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hope

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The "keep your fork" tattoo is extremely popular, and for good reason.

People get tattoos for lots of reason. Sometimes, it's to cover themselves in beautiful art that they, and others, can admire every day. Sometimes it's to remember a loved one. Other times, it's so they have a constant, visual reminder of a message that speaks to their heart.

Take, for example, the famous semicolon tattoo. Why a semicolon? It stands in stark contrast to a period, which ends a sentence or a story. The semicolon speak to a story that is not yet over, that is to be continued. It's commonly used by suicide survivors or people who struggle with depression as a reminder of the strength it takes to continue on. There's also the "Lucky Few" tattoo, which denotes pride and solitary among parents of children with Down syndrome.

One mom recently noticed a strange tattoo on another woman out in the wild. It was so unique and, seemingly, random that she had to ask what it meant. Prominently displayed on her arm, the woman had a tattoo of...a fork.


 tattoos, ink, body art, mantras, religion, spirituality, semicolon tattoo, lucky few tattoo, fork tattoo, keep your fork Want to get this tattooed permanently on your skin?  Photo by Matt Popovich on Unsplash  

Emily Hawkins shared the encounter in a post on LinkedIn.

Hawkins had been volunteering at her daughter's swim meet when she noticed the interesting ink on a fellow mom. She couldn't resist asking: "What's the story behind the fork?"

The woman answered that the fork tattoo was a reference to the old saying, "Keep your fork."

Imagine, if you will, being a young kid sitting down to family dinner. You've gobbled up all the casserole, eaten all your veggies, and it's time to clear the table. Imagine that maybe your mother is kind enough to come around and take the dirty dishes out of your way. Except, she leans over and whispers, "Keep your fork," with a wink.

The saying implies that something great is coming your way, like an unexpected dessert: a slice of pie or some cake. Think of how excited your little kid brain would be!

The "Keep Your Fork" tattoo is a reminder to feel that joy every day. It symbolizes that, no matter how hard things get in life, something good is just around the corner. Better things are coming your way.

Or, as the woman in Hawkins' story put it, "The best is yet to come."

Read the whole post here:

The woman at the pool was not the first or only person to adopt "Keep Your Fork" as a life mantra or even as a tattoo.

The tale is best-known as a religious parable first published in Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul in 1996. The story goes that a woman dying of cancer asked her pastor to bury her with a fork.

“Well, pastor ... that’s how I think of my death and funeral. What’s coming next is heaven, and it will be so much better than what I’m experiencing now. And I can hardly wait.”

Since then, the fable has adopted many different meanings for many different people. Not everyone who gets the tattoo thinks of it as a symbol of Heaven. Some just view it as a reminder to stay optimistic, that joy and happiness is never out of reach for too long.

Hawkins post struck a powerful nerve with people. Dozens commented to say how much they appreciated the message of hope.

"the way this absolutely devastated and inspired me. <3" wrote Lianna.

"This a great story and reminder that better times are ahead. Thanks for sharing!" said Mark.

"This gave me goosebumps. Not just because of the symbolism, but because of how gentle—and generous—it is to hold space for hope." commented Maha.

Don't underestimate symbolic reminders and mantras that take the form of tattoos. Researchers say tattoos can be powerful ways to process grief, love, trauma, and other strong emotions.

Tattoos are art. The way music, film, and books can move us and change the way we think about the world, so can a seemingly simple illustration on our skin.

It also comes with a lot of planning and personal pain, which only adds to their meaning.

A fork may seem a strange thing to permanently etch onto your arm, especially a big one! But as far as messages to be remembered every moment of every day go, the hope and optimism that the fork represents is one of the best I can think of.

A man in India was considered deceased until his ambulance hit a speed breaker.

A 65-year-old man was declared dead but news of his passing hit a speed bump— literally!

Reported by India Today, Pandurang Ulpe, a senior citizen of Kolhapur, Maharashtra, India, suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. It was there where he was declared dead by his doctors. When Ulpe’s family got the news of his passing, they arranged for his lifeless body to be transported home to be given last rites. That’s when it happened.

As the ambulance drove over a speed breaker on the road, his family looked at the body and noticed something— Ulpe’s fingers moved! Upon noticing this, they alerted the driver and had the ambulance redirect towards the nearest hospital.

At the second hospital, Ulpe received an angioplasty operation and was sent home after a 15-day stay for recovery and observation.

An older man sleeping in a hospital bedA speed bump changed a trip to the morgue to a trip back to a hospitalPhoto credit: Canva

“I had come home from a walk and was sitting after sipping tea. I felt dizzy and breathless,” said Ulpe. “I went to the bathroom and vomited. I don’t remember what happened afterwards, including who took me to the hospital."

Thanks to the alertness of his family, the glimmer of hope upon seeing his fingers twitch, and quick action, Pandurang Ulpe was saved from an early grave. Hope is in short supply, depending on who you talk to. Per recent Gallup polls, just a little over half of Americans see hope in the near future. Thinking negatively is understandable and, for some, instinctual. It helps prevent disappointment or can help better prepare people for legitimate concerns or danger. That’s why insurance was invented, right?

