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Joy

Woman with unfortunate initials upset she can never wear monogrammed clothing

Some other folks responded that they have it worse.

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A woman who is frustrated with her name.

It’s fair to blame parents if they give their child a name and the initials spell out something unseemly or embarrassing. They should have considered this before giving the child the name. However, you can’t blame someone with funny initials after getting married because no one will reject the love of their life for having a last name that starts with the wrong letter.

A woman shared that she can’t stand her initials because she can’t wear monogrammed clothing. "[My initials] are the bane of my existence, and I can never have traditional monogramming (first, last, middle) without it being a sandwich." Yes, her initials, in the traditional monogram form, are BLT. They are a tasty option for lunch but probably not something you’d want on a fancy necklace or bathrobe. She also refuses to eat the sandwich. "Raw tomatoes are disgusting to me personally,” she adds.

Why is it that in traditional monogram form, a married woman’s initials are different than if she was writing them first, middle, and last? “A monogrammed gift for a woman should include her first, middle, and last initial or, if she is married, her first, maiden name, and married name initials. Traditionally, a woman's monogram is presented in first, last, and middle initial order,” The Monogram merchant writes.

For example, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy would have a traditional monogram of JKB.



Some commenters shared their initials, and many were worse than BLT.

"My friend's is AIDS, so dont worry, i remember in secondary school having to sew our initials on pillows for home economics. I felt bad for her."

"I’m D.M.B. - all I’m missing is the U."

"Mine are TB.... just as unappealing haha."

"My initials are BS, so don't feel bad. I get cracked on all the time."

"Hubs initials are ET. Cue 'ET phone home,' circa the '80s from all his so called friends at work."



"My initials are RAD, lol."

"I knew a girl with the initials PMS, I think food is better than that."

"Mine happen to spell 'ELF', and I hated it as a kid. Now I embrace it, lol."

"My brother’s are R.A.T. He kinda embraced it, an animal lover and all."

"I'm APE lol."



It was once believed that having unfortunate initials meant more than suffering the occasional embarrassment—they could take years off your life. In 1999, a study found that men with positive initials, such as WOW or JOY, lived 4.5 years longer than those with neutral initials, while those with negative initials, such as DIE or ROT, died 2.8 years later.

The idea was that people with negative initials subconsciously think less of themselves, which could lead to an unhealthy lifestyle compared to someone with positive initials. However, six years later, that study was debunked by a subsequent study that found there is “no persuasive biological theory of how longevity should be significantly affected by initials."

Pamela Redmond Satran, author of "Baby Names Now," says we should still consider initials when naming children.

"Every conventional naming book gives the guideline, 'Don't forget to look at the initials,'" Satran said, according to CBS News. "Even if the second study contradicts the first, and having bad initials is not going to shorten your life span, it could make what there is of your life less pleasant. And who wants to foist that on innocent children?"

This article originally appeared in January.

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Joy

17 people share the most tragic name they've ever encountered in real life

"I’m in healthcare, and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball."

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A woman is shocked by someone's name.

We live in an era where many parents want their children to have unique names to stand out. Studies show that uncommon names have gained popularity since the 1950s because American culture has become more individualistic. “As American culture has become more individualistic, parents have favored giving children names that help them stand out – and that means more unique names and fewer common names,” psychology professor Twenge told the BBC.

Recently, there’s been an added twist to the trend of parents electing more unique names: search engine optimization. In today’s world, where everything is online, it can be harder to stand out in search or on social media if you have a common name. Good luck finding someone with a name like Chris Smith or Mohammed Singh on LinkedIn.

The problem is that having a unique name is good, but if it comes off as too strange, it can cause real problems in life. Studies show that people with names too out of the ordinary have a harder time getting a job interview or finding romantic relationships.


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A viral Reddit thread is hilarious and sad because people shared the worst names they have ever heard in real life. Many are funny, but unfortunately, those people have had to live their lives having people constantly making fun of their names. We made a list of the 17 most “tragic” names, and here they are.

1. A very predictable name

"I once met a girl named Cliche."

2. A 2-time unfortunate name

"I had a customer named Dick Butts. I thought it was a joke, but one of the employees asked to see his driver's license and it was truly his name."

"Just introduce yourself as Richard at that point."

