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woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

An incredibly busy off ramp in America and a monster truck that looks like a school bus.

America and European countries share many similarities in culture and governmental structures. They are democracies with similar legal systems, innovative in science and technology and have a significant influence on the world through art and culture.

That being said, there are some glaring cultural differences that are fun to point out. The broad generalization is that Europeans have refined cultural tastes, whereas Americans are a bit more brash and believe that bigger is always better. These are stereotypes, of course, and there are plenty of brash Europeans and Americans with refined tastes.

One of the biggest differences is America’s embrace of consumer culture, which Europeans see as excessive and tacky. Americans have an unquenchable love for processed foods and portions that make most Europeans shudder.


The sheer size of America is also hard for many Europeans to comprehend. During an 8-hour drive, Europeans can visit multiple countries with different languages and cultures. However, you probably won’t make it through some of America’s larger states in that short of a time.

I'm sorry, Europeans. Los Angeles and San Francisco are not an hour away, and you probably don’t want to drive from New York City to Disney World.

People have pointed out some of the significant differences between Americans and Europeans through memes with the simple caption, “The European mind cannot comprehend this.” It’s a fun way for Americans to point out the excesses that make America unlike any other place in the world.

A lot of the memes are centered around America’s love for chain restaurants and how they often are found in clusters dotting the American landscape. The downside of chain restaurant ubiquity is that it makes the country’s cuisine feel a bit homogenous. One can drive all the way from Des Moines, Iowa, to Albuquerque, New Mexico, and still find the same 10 places to eat.

Americans eat huge portions compared to the average European. When Europeans travel to America, they most frequently point out this. Americans also enjoy processed foods that feel more like they came out of a laboratory or off an assembly line than if they occurred randomly in nature. This stands in stark contrast to the European diet which often features smaller portions, less processed food, and a greater emphasis on fresh, seasonal ingredients.

America is also huge.

Americans have their very particular brand of unique crazy, whether it’s monster truck rallies, the tacky beauty of Las Vegas or our very vocal support for gun rights.

To keep the rivalry going, Europeans have been fighting back by sharing elements of their culture that would boggle the average American’s mind. Some memes include the interesting ways that A/C-phobic Europeans cool their homes. They also railed at Americans for being unable to drive cars with manual transmissions and for having really terrible taste in bread.

The Europeans also mocked the incredible price of healthcare in the U.S. and how everyone has their hand out for a tip.

A man and woman looking over their bills. Representative image.

The United States is the second most expensive country in the world to give birth, after Japan. In Japan, it costs around $61,000 to have a vaginal delivery, although those costs can be offset by government health insurance.

In the U.S., it costs around $14,000 to have a child without insurance, although there are a lot of factors that affect the price, including where you give birth, the type of insurance you carry and if there are any complications.

While $14,000 is a lot of money for most people, Hanna Castle from the Columbus, Ohio, area received a $4 million hospital bill after having quadruplets and that didn’t even include the delivery. All 4 of the children needed to spend time in the NICU for lengths between 64 and 147 days.



Castle explained the costs in a video that has been seen nearly 8 million times.

That hurt 🤣 

@hannacastle

That hurt 🤣 #Quadruplets #nicu #america #healthcare

The 4 children, Atlas, Dominic, Magnolia and Morgan, were all born at 28 weeks via Cesarean section and were treated at separate NICUs. According to Investopedia, a stay in the NICU can cost anywhere from $3,000 to $20,000 a day in the United States.

The smallest child of the 4, Atlas, weighed just 1.5 pounds but had the shortest stay in the NICU of 64 days. His total bill came to $714,747.15. Next was Magnolia who stayed 74 days at a cost of $728,625.56. Morgan stayed 86 days for $976,415.69 and Dominic stayed the longest, 147 days, for $1,626139.55.

All in all, the total bill for the NICU for the Castle Quads was $4,045,927.95.

