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Desperate man asks strangers to restore a rare photo of his deceased wife. They didn't let him down.

"As she got older and gained weight she didn't like having her picture taken. So I don't have many pictures with her."

Photo credit: Canva

Strangers step in to help grieving man restore photo of late wife

Losing a loved one is never something anyone can be prepared for, even if you know it's coming. The finality of death no matter the mental preparation for the loss hits on a visceral level that's unexplainable to those who have yet to experience such loss. While you're doing your best to pull yourself together for final preparations, every well-meaning platitude of comfort feels like a gut punch.

But you do your best to move through the days, weeks and months without feeling like a burden to those who have designated themselves as responsible to hold your grief. It's in the quiet moments after the casseroles stop coming and the beautiful floral arrangements begin to die that you have the time to go through your rolodex of memories. Some memories are clear bringing you fits of unexpected laughter, others are fuzzy and having a picture helps to bring things back into focus.

Mathew Jacobs recently joined the club that nobody wants to join after losing his wife in January 2024. The grieving husband realizes that he doesn't have many pictures with his late wife and decides to make a plea to a photo restoration group on Facebook.

a man and a woman looking at the camera Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

"Lost my wife in January and as she got older and gained weight she didn't like having her picture taken. So I don't have many pictures with her. The one below is one of my favorites when we were younger. Can someone please bring out our faces and get rid of the glare. Thank you in advance," Jacobs writes in the original post.

While the internet is known to be sort of a cesspool of negativity and trolls, the opposite is often true when it comes to people rallying to help a stranger. This undercurrent of internet goodness bubbled to the surface just when Jacobs needed it. People jumped in to offer condolences while others got to work on restoring the picture. By the end of the exchange of restoration attempts, Jacobs walks away with a photo clearly depicting his wife's beautiful features.


"An adorable couple! Not liking pictures of myself due to my weight issues throughout life was a true struggle. I love your unconditional love for this beautiful lady and I am sure you made her feel beautiful every day," one person shares.

"So very sorry for your loss. And I’m very glad to see that folks in this group Definitely got the job done. There are some incredible edits above. She was beautiful by the way," another says in the group.

flat lay photography of mirrorless camera Photo by Ignat Kushanrev on Unsplash

"So sorry for your loss. Let this be a lesson to anyone who hides away from the camera. One day photographs may be all we have left behind for our loved ones," one commenter reminds others.

Jacobs is overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers, saying, "after a 191 comments I don't know if anyone will see this but I really want to thank everyone for all the love. Anyone that loses someone this close to them and says they are OK is lying, and it is hard not to lose faith in the world. Things like this and the love expressed by everyone helps to remind me that the world is not a terrible place and there is love out there still."

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Health

If you're grieving a loved one this holiday season, here's a gift you can give yourself

After losing her almost-4-year-old daughter to epilepsy, Kelly Cervantes created a "grief companion" that meets people wherever they are in their grief journey.

Images courtesy of Kelly Cervantes

Kelly Cervantes wrote her way through grieving the loss of her daughter, Adelaide.

As an Amazon Associate, Upworthy may earn proceeds from items purchased that are linked to this article, at no additional cost to you.

Kelly Cervantes begins the Introduction to her book with five words: "Grief sucks. It's also weird." It's a concise truth that anyone who has lost a loved one knows all too well.

Grief is a universal experience—none of us get through life without loss—but it's also unique to each person. Most of us are familiar with the popular "stages of grief" theory, but denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (along with guilt and a host of things) are less like sequential rungs on a ladder and more like pools you fall into at various times as you stumble your way through the grief process. Grief is not linear and it's not neat and tidy and it's not predictable.

Take it from someone who's been there. Kelly Cervantes lost her daughter, Adelaide, to epilepsy just shy of her 4th birthday. Using writing as a therapeutic tool to help her process Adelaide's medically complex life, death and everything that came after, Kelly created the book she wished she'd had as she was trying to navigate her own grieving process.

