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gen x

Pop Culture

I convinced my Gen Z kids to watch 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions surprised me

Gen X and Gen Z apparently view "inspiring" very differently.

Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved movie from my youth that I didn't expect to be problematic, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpected negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

— (@)

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They loved the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The traumatize part I get—that film gets very heavy all of a sudden. But in discussing it further, I uncovered three main generational differences that impacted their "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for it, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory.

— (@)

But also to be fair, Gen X never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X overlooked

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could be seen as. My young Gen X lens saw him and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

My Gen Z kids' reactions aren't wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without them feeling traumatized by the experience.

This article originally appeared in January

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Culture

Gen Xers are admitting the 17 things that baby boomers got right

Got to give credit where credit is due.

via Shvets Production/Pexels

A baby boomer lifting weights.

It’s a tale as old as humanity itself; as the older generations age, the younger ones will criticize them for the world they left them. These days, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) are taking the most heat from the generations who came after, Gen X (1965 to 1980), millennials (1981 to 1996), and Gen Z (1997 to 2012). A big reason boomers take a lot of heat is that some believe they changed their values from the hippie days of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s to become the self-absorbed “Me” generation.

Baby boomers are also often criticized for hoarding wealth while younger generations struggled and for being in power during years of environmental neglect. Boomers are also known for having a “bootstraps” mentality where they more likely to tell young people to “suck it up” instead of seeing systemic inequalities that make it harder for young people to achieve the same success as those who came before.

However, the boomers didn’t do everything wrong. Younger people should give them credit for how they advanced society, especially in the world of women’s rights. They should also acknowledge their incredible contributions to music, whether it’s the rock revolution of the late ‘60s. Pop artists such as Prince and Michael Jackson and great filmmakers who rose to prominence in the '70s, such as Steven Spielberg and David Lynch.

To give credit where credit is due, a Redditor posted on the Gen X page asking fellow members of his generation to admit the things boomers were right about. “It’s become fashionable to blame Boomers for all ills in the world and to demonize them. As Gen-X, Gen Z will even give us the ‘Okay, Boomer’ tripe,” they wrote. “But from a Gen X perspective, what do you see as them being right about?”

Here are 17 things that Gen Xers say boomers were right about.

1. Boomer women changed the workplace

"Boomer women paved a huge path for younger generations in the workplace. It wasn’t until the early 70’s that women could get credit cards or even bank accounts without their husband’s permission. It’s actually really sad that we have forgotten how hard it was for previous generations of women."

"Tag onto this, mortgage and housing laws! No woman could get a mortgage without her father, brother, or husband co-signing no matter HOW MUCH money she made. Same for redlining and fair lending laws."

2. Music

"Those boomers came up with some pretty f***ing fantastic music."

3. Casual clothing

"I appreciate that they introduced comfortable, casual clothing as an everyday thing. Earlier generations had mostly very structured clothing, but the young boomers burned their bras."

"It’s crazy to look at old photos and see even impoverished people (by western standards) wearing thick scratchy wool suits whenever they’re out in public. I’m so grateful for my Adidas athleisure clothes!"

"My uncle mentioned that one year in the late '60s everyone just stopped wearing a tie to their college classes."

4. Modern technology

"The boomers brought us the computers, software and cellular phones we’re all using to bitch about them. Pretty rich."

5. They were good teachers

"Controversial take...teaching. My boomer teachers in high school were fantastic. Public schooling was totally different back then (1970s thru 80s), but they "liberalized" public education from the Eisenhower era. I'm glad I had hippie teachers."

"I think with this it’s important to remember that that there were fewer jobs that women were able to enter with ease, even back in the 80’s, so we had the cream of the crop in terms of teachers then, IMO."

6. They ended rampant sexual harassment

"As I mentioned in a previous discussion, it would largely have been Boomers (more the later Generation Jones side rather than the earlier ones) who pushed to reduce sexual harassment in the workplace. This occurred mostly through law, but also through social norms."

7. They were more collective

"Overall, they are still a more of a collective culture. More sense of community, whether church, neighborhood association, meetup groups, etc. I feel like we've swung too far in the other direction. Every following generation seems more lonely- people are more aloof and not loyal to any particular group. People don't know their neighbors."