3. Clueless parents

"In elementary school, there was a boy named Famous. His younger sister was Fashion."

"Is his mom a youtube vlogger mom? its sounds like it."

"Parents must have been David Bowie fans."


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4. Tasty food, bad name

"I’m in healthcare and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball."

"I am Meatball, son of Meatloaf. You ate my father. Prepare to die."

5. Don't feed her after midnight

"An 80+ year old lady called Gremlin."

"If I met someone as a kid, or even now named Gremlin... I definitely want to hang out for a moment or two. As a kid with a weird name, there is some camaraderie there."

6. The prophetic name

"Messiahiscoming is, by far, the worse I've heard. It's beyond ridiculous. She was 12-14 years old and said nothing. Mother did all the talking."

"That's less of a name and more of a threat..."


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7. Pick a winner

"Met an elderly man with the name Booger."

"I have a three-month-old son that I call booger, and now I wonder if that will stick his whole life."

8. Come again?

"Once at work, I met a guy whose first name was Greg, which is not all that bad. The only thing is, is his last name was also Greg."

"In Australia, our education minister is the Honourable Grace Grace. I laugh every time."

9. Seagent Sergent

"In the military, there was this guy called Richard (Dick) Sergeant. Who was a Staff Sergeant. So his name was Staff Sergeant Dick Sergeant. He owned it though so good for him."

"In real life I knew a Sergeant Sergeant, a Major Major, and a Captain Captain."


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10. Take the whole bottle

"Clindamycin. Yes, spelled exactly the same way as the antibiotic. When questioned, the mom said, 'I just thought it was pretty.'"

"Friend from Eastern Kentucky knows a Syphilis but pronounced Si-Phillis. Her parents said the same thing that 'It sounded pretty.'"

11. It burns!

"My mom had a coworker who named her child Tequila."

"A friend I had said she met a lady that named her 3 daughters Tequila, Margarita, and Chardonnay."

"Got a missing child alert recently (he’s fine now, thankfully) for a kid named Whiskey. Not Whiskey, Wiskey. Couldn’t even bother to spell it right. Poor kid."

12. Did he play for Milwaukee?

"My sister's sister in law named her son Brewer literally because they are alcoholics."

"I know a boy named Blayze because his parents are dumb dumb potheads."


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13. Jump, Jump

"My dad's coworker is named Chris Cross. Edit: we are from west Texas. I've only know one other person with the same name."

"He was more into Saaaaaaailn.'"

14. Rock on, Ricky

"I taught a kid whose real name is Ricky Rock n’ Roll Smith."

"Sounds like a '90s WWF wrestler name."

15. Say that again?

"Guy named Ashley Hole who went by Ash."


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16. Can I buy a vowel?

"Cts. Parents were immigrants and chose random letters for an English name without knowing about vowels and consonants."

"So, the name is basically the sound a beer can makes when cracked open?"

17. Say it 3 times and he'll appear

"My brother went to school with a kid named William William William."

"Will Will Will, what do we have here?"

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Joy

17 of the funniest times people seriously messed up by mispronouncing someone's name

The name is Patty, not Potty.

via Canva

Three women having a laugh together.

Dale Carnegie famously quipped in his 1936 book "How to Win Friends and Influence People," “Remember that a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” This adage is proven true whenever someone mispronounces someone's name, creating an uncomfortable but often hilarious situation.

An English woman named Tabitha, who goes by Tabby, shared a funny story recently where someone got mad at her mother because, with her thick accent, she sounded like she was calling her daughter “Tubby,” which would be a terrible thing for a mom to do. So, Tabby asked other people to share their funny stories of having their name (or their dog’s) mispronounced.

The stories are funny, but they’re also a reminder that from time to time, just about all of us can screw up somebody’s name and that it’s ok to laugh it off if yours is the one that gets mangled. But you still have to wonder what some of these people had stuck in their ears to mishear a name so badly.

Here are 17 of the funniest times someone mispronounced a name.

1. Heather

"Ordered a pizza in French from a small local restaurant here in Quebec, I have a very difficult name for francophones to pronounce and I guess it wasn't clear over the phone. When I went to pick up and asked for the pizza for 'Heather' the lady was like OHHHH, HEATHER!! and handed me a pizza with 'Gisèle??' written on the box."