"Normal Broken: The Grief Companion for When It's Time To Heal But You're Not Sure You Want To" is a raw, honest, helpful and ultimately hopeful resource for anyone experiencing grief. Each chapter deals with a different aspect of grief, with chapter titles ranging from "When Getting Out of Bed Deserves a Medal" to "When Your Greatest Fear is Socializing to "When Gratitude is a Struggle" to "When You're Ready to Be Okay."

I sat down with Kelly for an Upworthy Book Club author chat about her book, and our discussion offers some glimpses into the experience and wisdom she shares in "Normal Broken." We talked about the loneliness that can come with grief, which is a weird thing considering the fact that it's something all of us experience at some point. As Kelly pointed out, sometimes that loneliness is because grief changes us and the people around us don't always accept that.

Watch:

We also chatted about how different people grieve differently, and how she and her husband Miguel's different grieving styles after Adelaide's death caused some tension between them for a while until Kelly learned how to "outsource" what she needed in her own grieving process.

"Normal Broken" is designed such that you can pick and choose which chapters to read in any order. If you're struggling with feelings of guilt, which is common after someone passes away, you can pick up Chapter 5: "When the Voice in the Back of Your Head Won't Shut Up." If you're feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, you can open up to Chapter 12: "When You're Feeling Emotionally Hungover" and find a friend who gets it.

The thing about grief is that nothing about it feels normal, but whatever you're experiencing in your grieving process probably is normal.

"One of the biggest lessons that I learned [writing about grief] was that I'm not that special," Kelly says. "And I mean that in the nicest way. I'm special in all the ways that Mr. Rogers and 'Sesame Street' taught me that I was. But what I experience, the way grief affects me—in that way, I am not special. My story is unique to me, but my manifestations of grief are not."

the cover of "Normal Broken"

"Normal Broken: The Grief Companion for When It's Time To Heal But You're Not Sure You Want To"

Courtesy of Kelly Cervantes

The holidays can be an especially difficult time for people who are missing a loved one. If that's you, give yourself the gift of insight and understanding from someone who's been through an immense loss. It's not a self-help book, it's not a book full of annoying advice—it's a companion that can help you put words to what you're feeling, sit with you in the darkness when that's what. you need, and help you feel okay about feeling okay when the time comes.

Find "Normal Broken" on Amazon here or Bookshop.org here.

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Joy

People were asked to share their 'most memorable moment' with a stranger. One answer jumped out.

"As I got to the checkstand with my arm full of stuff I dropped a container of sour cream and it exploded everywhere. I completely lost control of myself and started to cry. The ugly cry."

Canva

Good grief, strangers can be kind.

Interactions with strangers can be the highlight of your day, the reason you're crying in a bathroom stall at Chipotle or anywhere in between. A user on Reddit wanted to hear about the most memorable moments people had with strangers in what is assumed to be an effort to show the good in humanity.

The question read, "What is the most memorable moment you shared with a stranger who you never saw again?" Well, leave a prompt like that and the internet is ripe with responses ready to go. This particular post has more than 11,000 comments, but it was one comment in particular that stood out and brought the internet to tears.

Reddit user misdolnurs2517 answered the prompt with a story about grief and how a group of strangers came together for a momentary act of kindness.

The user says at the time of the incident her father had passed away earlier that day and she felt like she was doing a pretty good job holding it together. Grief is a strange thing, sometimes it's delayed, sometimes its immediate and oftentimes it peeks its head up in the most unexpected moments. You never know how grief is going to affect you until it hits, and it's something you don't have much control over.

kindness; act of kindness; strangers; griefPhoto by Ben White on Unsplash

For this particular Reddit user, grief snuck up on her when she took a stroll around Target to clear her mind and buy a few groceries. The commenter recalls getting to the checkout stand with her arms full when she dropped a container of sour cream. It was in that moment, the dam broke. Right in the middle of Target for everyone to see, this grieving daughter began to sob uncontrollably.