"There was this understanding that you talked to your neighbors, even if you didn't really like them. And sometimes you might change your mind. Toleration, even with people you're not fond of."

8. The hippies

"I will always love the peace, not war, flower child. Let’s all take psychedelics and love each other thing. Too bad it didn’t last. It might have been a disaster, but considering where we are now?"

9. They raised (some of) Gen X

"Us."

"Yes, but in a twisted way: they got us right by neglecting us to the point of ferality, and that’s why we are who we are now. Wouldn’t trade it but can’t necessarily give them props for it."

"But which generation is more likely to survive an apocalypse? And the world seems to be headed that way, so our feral upbringing might come in handy."

"My mom told me to go outside and play. All the bike riding, running around and swimming has made us healthier than the younger generations."

10. They're more sociable

"Being able to have nice conversations at the workplace. Now I work with GenZ and Millennials and nobody can carry a conversation."

"I have noticed that too. Not all of them, but a lot. It's so sad, and a little dangerous when you aren't paying attention to what is going on around you."

11. Hard workers

"Boomers had tremendous work ethic, and lay the foundation of many institutions we still rely on today. These may need to evolve and be upgraded over time, but it shouldn't take away their achievement what they were able to advance. Many boomers worked through absolutely shitty labor conditions with half the protections we have today, and did it to feed their families."

"They understood you needed to work/work hard to get the things you wanted in life, earning your place in the workplace...instead of showing up on day 1 being entitled to be at the top of the salary scale."

12. They shook things up

"In all honesty, and I think it depends on how you're brought up whether you see this as a positive or negative, but they were instrumental in the cosmic level change in American culture. Whether we are talking about something simple like "acceptable hairatyles" and clothing to more heavy topics like attitudes towards sex and sexuality and equal rights. The reality is that they shook up the standards of the time. And for the most part, I think it has had positive impacts. When we look at what people complain about now through the lens of the '40s and '50s, one can't deny that many of those topics would never see the light of day and could lead to dangerous outcomes for those bringing them up. And I'm not talking about the heavy hitters (for that time) like gay marriage (or gay anything, really) or interracial relationships, but the trivial stuff like women wearing pants, saying words like 'pe is' and 'vagina' out loud, or wearing dark socks with tennis shoes and/or shorts on."

13. Lowered the voting age

"They lowered the voting age to 18. They were being sent to war, and they weren’t old enough to vote for the f***ers who were sending them."

14. Expanded America's palate

"I feel boomers are where food started to get more diverse in the USA. I collect old cookbooks and it's interesting to see the changes in menus."

15. They used their numbers to their advantage

"Baby boomers used their vast numbers in the US to influence policy. While the decision makers were older, BB’s in their twenties were out there taking collective action to bring attention to important social and environmental causes. They taught us not to feel helpless and to act on your principles. (At least some of them did. A bunch of them were yuppies too! Because in the end, there is variety in people and in their values.)"

"Civil rights greatly advanced. Things aren’t perfect yet but the amount of progress the Boomers brought to the status quo at the time should not be forgotten."

16. Ended the draft

"They successfully ended the draft. However, I'd say Nixon and the gang figured out that actually works better for the War Machine. See, an all-volunteer Army has recruitment issues all the time, but before when Johnny was drafted and killed in a 'senseless war,' the whole neighborhood got very upset and vocal. Today, when Johnny (Gen X) volunteers, it's just a job. When Johnny gets killed by an IED in Iraq, it's a shame and everyone's sad, but the neighborhood can brush off the grief and say, 'Well, he did volunteer...'"

17. They had good sound systems

"The commitment some boomers had to home stereo systems and record collections. I learned just how good music could sound from boomer relatives who spent a small fortune on speakers, components, LPs, reel to reel, etc. It inspired me and I’ve always taken home stereo seriously, buying the best that I could afford while saving money by not buying things like digital surround sound systems and nice TVs. I’d rather spend the money on records and better speakers!"

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Joy

Comedian's viral video perfectly nails how each generation arrives at someone's house

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Samuel Peter/Pexels

Boomers knock. Millennials and Gen Z text "here."

