upworthy

fear

abbywrenartistry/Instagram

Young girl with alopecia removes her hat in public for first time.

Makeup has the incredible ability to transform and empower. For makeup artist Abby Wren (@abbywrenartistry), her art and alopecia diagnosis changed the life of another special young girl with alopecia named Elyssa.

In a touching video shared by Wren, Elyssa shared the heartwarming story about how the two connected during a one-on-one glam session.

"Today was Elyssa’s FIRST time bald in public!! 🥹," she captioned the post. "I am SO incredibly proud of her courage all day long, and so grateful we caught this special moment together where she bravely pulled off her hat for the first time around other people."

In the video, Elyssa sits across from Wren as she dips her brush into her makeup palette to begin. The two chat, and Wren asks Elyssa if she wants to take her hat off so she can have more space and access to apply while also encouraging her not to be ashamed of her lack of hair. "I don't know. I'm not sure," Elyssa replies wearily. With love and understanding, Wren responds, "You know that it's totally a safe space if you want to take it off."

Although she's encouraged, Elyssa is still unsure. So, Wren adds, "Feel it out. Feel it out. No pressure either way." The man behind the camera comments on how cool Elyssa's brightly colored sweatshirt is, and Wren agrees. "I know, it's so cool. I love it," she says.

Without a moment's notice, Elyssa decides to take off her hat and proudly display her beautiful, bald head. "Yay! My girl, now we're twins," Wren says. "High-five! Girl, I'm so proud of you. That's really, really rad." In a caption within the video, Wren writes, "me: trying to play it cool and not overwhelm her, but freaking out inside. SO proud of her!"

Wren continues to chat with Elyssa as she applies neon green eyeshadow to her. Elyssa replies, "Thank you!" And Wren cannot contain her joy. "We're twins now! So cool! I love it!" The video pans to the two posing together after her glam sesh is complete. Wren added a mushroom and frog to Elyssa's cheeks for a cool-girl final look.

In the caption, Wren shared more about how her interaction with Elyssa impacted her mom. "Her sweet mom and I had an emotional chat later and reflected on how powerful this Alopecia community is, and how important it is to CELEBRATE being different!" she added. "If this brave 10 year old can face her fears, you can too. Forever inspired by these amazing babes! 💗"

And her viewers are ecstatic about the uplifting moment between the two:

"This is incredible. You could just see her confidence grow as she sat with you. I bet she holds onto this interaction for the rest of her life 🩷"

"You are a sweetheart! She trusted you with her insecurities and you helped her be brave. I love this. 💞👏👏."

"Way to go Elyssa!! You are so beautiful and your courage has me in tears. My baby boy also has AT and he owns it, you are an inspiration 🥰."

Courtesy of Molly Simonson Lee

Flight attendant sits on floor to comfort passenger

Not everyone enjoys flying. The level of non-enjoyment can range from mild discomfort to full blown Aerophobia, which is defined as an extreme fear of flying. While flying is the quickest way to get to far away destinations, for some people being that far off the ground is terrifying and they'd rather take their chances on the ground.

A passenger flying from Charlotte-Douglas International Airport in North Carolina to JFK International Airport in New York confronted that fear while flying with Delta. The woman, who is currently still unidentified expressed that she was nervous to fly according to Molly Simonson Lee, a passenger seated behind the woman who witnessed the encounter. Tight spaces don't make for much privacy, but in this case, the world is better for knowing this took place.



According to Lee, who posted about the exchange on Facebook, the Delta flight attendant, Floyd Dean-Shannon, took his time to give the nervous traveler his undivided attention. Lee told Upworthy the unidentified passenger, "was very nervous and even before the plane took off, she was visibly shaken by each sound."

Approximately 25 million people in the United States have Aerophobia according to the Clevland Clinic and most of them probably wish Dean-Shannon was on their flights. "He took notice and began explaining what each [sound] was, with the warmest, calmest tone," Lee said. That wasn't even the most amazingly sweet part of the story.

