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Nail-biting video shows a woman as she realizes a creepy man is following her

She was only halfway through her run when the man's behavior forced her to stop.

@lacie_kraatz/TikTok
Lacie films as the mysterious man visibly gets closer.

It’s no secret that even the most seemingly safe of public places can instantly turn dangerous for a woman. Is it fair? No. But is it common? Absolutely, to the point where more and more women are documenting moments of being stalked or harassed as a grim reminder to be aware of one’s surroundings.

One of the most common and frightening experiences many women can relate to is being followed by a strange man. It's scary because it's difficult to tell the difference between a random passerby who just happens to be walking in your direction and someone who has malicious intentions. At least, at first. But sadly, most women have learned how to pick up on the clues.

Lacie (@lacie_kraatz) is one of those women. On April 11th, she was out on a run when she noticed a man in front of her displaying suspicious behavior.


stalking, harassment, women, girls, men, danger, safetySadly, creeps don't need the cover of darkness to be creeps. Photo by ølı on Unsplash

Things got especially dicey when the man somehow got behind her. That’s when she pulled out her phone and started filming—partially to prove that it wasn’t just her imagination, and also out of fear for her safety.

“Hello. I’m just making this video so that women are a little more aware of them,” she begins in the video. “See this gentleman behind me? Yeah, this is what this video’s about.”

According to Lacie, the two were initially running in opposite directions. But at some point after seeing her, the man stopped in the middle of the trail and waited for her to pass so that he could follow her path from behind.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking—‘Why are you suspecting that he’s following you?'” Lacie continues. “Well, let me tell you. I was just walking like this, and I look up, and he’s in front of me, and he just keeps doing a ‘peek’ like this behind him, over and over again.”

Lacie added that at one point, she even made an illegal crossing when “do not walk” sign was still up in an attempt to put some distance between herself and the man. After looking over her shoulder, she noticed that the man was visibly “speeding” to keep up.

In case there is still any doubt, Lacie then begins to run to see if the man will follow suit. Sure enough, he does.

Luckily the man eventually seems to give up, though he still seems to be watching her from a distance. Lacie ends up safe back home, but she didn't even accomplish what she set out to do that afternoon.

“I couldn’t even finish my run,” she concludes. “I only ran like a mile and a half. I wanted to do 3 miles, but no—creepy men just had to be creepy f****** men today.”

Watch the harrowing encounter here:

@lacie_kraatz

#foryou #ladies #awareness

Countless women empathized with Lacie in the comments section. Clearly, this was not a unique circumstance.

“What I do when I’m being followed is act feral,” yet another person shared. “Like I’ll bark and growl really loud and flail my arms around. If you look crazy, you're doin' it right.”

Another added, “Man, nothing pisses me off more than men who make me feel uncomfortable doing things that I NEED to do for my health and well-being.”

Others tried to give their own tips for handling the situation, from finding nearby police or fire stations to using a variety of running trails to simply notifying the first visible passerby of what’s happening and asking to stand with them.

And of course, the resounding advice was to use the public space, and modern-day technology, to one’s advantage.

As one person wrote, “Girls we have got to normalize turning around and yelling at people following us. Let them know you know, take pictures of them, scream, make a scene."

Experts say the most important thing is to stay in a populated area as long as you're being followed. If you can pop into a store, do it. And always let a trusted friend or loved one know where you are. Giving a family member access to Find My Phone or a similar tracking app could be a lifesaver.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It’d be nice if these kinds of unsettling interactions didn’t exist. But here we are.

Some estimates say around 75% of women have been followed by a stranger at some point in their lives; a shocking, tragic statistic. They're also around four times as likely to be continuously stalked compared to men. It's not fair that women and girls have to deal with this, and that they're forced to develop a keep instinct for when danger is present.

At the very least, it’s good that women are speaking up more so that these situations are easier to spot early on and women can know how to navigate them in the safest way possible.

And as for Lacie, she went on to join the US Coast Guard and regularly posts updates about her life in the military. Safe to say she has no problem taking care of herself these days.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Family

Kate Winslet shares sage advice for complimenting girls and women are loving it

So many women say they never heard things like this growing up.

Photo credit: Maggie (Maggiejumps) from Palm Springs, United States

Kate Winslet at the Palm Film Festival, 2007

The way we see ourselves is influenced greatly by those around us, especially during out formative years. The words of our parents and other family members, our friends and teachers, acquaintances and random strangers can have a big impact on our self-image and sense of confidence—for better and for worse.

That's part of why paying others compliments is so powerful. We all know that negative words can stick with us, but kind ones can too. Especially if we pay attention to the way in which we offer kids a compliment, as actress Kate Winslet explained on the How to Fail with Elizabeth Day podcast.

