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A mom called her partner a 'blue heeler husband' and Bluey fans are smitten

Move over, golden retriever boyfriends.

Kiersten Lyons & By Ludo Studio / BBC Studios

"Blue heeler husbands" are the new standard.

By now you've probably heard of the elusive "golden retriever boyfriend." The concept has been explained and remixed on TikTok and analyzed by therapists over and over, but if you've ever met a real-life golden retriever, you probably get the idea. Loyal, fun-loving, affectionate—maybe not the smartest tool in the shed, and perhaps a little clingy. But overall, Verywell Mind describes the golden retriever boyfriend as "outgoing, easily excited, and game to do just about anything (yes, even the embarrassing things too) ... the classic fairytale story IRL. It's the handsome man who is so unbelievably in love with you and doesn’t want to leave your side. ...You're in a relationship with someone warm, optimistic, loyal, kind, and appreciative."

Can't get too much better than that, right? Wrong!

One mom recently went viral for nominating an even better male partner/dog breed metaphor: The blue heeler.


gif of Bandit, Bluey, and Bingo running through the groceryPresenting Bandit Heeler, the original blue heeler husband. Giphy

Kiersten Lyons started casually referring to her partner as her "blue heeler husband" online, particularly in a series of hilarious Instagram reels where he takes her out for coffee dates under ridiculously silly pretenses, and commenters immediately asked the natural question: What the heck is a 'blue heeler husband'?

So she made another video offering up her explanation, which was about as self-explanatory as it gets. The reel showed a montage of footage of her husband, Bradley, being a big ol' goofball: Dancing with the kids, speaking in funny accents, making everyone in the house laugh. And, of course, the footage also featured clips of Bradley's ultimate hero and inspiration: Bandit Heeler from the hit show, Bluey.

The caption at the end of Lyon's video says it all:

"Ridiculously playful, thoughtful, committed, doesn't like to be late, Bandit in human form, AKA the BEST"

Yes, the "blue heeler husband" is an ode to TV's finest dad: Bandit Heeler, the true star of Bluey, himself. The funniest and most loving dad perhaps in the history of all of television, the master game-inventor, the GOAT. I like to imagine Lyons' concept as the final form of the golden retriever boyfriend when he becomes a father. It's also worth noting that the blue heeler—the real-life dog breed—is best known as a hardworking, intelligent, loyal, and eager to please family pet. While Bandit from Bluey is known best for his silliness, those more subtle traits are just as important.

Turns out, 'blue heeler husbands' are everywhere.

Lyon's explanation reel racked up over 100,000 views on Instagram, and Bluey fans everywhere are so on board. Comments poured in from moms who have their very own Bandit at home:

"Aww I have one of those to ! 😂 best breed you could get"

"got one of these at home myself! It's the best! The very very best!"

"Omg that’s my man too!"

gif of Bandit Heeler dancing against yellow backgroundBlue heeler husbands understand the power of play.Giphy

It's hard to overstate how much the show Bluey has done for dads. It's the best representation fathers have had in movies and television in decades. The show has simultaneously spotlighted all the incredible, hands-on, involved, loving dads out there while also inspiring all of us to be at our best.

Is it completely realistic to be 'always on' the way Bandit and Chilli are in the show? Definitely not. But a lot of fathers (and mothers) have been inspired to say 'Yes' to their kids just a little more often after following Bandit's lead, to be just a little more playful and imaginative, and that is making a huge different in this generation of kids' lives.

(The data backs this up. Millennial dads are spending about 3 times as much time with their kids as previous generations. Bluey isn't fully responsible, of course, but I absolutely believe the show has played a part in reshaping dad's attitudes toward parenting.)

Where do you find your own blue heeler man? Though they're becoming more common, you may still have to weed through a few...less desirable breeds. Lyons, an author, has a memoir coming out that she describes as "a romcom in real life" and the story of "how did I get to having an amazing husband who takes me out for coffee dates.” The book promises a lot of heartbreak along the way but, much like an episode of Bluey, you can probably expect a happy (and extremely silly) ending.

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Mom shares 'kind can' idea after 7-year-old expresses struggles with friends at school

She described the "kind can" as "a way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close.”

Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos/Facebook

The "kind can" is a tool for helping kids connect with others.

