finances

If it feels like right now is a tough time to be alive, you're not alone.

Modern conveniences have made basic survival easier for many of us, but the complexity and fast pace of modern life has a lot of people feeling down. The data scientists at Human Progress say we're "richer, healthier, better fed, better educated, and even more humane than ever before," according to their research—but the overall picture of happiness is a lot more murky in more economically developed areas like America and Western Europe.

A recent report about the falling happiness scores of young people "does not reveal the causes of the changes, but they come amid increasing concern at the impact of rising social media use, income inequalities, the housing crisis, and fears about war and climate change on the happiness of children and young people," according to The Guardian.

So what is it, exactly, that's got everyone down? Well, it's a lot of the same things, over and over.

Over a thousand people recently chimed in on a Reddit thread to discuss: "What's the biggest problem in your life right now?"

Here were a few of the most common responses:

Money

Almost everyone has stress and anxiety around finances. Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

"Not making enough money."

"I’m slowly sinking into debt because my income won’t cover my mortgage and bills, groceries, property tax, vehicle upkeep, unexpected expenses, etc. I recently pulled up some slack in a few areas but it’s still not enough. I need a plan."

"I make $18.20. I can't live like this anymore, I don't know what more to do. I've been applying to jobs, nothing."

"Lack of money. Money would literally solve all of my problems."

"No matter how hard I work the people in my life make more money than me and they ALL think im a lazy because of it."

Money troubles affect people of all sides of the economic and political spectrum and is a leading cause of stress in America, with over 72% of adults reporting it as one of their biggest problems. They say money can't buy happiness, but try telling that to the millions of Americans struggling with rising costs of living and stagnant wages.

Anxiety & Depression

Anxiety and depression are on the rise. Photo by Nik Shuliahin 💛💙 on Unsplash

"My anxiety. Not just 'oh I'm nervous for my test tmrw.' But 'I want to leave my house and go to the store but what if I have a panic attack and I'm far from home? I'll be in public and can't drive while panicking so I'll be trapped and alone.' So I stay at home if I'm not at work. I have no life besides work and my room."

"’[I']m so anxious all the time & I seek comfort in the familiar. I feel paralyzed"

"Mental health. Like I actually lost any will to do anything in life"

"My brain's complete lack of positive chemicals. I'd be shocked if it hasn't already completely purged them all."

Anxiety is a big, all-encompassing term—but for its many causes, it's definitely on the rise. A recent poll from the American Psychiatric Association says anxiety has been getting more and more common for years, with people worrying about things like safety, health, bills, and the impact of technology on day-to-day life.

Getting Older

Watching ourselves grow older takes a toll on our happiness. Photo by Egor Myznik on Unsplash

"I keep getting older and it probably won't end well."

"Getting older and having to deal with parents who are at the point where their ability to care for themselves is declining. Really scary preview."

As many as 10% of people may experience a significant fear of death, but almost all of us worry about it to some degree. Getting older and watching your body change and your health slowly decline is a tough process that only adds to our anxieties.

Love & Relationships

Being in a relationship is hard, and so is looking for one. Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

"My husband, its like living with a 200 pound toddler."

"Have two kids - the last time I had sex with my partner was 9 years ago"

People who are in relationships are struggling—after all, all the other stressors on this life can have a significant impact on our love lives. But so are people who are looking to find love.

"A lot of people struggle with dating. I have seen many of my clients feel exhausted and discouraged by how modern dating often lacks commitment and emotional investment," says Ciara Bogdanovic, licensed psychotherapist and founder at Sagebrush Psychotherapy. "Many people worry that wanting commitment makes them appear needy or naive. We have created a system where emotional restraint is rewarded and genuine openness feels risky, even though vulnerability is what actually builds intimacy."

Too Much Work

The average American is working way too much. Photo by SEO Galaxy on Unsplash

"Work stress, and I've coped with that stress by overindulging, so now I'm fat and stressed and exhausted all the time. I know I would be happier if I could get my sh** together and lose weight, but it's just so hard."

"No matter how hard I work the people in my life make more money than me and they ALL think im a lazy because of it"

"Work-related stress and burnout," Kaitlin Maud, licensed counselor and art therapist, says emphatically. "The demands of modern working (being always accessible via workplace chat, for example) coupled with a precarious job market and layoffs."

Loneliness

Loneliness is at an all-time high. Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

"Anxiety, loneliness, and constant dread."

A stunning 57% of Americans report feeling lonely, and what's most surprising is that the numbers are highest in the youngest generations. We think of younger people as social and having lots of friends, but something—like technology and social media—is driving us apart in a way it never did for previous generations.

The former U.S. surgeon general even declared loneliness an "epidemic."

Existential Dread

Sometimes the thing that's bothering you is so big and so intangible, you just can't quite put your finger on it. It's sort of a little bit of everything.

"Existential anxiety," Maud calls it. "Given the pace of change in U.S. policy, the always-on news cycle, and felt impact of events like the government shutdown, many of my clients are dealing with stress and rumination about meaning and their purpose in life. They want to be of service to others but don't know how, particularly amidst the demands of their careers and families."

A report from the American Psychiatric Association says one-third of Americans worry about climate change "every week." Having severe doubts about the future of the planet and humanity is a heavy burden to carry.

"When I think about what brings people into therapy right now, there’s this shared undercurrent I keep seeing: people are tired," says Lucas Saiter, a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Manhattan Therapy NYC. "Not just physically, but emotionally and existentially tired. It’s like we’ve all been holding our breath for years—through pandemics, politics, uncertainty, constant change—and we’re only now realizing how heavy that’s been."

There are obviously a lot of things to be down about, and a lot of things that have regular folks feeling stressed. But there's something oddly comforting about realizing that we're all going through a lot of these things together.

It's almost funny, if you think about it, that so many people are experiencing loneliness. Together, but not.

It's easy to feel like a failure for not making more money and having too much debt, but when you realize that almost 3/4 of all people are experiencing those same feelings, you realize that it's the system that's broken—not us.

It helps to know we're not the only ones having a hard time with some aspect of life, whether it's finances, our health, our relationships, or just feeling like the state of the world is "too much." It's human nature to pretend like we're fine when we're really not, but psychologists say it's healthier and more productive to feel our feelings and let them out.

Sharon Martin, a licensed clinical social worker, writes, "Please know that you're not the only one struggling with these issues and you didn't cause them. You are, however, the only one who can start to change them. You can slowly start to think and act differently, you can validate your feelings and needs, and be more of your true self."