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Mom gives 3 big reasons why Millennial parents think Boomer grandparents are the worst

"Honestly Boomers are so agitated with the grandkids."

Image via Canva

Millennial mom shares why Boomer grandparents are the worst with grandkids.

Every generation has taken a different approach to parenting. From Gen X to Boomers to Millennials, each generation has brought up their kids different than the generation before. And for Millennial parents with Boomer grandparents, some have a bone to pick.

TikTokker Phyllis (@motherphyllis) pointed out three of the biggest reasons why she thinks Millennial parents (like herself) think that Boomer grandparents are *the worst* when it comes to helping take care of their grandchildren. The first reason she is calling out Boomer grandparents is because in her experience, they don't really want to help out if needed, and throw a "you need to raise your own kids" argument if asked for help.

"I’m not raising your kids. They’re your kids take care of them yourself even though trust us we don’t want you raising our kids. No thanks 🤣," she captioned the post.

@motherphyllis

I’m not raising your kids. They’re your kids take care of them yourself even though trust us we don’t want you raising our kids. No thanks 🤣 #fyp #fypシ #grandparents #millennial #boomer #mom #sahm #fypage #honest #truth #foryoupage #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp

In the video, she says, "Because y'all couldn't wait to have grandbabies. You were so excited about it. And then when they get here, you *maybe* stop up at the hospital, *maybe* stop over to the house. You stay for 45 minutes, snap a picture, upload it to Facebook and then you gotta get home to the dogs. And then you might not see the baby again until their first birthday."

She goes on to add that Boomer grandparents also like to add in that they are "not raising your kids. 'They're your kids. I raised my kids. Sorry but I'm not doing that'," she says, adding that when Boomer grandparents are asked to do a small favor like watch their grandkids for a doctor's appointment, they use that argument. "Us Millennials are like, 'Wait! We weren't asking you to raise them. We were asking you to keep them for maybe like, an hour or two."

Her second reason why she thinks Boomer grandparents are the worst is that they are irritated/agitated easily with grandkids. "Honestly boomers are so agitated with the grandkids. My grandma would never 🤣😩," she captioned the video.

@motherphyllis

Honestly boomers are so agitated with the grandkids. My grandma would never 🤣😩 #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #mom #millennial #momlife #boomer #generations

She goes on to explain that Boomer grandparents do "weird sh*t", like "they won't see the kids for a year, maybe because they're long distance, and they come around and are instantly irritated with the kids. They can't even stand it," she says. "It's like, 'Quit talking! Quit jumping! Quit doing that!' It's like, what are they doing? They're just eating Goldfish. 'The crunching is giving me a headache, it's just annoying.'"

Then she gives another scenario, with Boomer grandparents who live 45 minutes away who "act like it's a total inconvenience to see the kids like, I don't know, once a month or once a week even...Boomers be so irritated with the grandkids these days."

@motherphyllis

Just calling to chat about myself… #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #sahm #mom #millennial #boomer #generations #funny #honest #truth

Finally, she shares that the third reason she thinks Boomer grandparents are the worst is because when they call to check in, they only want to chat about themselves. "Just calling to chat about myself…," she captioned the post.

"You think they're calling to see how you're doing or how the kids are doing or something of that matter besides themselves, but nope...they're just calling to talk about themselves," she says. "They want to talk about the new beach house, they want to tell you about how they're furnishing it. They might start the conversation with, 'How's everyone doing?', and then when you start to explain how everyone's doing they're like, 'Okay well that's enough! I didn't want the whole story. I was just calling to talk about myself.'"

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'Shut your mouth.' New grandma offers spot on advice to being a non-toxic mother-in-law.

“Nobody cares how you did it."

@wendygimpelrealtor/TikTok

She brings up good points.

We all know the typical image of a mother-in-law is…less than positive. And that is obviously because for many, many people out there, having an in-law who’s controlling, passive aggressive, narcissistic, and altogether unpleasant is a very real experience.

However, there are MIL’s out there, like Wendy Gimpel, who provide not only a soothing counter narrative, but also a bit of tough love advice for those who need to hear it.

