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Joy

A man in Japan rents out his friendship by the hour–no strings attached–and he's making a fortune

"Wanna grab a beer at the bar? He's in."

Photo by Victoriano Izquierdo on Unsplash

A man and woman walk on the road.

His name is Shoji, AKA "The Do Nothing Guy," and if you're in Tokyo and looking for someone to quietly read a book with in a park, he's your guy. That is, if you have an extra hundred to spare.

Sometimes positive innovation is born from serious matters. Recently, many mental health advocates have warned of a loneliness epidemic as people readapted to getting out of a worldwide lockdown. But whether that's your affliction or not, sometimes you just want a buddy by your side while you go to the grocery store–or, better yet, when you're snooping through your husband's phone.

Travel writer Drew Binsky explains how it works. From his YouTube page: "There is a man in Tokyo named Shoji Morimoto, and he makes a full-time living by literally 'doing nothing.' If you pay $100, you can rent him for a few hours, and he will join you around Tokyo to be your companion."

He gives examples. "Want to grab a beer at the bar? He's in. Want to read a book in the park? He's in. Want to relax at home? He's in. Even though this was one of the strangest experiences I've ever had–it's actually a pretty neat concept."

Drew shares a video of trying out the service with the hopes of making Shoji an actual "real friend" by the end of the day. Drew and his friend, a Japanese translator, meet Shoji at the train station and discuss what kind of food he likes. Shoji mostly just nods and follows behind them, which Drew describes as "strange and awkward."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As they gobble up some Udon noodles, Drew tries to make small talk, which is translated. They find out that–while it's not an official number–he has about 1,000 clients per year who use his "do nothing" service. It's also confirmed he's the "first guy who started doing this," but there are many others who are attempting to follow his lead.

Interestingly, Shoji is pretty much up for anything, as long as it's not romantic, sexual, or illegal. He describes one woman who broke pieces of paper into rice-sized bites and merely wanted him to watch her "eating the paper." He found this "funny."

After spending some time together, Drew relays that he's starting to get why this is so popular. "In Japan," he says in a voiceover atop a photo of a busy Tokyo street, "There is a term called Hikikomori, which refers to people who withdraw from the world and isolate at home due to loneliness and social anxiety." While renting a friend might seem like a temporary fix to a pretty heavy wound, it certainly seems to help stop the proverbial bleeding. And sometimes it's just fun.

Tokyo, shoji, rent a friend, companions, friendshipRainy Tokyo street at nighttime. Photo by Valentin BEAUVAIS on Unsplash

They continue their day visiting an arcade, McDonald’s, and the post office. At one point, Drew gets a tiny laugh out of Shoji and hopes maybe that's his "in" for real friendship. It's translated that Shoji likes the TV show Desperate Housewives, the movie Back to the Future, and Michael Jackson. Many friendships have been built on way less.

In Drew's summation, the experience was interesting, but he seems disappointed that they couldn't get much out of Shoji. When asked what he thought of the experience, Shoji stayed on-brand and answered, "Nothing," while money was exchanged.

But some in the YouTube comments are frustrated by Drew and feel he missed the point. One person writes, "I feel like the point of him is being missed. He's not there to be an interactive friend. He's there to accompany people in places where being alone can be a stigma, like going to a bar or restaurant you really want to visit but have no friends available to go or you don't feel comfortable going alone for fear of mockery etc. He is meant to offer no judgment, opinion, or even safety – just there to make you look like you have a friend."

Shoji has thoughts on the matter too. Asia Grace writes in a The New York Poststory, "In his 2023 memoir Rental Person Who Does Nothing, Morimoto recalled being hired to watch a woman snoop through her husband’s secret online dating profiles. 'She screamed (like in her DM) every 10 minutes or so,' wrote Morimoto. 'At one stage, she made a mistake with an app, clicking ‘Like’ for a man she wanted to skip through.'"

He makes about $80,000 a year, and this has inspired others to attempt his business model. Grace shares that a 25-year-old in the West Village, Isabella Epstein, also has a similar side hustle. "The genius Gen Z makes dinner reservations at swank NYC hotspots and invites random gals online to join her for a bite."

Sometimes a table of strangers is better than a table of one.

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Health

How Japan's '80%' philosophy of eating may help us all be healthier

It's not about losing weight, though that may be a byproduct.

Photo credit: Canva

Japanese food tends to be healthy, but there's more to healthy eating than the food itself.

