? No! It's a great litmus test for social responsibility."

Are these diehard rules for what makes a good person? No. Are there other things that could be added to this list? Yes. Can animals always tell if a person is good? Maybe. (People were split on that one, mainly because if an animal was mistreated by someone they may naturally fear or dislike a person who looks like their abuser. No fault of the person themselves.) However, this list can give us some clues about people's character and maybe even help us take a look in the mirror and assess our own.

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Disability

Host of 'Survivor' stuns viewers with respectful gesture toward contestant with a stutter

"I'm so thankful you asked that."

SurvivorCBS/Instagram

It costs nothing to be kind.

Reality TV isn't usually the place you go to see great examples of kindness and empathy. But that's exactly what happened on NBC just the other night in a brief moment of humanity wedged in-between all the usual conniving and backstabbing.

Over 80 million people worldwide live with a stutter. It's more common in childhood and many people will outgrow it as they get older, but millions of adults live with this speech disorder. One of them is a man named Mitch Guerra, who just so happens to be a contestant on the latest season of Survivor. Just his presence on the show is bringing so much awareness to an under-discussed and commonly misunderstood disability.

Survivor host Jeff Probst is getting universal praise for the way he handled an interaction with Guerra in a recent episode.

gif of Survivor host saying, "I'll go tally the votes."Jeff ProbstGiphy

In a clip shared on the official Survivor Instagram account, Probst and Guerra share a short but powerful moment.

"Mitch, I have a question," Probst asks after Guerra finishes a sentence with some difficulty. "When you're struggling, do you want help from someone? Or is part of it to let you finish when you're ready to finish."

The question is natural, honest, and refreshing. A lot of people can relate to the genuine confusion—is it better to fill in the blanks for someone who's struggling to speak, or be patient and let them finish when they're having a hard time?

"The hope is that everyone would just kind of hang in there for me and just give me the opportunity to finish my sentence," Guerra answers. "But I'm so thankful you asked that, because people just naturally want to help others, and sometimes we don't feel comfortable enough asking that. So thank you for that."

"Thank you for teaching us how to do it," Probst says.

For what it's worth, the experts say Guerra is exactly right. Friends and allies of people who stutter should maintain eye contact, avoid suggestions or words of encouragement ("Take your time" is not helpful), and wait patiently for the person to finish speaking rather than trying to finish their sentences for them.

Watch the heartwarming interaction here:

Viewers are applauding Probst for his empathetic curiosity, and appreciating Guerra for representing the stuttering community so well.

Over a million people viewed the Reel on Instagram, and the comment section quickly got emotional:

"Super interesting how in answering that, his speech settled - like just being asked how to help relaxed him so that he wasn’t worrying about finishing. Might be coincidence but lovely to see someone asking"

"As a momma with a child who stutters, I loved seeing this moment. Our kiddo has been stuttering since around age 6, now he’s 17 and still struggles with it. Even after after many years of speech therapy. The one thing we learned is just let them continue to talk and don’t try and help with completing the sentences. Mitch is right, just hang in there and let them finish!"

"I have his same stutter so this really hit home for me. It is SO much better (for me personally) when someone just waits out my stutters with me and stays engaged. There’s been so many times where people try to guess what I want to say (often incorrectly) or seemingly lose interest in what I have to say and it makes me feel so rushed and belittled for something I can’t control. I love Mitch so much and he’s really been helping me get over my fear of applying due to my stutter."

"This has literally been one of the most thought provoking and beautiful moments in recent Survivor history. I never considered how our attempts at wanting to be kind and help someone finish their sentence could make them feel less than. THIS was such a powerful interaction and I’m so grateful he had the opportunity to voice this this. Truly beautiful."

One user pointed out that not only was this a beautiful interaction between two people, but the fact that it occurred in front of such a big audience means the small moment could have a big impact in educating people all over the globe.

"Just like that a bunch of people are now informed how to address a situation like that"

Disabilities tend to make us uncomfortable. Even the most well-meaning people can twist themselves into knots not knowing how best to empathetically approach a situation where another person is struggling, and we might feel like it's rude or inconsiderate to ask. But that fear ultimately holds us back from a deeper understanding of what people are going through and how we can help. Kudos to Probst and Guerra for showing us what an honest and empathetic conversation can and should look like.