In a video posted to her TikTok, we see Gimpel nuzzling her newborn grandchild, whom she is watching over while her son and “his beautiful wife” are off enjoying a date night. Immediate brownie points.

@wendygimpelrealtor Be the best grandparent you can be! be supportive. Do the dishes make the food clean the kitchen fold the diapers do their laundry. Change the sheets love with an open hand. #grandma #grandparents #supportiveparents #over50 #relationships #family #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel


Gimpel went on to explain how her algorithm kept exposing her to folks around her age who apparently have “estrangement issues” with their children, which prompted her to say a few words.

“All I want to say is, our job as grandparents, in my opinion, is to help our kids be the best parents they can be. We already did this. We had our chance. And if we did it right, or at least partially correct, we get to do this!” she said, gesturing towards the little one.

She then added that “Nobody cares how you did it,” she says, referring to raising children, because they aren’t the ones doing the childrearing anymore.

“His wife gets to do [it] the way she wants to do it. ... I just want to do what you want me to do, and I’m not going to give you unsolicited advice. If you want to ask me something, I’m happy to share how I did it, but because I did it a certain way doesn’t mean you need to do it a certain way.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Let’s do better 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #grandparents #over50 #relationships #family #over50 #foryoupage #fyp ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

She used the example of cloth diapers, saying, “you wanna do cloth diapers? Let’s do cloth diapers. Show me how to do ‘em. I’ll air dry them. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I just wanna do what you want me to do.” How refreshing is that?

And then Gimpel really drove her point home, bluntly telling people what to actually do if they want to be good grandparents.

“Shut your mouth, be supportive, cook the food, do the laundry, love with an open hand. Don’t expect anything in return and maybe you’ll have a relationship with your grandkids. That’s the goal, isn’t it? Just to be supportive and helpful and just to be involved, that’s my goal ... They are their own family unit now: they need to do what works for their family.”

@wendygimpelrealtor Pick your battles, be the glue, love your village 🥰 #grandma #supportiveparents #family #relationship #over50 #genx #relationships #foryoupage #fyp #pickyourbattles ♬ original sound - Wendy Gimpel

Unsurprisingly, millions of viewers found the video, and loved the sentiment, particularly the “no one cares how you did it” part.

“‘No one cares how you did it.’ SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK,’” one person wrote.

Another said, "If you offer a workshop, I have a few grandparents to register.”

Perhaps part of this need to insert input comes from a fear of being seen as obsolete. But honestly, it’s not so much that former methods are invalid, it’s just a completely different world (grandparents didn’t have to concern themselves with digital hygiene, for one thing). And point blank, is it more important to be right? Or to maintain a healthy connection with our loved ones? Sometimes it really does boil down to that simple question.

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Parenting

Millennials bond over their Boomer parents' 'gramnesia.' Here's what the viral term means.

People can't get over how "accurate" it is.

@millennialmomtherapist/Instagram, Photo credit: Canva

Millennials, are you victims of "gramnesia"?

It’s funny how once a sort of abstract experience gets a name attached to it, it suddenly becomes much easier to understand and relate to. The Internet—and primarily TikTok—has been great for that. Sure, things get out of hand quite easily (like the overuse of “therapy speak”), but there has also been quite a lot of validation and meaningful conversations that have spawned from these overnight buzzwords.

Case and point: “Gramnesia.”

“Gramnesia,” which combines the words “grandparent” and “amnesia,” has been popping up on Reddit discussions for a while now, though the coiner of the term seems unknown. But only recently has it been really gaining traction.

Back in June of 2024, Maryland-based therapist and mom Allie McQuaid, really brought “gramnesia” to the forefront of the conversation when she made an Instagram video all about it.

“I just heard this term called ‘gramnesia’ when grandparents forget what it’s really like having young kids and I can’t stop thinking about how accurate it is,” she said in the clip.

In her caption, McQuaid shared how so many of her clients would get “slammed” by their parents about how different (i.e. “easier”) raising kids was for them whenever they brought their own children around.