Many Americans were told to "clean your plate" growing up, meaning to eat everything you were served at mealtime. To leave food on your plate was considered rude, ungrateful or otherwise undesirable behavior, and the habit of eating everything in front of you became ingrained.

Kids raised in Japan may have been brought up with an entirely different philosophy, one that tells them to stop eating before they are full. It's called hara hachi bu (or sometimes hara hachi bun me).

Stop eating when you're 80% full

Hara hachi bu literally translates to "belly 80% full" and on it's face that's literally what it means—stop eating when your stomach feels 80% full. Asako Miyashita, RDN, a New York-based dietitian who grew up in Japan, told Women's Health that the phrase comes from a 300-year-old book by Japanese philosopher and botanist Ekiken Kaibara, "Yojokun: Life Lessons From A Samurai." The book is about listening to your body, and its author lived to 83, which was a remarkably long life at a time when the life expectancy in Japan was 50.

Fast forward to today, and the people of Okinawa, Japan, where hara hachi bu is a popular phrase, have some of the longest life expectancies on Earth. But can eating only until you're 80% full actually help you live longer?

It's possible. One reason may be calorie restriction. According to longevity researcher Dan Buettner, Okinawans eat about 1,900 calories per day on average. Compare that to Americans who eat over 3,500 calories per day on average. Caloric restriction has been shown to increase the lifespan of multiple animal species and has also been shown to slow the aging process in healthy human adults, so simply not pushing our caloric intake by filling our bellies all the way full may be something to consider if we're looking to live a long life.

Hara hachi bu encouraged mindful eating

Another benefit of the 80% full idea is that it forces you to be mindful about how your body's feeling while you're eating, which may contribute to better physical health. According to Harvard University, mindless or distracted eating—the opposite of mindful eating—is associated with anxiety, overeating, and weight gain.

"Hara hachi bu is not a diet, but a lifestyle that can help promote a sustainable approach to eating," dietician Kouka Webb, RN, told Women's Health. "It encourages mindful eating and portion control without the need for strict calorie counting or eliminating certain food groups."

family eating dinner in JapanA family eats dinner in Japan.Photo credit: Canva

Harvard shares that a literature review of 68 intervention and observational studies found that mindfulness and mindful eating slowed down the pace of people's eating and improved people's recognition of when they were full. Mindful eating also reduced binge eating and emotional eating.

Overeating can lead to weight gain, of course, but it can also disrupt your hunger regulation, increase your risk for certain types of disease, cause stomach issues like nausea, gas and bloating, and can even impair your brain function. If you stop eating when you're 80% full means you're far less likely to overeat.

But does that mean you're always left 20% hungry? Not necessarily. According to the Cleveland Clinic, it takes up to 30 minutes for your brain to actually process that your stomach is full, so if you stop when you feel 80% full, you'll most likely feel 100% full just a short while later.

Eat until you're not hungry, not until you're full

“There’s a huge gap between being physically satisfied and realizing in your mind that you’re full,” psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD. tells the Cleveland Clinic. “The connection between them is more like old-school dialup speed than instantaneous WiFi.”

Eating to 80% full is probably closer to the "eat until you're no longer hungry" advice that she gives her patients to feel satiated without actually feeling "full."

“When we think about the word ‘full,’ it’s often like filling up a cup or occupying every inch of a space,” Dr. Albers says. “But the fullness that we can feel and perceive in our stomachs is often being overly full. ‘Satiated’ is different, though. Satiated is meeting a need.”

As Buettner writes, "There is a significant calorie gap between when an American says, ‘I’m full’ and an Okinawan says, ‘I’m no longer hungry.’"

Of course, the traditional Japanese diet also tends to be quite healthy in terms of what they eat, but mindful eating, paying attention to how your stomach feels and stopping before getting full, is worth applying no matter what cuisine you're eating. Next time you sit down for a meal, give hara hachi bu a try and see how you feel. It definitely can't hurt.

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Love Stories

Husband spends 2 years planting thousands of flowers to bring his blind wife joy

Husband plants thousands of flowers for his blind wife to smell.

Youtube

Flowers are a great way to express your feelings for someone. Red roses say, "I love you," but a whole garden of pink flowers screams it. One husband took the romantic gesture of getting your wife flowers to the next level.

Mr. and Mrs. Kuroki got married in 1956, and Mrs. Kuroki joined her husband on his dairy farm in Shintomi, Japan, The Telegraph reports. The couple lived a full life and had two kids. After 30 years of marriage, the couple planned on retiring and traveling around Japan, but those plans were soon dashed.