She said, "I completely lost control of myself and started to cry. The ugly cry." Everyone knows that cry and it doesn't tend to happen over sour cream splattered all over the floor. The shoppers around her knew that something deeper was going on but no one pried.

kindness; act of kindness; strangers; griefPhoto by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

The Reddit user said she was instantly surrounded by a group of women who took charge of the situation without saying a word. Connecting with someone on such a human level that words are not needed is a moment to be treasured. She said the women cleaned up the mess, someone grabbed her a new sour cream and helped her get checked out.

I'm stereotyping here, but that is some big mom energy coming from that group of women. They saw someone who was hurting and did what needed to be done without shaming, without prying and without talking. The group anticipated the needs of a stranger then anticipated the actions of the other women helping to get a grieving person home.

kindness; act of kindness; strangers; grief

Reddit Screenshot

The story garnered many supportive comments but most were speculating on if a group of moms is called a flock or a gaggle before telling their own stories of how a random mom helped them. No matter what a group of moms is called, the story is a beautiful testament to seeing one another's humanity.

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How performing little acts of kindness is helping grieving parents move forward.

Joanne Cacciatore's daughter, Cheyenne, was stillborn in July 1994. She says it was the worst day of her life.

Photo via Joanne Cacciatore, used with permission.

She briefly held her baby girl in her arms, but that was all the time she'd get with her.

It was then that Cacciatore decided to dedicate her life to helping parents like herself deal with grief.

But first, she had her own grief to contend with. She says in the months that followed, she couldn't stop crying and found parenting her other three children to be an impossible task.

That Christmas, which would've been Cheyenne's first, Cacciatore took the money she would have spent on presents and did something a little different with it. She bought a bunch of toys for underprivileged kids through a local charity.

"And in that moment [Cheyenne] was very much alive, because my love for her continued, and I was able to enact that love in the world," she told Yahoo! News.

That's when she first became aware of the immense healing power of giving. From there, she started The Kindness Project.

The Kindness Project asks grieving parents to do good deeds in their communities in memory of a lost child (or parent, friend, or spouse).

They then leave behind a small note card so the recipient can channel their gratitude toward the deceased and know that person's life and death continues to matter.

All photos provided by The Kindness Project.

Cacciatore says so far, over 2,000,000 acts of kindness have occurred because of the project around the world.

There's Kamaria McDonald, who donated toys, baby supplies, and more to a domestic violence shelter in honor of her late-son, Dane.

There's young Mackenzie's mother, who paid for and left two giant stuffed animals for some unsuspecting kids at a Kohl's in memory of her daughter.

A first-grade class in Richmond, California, wrote kind notes to their neighbors in honor of Teddy, a young boy who died of cancer.

Michael's mom donated basketballs to her local community center in honor of her son, who loved to shoot hoops.

And then there's Ann, whose story has stuck with Cacciatore for many years.

Ann tragically lost her baby, Joshua, to sudden infant death syndrome. One day, at one of her favorite restaurants, Ann stumbled across a young pregnant woman enjoying a baby shower. In her grief, it was almost too much to bear.

Ann headed for the door, feeling confused, overwhelmed, and inexplicably angry at this complete stranger. But "she paused, took a deep breath, took out a Kindness Project card, wrote Joshua's name on it, pre-paid the bill of the shower party in full, and called me weeping," Cacciatore wrote in the book Techniques of Grief Therapy.

It was a painful thing for Ann to do but an important step in her healing process.

The Kindness Project's Facebook page is flooded with incredible stories of giving — from cups of coffee to massive donations.

As beautiful as it is for a stranger to experience an unexpected act of kindness, the project is really about parents finding constructive ways to heal.

"While these good deeds do not eradicate grief, nor should they do so," Cacciatore wrote, "They do provide a means through which the mourner can redirect painful emotions into feelings of love and compassion and hope."

Losing a child is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. Cacciatore just hopes that all of that pain and suffering won't be totally in vain, and we remember that every life deserves to be remembered, no matter how short it might be.

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