These hyperbolic memories are, as McQuaid put it, so “ridiculous” that they've clearly “forgot[ten] what it was really like in those early years of parenthood.”

Some examples of “gramnesia” statements could be:

“You never had tantrums when you were a kid”

“I potty trained you before you were one”

“You were always happy to eat whatever we fed you.”

“You were spanked and turned out fine!”

Clearly, McQuaid’s video struck a chord, because it wasn’t long before people begin chiming in with their own stories of gramnesia:

“My MIL, over the years, loved to act like her children were perfect growing up. I love to tell the stories of her son (my hubby) getting into all kinds of trouble as a kid - oh the shock.”

“*Baby makes any kind of noise* Grandma: "Oh they must be teething!" Me : "Umm she's 4 months old, She isn't teething yet - just has feelings and is you know - A BABY" grandma: ‘well my kids had all their teeth by 4 months’ 😐🤨”

“5 months old and not sleeping through the night? Did you try rice cereal? Baby not walking ? Rice cereal. Baby not in college yet? Have you tried rice cereal?”

“Ugh my dad literally just said this to me last week… ‘I don’t remember you guys having this many tantrums’… 🙄 right after my boys were upset.”


parenting, conflict, kids, parents, gramnesiaThese moments may be harder to remember. Image via Canva

McQuaid posited some theories as to why gramnesia exists in the first place.

One is that it could simply be the natural tendency to have a cognitive bias which puts past experiences in a more positive light than they actually were, aka having “euphoric recall.” As she told Huffpost, we tend to have a “foggier memory of how things truly were” as we get older, “especially if the experience we had was particularly difficult or even traumatic.”

Plus, the first few years of parenthood are often such a blur anyway. McQuaid herself admitted that ”I even have a hard time remembering the first year of motherhood, and that was only four years ago.”

In addition, McQuaid theorized that gramnesia exists because previous generations “were not given space to express emotions or indicate that they were struggling to adjust to motherhood.” Honestly, a sound hypothesis.

And for the frustrated folks itching to confront their boomer parents about this, McQuaid suggests picking your battles.

“Check your capacity if you have the space or energy to even consider bringing up your frustration with your parents,” she told Huffpost. “You are likely in the throes of parenting right now, and maybe all you can do is smile and nod after hearing for the 100th time how ‘you were never like this.’”

However, if you are determined to bring it up and set the record straight, McQuaid suggests to actually keep it centered around you and how the situation makes you feel, rather than combating their memories. So, instead of saying, “That’s NOT how it happened!” try something like, “When you said that I never did X when I was Y’s age, it makes me question how well I’m doing as a parent.” Probably easier said than done, to be sure.

And while this sore spot might never come to a full resolution for a lot of millennial parents, at least take some solace in knowing that you’re not crazy, nor are you alone.

parenting, parenting life, parents, babies, having childrenYou'll probably forget the stress of these days too. Image via Canva.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Confused Boomer grandparents don't get 'Bluey.' 15 fans and parents set them straight.

"My mom finally is getting that Bluey is a girl even though 'she’s blue'. So that’s good."

Image via Wikipedia/Canva

Parents explain why Boomer grandparents are not Bluey fans.

Australian kids cartoon show Bluey has found a loyal audience in kids and adults alike. Although Bluey was created for kids ages five to seven, it has connected with Gen Z and Millennial parents (as well as childless adults, young adults, and teens) who claim it has helped them heal their inner child.

But the beloved animated show seems to fall short among one demographic: Boomer grandparents. In a discussion among dads in r/Daddit, one impassioned parent posed the question: "How do other grandparents feel about Bluey?"

He explains his family's dynamic, and how his kids' grandparents seem to not fully 'get it.' "I know bandit is our guiding light and that the show gives our generation everything we felt we lacked in our childhood, but was curious to find it didn’t have the same affect on my parents. One of the kids’ grandmas refuses to acknowledge emotion in the show. During emotional bits she would say things like, 'that’s a nice looking plant'," he writes. "Other grandma watched the first two episodes and thinks the show promotes bad behavior - mostly how mean they are to bandit. Granddads don’t really participate in that kind of 'play' with the kids. How does your older generation feel about the show?"