Playing with the contrasts between generations has become a modern pastime, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. Generation gaps have always existed, of course, but the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, sometimes creating challenges, but often resulting in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

And now, comedian Jake Lambert has compared how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he went on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

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"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continued. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concluded. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

People felt alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg 😂😂"

Some people didn't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert nailed the generational generalities across the board—and did so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

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History (Education)

Gen Xers and Boomers share things that used to be 'normal' but are 'boundary crossing' today

Birthday spankings, school paddlings and more.

Photo by lil artsy/Pexels

People used to just light up wherever and whenever they pleased.

How many times have you looked back to things you thought were "normal" from your childhood and thought "Huh, that was actually kinda weird in hindsight"? Times change, and what's considered "normal and acceptable" change with them. That's not automatically good or bad, necessarily, but hopefully humanity is evolving such that we learn from our mistakes and recognize room for improvement.

In that vein, someone asked Gen Xers and Boomers on Reddit, "What are some things that would be considered rude or boundary crossing today but were perfectly normal and acceptable when you were growing up?" and the answers reveal how much has shifted in the past handful of decades.

If you're over 40, enjoy this slightly disturbing trip down memory lane. If you're under 40, yes, all of these things really happened on a regular basis.

Scolding other people's kids (even strangers)

Raising a child was seen as more of a community effort than it is today, which resulted in perfect strangers doling out discipline.

"Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers."

via GIPHY

"Those were the lessons that stuck the most too for me. When a family friend or stranger corrected me I knew without doubt I done f'd up. I didn't like the trend during the late 80's into 90's of everyone telling each other to mind their own business and not correct a child that wasn't theirs ~ horrible logic that I feel totally contributed to where we are at today with nobody considering other peoples opinions on things."

"OMG yes! in my neighborhood, whoever's house you were at, if you acted up, their mom was expected to let you know, and even send you home! it's just how things were."

"Kids were basically community property."

Showing up or dropping by unannounced

Before cell phones, people didn't always call or text before going to someone's house. Company could just show up at any time. People had snacks on hand specifically for unexpected guests. It was a thing.

"Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket."

"You never knew who, or how many, would show up at our house on a Friday night for a game of penny ante poker or Yahtzee in the 60's and 70's."

"I do miss that. We always had extra snacks for guests available because we never knew when someone might just show up."

via GIPHY

"We always had a Pepperidge Farms Coconut cake in the freezer. My mother would take it out to thaw as soon as company showed up."

"A corollary of this was that you were also expected to have your clothes on and be somewhat presentable while you were at home, since you never know who would be dropping by."

"Hell, me and my friends would just walk into each other's house like we lived there. None of the parents seemed to mind either. I often ended up eating meals at their homes and them at mine."

Birthday spankings

Okay, yeah, this one is weird. It was a tradition to get a spanking for every year of your life on your birthday, and it wasn't even just parents who did this. Teachers, your parents' friends, etc.

"All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird."

"And a pinch to grow an inch."

"My 4th grade teacher did this to all of us in front of the whole class. She ended it with a "pinch to grow on" and literally pinched our butts. This was around 2001 in Indianapolis. I don't recall anyone ever having an issue with it at the time, but looking back it was definitely odd. She was a great teacher and I have nothing bad to say about her at all. It was just a different time."

via GIPHY

"Yessssss! I'm in MD and was in elementary school in the 80's. If it was our birthday we would pick another kid to spank us in front of the whole grade, so if turning 9 you would get 9 smacks on your butt and all the kids would shout "ONE! TWO!..." 😂😂😂😂 I can't imagine that happening now!"

"Oh god! In a school club we would all line up and the birthday girl to crawl between all our legs as we spanked her on birthdays. What a crazy tradition!"

"The spanking machine! Kids would line up in a row, legs open, and you would crawl through, while kids slapped your butt. Sometimes singing 'today is spankin’ day!'"

Actual spankings. With a paddle. At school.

School principals, vice principals and sometimes teachers kept a paddle at their desk, which would be used to whack kids who misbehaved. Corporal punishment was the gold standard for behavior modification. Hacking, whacking, paddling—so any names for this woefully outdated practice.

"The big paddle that one of the teachers would possess that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed."

"The (completely backward) school I attended in 7th grade in 1999-2000 still spanked kids. My math teacher spanked a kid in class at least once a week. This was the deep south and very different from other schools I went to, it was quite the culture shock."

via GIPHY

"I would get the paddle or else my desk kicked over while I was in it, my head would hit that floor HARD! I don’t know which was worse."