"When we compliment our children, particularly our girls—and any mother who is listening, please remember this," she said. "There is so much negativity that young girls are hearing from the world, just because that’s how the world is, but also because, very sadly, many of them are on social media and are exposed to an unnecessary level of negativity every day of their lives. If we do not tell them that they are beautiful and that we are so proud of who they are, they might not hear it from anyone else. So you have to say it."

"And there’s also a way of saying to your child, 'I love you and you’re amazing,'" she continued. "There’s that, but there’s also, 'Do you know what I love? The way you see the world and the way you dress with so much pride. I just really admire that.' That will land on a teenage girl’s ear much better than 'You look lovely, darling.' That's in one ear and out the other because they expect us to say that and they've heard us say it a million times before. But saying, 'My god, you look so strong and vibrant. Never ever lose the pride you take in how you walk through the world. It's amazing.'"

Winslet's message resonated with so many women, especially those who themselves had not heard compliments like this growing up. Check out these comments:

"When I was a kid, I remember looking in the mirror and crying because I thought I was ugly. Like young, second grade maybe. And my mom was in the room and all she said was stop it. And I really needed to hear kind loving words."

"Oh goodness, I’ve never heard those things my whole life (entirely the opposite!) but I’ll be damned if my little girl (and my son too because that equally matters in such a judgemental world!) ever feels she’s no enough. I’m forever telling her how beautiful she is, how sparkly she shines but also how strong she is, how brave, powerful, kind, funny, loving and magical. I do everything in my power to be body confident around her and so much so I’ve slowly started to love myself a little more too. Words are powerful, actions are powerful. Standing in the mirror telling myself whilst little eyes and ears are watching ‘I love the way my belly wobbles, I’m proud of my body because it grew my precious children’ is hopefully what they will remember as the grow and never once wonder if they should be more or less, or anything other than their perfectly imperfect self. 💕"

"Not me literally crying because my mom has NEVER said any of these things to me.."

"Me too 💕💕 I don't plan on having kids but I do plan on telling all my friends future kids this as much as I can and I'm so excited for that ❤️"

"Same girl. In fact I was told I was a waste of fresh air and would never be anything. I tell my 6yo at least 5 times a day how amazing and beautiful she is, and how proud I am of her. She is literally healing my heart 🥰💜"

"Aame. Not even the, 'you look lovely darling' part."

"Me neither..I just got negative messages from my mum as a child. A part of me still thinks Im not pretty or good enough. But you know what, I'm working hard to remind my daughter every single day that she is strong, smart, beautiful, wise, intelligent...In a certain way Im healing too my inner child at the same time I give her a high confidence."

"Growing up in the 80s I was never told this either and never thought of myself as pretty or special . Now that I have children and tell them how proud I am of them and how beautiful/handsome they are , I realise how bad my self esteem is / was. I was loved but didn’t get that type of validation. So now I am making sure my children know how beautiful and special they are."

As much as girls get a particularly heaving helping of negativity from society, as some pointed out, boys need to hear these kinds of compliments as well.

"Say it all to the boys too, please!!"

"Agree actually and I don’t have sons I have two girls. But I think this massively applies to boys also."

"I love Love love this woman. I am a mum of a daughter and two boys. I always notice when my daughter walks in the room ready for a compliment, my sons are also waiting for the compliment but without being so obvious and when they get it, their faces light up. So let’s say it to boys and girls. How proud they make us just because they have been born even or How beautiful they are because their pureness shines through from their little hearts. Even during the temper tantrums and stroppy teenage years 🙌❤️"

"Boys can be very sensitive, society has just dictated that they must have a tougher exterior. I am a Mum of two boys and feel that this is an equally important message for boys and girls - all kids."

"Was going to say the same thing. I have 2 boys and they need this just as much as my daughter does."

It's true. We all perk up a bit when we receive a compliment, especially when it reflects something specific about our character and not just something surface or generic. Kate Winslet's advice is a good reminder of how to compliment anyone of any age or gender effectively.


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Family

A photographer mom shoots portraits of girls in sparkly dresses and sports equipment because YES

It's already been shared 175,000 times. ❤️❤️❤️

HMP Couture Imagery

Some of the HMP Couture sports models



This one's for the girls who know you don't have to chose between sparkles and sports.

For too long, girls have been sent the message that they have to be either/or. You're either a girly-girl or a tomboy. You're either into sparkly princesses or sports practices. From the early days of childhood, we're told in bold and subtle ways to squeeze ourselves into separate boxes.

But those boxes are bullspit, and most of us know it. Girls don't have to choose between feeling beautiful and being badass. We can be both at the same time.

Perhaps that's why a portrait shoot shared by HMP Couture Imagery showing girls dressed up in fancy dresses andsports equipment has gone insanely viral. The shoot is called "Because you can do it all," and in just a few days it has already been shared 175,000+ times.

