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How the unscripted hand flex in 'Pride and Prejudice' became an iconic romantic moment

This subtle, two-second scene has had women swooning for 20 years.

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Mr. Darcy's hand flex packs a huge romantic wallop.

When we think of romantic moments in film, some classic scenes come to mind. Billy Crystal yelling his love at Meg Ryan on New Year's Eve in When Harry Met Sally. The much-spoofed "I'm flying" scene in Titanic.The cheesy-but-effective "You had me at hello" line in Jerry Maguire. We watch romantic movies for precisely these interactions that allow us to live vicariously through the characters and feel the chemical rush of falling in love.

Romantic scenes generally include a declaration of love, a passionate embrace or kiss, or some other overt expression of affection and desire. But one romantic scene that involves none of those things has become an iconic fan favorite despite it just being a brief close-up shot of a hand.

The "hand flex" from Joe Wright's 2005 adaptation of Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudicesays more in two seconds than many entire scenes do, which is what makes it so powerful. Some people even call it the sexiest non-sex scene in cinema.

In the scene, Mr. Darcy (played by Matthew MacFadyen) briefly takes Elizabeth Bennett's (played by Keira Knightley) hand to help her into a carriage. At this point in the story, the two characters have been prickly toward one another after getting off on the wrong foot, though their attraction is becoming palpable. For the quickest of moments, their hands touch and their eyes meet, and there's an unspoken flash of recognition. Then, as Darcy walks away from the carriage, he flexes his hand—literally for two seconds—and despite it being the slightest gesture that no one would even notice in real life, it speaks volumes about what he's feeling.

Chemistry. Electricity. Longing. Tension. It's all right there in his outstretched fingertips.

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Director Joe Wright shared with PEOPLE how the scene came about.

"It wasn't in the script, but that was an important moment in the book," Wright said. "This sudden realization, as they were parting, of what they meant to each other or the kind of disturbance they caused in each other."

Wright said the hand stretch was an improvised move by MacFadyen's, though MacFadyen has said that Wright was the one who initially noticed him doing it.

""Our bodies are so much smarter than our minds often," Wright told PEOPLE. "Although their conscious minds are fighting against each other, their bodies are two magnets drawn to each other. As they touch, even that little hand lifting helping her, which is pure etiquette of the period, somehow creates this kind of electronic shock wave through them both, and he has to shake it away."

pride and prejudice, mr. darcy, elizabeth bennett, film, love scenePride And Prejudice GIF by Working TitleGiphy

Those electrical pulses of sheer chemistry are visceral when they happen in real life, and in that simple stretching of his fingers we can all feel it. Ironically, however, Wright had been disappointed with that day's filming, feeling like he hadn't captured what he hoped to in the scene.

"It had been a gloomy day when we shot it," Wright told PEOPLE. "I felt like I hadn't conveyed what I wanted to, and it's odd and gratifying to find that we told our story, and people have responded. Because on the day, I thought, 'Oh no, we didn't get it. It was rubbish. It didn't work.' Now, people are still posting it. It's odd and really nice."

hands, scene, pride and prejudice, hand scene, mr. darcy, film Pride & PrejudiceGiphy

Imagine thinking that scene hadn't worked. So many people really do doubt themselves more than they should, eh? As people's commentary makes clear, the scene is perfection.

"This is my favourite minute of acting from all the films I've seen over my 57 years."

"That's it. This is more intimate than other scenes from romance movies."

"I'm watching this movie for the first time (shocker i know), and this scene is so intensely romantic it's crazy—more intimate than full body contact. I think it's because of how they filmed it, all close-up shots."

"Like an electric current ran from her to him and the only way he could express what teaching her means is that hand-flex. That’s how you tell a whole story with one gesture. Swoooonniing."

"Tell me you want me without saying a word. This IS most women's dreams."

"I always come back to this scene IT SHOOOK ME."

"This scene has its own separate fan base."

Fans can see the hand flex on the big screen for the film's 20th anniversary as it will be re-released in select theaters on April 20, 2025. It's worth a trip to the movie theater, as the 2005 Pride & Prejudice has a gorgeous aesthetic that is enhanced on a larger screen. Joe Wright really did know what he was doing with this film from start to finish, hand flex and all.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Therapist analyzes male 'Megamind' characters to explain why women reject 'nice guys'

"Nice Guy Syndrome" is a thing.

CinemaTherapy/YouTube

Nice isn't the same as good.

