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"How to use a printer" satire perfectly captures our frustration with modern technology

There's a word for why everything that should be awesome by now seems to be getting worse.

Canva Photos

Home printers are incredibly frustrating to use, and they aren't getting better.

Anyone who has ever printed a document at home knows the inevitable rage of dealing with your standard home-office inkjet printer. They're clunky, unreliable, and prone to a litany of problems—everything from drivers to ink cartridges to the WIFI is bound to malfunction at some point. And without a usable interface, they're extremely difficult to troubleshoot on your own.

The problem with printers is that they have been around since at least the 80s. And while the technology has improved in some ways, they remain incredibly buggy and difficult, and printer manufacturers have found infuriating ways to make them even more annoying and expensive to use. (Ink cartridge subscriptions, anyone?)

office space, printer, printers, home office, technology, profitsThe boys from Office Space knew how to handle wayward printers.Giphy

But YouTuber Gus Johnson is here to help. He's created a perfectly simple guide for anyone who wants to get their printer set up and begin printing documents. Let's go!

First, Johnson walks us through how to make sure our printer is turned on. It's on? OK, great! Now we're ready to print—well, after the printer installs the 18 mandatory driver updates.

Once those are all done, it's time to print. Except it turns out the ink is low—well, not low, but low-ish, which means the printer won't print until you replace all of the cartridges. And no, you are not allowed to print in black and white if your magenta is low, just so you know.

The cartridges, by the way, are not compatible between printers and often not reliably sold in stores. So, Johnson shows us how to order them online and then wait. Days later, now we're ready to print! Well, after one more new cartridge update installs, and of course given that you can figure out how to get your supposedly "wireless printer" to talk to your laptop.

Johnson's video is a gut-busting watch for anyone who's grappled with a home printer and been tempted to pull an Office Space on it with a hefty baseball bat. Watch the whole thing here:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Printers are a really complicated piece of technology. But that shouldn't let them off the hook. Most of the problems spoofed in Johnson's video are solvable. And that's exactly the larger issue.

The Wirecutter writes that "there is some amazingly complicated technology in your printer, including the printheads, the ink, and the mapping software. You take your printer for granted, but that box can cover a piece of paper in millions of dots of precisely located, color-matched ink in a few seconds," and that most manufacturers take a loss on the actual machinery of a printer, hoping to recoup the earnings via ink sales later down the road.

If printers were the only piece of technology that seem to get worse and worse, bleeding us for more and more money while offering a rapidly deteriorating product, maybe we'd be willing to spare a few tears for the poor manufacturers. But this is a global problem affecting practically everything we touch—from social media, streaming content, journalism, and even restaurants. We pay more or the same for something that doesn't ever get any better, and often gets worse!

There's a term for this phenomenon. It's officially called "enshittification," or platform decay.

Writer Cory Doctrow, who coined the term, describes the pattern like this: "Here is how platforms die: first, they are good to their users; then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers; finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die."

Bill Maher described Silicon Valley's approach to technology as, "If it ain't broke, f*ck with it."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Doctrow even mentioned printers specifically in a recent Medium post:

"They make printer-scanners that won’t scan unless all four ink cartridges are installed and haven’t reached their best-before dates. They make printers that won’t print black and white if your $50 magenta cartridge is low. They sell you printers with special half-full cartridges that need to be replaced pretty much as soon as the printer has run off its mandatory 'calibration' pages. The full-serving ink you buy to replace those special demitasse cartridges is also booby-trapped — HP reports them as empty when they’re still 20% full. ... HP tricks customers into signing up for irrevocable subscriptions where you have to pay every month, whether or not you print, and if you exceed your subscription cap, the printer refuses to work, no matter how much ink is left."

Ink is outrageously expensive, but the printer companies exploit copyright laws to make sure you can't buy third party cartridges. When that fails, they push out security updates that break compatibility with anything but their own ink cartridges. These kinds of offenses go on and on.

In other words, long ago it was very exciting that we were able to print our own documents at home. Initial innovations focused on making that process better and better. But we're long past that now and the problems with most home printers will probably remain forever, or as long as manufacturers think they can keep squeezing our wallets. They're not really incentivized to make a printer that actually uses 100% of an ink cartridge or reliably connects to WIFI—they just want to make sure we buy the next one.