While the explanation of noises helped, Lee said about halfway through the flight the passenger was fighting back tears, which prompted Dean-Shannon to sit on the floor and hold the frightened passenger's hand. He comforted her for the rest of the flight while sitting on the floor. "His tone was so kind and soothing," according to Lee.

Dean-Shannon's kindness didn't stop there. Lee explained, "the woman next to me was celebrating a birthday and he sang to her and made her a 'cake' with all of the goodies he could round up."

I'm not sure what Delta pays him but he needs a raise immediately and it seems the people of the interwebs agree.

Commenter, Miranda Anderson, tagged Delta Airlines and wrote, "I hope you see this! These are the types of people that deserve raises and make your company worth flying with. This is what pits [sic] you above the others so show these employees this is what you want and what you need."

"I love this. This is what society is lacking. Empathy and kindness towards people in time[s] of need" wrote Diane Lawrence.

While Mary Beth Acker Ford, said, "I was on a flight with him today. He exudes joy and is intentional about making a connection with each person!"

This level of engagement with passengers is not a common experience but clearly people are happy to see this type of connection between humans. Flying anywhere can be stressful for any amount of reasons. From leaving the house late and having to participate in an involuntary 5k to catch your flight, to making your way through the devil's backyard, also known as Atlanta International Airport...just for them to change your gate 10 minutes before boarding.

So having a flight attendant like Dean-Shannon is just the breath of fresh air people need. "The way he's looking at her...letting her know she's safe!!! This is just one of the many reasons I will always fly Delta Air Lines," Liz Martin wrote in the comments.

"It was obvious he is just a good, kind soul who shares that generously with everyone he encounters. Such kindness is rare and a true gift when encountered," Lee remarked. That level of kindness is rare indeed and we sure are happy someone thought to capture it.


This article originally appeared on 01.19.23

Health

Artist beautifully illustrates the transformative power of turning toward fear

In just six images, Cécile Carre captures what therapy for fear and anxiety can do.

Fear is a finicky beast.

When my oldest daughter was in the deepest throes of a clinical phobia, her fear overtook everything. She practically became a hermit at 16, afraid to go anywhere. Thankfully, we found an excellent therapist who taught her how to tame her fear, to gently manage it, to approach it in such a way that allowed it to dissipate instead of continuing to dominate her every thought.


People who struggle with anxiety or fear, whether it stems from trauma or wonky brain wiring, understand how overwhelming it can be. Fear and anxiety can feel incapacitating at times, making you want to run far away or curl into the tiniest ball and disappear. But neither of those things actually helps. In fact, the first thing my daughter's therapist told her is that avoidance always make anxiety worse.


Instead, she taught my daughter to approach that fearful voice in her head. After all, that voice was hers, and it desperately wanted to be heard and understood. Ignoring it, avoiding it, trying to distract it way simply made it yell louder. "Maybe you're right," she would say to that voice, even though it terrified her to do so. "Maybe you're right, and maybe you're wrong. Let's just wait and see what happens"—that became her mantra to her own brain, and as counterintuitive as it seemed, it worked.

I could explain the science of the amygdala—the fight-or-flight center of the brain that acts on instinct—and why the "Maybe you're right" approach helped retrain it not to overreact. But an artist has created a visual series that describes it in different terms that may resonate more with people who have experienced embracing fear.

Cécile Carre posted her series of paintings about fear on Facebook and they've been shared more than 12,000 times. As with any art, interpretations will naturally vary, but judging from the comments, people dealing with anxiety, fear, or unhealed trauma may find some truth in it.

The first image shows a girl curled in a fetal position with her back to a big, scary monster bearing down on her, with a word painted beneath it.

"Everyday..."

As the girl turns and faces the monster, it immediately looks less scary. Still big, still towering over her, but not terrifying.

"...Trying..."

As the girl walks toward the monster, she starts looking bigger. The monster transforms into a mirror image of herself, the terror of it literally melting away.

"...to watch..."

