+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy

gratitude

Parenting

Mom teaches daughter a perfect lesson after she threw her new pencil case in the trash

"I truly believe changing your perception & just being grateful can turn around any situation in life."

Photo from Pexels.

Getting lessons are usually not so fun.

Kids can seem pretty unappreciative at times. Parents often sacrifice a lot to give their child the best, just to have it thrown in their face, or in the bin. This is something that Haley Hassell recently discovered when she went to three different stores to get her daughter the latest trendy pencil case.

When Hassell gave her daughter the pencil case, she threw it in the bin complaining that everyone already had it. That's when Hassell decided to teach her daughter the perfect lesson.

In a Facebook post, Hassell explained:

"[Daughter] learned a tough love lesson today... I went to 3 different stores to get that LOL pencil box you see in the trash there. When I surprised her with it this afternoon (just knowing she would be ecstatic) she stared at it and threw it in the trash and slammed the bedroom door. She yelled 'that's stupid, everyone in my class has that..I don't want it anymore!'"

"OK So by this time there was probably smoke coming out of my ears and I'm trying real hard not to completely lose it on this kid that I have worked so hard to completely take care of financially on my own & make sure she always gets what she needs and then some. BUT I thought I had always taught her to be grateful & know how lucky she was but apparently sis needed a small wake up call!"

"SO before completely going Madea mad on my child I check myself and say, 'okay that's fine, let me go get the one you're going to use.' Came back with her new pencil box, which is the Ziploc bag. She lost her mind! Suddenly the LOL Box she just trashed was good enough and the Ziploc bag was horrible...but it's too late for all that."

Yes, Hassell gave her daughter a Ziplock bag as a pencil case since she didn't appreciate the LOL one.

"I told her to get the LOL out of the trash and we would be finding a child to give it to tomorrow..one whose mommy and daddies don't have money for any school supplies or someone who may not even have a mommy or daddy."

"I explained to her she's not entitled to anything special and she is taking for granted how lucky she is. So for now she will be using a Ziploc bag & will personally be delivering the nice box to a child that could benefit from it. Maybe I overreact sometimes but I would've done anything to have all the things she does as a child. I truly believe changing your perception & just being grateful can turn around any situation in life.”

Commenters seemed to love the punishment, with one user writing: "I'm down for this. Yes it'd be easier to give in, but sometimes you gotta teach them the principle of the matter."

While another added: "I think you responded appropriately. Maybe she can earn the one she decides she wants at some point."

Others were less receptive of the idea, with a commenter writing: "I guess I pretty much interact with my child on a regular basis, you know, take them with me when buying stuff for THEM so I know what they want. I talk to my child and care about their feelings. I don't fear monger them. But hey, good job being a monster mom!"

Personally, I fully support mom on this one and think it's important to teach kids to appreciate what they have. If you don't, they'll most likely turn into terrible adults.

This article originally appeared five years ago.

Jennifer Garner ad father William John Garner starring in a Capital One commercial.

Grief and gratitude might seem to be in opposition to the other, but in times of loss, they both work in tandem to help us process our pain. As the “Ten Percent Happier” blog eloquently puts it, “grief embodies our humanity even as gratitude allows us to embrace pain and hardship.”

Actress Jennifer Garner recently gave a poignant example of this.

On April 1, the “Alias” star took to her Instagram page to share the news that her father, William John Garner, died “peacefully” in the afternoon on March 30.

Though her tribute expressed the loss she felt, it made plenty of space for humor and appreciation for the precious memories she got to create with her “kind and brilliant” dad.


Garner began her caption with a joke, saying, “We were with him, singing ‘Amazing Grace’ as he left us. Did we carry him across or scare him away — valid question.”

The lighthearted moment was followed by a nugget of heartfelt truth. “While there is no tragedy in the death of an 85-year-old man who lived a healthy, wonderful life, I know grief is unavoidable, waiting around unexpected corners.”

Still, Garner noted that “Today is for gratitude,” reminiscing her late father’s “gentle demeanor and quiet strength” his “mischievous smile,” and “for the way he invented the role of all in, ever patient girl dad.”

She then sent thank-you's to the medical staff that helped him during his final chapter, helping him get a few more days to spend with his grandchildren.

“There is so much to say about my dad— my sisters and I will never be done talking about how wonderful he was, so bear with us,” she concluded. “But for today, I share these memories with my appreciation for the kind and brilliant man, father, and grandfather he was, as well as the loving legacy he left behind.”

Along with the tribute, Garner shared a carousel of images of her dad, including a clip of their iconic Capital One commercial spot, where her father got to deliver the famous “What’s in your wallet?” tagline.

Garner aimed to honor her father in her tribute, and she succeeded.

“My heart aches a little because you lost someone so incredibly special, but also celebrates the comfort you must have in knowing what a precious and wonderful human being he was here on Earth. I am now singing to him as well!” one person wrote.