Have you ever heard a guy complain that women seem to reject them a lot, despite the fact that they're a nice guy? There may be multiple reasons for that, but if it happens a lot, "Nice Guy Syndrome" might be at play.

To illustrate Nice Guy Syndrome, licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright analyzed the male characters and how the primary love interest responded to them in the animated film "Megamind." Decker and Seawright use films to explore mental health and human behavior in their show "Cinema Therapy," which has 1.7 million followers on YouTube. Their breakdown of "Megamind" and Nice Guy Syndrome is one of their most popular episodes, which is a testament who how relatable it is.

After discussing how criminally underrated "Megamind" is as a film—so funny, with incredible writing and performances—Decker and Seawright dive into what makes the characters Hal (played by Jonah Hill) and Megamind (played by Will Ferrell) good examples of the difference between "nice guys" and "good guys." Both of these characters fall for Roxanne (played by Tina Fey) but only one of them proves worthy of her in the end. (Hint: It's not the nice guy.)

via GIPHY

Hal may be awkward, but he's "nice" in that he treats Roxanne well, at least on the surface. He's always doing things for her and complimenting her, trying to win her affections. But his niceness is transactional; he wants something from her and thinks being nice to her will eventually get it for him. He's not being nice for its own sake. When he gains superpowers and becomes "Titan," he assumes that Roxanne will want him, and we see how he feels entitled to her. He doesn't respect what she wants—in fact, he thinks she's delusional and that he needs to convince her that she should be with him.

Hal is "nice" but he's not good. Megamind is the opposite. Megamind starts off as a villain in the film, but as the story progresses, we see how he ended up in that position and how his true nature is actually good.

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"This is not a story of a villain reforming," Decker says. "He was always destined to be the hero, but he wasn't really given a chance to be. And that's one thing that I find really powerful about the story is this notion that I want to be good, but people won't let me. Or I want to be good, or because of certain things about me, people don't see who I really am."

"There's a difference between niceness and goodness," Decker says. "Goodness is for its own sake. And giving love is not the same thing as expecting it in return."

He then explains how "good" and "nice" mean different things when it comes to what you want for and from the other person.

"Good is I want you to be happy," he says. "It doesn't have to be with me. I would be thrilled if it was, but doesn't have to be with me. And also, I respect your right to make the choices you're going to make. Nice is not only are you making the wrong choice in being with that other guy, you should be with me. Nice lacks confidence and is looking for someone else to give it to them."

Decker shared that he speaks from experience on this topic, as he himself went through a phase of being a "nice guy," questioning why the women he was interested in always went for good-looking jerks when they should have been interested in him. It wasn't until someone felt entitled to his affections because she was good to him that he saw how terrible that felt on the receiving end.

via GIPHY

People in the comments loved the analysis and shared some thoughts of their own:

"Megamind’s 'villainy' is really just elaborate, over-the-top theatrics and we never even see anyone actually get hurt during them. Whereas, superpowers aside, Hal is the kind of villain that can and does exist in real life, and it makes him so much scarier."

"Megamind is a story about facades. Megamind created his evil persona as a way to push people away to hide how vulnerable he really is, whereas Hal created his nice guy persona to camouflage how despicable he is in an attempt to lure people closer."

"The interesting part to me is how Roxanne was always so kind to Hal despite his awkwardness and his selfishness. She was never dismissive or rude to him. Even in that tower scene where she's trying to explain to him what's going on, she never once raises her voice or gets impatient with him, it's him who gets worked up with her. And that's such a perfect depiction of real life. You can be so kind, and so polite, and it doesn't matter, because if someone has decided you owe them something, they're going to be angry at you just for existing if they don't get it."

"I like the part when Titan brings Roxanne the flowers. It shows how little he actually cares for her. He says he knows everything about her and then immediately after he says he doesn't know what kind of flowers she likes. He likes the idea of being with her but doesn't actually like her enough to learn about her."

Unfortunately, many women have had experience with "nice guys" who are not actually "good guys," and it's often not that hard to spot the difference. But the bottom line is that being good for goodness' sake will always be more attractive than being nice solely in order to get a woman's attention or win her affections.

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Pop Culture

'It Ends With Us' film has people discussing the nuanced elements of domestic violence

The movie gives us a glimpse of how complex and confusing abusive relationships are from the inside.

Sony Pictures Entertainment/YouTube

Justin Baldoni directed and stars in "It Ends With Us."

The film adaptation of Colleen Hoover's bestselling novel "It Ends With Us" has been a smashing success at the box office, with its $242 million haul in its first three weeks exceeding industry expectations and blowing far past its $25 million budget.