And then it becomes a child looking for comfort rushing into her arms. Even its color begins to blend with her own.

"...and embrace..."

And then a baby, purely in need of nurturing, wrapped lovingly in her arms.

"...my fear..."

And then...nothing. Just a simple, calm little diamond where the girl was.

"...until it disappears completely..."

The work of turning toward what you fear is not simple or easy, and it may take therapy, medication, or other methods to treat mental illness effectively. But this series of paintings shows what many experience when they stop avoiding and start approaching the roaring voice that tells them to be afraid. Though it's thoroughly terrifying to make that initial turn—I saw it in my own daughter, and it took a lot of effort—seeing the beast shrink down and eventually disappear is an incredible gift.

Thank you, Cécile Carre, for illustrating that so beautifully. You can order her prints here.


This article originally appeared on 03.06.20

Why is seeing people's scared faces so hilarious?

Some people love being scared and some people hate it, but no matter where we fall, none of us are immune to fear. If we are taken by surprise, our bodies startle whether we want them to or not. And when we add a spooky or creepy factor in, a simple jump can turn into a full-body terror reaction.

People who enjoy evoking that reaction in themselves are the folks who love horror movies and haunted houses. I'm not one of those people. Every few years, some persuasive friend will convince me to go to a haunted house around Halloween, and I always spend the whole time clinging to their clothing, burying my face in their back and screaming.

I am a fan of seeing pictures of other people reacting to haunted houses, though.


Thanks to a hidden camera at Nightmares Fear Factory in Niagara Falls, we get to see people's faces right as they're spooked. A flash goes off right when the scare happens, so people get captured in the exact moment they lose their cool. It is utterly fabulous.

Check these out:

haunted house reactions

Shark Boy and Captain America in training.

Nightmares Fear Factory

For being Captain America, that guy doesn't appear to be much of a superhero in this moment. Good thing he's got Shark Boy there to hold his elbow.

haunted house reactions

Jean jacket guy is the hero we all need.

Nightmares Fear Factory

These three cover the whole spectrum. Super scared guy up front, badass "I got you, man" guy behind him and then the "Yeeww, nuh-uh" guy all grossed out. Perfection.

haunted house reactions

Boo!

Nightmares Fear Factory

Love it when you can tell someone is literally jumping out of their skin. That poof of red hair says it all. And the guy on the left with his hands on his face? Classic.

haunted house reactions

Decent protective instincts.

Nightmares Fear Factory

I do not think that guy's eyes could pop out any farther.

haunted house reactions

The laced fingers is kind of sweet, though.

Nightmares Fear Factory

When you try to scare the scary things by being more scary yourself. Like confronting a bear. Good strategy, lady.

haunted house reactions

Sheer terror.

Nightmares Fear Factory

That moment when your soul leaves your body for a sec.

haunted house reactions

So scared.

Nightmares Fear Factory

Ha ha ha ha. That guy in the back is totally me. Still scared even with my eyes closed.

haunted house reactions

Friends don't let friends smile in a haunted house.

Nightmares Fear Factory

OK, but why does the blonde lady between the two terrified brunettes look like she's just out for a nice Sunday brunch? Some people are just miraculously unflappable.

haunted house reactions

Covering your ears is actually a legit horror mitigation strategy.

Nightmares Fear Factory

The best action shot. That ponytail a-flying.

haunted house reactions

How come I can hear this photo?

Nightmares Fear Factory

Or maybe this is the best action shot.

haunted house reactions

And we have a winner.

Nightmares Fear Factory

Nope, this is it. The best haunted house reaction photo ever. It doesn't get better than this, from the leg to the identical scared faces to the dad giggling while his (presumably) wife and daughter freak out.

Absolutely fantastic entertainment. Nightmares Fear Factory is open year-round, and its website boasts that more than 170,000 people have "chickened out" going through the attraction. (If a person gets too scared while going through the fear factory and wants to bail, they can scream "NIGHTMARES!" and someone will immediately escort them out.)

Who knew fear could be so funny?