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Education

The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to literary genius Leo Tolstoy

He was a master of understanding the human condition.

en.m.wikipedia.org
File:L.N.Tolstoy Prokudin-Gorsky.jpg - Wikipedia

Leo Tolstoy was a Russian novelist known for epic works such as"War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina.” His life experiences—from witnessing war to spiritual quests—profoundly influenced his writings and gave him profound insights into the human soul. His understanding of emotions, motivations and moral dilemmas has made his work stand the test of time, and it still resonates with people today.

Julian de Medeiros, a TikTokker who shares his thoughts on philosophy, recently shared how Tolstoy knew if someone was highly intelligent, and his observation says something extraordinary about humanity.

“The more intelligent a person is, the more he discovers kindness in others,” Tolstoy once wrote. “For nothing enriches the world more than kindness. It makes mysterious things clear, difficult things easy, and dull things cheerful.”

@julianphilosophy

Intelligent people are kind #intelligent #intelligence #kindness #smart #tolstoy #men #women

De Medeiros boiled down Tolstoy’s thoughts into a simple statement: “Intelligent people are unafraid to be kind.” He then took things a step further by noting that Tolstoy believed in the power of emotional intelligence. "To have emotional intelligence is to see the good in other people, that is what Tolstoy meant, that to be intelligent is to be kind," he added.

It seems that, according to de Medeiros, Tolstoy understood that intelligent people are kind and perceptive of the kindness in others. The intelligent person is conscious of the kindness within themselves and in the world around them.

Through the words of Tolstoy, de Medeiros makes a point that is often overlooked when people talk about intelligence. Truly smart people are as in touch with their hearts as they are with their minds.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Wellness

A woman with dementia adored her haircut. Her husband's letter to the stylist is everything.

"Looking back, it was likely dozens of haircuts you gave that day. But one which revitalized a woman's sense of self and her singular beauty."

Image by Michelle Maria from Pixabay, Sara Verkuilen/Instagram

Grab a tissue, folks, because this is one of those stories that has almost too much love and goodness to bear in it.

Sara Verkuilen was working at Hair Cuttery in Round Lake Beach, Illinois last winter when an older couple walked in for a haircut. "I don't think I had ever done their hair before," Verkuilen told Upworthy. "They were walk-ins."

The man and his wife were "just really cute together," she recalled. "He was so sweet with her and obviously very in love."

Little did Verkuilen know how much of an impression her personal service and professional skills would have on both them that day.

The stylist shared a letter she received recently from the husband, signed only as "a grateful customer." The letter reads:

"Dear Sara,

This is a little bit awkward. But I've waited a really long time to pass this on to you.

My wife and I came in for haircuts shortly before Christmas of last year.

My wife was suffering from dementia, and you treated her as if you'd been working with dementia patients all your life. You let us sit next to each other, and when it came time for her cut you turned her chair towards me so I could watch her expression as you cut her hair.

It turned out even better than I thought it would.

Sadly, she died in March. And that haircut was one of the last, best moments of her life. She felt so pretty. She visited the mirror in her bathroom several times during the day and would come out beaming.

To see her so happy was priceless.

Looking back, it was likely dozens of haircuts you gave that day. But one which revitalized a woman's sense of self and her singular beauty. I hope you always realize the power of your profession.

It's so easy to take things like that for granted.

Sincerely,

A grateful customer"

Verkuilen said she wishes she could contact the man.

She doesn't remember the couple's name and the letter didn't give any personal information, but it meant a great deal to her to receive it. She says she'd been feeling kind of stuck and bored in her career, which she's been in about eight years, and this letter gave her the boost she needed.

"Receiving this letter was a huge reminder why I do what I do," she said. "It's an amazing feeling seeing someone look in the mirror after a transformation and smiling. Seeing how beautiful they feel, how confidence levels change. But it's an extremely difficult career. I get burnt out easily. I hope this letter can restore faith in other stylists that are maybe doubting if this career is right for them. We touch more than hair and I hope all the stylists out there realize how important they are and how what we do can have such an impact on our clients."

She also hopes seeing the letter helps clients understand that stylists don't "just cut hair."

What a beautiful reminder to appreciate people who work in service jobs, the little things that make us happy, the "singular beauty" of our loved ones, and the time we have with them.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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