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Mom shares 'kind can' idea after 7-year-old expresses struggles with friends at school

She described the "kind can" as "a way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close.”

The "kind can" is a tool for helping kids connect with others.

At some point, most parents have to field questions, concerns, worries, anxieties, angst and sometimes downright despair from our kids over their relationships with other kids. Friendships can be messy. Bullying is a thing. When you pool together a couple dozen kids who are growing and changing and figuring out their emotions for most of the day, all manner of relational dynamics can occur.

Navigating the social landscape with our kids isn't easy. Each child is unique, some are more sensitive or aware of what's happening than others, and some need assistance with figuring out how to handle tough social situations. As parents, we don't want to swoop in and solve their problems, but we also don't want to leave them rudderless in a storm. We want to provide them with the tools and help them build the skills they'll need to steer their own ship.

One tool that can help a kid who is struggling to connect with their peers is intentional kindness. However, a blanket admonition to "be kind" is often too vague to help a kid in the midst of a social crisis. That's why one parent's "kind can" idea has gone viral—it offers a specific way to practice kindness in a way that's not overwhelming.

A 2022 post on LinkedIn and then on Facebook, Sasja Nieukerk-Chomos shared the idea, writing:

"'Mom, I hate them.'

'Them' being her friends at school.

This is what my 7-year-old confided to me as I was putting her to bed the other night.

I could have made light of her hatred, like I’ve done when she tells me she hates broccoli.

I could have gotten caught up in her anger: 'Who are these kids upsetting my daughter!?'

Instead, I asked her what was going on that her heart hurt so much.

Because under anger is usually hurt."

"Sure enough, the tears came pouring out as she told me about how her best friend only wanted to play with another girl, and how when she went to find others to play with they told her to go away. This had been happening all week.

'Why doesn’t anybody like me?'

I didn’t have an answer for that, but I did have a thought: It’s time for the Kind Can.

Suddenly I was 8 years old again, a grade 3 student who was having a rough start to the school year. I had a teacher I didn’t like, friendships had shifted, and I couldn’t seem to get along with anyone. I hated going to school.

My mom created a Kind Can.

She used a big Nescafe tin can (remember those?)

In the can went the names of every single one of my classmates. Each morning before school I would pull a name out of the can. That day I had to go out of my way to do something kind for them.

Not to have them do something in return.

For no other reason than to do something kind.

It wasn’t easy at first, but my mom encouraged me to keep trying, and helped me think of all the different ways I could show kindness to others.

It started to get really fun!

And then things shifted.

No longer caught up in my own mind about what others were ‘doing to me’, I was now focused on what I was doing for others.

Though there were no expectations of kindness in return, more and more kindness is what I got. I loved going to school!

I told my daughter about the Kind Can and her eyes got that little spark – the one that tells me she’s about to get creative.

So yes, she has big plans for just how fancy this can will be – much better than an old tin can she proclaimed! That’s our project.

A Kind Can.

A way to create more kindness.

A way to keep our hearts open even when they want to close."

People loved the kind can idea, with the post being shared more than 3,000 times. Some people pointed out the beauty of the wisdom in it being passed down through generations. Several parents wished that they had seen the idea when their own kids were going through some social struggles. Many commenters said that a lot of adults could use a kind can as well.

A kind can won't solve every friendship woe a child has, but goodness knows the world could use more kindness. Helping kids practice that virtue with a tool that makes it specific and fun is definitely a win-win.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim and Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi celebrate sharing the gold medal in high jump.

At the 2020 Tokyo Olympics when Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim and Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi both landed their high jumps at 2.37 meters, they were in the battle for Olympic gold. But when both jumpers missed the next mark—the Olympic record of 2.39 meters—three times each, they were officially tied for first place.

In such a tie, the athletes would usually do a "jump-off" to determine who wins gold and who wins silver. But as the official began to explain the options to Barshim and Tamberi, Barshim asked, "Can we have two golds?"

"It's possible," the official responded. "It depends, if you both decide..." And before he'd even told them how sharing the gold would work, the two jumpers looked at each other, nodded, and then launched into a wholesome and joyful celebration guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

Just watch:

(If you are unable to view the video above, check it out on NBC's YouTube channel here.)

The two jumpers have been competing against one another for more than a decade and are friends on and off the field, so getting to share the gold is a win-win—literally—for both of them. It's also a historic choice. According to the BBC, the last time competing track and field Olympians shared the gold medal podium was in 1912 during the Stockholm Summer Games.

The friendship and camaraderie between the two athletes are palpable and their immediate decision to share the gold truly embodies the Olympic spirit.

"I look at him, he looks at me, and we know it," Barshim said, according to the CBC. "We just look at each other and we know, that is it, it is done. There is no need."

"He is one of my best friends," he added, "not only on the track, but outside the track. We work together. This is a dream come true. It is the true spirit, the sportsman spirit, and we are here delivering this message."

