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“A balm for the soul”
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Nice isn't the same as good.

Have you ever heard a guy complain that women seem to reject them a lot, despite the fact that they're a nice guy? There may be multiple reasons for that, but if it happens a lot, "Nice Guy Syndrome" might be at play.

To illustrate Nice Guy Syndrome, licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright analyzed the male characters and how the primary love interest responded to them in the animated film "Megamind." Decker and Seawright use films to explore mental health and human behavior in their show "Cinema Therapy," which has 1.7 million followers on YouTube. Their breakdown of "Megamind" and Nice Guy Syndrome is one of their most popular episodes, which is a testament who how relatable it is.


After discussing how criminally underrated "Megamind" is as a film—so funny, with incredible writing and performances—Decker and Seawright dive into what makes the characters Hal (played by Jonah Hill) and Megamind (played by Will Ferrell) good examples of the difference between "nice guys" and "good guys." Both of these characters fall for Roxanne (played by Tina Fey) but only one of them proves worthy of her in the end. (Hint: It's not the nice guy.)

Hal may be awkward, but he's "nice" in that he treats Roxanne well, at least on the surface. He's always doing things for her and complimenting her, trying to win her affections. But his niceness is transactional; he wants something from her and thinks being nice to her will eventually get it for him. He's not being nice for its own sake. When he gains superpowers and becomes "Titan," he assumes that Roxanne will want him, and we see how he feels entitled to her. He doesn't respect what she wants—in fact, he thinks she's delusional and that he needs to convince her that she should be with him.

Hal is "nice" but he's not good. Megamind is the opposite. Megamind starts off as a villain in the film, but as the story progresses, we see how he ended up in that position and how his true nature is actually good.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"This is not a story of a villain reforming," Decker says. "He was always destined to be the hero, but he wasn't really given a chance to be. And that's one thing that I find really powerful about the story is this notion that I want to be good, but people won't let me. Or I want to be good, or because of certain things about me, people don't see who I really am."

"There's a difference between niceness and goodness," Decker says. "Goodness is for its own sake. And giving love is not the same thing as expecting it in return."

He then explains how "good" and "nice" mean different things when it comes to what you want for and from the other person.

"Good is I want you to be happy," he says. "It doesn't have to be with me. I would be thrilled if it was, but doesn't have to be with me. And also, I respect your right to make the choices you're going to make. Nice is not only are you making the wrong choice in being with that other guy, you should be with me. Nice lacks confidence and is looking for someone else to give it to them."

Decker shared that he speaks from experience on this topic, as he himself went through a phase of being a "nice guy," questioning why the women he was interested in always went for good-looking jerks when they should have been interested in him. It wasn't until someone felt entitled to his affections because she was good to him that he saw how terrible that felt on the receiving end.

People in the comments loved the analysis and shared some thoughts of their own:

"Megamind’s 'villainy' is really just elaborate, over-the-top theatrics and we never even see anyone actually get hurt during them. Whereas, superpowers aside, Hal is the kind of villain that can and does exist in real life, and it makes him so much scarier."

"Megamind is a story about facades. Megamind created his evil persona as a way to push people away to hide how vulnerable he really is, whereas Hal created his nice guy persona to camouflage how despicable he is in an attempt to lure people closer."

"The interesting part to me is how Roxanne was always so kind to Hal despite his awkwardness and his selfishness. She was never dismissive or rude to him. Even in that tower scene where she's trying to explain to him what's going on, she never once raises her voice or gets impatient with him, it's him who gets worked up with her. And that's such a perfect depiction of real life. You can be so kind, and so polite, and it doesn't matter, because if someone has decided you owe them something, they're going to be angry at you just for existing if they don't get it."

"I like the part when Titan brings Roxanne the flowers. It shows how little he actually cares for her. He says he knows everything about her and then immediately after he says he doesn't know what kind of flowers she likes. He likes the idea of being with her but doesn't actually like her enough to learn about her."

Unfortunately, many women have had experience with "nice guys" who are not actually "good guys," and it's often not that hard to spot the difference. But the bottom line is that being good for goodness' sake will always be more attractive than being nice solely in order to get a woman's attention or win her affections.

Flynn Rider is a Disney fan favorite.

Disney princesses have become such an ingrained part of our collective conscious that most of us can rattle off the names Cinderella, Snow White, Jasmine, Belle, Tiana, Ariel, Moana, Mulan, Rapunzel and so on without having to think too hard about it. Disney princes, however, are another story. There's the classic Prince Charming, of course. Aladdin is hard to forget, since the story is literally named after him. Beast doesn't have a name, and beyond that, most Disney princes just don't stick in people's minds.

Flynn Rider from "Tangled," however, might be the exception.

There's something about Flynn Rider that has made him a Disney fan favorite, and a behind-the-scenes video explains one possible reason why: He was designed by a room full of women.


First, here's a reminder of Flynn's character for those who haven't seen "Tangled" in a while:

"Tangled" directors Byron Howard and Nathan Greno shared in a Q & A what they were thinking in the process of creating Flynn.