"In 1987 my mom walked me into the school office and told everyone including the principle that under NO circumstances is anyone to paddle or spank me for discipline and if I misbehaved they were to simply call her about it. Their jaws dropped. That would not have happened anyways because I was a very well behaved and respectful child."

"I definitely got the big paddle in the vice principal's office."

Smoking indoors everywhere

It's impossible to explain to young people today how ubiquitous smoking used to be. Like, it was considered rude not to have ashtrays in your home. High schools had smoking areas. Restaurants, airplanes, waiting rooms—people smoked everywhere.

"I can recall the nurses at the triage in the hospital in my home town, smoking away while working. The 80s man, crazy time."

"I was born in 82, there’s a picture of my mother holding me shortly after I was born, laying in a hospital bed, and on her bedside table is a pack of reds and an ashtray."

via GIPHY

"And on airplanes and trains. I remember riding the L in Chicago with people smoking on the cars."

"Smoking in class at college."

"Smoking in grocery stores and putting out butts on the floor.

Teachers with ash trays on their desks smoking during class."

"My parents didn't smoke, but they (1970s) kept a guest ashtray in the house in case a visitor wanted to light up. Complained endlessly about the smoke smell once the person was gone, but it would have been rude to tell them to take it outside or wait."

Sexual harassment

Not that this was ever normal or acceptable, but it was tolerated to a disturbing level.

"Until Anita Hill, I had never even heard the term Sexual Harassment. I literally had no idea it was a thing. You were female, you were employed, men could make insistent advances with zero repercussions. One of my co-workers finally slept with the boss just to try to get him to leave her alone. This was NORMAL. We expected it to happen and accepted that it would, we just had to deal with it."

via GIPHY

"I was told to lighten up because it was a compliment."

" I got my first job in 1973 when I was 15. I worked in the restaurant business and waited tables all through college. It was pervasive and customers (men) would say many unwanted things as well. My first adult job was selling pharmaceuticals in 1984 and the first thing my regional manager told me during orientation was if a doctor did or said anything inappropriate handle it anyway you saw fit and then call and tell me about. He made it clear we didn’t have to put up with any BS and were free to slap anyone if we needed to. By the nineties sexual harassment wasn’t gone but was getting called out in a big way. Until there was a name for sexual harassment we knew we were uncomfortable but didn’t really have a way to express it in a meaningful and united manner."

"My friends and I were grabbed constantly in middle school by boys in early 90s. It never occurred to us to tell anyone and I honestly don’t think they would have cared. We just shared our shame amongst ourselves."

"Men would randomly grab and touch women all the time when I was growing up. Boomers were the worst about it, but I’m GenX and even we had it somewhat normalized. We’d gotten a clue that it wasn’t great, but we hadn’t yet realized it was actually sexual assault when someone would fondle your butt or breasts unbidden. Or when someone would grab you and kiss you. If you complained you were told to lighten up."

The drastic policing of what women wore under their clothes

Imagine having all the girls line up in gym class while the teacher runs his finger down each girl's back to make sure she was wearing a bra. Imagine it being unheard of to not wear pantyhose and show bare skin on your legs while wearing a skirt. We still police what women and girls wear in some places, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

"I’ve been told that women were expected to wear 'foundation garments' at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles."

via GIPHY

"In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school."

"Until 1999, I was required to wear pantyhose at work. Nuts! And they dictated 'suntan' color!"

"Not sure what I spent more $ on - pantyhose or clear nail polish to stop the runs."

"I remember being a kid in the 90s my mom going from store to store looking for slips to put under my dresses, she had a whole section of her closet devoted to them. I hated them and didn't understand their purpose. Still don't. I'm so glad those are in the past."

People shared other things as well, such as how common it was to touch total strangers or to cut through people's yards to get to where you were going, and it's a wild ride through shifting social norms. Some things are definitely best left in the past, but some lend themselves to a stronger sense of community and might be worth revisiting. It does make you wonder what things from today will show up on a list like this decades from now.

You can see more on the r/AskOldPeople thread here.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Gen X has hit 'that stage' of life and is not handling it very well

We are NOT prepared for Salt-n-Pepa to replace Michael McDonald in the waiting room at the doctor's office, thankyouverymuch.