Barshim was the silver medalist in the event in the Rio 2016 Olympics, and Tamberi suffered a career-threatening injury prior to those games, which took him out of medal contention.

"After my injuries, I just wanted to come back," Tamberi told CNN. "But now I have this gold, it's incredible. I dreamed of this so many times. I was told in 2016 just before Rio, there was a risk I wouldn't be able to compete anymore. It's been a long journey."

What a beautiful display of sportsmanship, excellence, and genuine human connection. This is what the Olympics are all about.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

Christina Applegate's Walk of Fame speech.

Christina Applegate was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on November 14, 2022. It was her first public appearance since announcing her multiple sclerosis diagnosis. While the Married… with Children alum cracked jokes, she also shined a spotlight on the importance of showing up for friends.

Applegate uses a cane to help her walk, but there was one unmistakable person standing behind her, quite literally holding her up at times—Katey Sagal. If you were a teen in the '90s you'll remember that Sagal played Peg Bundy, the mother of Applegate's Kelly Bundy in Married… with Children.

The speech was touching on its own and watching Sagal protectively stand and wait while her TV daughter-turned-friend spoke cranked up the emotional factor. Applegate's support team didn't stop there. Her TV brother David Faustino was in attendance as well as her two co-stars from Dead to Me. The star got pretty choked up explaining what they all meant to her.

Friendship is something that can easily be taken for granted and it doesn't always survive the tough moments of life. But it seems as if Applegate has found a group of friends that prove how important it is to build the family you want by taking inventory of the friends that show up. Applegate fought back tears when she said, "I don't have friends, I have family. These people take care of me. They take care of me every day of my life and without them, I don't know what I would do."

If you've ever needed a reminder on how important building your community is, watch Applegate's speech. The people that show up for the hard stuff are the ones you want to surround yourself with when celebrating the better times. Check out her speech below.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Celine Dion, Ludacris, and Alix Earle.

Do you have one of those friends who is “information adjacent” about many topics? Meaning that they come close to getting the name of an actor or TV show correct but fall short in the most hilarious way possible. Or, are you that person who can’t quite remember the name of a book, or you flub the occasional figure of speech?

If so, you’ll probably appreciate the super creative gift that TikTok user Kayla Foscarota, a 28-year-old teacher from Massachusetts, made for her friend Kellie. It’s an elegant-looking self-published book with all the names of famous people, movies, books, and TV shows that she has been mispronouncing over the years. Kayla even gave it a cover resembling the Apple Notes app, which is probably where she has been writing down all these mispronunciations over the years.

"For years, I've been writing down all of the things my friend Kellie confidently says, almost right but very wrong," Kayla opens the video.


The gift is a fantastic way of telling Kellie she loves her despite the fact that she has a pretty awful memory. The book features some epicly wrong pronunciations of celebrity names, such as “Lucifer” for Ludacris and “Salon Dione” for Celiene Dieon. Kellie also thought that model Alix Earl was “Earl Jones,” clearly, it was a mix-up with recently-deceased “Star Wars” star James Earl Jones.

The video received over 17 million views and even attracted the attention of Earle, who posted the most popular comment: “I will now be going by Earl Jones,” the Sports Illustrated model joked.

@kaylafosc

THE LIST #funnyvideo #funnymoments #fyp #foryoupage #alixearle #hbomax #itendswithus #viraltiktok #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #colleenhoover #ludacris #aubreyplaza #gameofthronestiktok #willferrell #sharpobjects @Alix Earle @HBO @Colleen Hoover @It Ends With Us @Celine Dion @Ludacris @Game of Thrones @Brooke Shields @WillFerrellOfficial

The video inspired a slew of commenters to share some of the funniest mispronunciations they’ve ever heard.

"Once, my mom said, 'I need to decompose,' when she meant decompress."

"This reminded me of when my brother referred to the Bermuda Triangle as the 'Bahama Pyramids.'"

"A friend of mine said backward therapy instead of reverse psychology."

"With my sis, 'Fix It Mike' = Wreck It Ralph."



"My bff once said, 'Ur making me unconscious' (self-conscious)."

"My sister is a master in this: she once referred to Stockholm Syndrome by naming it Helsinki Complex."

"An old coworker brought doughnuts to the office and said, 'I have perversions.' He meant provisions."

"My ex-boyfriend called fraternal twins nocturnal twins."

"Me when my cousin calls The Rock, The Brick."

"I work with a woman who very insistently calls Sydney Sweeney 'Sweeney Todd.'"



"My fiancé doesn’t let me live down that I forgot the word for ankles and called them 'foot wrists.'"

"My late grandmother thought it was Leonardo De Capuccino. May she rest in peace."

"My friend said white as a goat instead of white as a ghost."

Kayla, Kerrie, and millions on TikTok have had a great laugh over Kellie’s mispronunciations. But the video has an even deeper, sweeter side. There’s nothing more wonderful in a friend than someone who truly listens to you. Kayle took things a step further, and she not only listened to Kellie but took notes. Now, that’s true friendship.