“Flynn’s character, from the get-go, had to be a charmer,” Howard said. “He had to be this charming kind of swashbuckling, amazing action guy who you had to love from square one…We always kind of compare him to characters like Indiana Jones, who have confidence about them but they’re human at the same time. Because you have to relate to these guys. They can’t just be Superman.”

Greno added that Flynn is one of the funniest characters Disney has created. “He’s this really smart, witty guy. He’s an action hero, he’s also very handsome."

Flynn's handsomeness ended up being highly curated. Howard and Greno shared that after the animators had come up with hundreds of mockups of potential Flynns, they invited the women from around the animation studios to come and weigh in on the sketches, as well as images of leading Hollywood men over the years, to determine what features would make Flynn the most attractive.

This "hot man meeting" yielded a lot of strong opinions, which Howard said was "tough."

"The hot man meeting was hard to go to, for us," said Greno, "because everyone had opinions on what works and what doesn't work. And occasionally things would come up that don't work, and those were things that, you know, we have."

Watch the women in action:

@ashley_tropea

Never forget The Hot Man Meeting #disney #tangled #flynnrider #animation #menwrittenbywomen #disneytangled #disneytiktok

Designing a male hero based on what women actually find attractive vs. what men think women find attractive turned out to be a solid approach. It may be worth imagining what would happen if the idea were reversed—a group of men in a "hot woman meeting" to piece together the ideal woman would likely be received a bit differently—but the consensus in the comments was that the meeting achieved its intended goal.

"This makes so much sense. Flynn Rider is elite."

"And in the end, they nailed it."

"My girls KNEW what they were talkin about."

"And they did a FANTASTIC job."

"Those women did amazing bc that man is FINEEEE."

"THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! I always felt like he was such a female gaze character I was surprised they nailed it…now I get why."

Several commenters also wondered if that meeting was the genesis of the WANTED posters and Flynn's "They just can't get my nose right!" line in the film.

Of course, as much love as Flynn got in the comments, some people disagreed that he was for sure the most attractive prince. There was a lot of appreciation for Prince Naveen from "The Princess and the Frog" (that voice), Li Shang from "Mulan" and Eric from "The Little Mermaid" in the comments.

Thousands agreed, however, that Disney should have used an approach like this to create Beast when he turns into human form because that reveal left a lot to be desired.

Ultimately, asking women what they actually find attractive instead of assuming or guessing led to the creation of one of the most beloved princes in the Disney lineup. If the goal is to have the female audience swooning over a character, it's definitely something for creators to consider when designing a leading man.

Pop Culture

Cruel meme about time has Gen X feeling 'dazed and confused'

Uh, there's no way this math is right. Right? [Grabs calculator.]

Photo (left) by Oskars Sylwan on Unsplash, Photo (right) by Taylor Flowe on Unsplash

The difference between 1976 and 1993 felt like ages.

The "forgotten generation" has hit peak mid-life crisis time, as Gen Xers find themselves careening through their 40s and 50s. And like presumably every generation before them, they're reeling a bit, asking, "How did I get here already?" as they pluck gray hairs out of weird places, send kids off to college and obsessively check their retirement accounts.

And now a meme that hits right at the heart of that crisis has Gen Xers feeling even more dazed. One might even say…confused.

In cruel bit of calculation, X user @AZNotoriousJPG shared a screenshot image from the cult classic "Dazed and Confused" with this caption:


"Dazed and Confused came out in 1993 and was based in 1976. A comparable movie today would be based in 2007."

Wait, what? No. NO. That can't be right. That math isn't mathing. Where's the calculator?

[Frantically calculates this very basic subtraction problem four times because there's no way.]

It's right. How? How is this possible? The '70s felt like they were ages from the 90s, while 2007 was only like three years ago. Right?

First of all, I'm wrong. 2007 was 17 years ago—that's basically an entire generation ago. (I know, I have to let that one sit for a minute.) But secondly, it seems like there was much more of a cultural difference between the 1970s and the 1990s than there was between the 2020s and the 2000s.

But why? In some ways, the 2000s feel like they've all been one long decade, at least in terms of "feel." The 1960s, '70s, '80s and '90s each felt like they had a distinct feel in terms of style and culture. We can pinpoint fashions, slang, musical genres and what was popular during those decades. Can the same be said for the 2000s and the 2010s?

Maybe it can. Facebook came out in 2004 and the iPhone came out in 2007, so I'm sure that changed things significantly. Social media and smartphones? That's huge. Is it just because we're (gulp) so old now that Gen Xers can't differentiate between recent decades? Are we just so out of touch with young fashions and hip culture that we don't even see it?

Honestly? Yeah, probably. I've heard my teens say something along the lines of, "That's giving, like, early 2000s" when referring to a song or a fashion choice. I guess I should be happy that I'm "with it" enough to know what "giving" means, but I'd never be able to tell you how something from the early 2000s is any different than something from two years ago.

