jokes

Dale Carnegie famously quipped in his 1936 book "How to Win Friends and Influence People," “Remember that a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” This adage is proven true whenever someone mispronounces someone's name, creating an uncomfortable but often hilarious situation.

An English woman named Tabitha, who goes by Tabby, shared a funny story recently where someone got mad at her mother because, with her thick accent, she sounded like she was calling her daughter “Tubby,” which would be a terrible thing for a mom to do. So, Tabby asked other people to share their funny stories of having their name (or their dog’s) mispronounced.

The stories are funny, but they’re also a reminder that from time to time, just about all of us can screw up somebody’s name and that it’s ok to laugh it off if yours is the one that gets mangled. But you still have to wonder what some of these people had stuck in their ears to mishear a name so badly.

Here are 17 of the funniest times someone mispronounced a name.

1. Heather

"Ordered a pizza in French from a small local restaurant here in Quebec, I have a very difficult name for francophones to pronounce and I guess it wasn't clear over the phone. When I went to pick up and asked for the pizza for 'Heather' the lady was like OHHHH, HEATHER!! and handed me a pizza with 'Gisèle??' written on the box."

2. Ham-Butt the Dog

"I met a friendly couple and their friendly dogs. I asked for the dogs' names. The poodle was Toby, the french bulldog was Ham-Butt. I was delighted. This is the best name for a French bulldog ever. My wife walked up as I was petting these puppos. I was still riding high on the glory of such a perfectly matched name. I said: 'Babe babe babe, meet these dogs! This is Toby and this....(pause for dramatic effect) is Ham-Butt.' My wife was delighted. The friendly couple frowned in a confused way and then said: 'His name is Hamlet.' I was very disappointed."

3. Hor-rible

"My last name starts with the syllable 'Hor-'. One of the doctors I work with is an older Indian woman and likes to call people she considers friends by their last name. She was working with a resident and needed help so she literally just shouted 'WHORE' across the lab. The resident was mortified, but the boys in high school definitely said worse, so I just laughed."

4. Patty

"My mom’s name is Patricia and she has always been called Patty. When she was young, her and her family (including 3 older siblings) traveled to French Canada. A woman raved about how beautiful her name was 'Oh Potty, what a beautiful name!' My mom is now 64 and still gets called Potty every now and then."

5. Kevin

"I have a friend named Kevin. He and I went to lunch in a food court near work once, and they asked his name. When he told her, the lady taking his order responded 'that's a beautiful name!' His reaction was '..thanks?' and we kinda laughed it off. I mean, it's a common enough name, and it's not exactly what I'd consider 'beautiful.' Then we got his food and she had written his name as 'Heaven.'"

6. Daisy

"A nurse asked what our baby’s name was at her first doctor's appointment, and we said, Daisy. English is her second language and maybe she wasn’t expecting this name, but she looked a little shocked and asked us how to spell it. Soon, we realized she thought we said Jaisy... or maybe Jay-Z? I give her credit for not looking more horrified that we named our daughter Jay-Z."

7. Another great dog story

"I have a dog one: We are fostering a boy named Ranger...my 92-year-old grandma thinks his name is Reindeer."

8. Felicity

"Not an accent thing, but more like a pronunciation/not listening thing: but my daughter’s name is Felicity (pronounced exactly as Felicity is pronounced lol) and I have had people give me weird weird looks and go 'Velocity?' 'Facility?' 'Fallacy?' Here I thought I picked a totally normal, easy to say and spell name.... and now my daughter is stuck being called Velocity lol."

9. Fox

"My firstborn child turned 2 just two weeks before her little brother was born, so her enunciation wasn’t that great yet. We named the baby Fox. For a solid 6 months it sounded like my daughter was calling my son F!ck. 'Oh, f!ck! You’re awake!' 'I love baby f!ck!' Yep."

10. Rebecca

"I used to work for a hearing aid center, so I mostly spoke to old and hard-of-hearing people. I was always careful with the volume, speed, and pitch of my voice. We had this one sweet old lady client. I would call and say 'Hi, this is Rebecca from <company> calling to confirm your appointment.' She’d reply “Oh, hi, Beatrice! I’ll be there!” I never bothered to correct her, mostly because it was cute and didn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Until one day, my coworker asked why she kept calling me Beatrice. The poor woman was embarrassed and didn’t know how she’d gotten my name so wrong! She’d never even known a Beatrice!"

11. Naughty Maureen

"I have a super nasal voice. At Starbucks, when I’ve said my name is Maureen, I’ve heard 'Morning,' 'Maury,' but once.... the dude had me repeat like 12 times and seemed to struggle writing it. He had written 'Horny.'"

12. Oh no, Annie

"It sounds contrived, but I swear this is exactly how it went down. My sixth-grade math teacher had a habit of calling students by the first letter of their name, followed by the first syllable of their last name. For instance, Kaiden Jackson would be K Jack, or Bailey Wellington would be B Well. No idea why he did it, but that was the nickname he'd use every once in a while to refer to any one of us. I've changed her name slightly, but it still works. He used this nickname technique on Annie Holsgrove. Yeah. He called an 11-year-old a-hole."

13. Jamorphus

"My husband and I have been around so many unique and uncommon names that nothing really phases us. So we never even thought about it when he had an appointment with 'Jamorphus.' They talked on the phone a few times, and he always asked for Jamorphus, and then eventually, they met, and he gave me the paperwork after, and I saw it was 'Joseph (Joe) Morfis' (not real spelling or anything). But we still laugh about it, and it's been like 10 years."

14. Clark

"My sweet brother Clark had a minor speech impediment as a kid. It resulted in lots of people thinking his name was 'Clock.' He still enunciates his name extremely carefully to make sure people don’t think he’s named after a timepiece."

15. Kyana

"Hi, I'm Kyana. Literally everyone: nice to meet you, Rihanna And this is why I hate Rihanna. I also get kenya a lot( really don't understand that one). Absolute favorite. Old lady at work can never remember my name and will literally call me anything with a k. One time she needed me and I let her loudly yell for Kahlua 4 times across the room before I asked her who she was trying to talk to."

16. Dennis on tap

"My ex-boyfriend ordered a pizza over the phone. When we got to the place to pick up the pizza, there was much confusion over our order. Finally, we got our food. The name they put on the box was 'Guiness.' My boyfriend's name is Dennis."

17. Tobi

"Freshman year of college I was going by Tobi, a name I no longer use. Ordered lunch at the on-campus diner, and the dude taking orders misheard and wrote 'Doobie' on the ticket. Yes, like that kind of Doobie.... The lady calling orders wouldn't even say it. I watched her look at the ticket, sigh very deeply, and call the order number instead. Walked up laughing and the first thing she said was, 'You're name's not Doobie, right? Please tell me it's not f*cking Doobie.' She was very relieved to learn that it wasn't."