2. Ham-Butt the Dog

"I met a friendly couple and their friendly dogs. I asked for the dogs' names. The poodle was Toby, the french bulldog was Ham-Butt. I was delighted. This is the best name for a French bulldog ever. My wife walked up as I was petting these puppos. I was still riding high on the glory of such a perfectly matched name. I said: 'Babe babe babe, meet these dogs! This is Toby and this....(pause for dramatic effect) is Ham-Butt.' My wife was delighted. The friendly couple frowned in a confused way and then said: 'His name is Hamlet.' I was very disappointed."

3. Hor-rible

"My last name starts with the syllable 'Hor-'. One of the doctors I work with is an older Indian woman and likes to call people she considers friends by their last name. She was working with a resident and needed help so she literally just shouted 'WHORE' across the lab. The resident was mortified, but the boys in high school definitely said worse, so I just laughed."

4. Patty

"My mom’s name is Patricia and she has always been called Patty. When she was young, her and her family (including 3 older siblings) traveled to French Canada. A woman raved about how beautiful her name was 'Oh Potty, what a beautiful name!' My mom is now 64 and still gets called Potty every now and then."



5. Kevin

"I have a friend named Kevin. He and I went to lunch in a food court near work once, and they asked his name. When he told her, the lady taking his order responded 'that's a beautiful name!' His reaction was '..thanks?' and we kinda laughed it off. I mean, it's a common enough name, and it's not exactly what I'd consider 'beautiful.' Then we got his food and she had written his name as 'Heaven.'"

6. Daisy

"A nurse asked what our baby’s name was at her first doctor's appointment, and we said, Daisy. English is her second language and maybe she wasn’t expecting this name, but she looked a little shocked and asked us how to spell it. Soon, we realized she thought we said Jaisy... or maybe Jay-Z? I give her credit for not looking more horrified that we named our daughter Jay-Z."

7. Another great dog story

"I have a dog one: We are fostering a boy named Ranger...my 92-year-old grandma thinks his name is Reindeer."



8. Felicity

"Not an accent thing, but more like a pronunciation/not listening thing: but my daughter’s name is Felicity (pronounced exactly as Felicity is pronounced lol) and I have had people give me weird weird looks and go 'Velocity?' 'Facility?' 'Fallacy?' Here I thought I picked a totally normal, easy to say and spell name.... and now my daughter is stuck being called Velocity lol."

9. Fox

"My firstborn child turned 2 just two weeks before her little brother was born, so her enunciation wasn’t that great yet. We named the baby Fox. For a solid 6 months it sounded like my daughter was calling my son F!ck. 'Oh, f!ck! You’re awake!' 'I love baby f!ck!' Yep."

10. Rebecca

"I used to work for a hearing aid center, so I mostly spoke to old and hard-of-hearing people. I was always careful with the volume, speed, and pitch of my voice. We had this one sweet old lady client. I would call and say 'Hi, this is Rebecca from calling to confirm your appointment.' She’d reply “Oh, hi, Beatrice! I’ll be there!” I never bothered to correct her, mostly because it was cute and didn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Until one day, my coworker asked why she kept calling me Beatrice. The poor woman was embarrassed and didn’t know how she’d gotten my name so wrong! She’d never even known a Beatrice!"

11. Naughty Maureen

"I have a super nasal voice. At Starbucks, when I’ve said my name is Maureen, I’ve heard 'Morning,' 'Maury,' but once.... the dude had me repeat like 12 times and seemed to struggle writing it. He had written 'Horny.'"



12. Oh no, Annie

"It sounds contrived, but I swear this is exactly how it went down. My sixth-grade math teacher had a habit of calling students by the first letter of their name, followed by the first syllable of their last name. For instance, Kaiden Jackson would be K Jack, or Bailey Wellington would be B Well. No idea why he did it, but that was the nickname he'd use every once in a while to refer to any one of us. I've changed her name slightly, but it still works. He used this nickname technique on Annie Holsgrove. Yeah. He called an 11-year-old a-hole."

13. Jamorphus

"My husband and I have been around so many unique and uncommon names that nothing really phases us. So we never even thought about it when he had an appointment with 'Jamorphus.' They talked on the phone a few times, and he always asked for Jamorphus, and then eventually, they met, and he gave me the paperwork after, and I saw it was 'Joseph (Joe) Morfis' (not real spelling or anything). But we still laugh about it, and it's been like 10 years."