The Holderness Family/Facebook

Gen X is eating dinner earlier and earlier. It's happening.

The thing about Gen X being in our 40s and 50s now is that we were never supposed to get "old." Like, we're the cool, aloof grunge generation of young tech geniuses. Most of the giants that everyone uses every day—Google, Amazon, YouTube—came from Gen X. Our generation is both "Friends" and "The Office." We are, like, relevant, dammit.

And also, our backs hurt, we need reading glasses, our kids are in college and how in the name of Jennifer Aniston's skincare regimen did we get here?

It's weird to reach the stage when there's no doubt that you aren't young anymore. Not that Gen X is old—50 is the new 30, you know—but we're definitely not young. And it seems like every day there's something new that comes along to shove that fact right in our faces. When did hair start growing out of that spot? Why do I suddenly hate driving at night? Why is this restaurant so loud? Does that skin on my arm look…crepey?

As they so often do, Penn and Kim Holderness from The Holderness Family have captured the Gen X existential crisis in a video that has us both nodding a long and laughing out loud. Salt-n-Pepa in the waiting room at the doctor's office? Uh, no. That's a line we are not ready to cross yet. Nirvana being played on the Classic Rock station? Nope, not prepared for that, either.

Watch:

Hoo boy, the denial is real, isn't it? We grew up on "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, for goodness sake, and it's starting to feel like we made a wrong choice a chapter or two back and suddenly landed our entire generation in a time warp. This isn't real, is it? Thirty years ago was the 1970s. That's just a Gen X fact. So what if we've lived long enough for our high school fashions to go out of style and then back into style and then back out of style again?

Seriously, though, we can either lament our age and stage in life or we can laugh about it, and people are grateful to the Holdernesses for assisting with the latter. Gen X fans are also thrilled to see their own experiences being validated, because at this point, we've all had that moment in the grocery store or the waiting room when one of our jams came on and we immediately went into a panic.

"They were playing The Cure in the grocery store and I almost started crying," wrote one commenter. "I mean, how 'alternative' can you be if you're being played in Krogers? You guys are great! Thanks for making us laugh."

"I couldn’t believe it when I heard Bohemian Rhapsody being played in Walmart," shared another. "That was edgy in my day."

"I know!!! Bon Jovi at the grocery store!!! That was my clue in!!" added another.

"Long live Gen Xers! We have to be strong!! We can get through this together!! #NKOTBmeetsAARP" wrote on commenter.You can find more from the Holderness Family on their Facebook page, their podcast and their website, theholdernessfamily.com.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Health

Why 'boomer panic' is a real thing, not just generational bashing

There's a heartbreaking reason behind the problem.

via Canva/Photos

What is "boomer panic"?

In a video posted in September 2023, TikToker @myexistentialdread used the phrase “boomer panic” to explain how baby boomers (1946 to 1964) can quickly become unhinged when faced with the most minor problems. It all started when she visited a Lowe’s hardware store and encountered a boomer-aged woman working at the check-out stand.

“I had a dowel that didn’t have a price tag on it, whatever, so I ran back and took a photo of the price tag. And as I was walking back towards her, I was holding up my phone… because I had multiple dowels and that was the one that didn’t have the price tag on it,” she said in the video. “And she looks at me and she goes, ‘I don’t know which one that is,’ and she starts like, panicking.” The TikToker said that the woman was “screechy, panicking for no reason.”

Many people raised by boomers understood what she meant by "boomer panic." "Boomer panic is such a good phrase for this! Minor inconvenience straight to panic," the most popular commenter wrote. And while there was some boomer-bashing in the comments, some younger people tried to explain why the older folks have such a hard time regulating their emotions: “From conversations with my mother, they weren’t allowed to make mistakes and were harshly punished if they did.” The TikToker responded, “A lot of people mentioned this, and it breaks my heart. I think you’re right,” Myexistentialdread responded.

A follow-up video by YourTango Editor Brian Sundholm tried to explain boomer panic in an empathetic way.

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“Well, it's likely that there actually was a reason the woman started panicking about a seemingly meaningless problem,” Sundholm said. “Most of us nowadays know the importance of recognizing and feeling our emotions.” Sundholm then quoted therapist Mitzi Bachman, who says that when people bottle up their emotions and refuse to express them, it can result in an "unhinged" reaction.