At some point, most parents have to field questions, concerns, worries, anxieties, angst and sometimes downright despair from our kids over their relationships with other kids. Friendships can be messy. Bullying is a thing. When you pool together a couple dozen kids who are growing and changing and figuring out their emotions for most of the day, all manner of relational dynamics can occur.

Navigating the social landscape with our kids isn't easy. Each child is unique, some are more sensitive or aware of what's happening than others, and some need assistance with figuring out how to handle tough social situations. As parents, we don't want to swoop in and solve their problems, but we also don't want to leave them rudderless in a storm. We want to provide them with the tools and help them build the skills they'll need to steer their own ship.

One tool that can help a kid who is struggling to connect with their peers is intentional kindness. However, a blanket admonition to "be kind" is often too vague to help a kid in the midst of a social crisis. That's why one parent's "kind can" idea has gone viral—it offers a specific way to practice kindness in a way that's not overwhelming.

A 2022 post on LinkedIn and then on Facebook, Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos shared the idea, writing:

"'Mom, I hate them.'

'Them' being her friends at school.

This is what my 7-year-old confided to me as I was putting her to bed the other night.

I could have made light of her hatred, like I’ve done when she tells me she hates broccoli.

I could have gotten caught up in her anger: 'Who are these kids upsetting my daughter!?'

Instead, I asked her what was going on that her heart hurt so much.

Because under anger is usually hurt."

"Sure enough, the tears came pouring out as she told me about how her best friend only wanted to play with another girl, and how when she went to find others to play with they told her to go away. This had been happening all week.

'Why doesn’t anybody like me?'

I didn’t have an answer for that, but I did have a thought: It’s time for the Kind Can.

Suddenly I was 8 years old again, a grade 3 student who was having a rough start to the school year. I had a teacher I didn’t like, friendships had shifted, and I couldn’t seem to get along with anyone. I hated going to school.

My mom created a Kind Can.

She used a big Nescafe tin can (remember those?)

In the can went the names of every single one of my classmates. Each morning before school I would pull a name out of the can. That day I had to go out of my way to do something kind for them.

Not to have them do something in return.

For no other reason than to do something kind.

It wasn’t easy at first, but my mom encouraged me to keep trying, and helped me think of all the different ways I could show kindness to others.

It started to get really fun!

And then things shifted.

No longer caught up in my own mind about what others were ‘doing to me’, I was now focused on what I was doing for others.

Though there were no expectations of kindness in return, more and more kindness is what I got. I loved going to school!

I told my daughter about the Kind Can and her eyes got that little spark – the one that tells me she’s about to get creative.

So yes, she has big plans for just how fancy this can will be – much better than an old tin can she proclaimed! That’s our project.

A Kind Can.

A way to create more kindness.

A way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close."

People loved the kind can idea, with the post being shared more than 3,000 times. Some people pointed out the beauty of the wisdom in it being passed down through generations. Several parents wished that they had seen the idea when their own kids were going through some social struggles. Many commenters said that a lot of adults could use a kind can as well.

A kind can won't solve every friendship woe a child has, but goodness knows the world could use more kindness. Helping kids practice that virtue with a tool that makes it specific and fun is definitely a win-win.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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2 years before ChatGPT, a kids cartoon warned us about the environmental impacts of AI

Kids should know what AI can and can't do, and what it really costs. Doc McStuffins is on the case.

Disney Jr./YouTube, Unsplash

My 4-year-old watches so much Doc McStuffins that the show has basically become white noise in my household. It's the only thing she'll watch, so when it's on in the background, I barely notice — outside of the absurdly catchy songs living rent-free in my head 24/7. But the other day, she was watching one particular episode when I half tuned in just to see what the plot was.

If you don't have kids in this age bracket, Doc McStuffins is a 10-year-old girl who helps fix up broken toys. It's a really cute show with sweet messages on acceptance, accessibility, imagination, caring, and more. But the episode in question seemed to have a lot more going on plot-wise than the usual, so I sat down and watched a little more. And pretty soon I was hooked into a fascinating story about the climate dangers of Artificial Intelligence and automation. I couldn't believe it!

'The Great McStuffins Meltdown' explained

Season 5, Episode 13. Doc McStuffins, in the previous season, has stopped running her toy-doctoring practice out of her childhood home and now works at McStuffins Toy Hospital. In this episode, it has received a major upgrade with lots of fancy new equipment.