Johnson's YouTube rant is so funny precisely because it's true, but also because it finds humor in the frustration we all share at this cycle of enshittification. If we can't get our $300 printer to reliably spit out a basic black and white document, at least we can all laugh at our shared misery.

Two for dinner?

One man from the Detroit area put his quarantine creativity to great use. James Vreeland used his newfound free time to, as he put it on Instagram, "get into the restaurant game."

He did that, of course, by building an entire tiny restaurant in his yard specifically for squirrels. It's hilarious and also weirdly very impressive.



It's an open-air concept with communal picnic-style tables and natural grass floors, which really brings a sense of connection to the earth and the source of the squirrel food. It's a brilliant design.

It's called Maison de Noix, or "The Nut House" in English, and it's the newest, hottest neighborhood spot that all the squirrels are chattering about. If they didn't have to social distance, there would be lines out on the sidewalk every day to get a table. It's very exclusive.

communal, neighborhood, creativity

A picnic style lay out for the squirrel restaurant.

James Vreeland/Instagram

It has a tiny coat rack with wire hangers for squirrel jackets and everything! And even though the restaurant is aimed at its squirrel patrons, it's open to all sorts of creatures. James said that the blue jays in the area are also loving the new place.

Not only did James build an innovative restaurant, but his menu is like nothing I've ever seen. It's so diverse, and yet, so streamlined. And don't worry; he's printed out the menu and stationed it at the front of the restaurant for those who might be interested.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

menus, nuts, comedy, nut house

What’s on the menu?

James Vreeland/Instagram

So simple, yet so sophisticated, you know? A mixed seed trio! How intriguing. And you can't go wrong with stale bread or pizza crust. I appreciate that the chef leads with what he has on hand and fresh (I mean, stale) that day, instead of shoehorning out-of-season ingredients into a year-round menu.

Raw peanuts on the shell are a known squirrel favorite, and counter-softened apples, well, that's an application you don't see very often, mainly because they're so hard to get just right. But I have faith in the kitchen staff of Maison de Noix.

peanuts, Facebook Live, shaky cam, streaming

Business is nutty.

James Vreeland/Instagram

For a brand new restaurant that opened during a global pandemic, Maison de Noix is doing very well. It helps when you are the only restaurant that caters to squirrels in the whole United States. They really cornered the market.

He has even started doing Facebook Live videos that are just a live stream of the restaurant. You can tune in each day to see the animals stop by. At one point during the last live stream, James commented, "Sorry for the shaky cam — there is a bluejay sitting on the camera."

A time-lapse of the "brunch rush" can be found on his Instagram, and it's just delightful. This whole venture is just entirely lovely, and I thank James for his efforts. I hope things like squirrel restaurants don't go away once the pandemic ends. We need them now, and we'll need them then.


This article originally appeared on 4.5.20

Cavemen must have been perpetually late, given that humans didn't get around to inventing the sundial until 1500 BCE. The first attempts at measuring time via sun movement were shadow clocks created by the Egyptians and Babylonians. These led to the sundial, an instrument that tells time by measuring shadows cast by the sun on a dial plate. Sundials were our preferred method of timekeeping until the mechanical clock was invented in 14th-century Europe.

Photo via (cc) Flickr user Sara Bogush

In 1972, Hamilton introduced the world's first digital watch. Its $2,000 price tag was hefty, but by the '80s, digital watches became affordable for the average person. Now, both technologies have merged in a cool invention, the digital sundial. Created by French Etsy seller Mojoptix, this outdoor clock uses the patterns on a suspended wand to mold natural shadows into a digital-looking time readout. The digital sundial has two major drawbacks: It only reports the time in 20-minute intervals, and it's not very effective after sundown. But it sure does look cool.

Here's the digital sundial in action!

This article first appeared on 9.15.17.

Science

People are sharing things they would 'dis-invent' if they could, and it's food for thought

Even the inventors themselves regretted making some of these things.

Photos by Jisu Han on Unsplash (left) and Renz Macorol on Pexels (right)

Some things haven't turned into the great inventions they were meant to be.

Humanity is amazing, truly. The way we're continually advancing in nearly every arena of learning, the scientific discoveries we've made, the technologies we've created, the innovative improvements that are constantly being made—it's all quite remarkable.