The woman who photographed the shoot says a comment from a fellow mom sparked the idea.

Heather Mitchell, the photographer from Alabama who runs HMP Couture Imagery, told Upworthy how the portrait shoot came about.

"My youngest daughter is 8 and she is trying softball this year for the first time," said Mitchell. "We were at practice a few weeks ago and I was talking with the other moms. I was saying that I hoped Paislee learned to love the game because she was athletic. One of the moms told me that she was not athletic, that she was a girly-girl."

"I couldn't sleep that night," Mitchell continued. "All I could think was, 'Why does she have to choose?' I played every sport my school offered and wore lipstick to every game. So the next day we went to the studio and created her shot."

Mitchell says she only spent about three minutes shooting because she knew exactly what she wanted to create. After she posted the photos of Paislee to her personal Facebook page, she got a ton of requests from other parents for the same kind of shoot. After adding two days to the schedule, they sold out in an hour—and the requests just keep on coming.


Mitchell hopes that girls see these photos and realize that they don't have to choose one identity.

The idea that crinoline and cleats can't exist in the same mental space is silly, but common. Girls (and boys for that matter) can love pretty things and kick butt at sports. They don't have to be one thing or the other.

"My parent taught me that I could be anything I wanted growing up," Mitchell told Upworthy. "I didn't realize till I was much older that everyone is not that blessed."

These photos are an excellent reminder to questions our assumptions and not place unnecessary limits on anyone—and an empowering example for girls who don't fit neatly into a socially constructed box.

"I hope that every little girl that sees this series can see that there is no box," says Mitchell. "Whatever their dreams are they can achieve."


This article originally appeared on 4.17.19


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Education

Norway banned smart phones in schools and it has been very good for young girls

Should they be banned in schools everywhere?

via Yan Krukau/Pexels

A group of students staring at their phones.

The Norwegian government is spearheading a significant initiative to prohibit students from having smartphones in schools. This move comes in the wake of compelling studies demonstrating the positive impact of removing these devices from students’ hands and allowing them to focus more on their learning.

The effects have been particularly beneficial for girls.

Over the past few years, smartphone bans have cropped up in several school districts throughout Norway, allowing researchers to study how the bans affected students. Sara Abrahamsson, a postdoctoral fellow at the Norwegian Institute of Public Health, analyzed students at 400 middle schools and found that the bans had psychological and academic benefits.

The Norwegian Institute of Public Health published the results.

1 Girls made fewer appointments for psychological help

The study found that there was a significant decrease in the number of visits that girls made to see a psychological specialist for mental health issues. “Relative to pretreatment this is a significant decline by almost 60% in the number of visits,” Abrahamsson wrote in the study.

2. Steep drop in bullying

The study shows that girls experienced a 46% reduction in bullying after smartphone bans were enacted and boys had a 43% reduction.

smartphone, smartphone ban, norway

Boys looking at memes on a smartphone.

via Max Fischer/Pexels

3. Improved grades for girls

The study revealed that introducing a smartphone ban at the beginning of middle school improved girls' GPAs and increased their chances of enrolling in an academic-oriented high school track versus a vocational study. On the other hand, the ban appeared to have no notable effect on boys’ GPA, teacher-assigned grades, or likelihood of pursuing an academic high school track.

4. The ban had a more significant effect on economically disadvantaged girls

The study found that the ban resulted in greater benefits for economically disadvantaged girls regarding academic performance, appointments for psychological symptoms and the probability of attending an academically focused high school.

The positive impact that the bans have on girls is significant, given the fact that studies show they’ve been the most deeply affected by the rise in mental health issues amongst young people that have coincided with smartphone adaptation.

One of the most disturbing trends is the dramatic rise in suicide rates among girls in developed nations.

smartphones in schools, norway, smartphone ban

Students taking a selfie in school.

via RDNE Stock Project

Jonathan Haidt, author of “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” and advocate for banning smartphones in schools, explained why smartphone use is more damaging for girls than boys.

“There is a special relationship between social media and girls,” Haidt told “The Reason Interview with Nick Gillespie” podcast. “When boys get together … they're likely to organize themselves into groups to compete [on multiplayer video games].”

“Girls are much more interested in talking about relationships. Who is on the outs with whom? Who's dating who? They have a more developmental map of the social space,” Haidt continued.

When there is conflict within peer groups, social media poses a much greater threat to girls.

“Boys' aggression is ultimately backed up by the threat of physical domination and punching or pain, " Haidt continued. “Girls' aggression is equal in magnitude, but it's aimed at relationships and reputation. It's called relational aggression. Video games, if anything, prevent boys from getting in fights. … The platform settles everything. But girls' relational aggression is amplified. The worst year of bullying is seventh grade. I'm really focused on middle school.”


This article originally appeared on 4.25.24


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