Gen Xers have not taken kindly to having this timeline change thrown in their faces:

"Oh!! This hurts!!"

"Lies."

"I was having a good day. We were all having a good day."

"I get, we’re old!!! Quit reminding us!"

"All I see from this is that I am old AF."

"That doesn’t make any sense. 2007 was last week. I have medicine in the closet which expired earlier than that. Not possible."

"Nope, that’s not okay."

"You didn't have to choose violence, yet here we are."

You can tell the Gen Xers from the millennials and Gen Zers in the comments because the younger folks just keep commenting with "Superbad," a coming-of-age comedy that came out in 2007. What they don't understand is it's not the number of years that hits hard with this meme, it's the vast difference between how 17 years felt between the 70s and 90s and how they feel in the 2000s.

You have to have lived it to get it, I suppose, but "Dazed and Confused" in 1993 felt more like a movie made now based in the '80s would feel. Think "Stranger Things." That's what the time difference felt like for us.

Time is weird, man. But even 30 years later (wait, what?) "Dazed and Confused" is still a fabulous film, and Gen X is still the coolest generation.

The Princess Bride (left) Everything, Everywhere all at Once (center) The Godfather (right)

The 96th Academy Awards, better known as The Oscars, will be taking place in less than a week. Meaning some films will be recognized forever as the best of the best for 2024.

…But how many of us have sat down to watch an award winning, cult classic, incredibly popular movie, only to think…is everyone else watching what I'm watching? I don't get the hype!

You're not alone. Art, as we know, is subjective, and just because a movie is liked by many, it doesn't mean it will be liked by everyone.

When Reddit user u/imnachos asked: "What is a film you didn't really enjoy that everyone seemed to like?" their question got thousands of comments from less-than-enthused moviegoers. Some choices were to be expected, such as classics that maybe don't hold up so well with a modern lens. But then a few films that seem completely harmless and universally loved made the list.

Check out the titles below:


The Notebook

"I first watched this movie when I was like 15 and of course at that age you think it’s romantic and the most beautiful love story ever. As an adult that has now experienced young love and mature adult love…. If my high school boyfriend had ever shown up out of nowhere while I was with my fiancé/now husband he would have no hold over me lol. Like I get the premise is that their love is so strong and eternal and that they’re soulmates blah blah blah but they didn’t even give her a bad fiancé. The guy she was engaged to was handsome and super kind and successful lol but sure, go back to your grouchy hermit ex you haven’t spoken to in yearssss."

A Quiet Place

"'S'on, we can talk as loud as we want next to this waterfall. Now let’s go home to our creaky home with wood floors where we have to tiptoe and use sign language….' My guy… just move next to the waterfall!"

Avatar

"Unobtainium?? That’s the best name they could come up with?"

"You could argue that it's a story about how humans gathering natural resources are blind to the devastating effects of their greed... But no, that's just a literal description of the plot. Avatar takes the nuance and context and human characters out of real-world conflict and replaces everything with a one-dimensional min-max placeholder."

The Princess Bride

"Sorry folks, but 'The Princess Bride' blows. The only interesting thing about the movie was actually in the Andre the Giant documentary, detailing the pain Andre was in throughout the filming."

Everything Everywhere All at Once

One person lamented, "I had to take breaks to watch it because it was just too much going on."

To which someone quipped, "The title does warn you."

Saltburn

"I watched it last night and did not get the hype, just the ick."

Fast & Furious

"I find them all to be ridiculously stupid. Just awful."

The MCU

" I like comics but I despise the cinematic universe."

Barbie

"It was fine. I get it’s standing as a cultural phenomenon…But it’s not as great as what people were celebrating it as. But if people found enjoyment in it then that’s good for them."

The Godfather

"I think you would have had to see it when it came out. It paved the way for the modern mafia movies. Before it, there was nothing like it, and it was probably amazing at the time."

Oppenheimer

One person referenced a review of "Oppenheimer" by writer Sam Kriss, who called it:

“…bafflingly pointlessly soulless…Less an actual film than a three-hour-long trailer: just snapshots, stitched together, each scene lasting a few minutes at most, until you start to get something like motion sickness…You get the sense that Nolan isn’t really interested in much. Not nuclear physics, not the terrible responsibilities of the atomic age, or the romance of Communism, or the cruel machinery of the US government; in fact, he doesn’t even seem to care at all about J Robert Oppenheimer, as a man or a totem. What he cares about are the following: firstly, shoving as many scientists and politicians in front of our faces as possible, so we all appreciate how thoroughly he’s done his homework, and secondly, employing a Mirror-wannabe non-linear storytelling technique for no apparent reason whatsoever. It sucks.

Elf

"I hate 'Elf'. I can’t stand Will Ferrell. He’s not funny; he’s just loud."

Wonder Woman

"It was cool for a woman-led superhero film. But the plot was pretty mid."

You know what they say—everyone's a critic! But that's all the more reason why we need a variety of films, focusing on different perspectives, cultures, genres, you name it, so that there can be something for everyone.