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high school

Friendship

Woman reconnects with her high school bully and finds out people aren't always who they once seemed

Almost everyone has been bullied. Not even gets to have a surprising reunion.

girl in blue sleeveless dress

Bullies. So many of us had them. Whether it was the subtle "Mean Girls" digs or full-on being shoved into a locker, there was usually that ONE (or three) person in your younger years who made your stomach drop the moment you saw them. They seemed to live to make your life miserable, and all too often, they succeeded.


i know right mean girls GIFGiphy

A woman took to Reddit and asked, "Who got bullied in school/college? Where are your bullies now?"

Great question. As someone who Insta-stalks every single crush I've had since kindergarten, it never occurred to me to look up the people who hadn’t always been so pleasant.

After the OP posed the question, she told her own story. "There was a group of girls, particularly one girl who'd pick on me. Basically, her boyfriend had broken up with her because he had started to like me. So yeah, she'd bully me a lot, and I never had a good relationship with her in school."

But things took a surprising turn somewhat recently! She adds, "…until a year ago, our best friends from school basically cheated on us with each other. (I don't have a better way to explain this, but yeah, we both got abandoned by our best friends.) This left us dealing with a lot of mental issues. During this time, we both connected with each other online and became each other's emotional support."

It gets even better. "She apologized to me for everything she'd done, and I genuinely forgave her. We've become really, really close now, and it makes me happy to think that things turned out this way."

Many Reddit users chimed in to tell their own tales of bullying and updates on their whereabouts. Said bullies' lives reportedly ranged from fabulous and successful (one runs a Fortune 500 company) to not-so-great and possibly current cult members. One person adds a funny observation about hypocrisy: "A lot of them are now 'life coaches' and 'influencers' who talk about loving yourself and being kind. F-ing irony."

woman in pink tank top and blue denim jeans sitting on yellow chair Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

Instead of befriending their bullies, many on the thread have learned to take their power back by simply ignoring them. One shares, "I get repeated follow requests on Instagram from one of them. He passively stalks me. Two years ago, he DM'd me, and I just saw it and screenshot it. Later, he would proceed to like my Instagram stories and photos, and as usual, I kept ignoring him. LMAO."

Looking Good Social Media GIF by TravisGiphy

She says it didn't even occur to her that this was some sort of victory: "I was so much into my own world that it took me a while to realize how some people can perceive this as a victorious/ 'revenge' moment."

And lastly, there's the perspective that comes with age. A Redditor shares that after attending her 25th high school reunion, she saw this group for what they really were:
"It was glaringly obvious. Once they ascertained my station in life, they grudgingly offered some polite greetings, but they couldn't hide their disdain on their faces. From time to time, they checked if they could get away with laughing at something about me. When they couldn't get any reaction, they looked disappointed."

romy and micheles high school reunion GIFGiphy

Education

Instead of rules, this high school teacher created 4 classroom R's that are more effective

A brilliant re-framing of "rules" that empowers students and strengthens character.

There are many ways to manage a classroom, and not all include "rules."

Anyone who has tried to wrangle a classroom of kids knows that it's a formidable feat at any age. Having a group of learners who are engaged, attentive and reasonably courteous is the goal, but managing diverse personalities from various backgrounds and home environments and who have different standards and expectations of behavior can be tricky.

Some teachers take the old-school "law and order" approach, laying out a list of classroom rules everyone is supposed to follow. Those who don't fall in line face consequences of some sort. But high school Language Arts teacher Monte Syrie takes a different tack—one that sees students as valued citizens of a community instead of young people to be controlled.

Syrie, who has been teaching for more than two decades, says he's always striving to make the school year better than the last one. That means regularly reflecting and reevaluating how he communicates with his students, which is how he went from standard classroom rules to reframing them as "Policies and Procedures" to tossing out the concept of "rules" altogether.

Now he offers 4 R's—Roles, Routines, Rights and Responsibilities—as a framework for classroom management.

"I think teachers are framers. We frame the room. We frame the work. We frame the day. We frame the year. We frame the entire experience–whether we want to or not," Syrie shares. "The kids look to us for the frame. What we do–or don’t do–decides the day. And, man oh man, is there pressure in that. But, there’s also possibility–powerful possibility."

Syrie explains in his book about teaching that kids respond differently when teachers frame things differently, and being greeted with classroom rules on day one evokes a specific response in kids.

"We seem to believe if we don’t get rules in front of the kids immediately, we will never get the kids where we want them," he writes. "I don’t believe in this anymore. I did, I suppose, at one point, but at this point, I believed there was a better way to 'get kids.'"

Syrie decided to reframe his classroom policies as as Roles that let kids see themselves through various lenses, Routines that tell them what to expect, Rights that give them individual autonomy and Responsibilities that help them contribute to a shared community.

So what does that look like?

Roles in Syrie's classroom include the roles of Yourself (the most important role, he says), Valued Community Member, Reader, Writer, Mistake Maker, and Reflector. He explains to the students what each of these roles entails and why it's important for kids to take them on.

Routines include daily and weekly activities such as starting class with a community check-in called Smiles and Frowns and ending class with Journey Journaling. Each day of the week also has a specific focus, such as writing, reading or grammar.