The new machines do a lot of the work that Doc and her friends used to do around the hospital. There's a machine that plays with and encourages toy pets, a Cuddle Bot that cuddles sick toys, and even a Check-Up 3000 that gives routine medical care so the Doc herself can do other things. Doc and her friends are a little bored, and the patients aren't so sure about these new machines, but mostly, things are going pretty great. The hospital is able to help more toys, faster this way.

But oh no! Doc gets a distress call from her friends at the Toyarctic, a fictional frozen land where toys live. Chunks of ice have been breaking off their glaciers. The Toyarctic is melting!

Doc and her friends quickly figure out that the Toyarctic has gotten too warm, which is causing the ice to melt. And the culprit is McStuffins Hospital. With all the new automated machines running, the hospital is using too much power and overheating the power grid, which is causing the Toyarctic's climate to warm at a dangerous rate.

I mean... woah! Doc McStuffins definitely did not have to go this hard, but I respect it.

What fascinated me most was that this episode was released in 2020 — a full two years before ChatGPT became publicly available and the AI craze kicked into hyperdrive.

Disney Jr./YouTube

AI and climate change are both inevitable parts of our children's lives. It's crucial that they learn about them both from a young age.

AI is moving so fast and changing every day. It's also publicly available to people of all ages, and so many of us don't understand how it works very well. That's a dangerous combination. Teachers and college professors everywhere are bemoaning that more and more kids are using AI to write their papers and do their homework without ever learning the material.

And, of course, the even bigger elephant in the room is climate change, which will play a major role in our children's lives as they grow into adults. Parents are desperate for some way to help their kids understand how big of a deal it is. A report from This Is Planeted states "Nearly 70% of parents and caregivers surveyed in 2022 believed children’s media should include age-appropriate information about climate, and 74% agreed that children’s media should include climate solutions," but that less than 5% of the most popular children's shows and family films have any content or themes related to climate change.

(I'd be curious how much of the heavy lifting the GOAT Captain Planet is still doing!)

captain planet flyingGiphy

What's not being talked about enough — unless you're a McStuffins-head like my family is — is the relationship between AI and climate change.

In short: It's not good! AI seems like a quick and fun thing we can access on our phones and computers, but the massive data centers that perform the calculations behind this 'intelligence' consume staggering amounts of power and water, while generating heat and harmful emissions. Promises of more energy-efficient intelligence models, like DeepSeek, are murky at best.

Scientific American even writes that the environmental impact of AI goes far beyond its emissions and energy usage. What is it being used for? In many cases, to make things faster and bigger — including industries that can harm the Earth like logging, drilling, fast fashion.

I was so impressed that a show popular with children as young as 2 could tackle such an urgent and important topic.

Watching it together opened doors for us to begin age-appropriate conversations with both of our kids about AI, climate change, and how the two are related. Conversations that, I'm sure, we'll be continuing to have and build on for years to come.

To be fair, Artificial Intelligence can do some good things. You see this play out on the show. Initially, it does help the hospital treat more toys! And in the real world, for all the negative environmental effects, there are people out there trying to use AI to monitor emissions and create more energy-efficient practices that might ultimately help the planet.

In the end, Doc McStuffins and her friends decide to shut down the fancy automated machines at the hospital. Not only are they hurting the toys that live in the Toyarctic, they just aren't as good as the real thing. They don't always know the right questions to ask, they don't make the patients feel safe or cared for, and of course, their machine-cuddles don't come with any real warmth or love.

If nothing else, I hope that's the message that sticks with my kids long after they've outgrown this show.

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Mom shares clever twist on the classic babysitting swap for more date-nights and nights off

Everyone wins with this method—even the kids.

abigaellanai/Instagram

This is truly a gamechanger.

Date nights are important for any couple with kids. But they can be hard to come by if you don't have lots of family nearby or have infinite money for, and access to, trustworthy babysitters. Enter the babysitting swap! It's a popular concept where couples with kids will take turns "swapping" babysitting duties with other couples they know so each can enjoy the occasional date night.

My wife and I have done this with friends, and it's great! It's free and it gives your kids a chance to play with their friends. But it does come with a few logistical challenges. Like the fact that two sets of children from different families will have different bedtime routines and needs. It can also be a lot of work for the babysitting couple to take care of twice the number of children, and then to have to navigate the different nighttime needs of both sets of kids all on their own.