14. Clark

"My sweet brother Clark had a minor speech impediment as a kid. It resulted in lots of people thinking his name was 'Clock.' He still enunciates his name extremely carefully to make sure people don’t think he’s named after a timepiece."



15. Kyana

"Hi, I'm Kyana. Literally everyone: nice to meet you, Rihanna And this is why I hate Rihanna. I also get kenya a lot( really don't understand that one). Absolute favorite. Old lady at work can never remember my name and will literally call me anything with a k. One time she needed me and I let her loudly yell for Kahlua 4 times across the room before I asked her who she was trying to talk to."

16. Dennis on tap

"My ex-boyfriend ordered a pizza over the phone. When we got to the place to pick up the pizza, there was much confusion over our order. Finally, we got our food. The name they put on the box was 'Guiness.' My boyfriend's name is Dennis."

17. Tobi

"Freshman year of college I was going by Tobi, a name I no longer use. Ordered lunch at the on-campus diner, and the dude taking orders misheard and wrote 'Doobie' on the ticket. Yes, like that kind of Doobie.... The lady calling orders wouldn't even say it. I watched her look at the ticket, sigh very deeply, and call the order number instead. Walked up laughing and the first thing she said was, 'You're name's not Doobie, right? Please tell me it's not f*cking Doobie.' She was very relieved to learn that it wasn't."

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Family

Wife says husband's last name is so awful she can't give it to her kids. Is she right?

"I totally get we can’t shield kids from everything, and I understand the whole family ties thing, but c’mon."

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A wife pleads with her husband to change their child's name.

Today, schools are much more concerned with protecting children from bullying than in the past but parents still have to be aware that kids will be kids, and having a child with a funny name is bound to cause them trouble.

A mother is concerned about her future children having her husband's unfortunate last name of “Butt,” so she turned to Reddit and asked the namenerds forum to help her convince him to let their future kids ditch the surname in favor of something less likely to be ridiculed.

"My husband’s last name is Butt. Can someone please help me illuminate to him why this last name is less than ideal,” she asked the forum. “I totally get we can’t shield kids from everything and I understand the whole family ties thing, but c'mon. Am I being unreasonable by suggesting our future kid either take my name, a hybrid, or a new one altogether?"

The posters on the forum overwhelmingly supported her.

"I can see hubby being a bit of a stickler because he wants to keep the family name, but I find it a bit baffling that he doesn’t get why it would be a concern,” user Babelight wrote. “If you have to club him over the head with it, indicate that for children/young persons hearing the name, they would equate it to someone’s last name being ‘Pooh,’ ‘Vaginah’ or ‘Peenis/Peniss.’”

Other posters noted that her opinion is just as valid as her husband’s when naming their child.

"You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your husband's last name is objectively pretty awful, and of course, you don't want your child to have it. Also, even if it wasn't that bad, you would be still entitled to at least suggest that your child takes your last name since you are also going to be their parent,” SwordfishBrilliant40 wrote. “Also, he needs to think about his child, let's be honest, their life is going to be a lot easier with a ‘normal’/not bad’ last name."

Having a last name like Butt opens a child up to being bullied, which can lead to feelings of rejection, exclusion, isolation, diminished self-esteem and long-term mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety.

"I knew a kid named Zack Butt. Teased relentlessly. At every age," Kwam26 confirmed.

boy wearing blue button-up denim jacket sitting beside green fence

Bullying can cause lifelong damage.

Photo by Norbert Kundrak on Unsplash

There is also the practical problem of living in a digital world where algorithms often filter out names deemed offensive. This issue is known as the “Scunthorpe problem.” Back in the late ‘90s, people from the town of Scunthorpe in the UK couldn’t sign up on AOL because a filter blocked out the name due to the offensive term that sits in the middle of it.

The husband is proud of his family heritage and, possibly, of having learned to live with a name that would make most people chuckle. But it’s also understandable that his wife has a real problem bringing a child up in this world with a name that will make them the butt of jokes throughout their lives. With bullying objectively worse now than it was in the not-too-distant past thanks to social media, it makes sense for the mother to be as concerned as she is. Letting harsh words roll off one's back was easier without the Internet.

One wonders why this wasn’t discussed before the couple got married.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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