You may think that hope is just wishing for the best or blanket optimism, but according to professor of psychology, Dr. Chan Hellman of the Hope Research Center, that’s just not true. “We often use the word ‘hope’ in place of wishing, like you hope it rains today or you hope someone’s well. But wishing is passive toward a goal and hope is about taking action toward it,” says Hellman.

Remember, Ulpe’s family didn’t just see his fingers move and did nothing while hoping he was still alive. They took action and had the ambulance driver go to another hospital.

Hope doesn’t just provide some spiritual benefits to life but has science to back it up. Per a study posted by Science Direct, hope effectively helped offset anxiety, depression, and despair during the COVID-19 pandemic. There are also studies provided by the National Library of Medicine and the American Psychological Association that suggest that hope can improve a person’s mental health and even create new neural pathways in their mind. These neural pathways not only lead to more resilience to stress in your mind but also access new ways of thinking along with a mentality that welcomes other possible solutions. In short, hope could make you not just feel better, but think better, too.

An x-ray look at the brain thinking, with sparks indicating thought patternsScientific studies show that being hopeful makes you think better.Photo credit: Canva

Having hope isn’t just a lightswitch that you can turn on or off. Hope is a skill that needs to be practiced and honed before it shows its more tangible positive effects. If you’re new to it, don’t be discouraged. Have hope in your hope.

For hope can possibly save lives. That and a second opinion at a different hospital.

A hand holding a note that says "hope"It's better to act with hope, rather than be passive with despair.Photo credit: Canva

Health

She was 15 when men threw acid in her face. They told her she’d be ashamed forever.

ReSurge International helped Muskan Khatun reconstruct her body, and now she’s using her voice to advocate for burn and gender-based violence survivors.

ReSurge International

Muskan Khatun was only 15 when she survived an acid attack in Nepal.

True

When Muskan Khatun was 15 years old, a group of young men started teasing her on her way to school in Nepal. She found it disturbing and uncomfortable, but they wouldn’t stop.

“I finally told my family,” Muskan says. “My dad confronted them, scolded them, and even slapped one of them. After that, they stopped bothering me for about three months.

“Then, one day, when I was heading to school, I saw them again. This time, they had a jug of acid. They tried to make me drink it, but I refused. In anger, they threw the acid on my face, hands, and chest.”

The attackers were arrested, and good samaritans nearby got Muskan to Kirtipur Hospital, where she was treated by local ReSurge surgeon and Country Director, Dr. Shankar Man Rai and his team. Resurge International is a non-profit organization that provides free reconstructive surgical care and trains surgical teams in low-income countries around the world to increase access to care for people who need it, like Muskan. ReSurge’s team in Nepal has treated 141 intentional burn attacks like Muskan’s over the last seven years.

ReSurge helped Muskan take her life back. But that was only the beginning of her story.

ReSurge International

One teen’s perseverance created historic change in the law.

“As I learned more about the laws in my country, I realized the justice system didn’t provide enough protection or punishment for such crimes,” Muskan says.” It felt like a bigger hurt than the acid attack itself. That’s when I decided to raise my voice and work towards changing the laws to ensure justice for others like me.”

Muskan wrote to the Prime Minister just days after her attack, but got no response. So she took her voice to the public. For two years, she courageously shared her story and advocated for better laws.

Finally, the Prime Minister invited her to his residence. He listened to her experiences and legal ideas, and in just 15 days, he passed a law specifically targeting acid attacks. The law also passed in Nepal’s parliament in record time.

“This was the first time in Nepal that a law was passed so swiftly,” Muskan says. “The new law was very strict, including a life sentence for offenders, marking the most severe punishment in Nepal for such crimes.” In 2021 Muskan was awarded the prestigious International Women of Courage (IWOC) Award by the U.S. Secretary of State for her work to end acid attacks.

Muskan Khutan's awardsMuskan has won multiple awards for her advocacy work.Resurge International

Muskan is not alone. Acid attack survivors around the world have raised their voices to get laws changed—but that’s not the only battle they’re fighting.

Constructing laws is one thing. Reconstructing your burned body is another.

Chemical burns leave survivors with painful scar contractures that restrict movement over the affected areas, forcing them to also relive their trauma every time they look in the mirror or field questions from people about what happened to them. However, burn scars require specialized surgical care, which often isn’t readily available or affordable in most low-income countries.

That’s where ReSurge International comes in.

With a conservative estimate of 10,000 acid attacks each year (many countries don’t keep official records of acid attacks and an estimated 40% of attacks go unreported, according to Acid Survivors Trust International), the surgical needs just for intentional burn victims is significant. Additionally, with 80% of acid attack survivors being women, the gender-based violence aspect of the issue cannot be ignored.

But there’s a gap in surgery accessibility between people in high-income nations, where plastic surgery is often viewed as elective and cosmetic, and those in low-income countries, where it more often addresses critical medical needs.

One way ReSurge is closing that gap is by training the next generation of reconstructive surgeons across Africa, Asia and Latin America, in countries where acid attacks are high. Rather than only sending in surgeons from the outside, ReSurge trains and funds local surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, and occupational therapists, focusing on capacity building and prioritizing locally-led solutions with an extra emphasis on training women to close the gender gap in medicine and surgery. Just last year, ReSurge transformed the lives of over 25,000 patients and trained more than 5,000 medical professionals, with 85% of their surgeries being conducted by local partners.