TikToker Gabi Day shared a similar phenomenon she noticed with her boomer mom; she called the behavior “anxiety-at-you.”

Day’s boomer mother was “reactive,” “nervous,” and “anxious” throughout her childhood. Now, she is still on edge with Day’s children. “She's immediately like gasping and just really like exaggerated physical reactions, and then, of course, that kind of startles my kid,” Day said. “Again, I know that this comes from a place of care. It's just a lot,” she continued.

@itsgabiday
It comes from a place of love but it is exhausting 🫠😬 #millennialmomsoftiktok #boomergrandma #reparenting #gentleparenting

There is a significant difference in emotional intelligence and regulation between how boomers were raised and how younger generations, such as Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z, were brought up. Boomers grew up when they had to bottle up their feelings to show their resilience. This can lead to growing anger, frustration with situations and people, chronic stress, and anxiety—all conditions that can lead to panicky, unhinged behavior.

Ultimately, Sundholm says that we should sympathize with boomers who have difficulty regulating their emotions and see it as an example of the great strides subsequent generations have made in managing their mental health. “It may seem a little harsh to call something "boomer panic," but in the context of how many of them were raised, it makes a lot of sense,” Sundholm says. “It also underlines the importance of emotional regulation skills and teaching them to future generations. And maybe most important, having compassion for those who never had a chance to learn them.”

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Gen X mom can’t understand why her Millenial and Gen Z kids watch TV with closed captions

She came around after she heard their reasoning.

via GibsonIsHere/TikTok and Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The generational caption debate is a big deal.

If you’re a Gen Xer or older, one surprising habit the younger generations developed is their love of subtitles or closed-captioning while watching TV. To older generations, closed-captioning was only for grandparents, the hearing impaired, or when watching the news in a restaurant or gym.

But these days, studies show that Millenials and Gen Z are big fans of captions and regularly turn them on when watching their favorite streaming platforms. A recent study found that more than half of Gen Z and Millenials prefer captions on when watching television. It’s believed that their preference for subtitles stems from the ubiquity of captioning on social media sites such as TikTok or Instagram.

This generational change perplexed TikTokker, teacher and Gen X mother, Kelly Gibson.

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

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Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

"I have three daughters, and they were here. Two of them are young millennials; the other one is an older Gen Z," Gibson explained in a video with over 400,000 views. "All of them were like, 'Why don't you have the captions on?'”

The mother couldn’t believe that her young kids preferred to watch TV like her grandparents. It just did not compute.

"My Gen X butt was shocked to find out that these young people have decided it's absolutely OK to watch movies with the captions going the whole time," she said jokingly.

But like a good mother, Gibson asked her girls why they preferred to watch TV with captioning, and their reason was straightforward. With subtitles, it’s easier not to lose track of the dialog if people in the room start talking.

"They get more out of it," Gibson explained. "If somebody talks to them in the middle of the show, they can still read and get what's going on even if they can't hear clearly. Why are young people so much smarter than us?"

At the end of the video, Gibson asked her followers whether they watch TV with subtitles on or off. "How many of you out there that are Millennials actually do this? And how many of you Gen Xers are so excited that this is potentially an option?" she asked.

Gibson received over 8,400 responses to her question, and people have a lot of different reasons for preferring to watch TV with captions.

“Millennial here. I have ADHD along with the occasional audio processing issues. I love captions. Also, sometimes I like crunchy movie snacks,” Jessileemorgan wrote. “We use the captions because I (GenX) hate the inability of the movie makers to keep sound consistent. Ex: explosions too loud conversation to quiet,” Lara Lytle added.

“My kids do this and since we can’t figure out how to turn it off when they leave, it’s become a staple. GenX here!” Kelly Piller wrote.

The interesting takeaway from the debate is that anti-caption people often believe that having writing on the screen distracts them from the movie. They’re too busy reading the bottom of the screen to feel the film's emotional impact or enjoy the acting and cinematography. However, those who are pro-caption say that it makes the film easier to understand and helps them stay involved with the film when there are distractions.

So who’s right? The person holding the remote.

This article originally appeared last year.

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