The movie has also led to much-needed conversations about intimate partner violence. Despite the bizarrely mixed promotion of the film (with star and co-producer Blake Lively being criticized for downplaying the domestic violence aspect while co-star and director Justin Baldoni has focused his interviews on addressing it), viewers are leaving theaters digesting a story of an abusive relationship that may feel painfully familiar or like nothing they'd ever seen before. And both of those moviegoing experiences are prompting discussions about the aspects of of domestic violence that we often don't hear or talk about.

(This article contains movie spoilers and some depictions of abuse, so please be warned.)

Why Justin Baldoni decided to adapt "It Ends With Us" as a film

Baldoni has said that he wanted to make "It Ends With Us" to bring hope to women who see themselves in Lily Bloom, the main character who ends up in an abusive relationship, and help empower them to make a different choice for themselves. To help tackle such a sensitive and complex subject. Baldoni and his production company, Wayfarer Studios, partnered with the domestic violence organization No More in the creation and promotion of the film.

"The only way I could direct this movie is if I had a group of women, specifically, behind me who are specialists in this space, Baldoni told TODAY. "And from the very beginning, we worked very hard to create a very truthful and honest story that could reflect the reality of what millions and millions of people go through every day."

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As Baldoni told TODAY, there is no typical abuser or typical victim. But since the release of "It Ends With Us," many women who have experienced intimate partner violence have praised the way the film depicts the complexity and nuance of abusive relationships, and many women have shared that they appreciated the care that went into telling the story. Some have even come forward to say that the film inspired them to leave their own abusive relationships.

How are domestic violence survivors reacting to "It Ends With Us"?

"Not sure if you will ever see this, but I'm leaving 10 years of absolute hell after seeing it ends with us, thank you. It ends with me, too," shared one person.

"I left an 8 year relationship after watching this movie-twice...Thank you Justin for promoting the right way and creating an awareness on the seriousness of DV," wrote another commenter.

"I was Lily Bloom 17 years ago," shared another. "It's crazy how you were able to show the audience the victim's perspective. It's not always obvious for many reasons. We see the person's good or have hope they can change because they've shown us some love. For me it was always an accident or something that happened because of heightened emotions. I didn't want to be that girl either so I would always feel it was us both of us doing this. But the day I left with my babies, my two girls... I asked him the same question. He didn't give me the right answer though. He said, 'I would tell them to go back to their husband because that's what they signed up for and where they belong' Leaving was hard but staying would've been hell!! I'm so happy to say I'm with a real man that had showed me real love and loves my girls we have been married 12+ years."

"You know I went into this movie to hate watch it honestly, I thought it was going to be some fifty shades fanfic esque flick, but I actually want to thank you for making this from the bottom of my heart," wrote another. "When you are in that situation it feels like no one understands why you can't just walk away, but you are so enraptured and the love of an abuser can feel larger than life. I’ve never felt more connected to a story and as someone currently on the fence of going back to a situation like this or letting that love go, this was what I needed. This felt real and it was activating but freeing. Thank you."

How does "It Ends With Us" portray an abusive relationship?

I saw the movie as someone who hasn't experiences domestic violence and was curious to see if others had similar takeaways as I did. A handful of people have expressed concern that domestic violence is "glamorized" in the story, but I didn't get that from the film at all. I didn't read the book, so can't compare the two, but what I took away from the movie was the uncomfortable truth that abusive relationships are not as black-and-white as many people think.

To be clear, abuse in a relationship is always a deal breaker. That's not in question. But what we see in this movie is that abusive relationships can be really confusing from the inside. There are some abusers out there who are just plain monsters, but they're often more like Baldoni's character, Ryle. He is loving, tender, supportive—and even gentle—most of the time. There are some red flags in the way he pursues Lily in the beginning, but they're the kinds of things many consider charming and flattering. We see him kick a chair in an outburst of anger in his first scene, but we're able to understand his anger in that moment, even if his expression of it is a bad sign.

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What I took away from the film is how a woman can genuinely fall in love with an abuser and how she can justify or explain away abusive incidents because she doesn't want to admit, even to herself, that she is in an abusive relationship. Throughout the film, we see Ryle through Lily's eyes, as an "unreliable narrator" (her own words). We see the times he hurts her as accidents and his explanations of what happened played out as reality. It's not until Ryle does something that can't be explained away that we see Lily's recovered memories of what actually happened in those other incidents.