Another added, “What an amazing father and beautiful example.”

It prompted a few to reflect on their own relationships with their father.

“Dads are so precious. Sorry for your loss.”

“A father daughter bond is like no other — I’m so very sorry — sending love and prayers for your family.”

“What a lovely face he had! A wonderful father is a tough thing to beat. I had one too and know in my bones how lucky I was — how lucky you were— thinking of you and sending buckets of love.”

Part of being human means eventually losing everyone we love. We can choose to focus solely on mourning. We can also choose to try to bury the pain. But neither of those options helps us fully experience our own humanity. The hidden opportunity of grief is to feel gratitude at a profound level, as if to say “I am now more fully aware of how precious our time together was, now that it is no longer here.” May we all have the grace to embrace both sides when the time comes.

John is so excited to get her "ugly" car."

In a world where older generations often criticize younger people for being entitled, a video shared by Melissa Tylor shows that there are still young people out there who appreciate everything they have.

In a video seen over 34 million times, Melissa’s daughter, Jordan, is shown running out of her job to see a car her parents gave her as a gift. Well, the car is obviously used, but for Jordan, it’s new.

In the video, Jordan doesn’t scoff at getting a used car. She embraces it, flaws and all. "It's so ugly I love it," she says, looking inside the vehicle. After noticing her father admitting her reaction, she smiles back at him, “It's so ugly I love it.”


The father apologizes for the car, telling her, "I'm sorry, baby," to which she assures him, “I love it!"

The commenters on the video complimented the family on raising a child who was genuinely grateful for her gift. “A grateful child and a dad doing his best. Totally awesome guys,” one user wrote. “I love that she knows your first car should be ugly and to make memories in! So cute,” Kaykoontz added.

Other commenters felt a pang of nostalgia for their first cars. “First cars aren’t made to last, but her memories will,” Svn02 wrote.

In a comment on a follow-up video, Melissa shared her advice for raising grateful children. "Don't spoil them. Make sure they know they have to work for things. Lots of love and also discipline," Melissa said.

Arjuna explains why Americans don't say "you're welcome" anymore.

There's an emerging trend among American Gen Zers and Millennials where they are moving away from responding with "You're welcome" after receiving thanks. While older generations might interpret this shift as a sign of a decay in manners, many young people view responses like "OK" or "Mm-hmm" as more courteous than the traditional "You're welcome."

The change may signal that the younger generations are actually kinder than the older ones. Simply put, the difference suggests that older people think help is a gift you give, while younger people think help is an expectation required of them.

This change in manners has caused a debate in the States, and the cultural shift has also led to some discussions abroad. Recently, there has been a considerable debate on TikTok, where non-Americans, especially those in Europe, see the change as rude.


Earlier this year, Australian YouTuber and content creator Georgia McCudden shared a clip (which has since been removed) depicting an experience with a server during her visit to the U.S.

In the video, McCudden recounts that she thanked a restaurant employee who handed her ketchup, to which the server replied, "Mmhmm." She was baffled by the response, saying, “I was like, ‘I beg your f**king pardon,’” she said in the clip. “I'm sorry, I didn't know that was a big ask.”

An American responded to McCudden’s original post, reassuring her that the server wasn't being rude at all. The exchange was just a cultural misunderstanding.

@clockforaheart

#stitch with @Georgia also this is a good verison of nonamericans teasing americans besides the usual stuff they say

A TikTokker named Arjuna hopped into the discussion with a post that described the “You’re welcome” phenomenon in America, and he must have done an excellent job because it’s received nearly a million views.

He captioned the clip: "I promise you Americans are actually very polite!!!"

"Someone went viral earlier this week for saying that Americans don't say 'you're welcome' in customer service situations,” Arjuna said. "I'm not here to sh*t on them, but I do want to explain for non-Americans why we don't really say 'you're welcome' and why 'you're welcome' feels a little outdated to a lot of Americans."

@superdesidrinks

i promise you americans are actually very polite !!! #usa #american #thankyou #yourewelcome #english

Then, he laid out the “American” logic for the change.

"Let's say I'm a cashier at a fast-food restaurant, and they hand someone their food, and they say 'thank you,' to a lot of Americans, for us to say 'you're welcome' has the mindset of like 'Oh, yeah, we just did something big for you.' Like, it has this implication of 'I know, you should be thanking me,’” Arjuna said.

He adds that saying “you’re welcome” after completing a small task that’s part of their job “seems way too intense for that.” That’s why he says younger Americans prefer to respond with an “uh-huh,” 'no problem,” or “don't worry about it.”

Arjuna did add one caveat where “you’re welcome” would be an appropriate response to a “thank you.”

"But if I donated a kidney to someone, and then they came up to me and were like 'thank you' then I'd be like 'yeah, you're welcome,'" he said.