In response, 15 Bluey fans and parents expressed their funny and relatable thoughts on why the show misses the mark with grandparents.

1. "My mom finally is getting that bluey is a girl even though 'she’s blue'. So that’s good." – guitarguywh89

2. "My mum thought it was ageist because of the kids playing grannies lol." – th3whistler

3. "I often wonder how many of the people who 'don't like Bluey' are just being insecure about how they parent/have parented. I mean, there are probably some people who legit just don’t enjoy it, but I mean c‘mon its like the sweetest show ever." – nolte100

Bluey, blue and bingo, kids show, cartoon, kidsWave Hello GIF by BlueyGiphy

4. "The in-laws who all they ever wanted was grandkids don’t understand Bluey and many of the other shows. They always comment on how kids don’t behave like they used to. Then we have to remind them we would be in jail if we smacked around kids like they used to so it was easy to have kids that abide. Teaching versus being scared is much tougher. I take it, it is their insecurity that they don’t follow Bluey and Daniel Tiger, and particularly my MIL takes it as disrespecting how they did things. We just remind them the world has changed and what they wanted in the end was for their kids to be better off than they were. Isn’t that goal of everything, be it monetarily, physically, mentally, and especially in their health." – We-Going-Sizzler

5. "I love bluey and I try to emulate bandit as much as possible. My boomer parents have literally said that they don’t understand the show. They are completely out of touch. Gentle parenting is not even on their radar. It actually makes sense tho. Kinda sad." – peaceloveandapostacy

6. "Yeahhh my parents were just scratching their heads over 'Duck Cake.' Like the hyper authoritarian 'ohhh she’d be cleaning up her mess in THIS house! Hurr durr' like they did not get that the point is to make your kids understand that it is inherently good to help others (and makes us feel good too!). Nope! Not enough discipline. Explains a lot about them, actually." – Altruistic-Ratio6690

Bluey, Bandit, life lessons, parenting, kids showFathers Day Hug GIF by BlueyGiphy

7. "My parents are from the former Soviet Union. They think all children's programming is hot garbage if its not old school Russian cartoons from 80's or older. Only exception is Masha and the Bear. As others have said, they are not the demographic and luckily for our kiddos, we like the show, so that's all that matters." – St33lB3rz3rk3r

8. "My dad really struggled with the play bits. We watched the first episode with him (with the xylophone) and he just couldn’t parse that the xylophone wasnt magic and that it was all make believe. I think he just couldn’t wrap his head around a kids show that was just about kids playing and not something more fantastical. Which makes sense when compared to the 80s/90s cartoons we watched. That said if his little princesses like it he’s in lol." – DeliriousPrecarious

9. "A lot of the older generation got warped on harsh discipline and my way of the highway nonsense. The show may not translate for them, but they’re not the demographic." – AsItIs


Bluey, Blue balloon, parade, parents, kids, popular showMacys Parade Bluey GIF by The 96th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Giphy

10. "In a way, the show is actually a bit of an indictment on their way of parenting. Since, ya know, it models opposite behavior." – defnotajournalist

11. "My wife's mother feels that the show promotes 'cheekiness'? She's apparently not a fan." – Belerophon17

12. "Grandma doesn't like it because 'the kids are too sassy, do you want your daughter to sass you like that?' Yes, Mom, I do. Grandpa doesn't like it because he thinks it's 'sexist against men'. Ok boomer." – stravadarius


Bluey, blue kids, play, kids show, cartoon, parenting Scared Oh No GIF by Bluey Giphy

13. "Sounds like the grandparents are pretty much making the point. The boomers left a lot to be desired as parents, stewards of the world, and now as elder statespeople. Let's do better. I know Bandit would." – PhishGreenLantern

14. "I think it's less to do with bluey and more to do with the older generations inability to process their emotions in a healthy way." – SerentityM3ow

15. "[lurking mom] Caught my father in law teary eyed after watching an episode with my nephew. Bluey is doing great work healing multigenerational trauma!" – Dull_Title_3902


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