Mom Abigael Lanai thinks she's 'cracked the code' behind the perfect babysitting swap.

As she explains in an Instagram reel, here's how it differs from your usual swap:

First, it starts later. In this version, the babysitting couple shows up for duty after the parents have already put their own kids to bed in their own rooms. So it means date night has a delayed start, but the kids get their own bedtime with their own parents which (hopefully) goes off without a hitch. And the babysitting couple just has to act as "warm bodies" in case of emergency—so, in most cases, they won't have to do much work.

You might be thinking, it only takes one person to be a warm body! And where are the other kids during all this? Now this is the twist! In Abigael's example, she goes over to her friend's house to "warmbodysit" by herself while her husband stays home and puts their kids to bed. Now, Abigael can relax on her own and watch Netflix or read on the couch, while her husband can enjoy a night to himself at home playing video games or whatever husbands like to do. And all the while, the other couple is out on a date.

“He’s getting a night to himself to play video games ... they’re on a date ... I am chilling on their couch, I’m going to watch their Netflix, I get a night off from doing my kid’s bedtime routine and watch whatever trash reality TV that I want," Abigael says. "It’s a win for everybody.”

Actually this is pretty much what Michael Scott would call a win-win-win.


gif of Michael Scott air-drummingthe office drum GIFGiphy

You can watch Abigael's full explanation here:

People had a lot of opinions on Abigael's secret recipe for more date nights and nights off. Most loved the idea.

Abigael's video went viral on Instagram to the tune of over 100,000 Likes and 2.5 million views. Her advice was a huge hit with moms who are desperate for more relaxing time in their lives.

"This is the 'village' I wish I had," one user wrote.

"As a mom who doesn’t really do well with other people’s kids, this would be a great option for me. I like the idea of not actually having to babysit, but just being the responsible adult in case of emergencies. I can do that," another said.

Commenters also had a few misconceptions about the method. The first being "This isn't a night off if you're taking care of other people's kids." But remember, the idea of warmbodysitting is that you won't have to do anything unless there's an emergency or the kids wake up! They're already asleep when you show up and, most of the time, moms like Abigael who warmbodysit for friends just hang out and watch TV. Sounds like a night off to me.

The second misconception was that the dads are getting off too easy in this arrangement. "He just gets to play video games while you do all the work?!" Don't forget that if dad stays back at home, he's putting his own kids down and doing bedtime at the house solo. So he's putting in plenty of work before he gets to relax.

gif of babysitter telling child, "By the way, you're actually my favorite kid I babysit for." Kid Babysitter GIF by HalloweenGiphy

Others brought up a more-than-fair point: Communities of friends and families helping to care for each other's kids shouldn't be unusual or even interesting. It should be the norm, and in some communities, it already is.

"This truly shows how little community at large is valued in mainstream (read: white) culture because this is a pretty reasonable and normal thing I have always seen done in my various communities. It’s sad that it’s ‘revolutionary’," a user wrote.

Now, this approach won't work for everyone. If your kids are in a phase where they're waking up a lot, it could be a problem. But luckily there are lots of different set ups you can explore to see what might work for you, your kids, and your lifestyle.

Here are some other popular versions of babysitting swaps that can also be lifesavers — and marriage savers.

The daytime swap. In this version, Couple A goes out on a date while Couple B watches the kids, but just for a few hours during the day. Couple B just has to supervise a big play date, no stressful bedtime stuff necessary. Some people love being the babysitting couple in this scenario because, with the kids so pre-occupied playing with each other, mom and dad can get a ton of stuff done around the house.

The multi-family swap. If you can involve three or four different families, you'll have more kids in the mix but also more capable adults to help watch them. A four-family setup works well, with two couples going out and two couples watching all the kiddos. Plus, it's way more fun for the babysitting couple if they have friends there to socialize with while they're supervising.

The moms- or dads-only swap. Date nights don't have to be just for couples! A great way to get extra social time with your friends who are parents is for the dads to stay home with the kids while the moms go out together, or vice versa. It works great when all four people in the couples are great individual friends as well.

Parents need quality time with their kids, spouse, and friends—plus time spent alone to enjoy whatever they like doing. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to get them all! We need to be so much better at leaning on, and supporting, our community of parents so that we can at least attempt to fill our cups with the social, romantic, and alone time we need. Abigael's version is just one of many that give us a fighting chance.

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