Rights include things like, "I have the right to feel safe," "I have the right to learn," and "I have the right to ask as many questions as l want." Syrie also gives students the right to eat and drink in class and the right to make mistakes without fear of penalty.


teacher talking to students in a classroomMonte Syrie talks to a student in one of his classes. Photo credit: Monte Syrie

As for Responsibilities, students have a responsibility to get to class on time, know and honor the class routines, self-regulate use of electronic devices in the classroom, be a great listener, self-regulate leaving the room, take ownership of their learning, and be sensitive and respectful of others' viewpoints, among other things. Students are expected to do their best to fulfill these responsibilities and to handle any breaches (such as being late to class) with courtesy and minimal disruption to the rest of the class. If they are struggling with any of these responsibilities, interventions include reminder(s), conversation(s), parent contact, and as a last and unlikely resort, office referral.

The beauty of Syrie's four R's is that they demonstrate a sense of trust in students right off the bat, helping them see themselves both as responsible individuals and as valued parts of a communal whole. When people feel trusted and valued and are empowered by a clear balance of rights and responsibilities, most tend to rise to the occasion—even when they're in high school. That's not to say that this framing eliminates all classroom management issues, but it's a framework that encourages character development from within the students rather than exerting control from the top down. They'll be able to take this framing through their whole educational career and beyond.

A fellow educator wrote on X, "Love this in so many ways! In these times, this answers 'how can we help learners understand the principles of a democracy?'" Imagine if we all reflected more on our roles, routines, rights and responsibilities as citizens rather than just memorizing the laws we are obliged to follow. Perhaps Mr. Syrie's rethinking and reframing of the educational experience can help us all consider a new framing for our own lives as individuals and community members as well.

You can follow Monte Syrie on X and find his book, "better: A Teacher's Journey: Project 180 Book One," here.


This article originally appeared in August

Joy

A 9-yr-old cheerleader’s veteran dad couldn't help with her routine, so a high schooler ran to her side

Sensing something was wrong, he sprang to action with many witnessing his kind act.

Images from YouTube video.

Addie Rodriguez does her cheer.

Addie Rodriguez was supposed to take the field with her dad during a high school football game, where he, along with other dads, would lift her onto his shoulders for a routine. But Addie's dad was halfway across the country, unable to make the event.

Her father is Abel Rodriguez, a veteran airman who, after tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, was training at Travis Air Force Base in California, 1,700 miles from his family in San Antonio at the time.

"Mom missed the memo it was parent day, and the reason her mom missed the memo was her dad left Wednesday," said Alexis Perry-Rodriguez, Addie's mom. She continued, "It was really heartbreaking to see your daughter standing out there being the only one without their father, knowing why he's away. It's not just an absentee parent. He's serving our country."



But as Addie sat there in front of the game's crowd, with no one to join her on the field, someone ran toward her. That person was Central Catholic High School senior Matthew Garcia, who went to her after realizing she was the only cheerleader without a partner.


Garcia told local news station FOX 29, "I ran down from the bleachers right here, and I just hopped the fence, and I went over, and I kneeled down, I talked to her and I said, 'Are you OK?'"

He then lifted Addie onto his shoulders just like the dads did with their daughters so she could participate in the routine. Many onlookers quickly realized they were witnessing an extraordinary act of kindness, and social media was abuzz:

It may have been a small gesture for Garcia, but as Addie tells it, that little bit of assistance meant the world to her. They posed for a picture after the routine was done, and it's clear this will be one encounter she won't soon forget.

inspiring, culture, mental health, friendship, mentors

Addie Rodriguez and Mathew Garcia.

Images from YouTube video.

"I just felt like somebody saved my life," Addie said, adding, "I thought that's so nice, especially since my dad's serving for us.”

Watch the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared on 08.21.18

Identity

High school girl’s response to ‘Ugly Girls’ poll inspires positive reaction

This brave high school student stood up to her school’s cyberbullies.

Lynelle Cantwell/Facebook.

Lynelle Cantwell had a response on her own Facebook page.

Lynelle Cantwell is in 12th grade at Holy Trinity High School in Torbay, Newfoundland and Labrador (that's Canada).

On Monday, she found out that she had been featured on another student's anonymous online poll entitled "Ugly Girls in Grade 12," along with several other classmates.


Cantwell responded via Facebook with her own message, which has already been shared more than 2,000 times and counting.

cyber bullying, bullies, kindness

The unkind poll.

Lynelle Cantwell/Facebook.

Take a look:

bullying, brave response, community support

“Just because we don’t look perfect on the outside does not mean we are ugly.” - Lynelle Cantwell.

Lynelle Cantwell/Facebook.

Since posting her brave response on Facebook, more people have come out to show support than people who voted in the first place.

Check out some of the responses:

appreciation, confidence, self esteem, love and support

Some responses to her post.

Lynelle Cantwell/Facebook.

The School District of Newfoundland and Labrador has announced that it will be looking into the incident further. For Cantwell, the positive outpouring of love and support vastly outweighs the initial cyberbullying and is raising her confidence in new ways.


This article originally appeared on 08.20.17