But in all of this forward movement, we haven't alway struck a healthy balance. Technological and scientific advancements are only a net positive when they are tempered with wisdom, thoughtfulness and conscientiousness of the greater good, and there are notable times when those virtues have been lacking.j

Reddit user /leo_78 asked, "If you could dis-invent something, what would it be?" and people's responses highlight how vital it is to think about the consequences of innovations and inventions before they get put out into the world. (In fact, as we'll see, some of the people who came up with these inventions even regretted it later.)


In no particular order, here are some of the top answers:

1. Pop-up ads

"The creator of them even apologized creating them." – ChefExcellent13

"I remember when they went away for a bit and then made a resurgence with mobile. Trying going to any website now that sells something and give it 2-3 secs and you have a “Want 15% off?!” Pop up. Infuriating." – drhiggs

"Any intrusive ads really. Usually when I'm watching Twitch, there will be ads randomly playing right in the middle of the actions/fun parts." – Claudia-Roelands

2. Household appliances tied to subscription services

"We're looking at YOU, H.P.!" – SuperEP1C-FA1L-GUY

"Yo, wait, wtf? When did this happen? You telling me I have to pay $9.95 a month or something so that my dishwasher works? I'm so confused." – Parada484

"A friend of mine had a CPAP that would stop working if you stopped paying. She's dead now. Those two things are not directly related but her health issues that led to her death were certainly not helped by her sleep apnea." – PixelOrange

"Yo, what? I'm hacking anything that comes into my house so that it's dumb as rocks, I don't need super intelligent robots, I want dumb hammers hammering away at dumb nails." – TheUnkindledLives

3. Coffee pods

"Coffee Pods -- they are disgustingly wasteful." – Anim8nFool

"The k-cup inventor regrets how much extra trash they cause." – LittleOrangeBoi (It's true, he does.)

"I won a Keurig through a work raffle. I already hated the idea of it and did some research. The guy sold all his shares in the company before it took off. He tried making reusable ones but Keurig got all legal on his ass before there was enough pressure for them to make their own, but most people just use the disposable ones anyway.

In 2015, enough k-cups were made (and dumped into landfills) to wrap around the planet over 10 fucking times. What an environmental disaster.

I donated the machine to a non-profit my wife works with and they are adamant about using reusable k-cups and not the single use pods. Also I don't drink coffee so it was wasted on me anyway." – vonkeswick

4. Landmines

"Landmines. Seriously. They f**k up people long after wars are finished." – NaughtyDaisyDelight

"There’s an estimated 800,000 TONS of unexploded ordnance still in Vietnam, that would take hundreds of years to clear out. For context, the bomb dropped in Hiroshima had a yield of about 15,000 tons of TNT." – Redshift_1

"There is also the so called red zone or zone rouge in France - from Word War 1...

The zone rouge was defined just after the war as "Completely devastated. Damage to properties: 100%. Damage to Agriculture: 100%. Impossible to clean. Human life impossible" (Wikipedia) – Drumbelgalf

"I think it’s the most nefarious war machine ever invented. Infrastructure can be rebuilt, land can heal, people can forget and move on. But landmines are forever until some poor child or civilian steps on them and is maimed or killed. You can argue that nukes are worse, but at least we don’t really use them." – WeatherfordCast

5. Impossible-to-open plastic packaging

"The packages they put scissors in… that you need scissor to open. Wtf?" – AnxiousTelephone2997

"Out of everything you could've chosen you chose this one and I 100% get it.." – waveradium

"i get so many papercuts trying to open that sharp strong plastic sealed packaging." – i4mknight

"I would expand that to all single-use plastic packaging." – boondoggie42


6. On-screen tipping prompts…or just tipping in general

"The tipping option when I check out on those computers at the checkout counter." – PotatoshavePockets

"Maybe tips in general. Just pay people for the work they do." – Euphoric_Wolf7227

"This is getting so bad in Canada the default options are starting at 18% and go as high as 25%. I have to hit "other" to enter the long time cultural standard of 15% nevermind that I'm being prompted this on take out and fast food." – ReeG

"It's so refreshing travelling outside of NA to countries that don't do tipping. You go to a restaurant or to just do stuff and the price is what it actually costs you." – 0neek

People added plenty of other things like child beauty pageants, the 24-hour news cycle, the medical insurance industry, HOAs, vapes, reality television and more.

With most of the things people shared, it seems like someone could have or should have foreseen the problems they would create, which highlights how care and compassion for humanity must be at the forefront of innovation and an integral part of the decision-making process of what gets produced and what doesn't.

What would you add to the dis-invention list?