Raising awareness is another way ReSurge is working to ‘close the gap.’

Seeing a potential for a powerful partnership, Resurge orchestrated the first face-to-face meeting between Muskan and fellow acid attack survivor and Woman of Courage Award Winner, Natalia Ponce de León from Colombia, in June of 2024. Like Muskan, Natalia has worked tirelessly to advocate for survivors’ rights and successfully inspired change to her country’s laws. She currently runs a foundation to ensure survivors of chemical attacks get the medical, psychological and legal care they need and deserve. Through the power of mentorship and mutual support, these two remarkable women will be able to increase their reach and amplify the impact of the incredible work they’re already doing.

Muskan Khutan and Natalia Ponce de Le\u00f3nMuskan and Natalia are working together to advocate for acid attack survivors.ReSurge International

Preventing more attacks like the ones that changed Muskan and Natalia’s lives requires a multi-faceted approach, as does care for survivors who are living with the aftermath of such violence. Survivor advocates and organizations like ReSurge International working together to ensure that care is accessible for all is a reminder of what humans can do when we set our sights on solutions and keep striving to implement them in the most effective way possible.


Interested in helping? This giving season, ReSurge is matching every gift for twice the impact. To make a gift to support patients like Muskan, read their stories, and learn more about how ReSurge International is closing the gap to reconstructive surgery, visit resurge.org/closing-the-gap

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Joy

More than optimism: How to cultivate the world-changing power of hope

Optimism is a mindset. Hope is an action-oriented skill—and one that can be honed.

Hope is a skill.

Hope can be hard to find in tough times, and even when we catch a glimmer of hope, it can be hard to hold onto. And yet, the ability to remain hopeful in the face of hardship and adversity is an example of the human spirit we've seen displayed time and time again.

But what exactly is hope? How does hope differ from optimism, and how can we cultivate more of it in our lives?

Cynics may see hope as naive at best and as blind idealism at worst, but according to Thema Bryant, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association, hope is really about staying open to the possibilities.

“Hope isn’t a denial of what is, but a belief that the current situation is not all that can be,” Bryant said, according to the APA. You can recognize something’s wrong, but also that it’s not the end of the story.”


People often think of hope and optimism as the same thing, but there are some key differences between them in the social psychology world. Optimism is a state of mind that sees the future through a positive lens and expects that it will be better than the present. Hope, on the other hand, is action-oriented. It involves having a goal for that positive future and making a concrete plan to move toward it.

“We often use the word ‘hope’ in place of wishing, like you hope it rains today or you hope someone’s well,” said Chan Hellman, PhD, a professor of psychology and founding director of University of Oklahoma's Hope Research Center. “But wishing is passive toward a goal, and hope is about taking action toward it.”

That sense of personal agency is the key difference between someone who is optimistic and someone who is hopeful, as the authors of the study, "Great expectations: A meta-analytic examination of optimism and hope," Gene M. Alarcon, Nathan A. Bowling and Steven Khazon wrote:

"Simply put, the optimistic person believes that somehow—either through luck, the actions of others, or one’s own actions—that his or her future will be successful and fulfilling. The hopeful person, on the other hand, believes specifically in his or her own capability for securing a successful and fulfilling future."

Both hope and optimism require a belief in a better future, but hope puts some of the power to make it happen into our own hands. And while hope and optimism are closely linked, they don't necessarily have to go together. As Arthur Brooks has pointed out, a person can be a hopeless optimist, believing in a better future but feeling helpless to do anything to create it, and a person can also be a hopeful pessimist who takes actions to improve things but still sees the future negatively.

Ideally, one would strive toward being an hopeful optimist. Why? Well, for one, both hope and optimism are good for our health, according to studies done on them. And secondly, hope is what motivates us to act. Without hope, we have a whole lot of people wishing for change but not actually doing anything about it.

But how do you become more hopeful if it doesn't come naturally? How do you hone hope?

An article on Psyche by Emily Esfahani Smith shared study findings on how to cultivate hope, which includes:

- Changing the story you tell yourself about adversity, remembering that hard times are temporary

- Focusing on the things you have control over, like your routines, habits and the way you treat other people

- Reframing obstacles as challenges to overcome rather than immovable limitations

- Looking to your past successes instead of your past failures

- Asking yourself what you hope for and then continuing to answer until you find an attainable goal

- Envisioning that goal and mapping out a plan to move towards it

Being hopeful about your own future may feel like a different beast than having hope in humanity's future, but we all have a role to play in creating a better world and hope is the driver strives to make it happen. As Augustine of Hippo allegedly said, "Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are." If we find ourselves angry at the way things are, we need to find the courage to act. The question of what actions to take may remain, but we need the belief and conviction to act that hope provides in order to figure it out.

Most importantly to remember is that hope is a choice. It may not come naturally or easily to everyone, but hope is something we can choose to nurture in ourselves as well as encourage in others.