Commenters on the video couldn’t believe how anyone could pay such a massive bill. "To put this in perspective, it would take $500 a month for 675 years to pay this off," Gouda wrote.

The good news for the Castle family was that Medicaid of Ohio picked up the entire tab. Knowing that the babies would need extensive care after being born, the couple quit their jobs to qualify for financial assistance. "At 16 weeks pregnant, I decided to quit my job to get some of that assistance because there was no other way," Castle told Good Morning America.

"I moved my mom in with us to kind of help financially for the first year and see how the kids were going to be,” she added. In Ohio, adults with incomes up to 138% of the federal poverty level and children with a household income of 211% of the poverty level can qualify for Medicaid.

In a recent Facebook post, Castle discussed the tough challenges of being the parent of multiples in America.

“You can believe that you’ll have 1 full-term child, but every pregnancy is different. A lot of us do not believe in terminating healthy children because of finances. Things happen. No one wants to live off of government assistance just to be able to survive and frankly there’s a lot of shame behind it,” she wrote. “But other countries don’t even have to worry about that. Do they truly think that a 1-time tax credit per year is enough to get us to keep having children in this economy? With the type of medical bills we rack up here? With the lack of financial medical assistance we have here?”


via Will C. Fry/Flickr and Nataliya Vaitkevich/Pexels

A woman is blown away about the charge for her medical care.


Even though the number of uninsured Americans has been on the decline for over a decade, the cost of healthcare is still astronomical, especially if you are uninsured. A perfect example of this story was recently shared by TikToker Cinthanie McAllister, who told a hilarious story about a bill she got for having a nasty case of gas.

Obviously, high healthcare costs aren’t funny, but sometimes, a good laugh can make the pain a bit more bearable.

"I bet you didn't know that you wanted to know how much it costs to fart without insurance in an ER in the United States," McAllister starts her video from the kitchen.


"A little while ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with the most excruciating abdominal pain I have ever experienced in my life," she said while doing her best to hold back the laughter. "I was doubled over. I couldn't walk. I had to literally crawl across our bedroom floor to wake my husband up to get him to take me to the ER. They had to come out to the car and wheelchair me into the ER because I couldn't walk because I was in so much pain."

i have to laugh to keep from crying because this is insane

@cinthanie

i have to laugh to keep from crying because this is insane #storytime #ervisitstorytime #emergencyroom #fyp

The pain was so severe that healthcare workers tried to give her morphine for relief. But McAllister didn't want any. "I was like, 'No! I don't want any f*cking morphine; I just want to know what's wrong with me.'"

The staff had McCallister take a CT scan because they were concerned, as were the McAllisters, that she may have a ruptured appendix. If not, then why would she be in such terrible pain?

While she was waiting for the scan results, nature called and McAllister went into the restroom. It was there she realized what was causing all of the abdominal distress.

"I let out the world's fattest ripper you've ever heard in your life," she said, trying to keep it together. "It was so ungodly smelling. It was so unwomanly. It was so wretched. Like, I'm positive that if there were bugs in the walls in that hospital, they were bug-bombed out. It was so f*cking bad."

"Anyways, needless to say, after letting out the world's biggest ripper, I felt pretty good," she admitted. "They ruled it as gastrointestinitis. The CT scan came back clear and they sent me on my way with some suppositories."

"How much do you think it cost me to let out that fart in the ER with no insurance? I'm telling you right now, you're wrong. It's more. It's more than what you think," she says. "This fart cost me $8,621.10."

"The price of gas in this country is outrageous," Sarah Staten wrote. "Happened to me once… spent hours in the ER for the Dr to say I had a 'fart stuck sideways,'" D added.

Many people gave her advice on how to avoid paying the bill.

"Get an itemized bill and tell them you are a cash patient. That should cut it in half or more. Then, just tell them you’ll make payments. Send them $20 a month. They’ll take it and do nothing," SeaChelleAviatrix suggested.

Upworthy has contacted McAllister for comment and has yet to receive a response.