When she was 52, Mrs. Kuroki lost her vision due to complications from diabetes. Her blindness hit her hard, and she began staying inside all day. Mr. Kuroki knew his wife was depressed and wanted to do something to cheer her up.

Mr. Kuroki noticed some people stopping to admire his small garden of pink shibazakura flowers (also known as moss phlox) and got an idea. He couldn't take his wife to see the world, so he had to make the world come to his wife.

Mr. Kuroki decided to plant more of the flowers in his garden, hoping they would attract more visitors and cheer up his wife. He knew she wouldn't be able to see them, but she would be able to smell them, and their pleasant aroma might bring her some joy. Mr. Kuroki spent two years planting thousands of flowers just so he could put a smile on his wife's face.

光失った妻に芝桜を 黒木敏幸さんと靖子さん夫妻 宮崎www.youtube.com

The plan worked and the stunning garden began drawing visitors to the location. A decade after Mr. Kuroki first planted the garden, the amazing love story behind it has turned the dairy farm in rural Japan into a major tourist attraction.

The garden draws up to 7,000 people a day when the flowers are in bloom in March and April. Their cowshed, which once held 60 cows, has been turned into a display telling their love story. Most importantly, Mrs. Kuroki loves the visitors and can be seen walking around the garden and smiling.

You can visit Mr. and Mrs. Kuroki's flowers with your significant other, but they better be prepared to answer questions as to why they've never done anything like that for you.


This article originally appeared on 7.18.19

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Yale psychologist says this simple mindset change can help you live 7.5 years longer

Aging is all in the mind.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

An older woman spending time with her daughter.

Folks with a positive attitude about getting older often say, “Age ain’t nothing but a number.” But according to Yale professor Becca Levy, the more accurate philosophy should be, “Age ain’t nothing but an attitude.”

According to Levy’s work, developing the correct attitude about aging can help increase our lifespans. The problem is that ageism is embedded deeply into Western culture. For example, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of an older person? The most common answer in the U.S. is “memory loss.” However, in China, it’s “wisdom.”

The average life expectancy in China is 78.2 years, compared to 77.5 in the U.S. Japan has one of the highest life expectancies in the world, at 85.2 years, and a lot of that has to do with the country's attitudes towards aging.

“[Levy] noticed that in Japan, old age is treated as a time to enjoy rather than to fear," a Yale School of Public Health article examining her career said. “The Japanese don't make a lot of fuss about menopause, for example, treating it as a valued phase of life, unlike in the U.S. where it is sometimes treated like a midlife affliction,” Levy said. “As a result, older Japanese women are less likely to experience hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause than women of the same age in the U.S."

via Tristan Le/Pexels

How does a positive attitude affect longevity?

Levy’s research led to a landmark 23-year study in which she and her team found that those with a positive view about aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those without.

The study looked at responses that 660 older people in a small town in Ohio gave to a survey about their attitudes toward aging. It found that those with positive attitudes toward aging had a greater lust for life, positively affecting their longevity. It also found that when people encounter negative stereotypes associated with aging, they have an adverse cardiovascular response to stress.

"Our study carries two messages. The discouraging one is that negative self-perceptions can diminish life expectancy; the encouraging one is that positive self-perceptions can prolong life expectancy," say the authors.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

How to have a positive attitude about aging

Eric Kim, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia and Hannah Giasson from the University of Michigan’s Department of Psychology shared four ways people can improve their attitudes towards aging with the American Heart Association.

1. Maintain a sense of purpose

"People's purposes can be quite different," Kim said. If your family is a high priority, find ways to help out your loved ones. If you're passionate about the environment, find an organization that allows you to give back. “Volunteer work is a great way to [have a sense of purpose]," he said.

2. Reject negative messages about aging

"Develop an awareness of these messages," Giasson suggests. “Understand how they influence us." Rejecting negative ideas about aging, such as the idea that disease is inevitable, gives us more reason to care for our health and feel we have control over our future.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

3. Stay socially active

People may lose loved ones as they age and social isolation is a big problem. Loneliness increases the risks of heart attacks, strokes, depression and low self-esteem. However, positive social connections can have a positive effect on health.

4. Try something new

People often stop doing activities they enjoyed when they were younger because they lack the physical ability. "Don't fall into the mindset that it's too late to try something new," Giasson said. “It's never too late, and you're never too old to explore new interests."


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