Ryle didn't accidentally swing his hand because he burned it; he hit Lily in a rage. She didn't fall down the stairs during a fight; he pushed her. As a viewer, even knowing the movie was about an abusive relationship, I found myself somewhat confused about whether Ryle was really abusive until he tried to rape her and we got to see Lily's more accurate memories revealed. As a person who hasn't been in those shoes, I appreciated seeing a perspective from the inside, how what Lily feels and what she experiences are conflicting and confusing.

How can someone get out of an abusive relationship?

I've seen some people complain that Ryle was portrayed as a sympathetic character because his own childhood trauma is revealed to explain his rage issues, but two things can be true at once. A person can have experienced a severe trauma that results in violent outbursts and their behavior can be unacceptable and inexcusable in a relationship. A partner can be sweet and supportive and also abusive, making them an unequivocal abuser. If your partner is wonderful 98% of the time and abusive 2% of the time, you are in an abusive relationship. Full stop. That 98% can be seductive enough to convince you to put up with the 2%, but that's not how it works. There's no amount of abuse that's worth staying for.

One element of the story that experts have raised concerns about is the fact that Ryle doesn't put up a fight when Lily tells him she wants a divorce. That's not often how it goes, and unfortunately the 18 months after leaving an abusive partner are statistically the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship. Again, every abusive relationship has its own dynamic, but women who decide to leave should be aware of the patterns and have a safety plan in place beforehand.

"It Ends With Us" may have hit some marketing snags with the behind-the-scenes drama and problematic promotion dominating the headlines, but beyond all the media noise is a film that has people talking about domestic violence in a deep and meaningful way. And that's definitely a good thing.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. Visit nomore.org.

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'I felt ill': Brendan Fraser describes sexual assault that nearly made him quit acting

His bravery in coming forward is commendable. 👏

Remember Brendan Fraser? 10 years ago, he was one of Hollywood's biggest stars. Then, he suddenly disappeared.


If you were a kid in the late '90s and early '00s, chances are you saw a Brendan Fraser movie. The comedy and action star catapulted to fame behind blockbusters like "The Mummy" franchise, "George of the Jungle," "Looney Tunes: Back in Action," and the Oscar-winning film "Crash."

But after 2008, he largely disappeared from major starring roles. His absence wasn't due to drugs, a sex-scandal, or illness — despite memes and even reported articles speculating about his career arc, with many blaming it on poor career choices.

Fraser revealed in a recent interview that an incident of sexual harassment led him to withdraw from his high-profile lifestyle.

Lately, the actor has gradually returned to more high-profile roles, and in an interview with GQ, he explained that the real reason he stepped back from the spotlight was because of being physically groped by Philip Berk, a former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

In his own book, Berk admitted to "pinching" Fraser in the buttocks after an event, but Fraser says the incident was much worse. "His left hand reaches around, grabs my ass cheek, and one of his fingers touches me in the taint. And he starts moving it around."

"I felt ill. I felt like a little kid," he told GQ. "I felt like there was a ball in my throat. I thought I was going to cry."

He said it's time to speak out, and other male victims of harassment are supporting him.

Berk has called the allegation a "total fabrication" but acknowledges he sent Fraser an apology letter after the incident when the actor complained to the HFPA. Fraser said he tried to bury his feelings about the incident, but he was moved into action after seeing actresses and actors speaking up at this year's Golden Globes.

“Am I still frightened? Absolutely. Do I feel like I need to say something? Absolutely. Have I wanted to many, many times? Absolutely. Have I stopped myself? Absolutely."

Despite his reservations, people seem to believe, and be genuinely moved by, Fraser's claim. Once the target of jokes, Fraser has become a catalyst for moving praise across social media.

He's also earned some public support from actor Terry Crews, who has publicly discussed experiencing a similar incident years ago.

"Brendan is amazingly courageous in telling this," Crews wrote on Twitter. "His assault experience is extremely similar to mine — ending with the assailant explaining away his actions. One man's 'horseplay' is another man's humiliation."

Victims of sexual harassment and assault often face deep shame and fear in speaking out. Speaking out takes courage.

Speaking out after experiencing harassment or assault can be an incredible challenge, often full of personal and professional risk. Though the majority of assaults are against women, men face their own similar challenges in overcoming shame, doubt, and repercussions for coming forward and speaking out. When men like Fraser and Crews speak out, they help clear the path for other men to come forward with their own stories.


This story originally appeared on 08.06.19

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