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fathers

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❀️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel itβ€”you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

This dad exemplifies stellar parenting.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. He's been teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared his interchanges with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.


It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Even his initial question after she fellβ€”"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"β€”is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuckasaurus" video in which she offered delightful color commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Watch:

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's family adventures on InstagramΒ (@chasing.sage).


This article originally appeared on 8.12.22

Family

Experienced dads share the 'superpowers' fatherhood bestowed upon them

From ninja-like reflexes to upping your grilling game…

Your grilling powers enhance exponentially.

One of the little known perks of becoming a parent is that you develop honest-to-goodness, real-life superpowers. Those of us who have physically borne babies know this on a primal level, and mom superpowers are naturally touted for their miraculous nature. For dads, those powers tend to emerge a little later and in different ways.

Dad superpowers may not involve growing an entire human being from scratch inside their own bodies, but they've still got them. Some may overlap with mom powers, but there are certain things that dads do that are uniquely oriented to fatherhood.

A soon-to-be-father tapped Reddit with this adorably curious question: "My girlfriend is due with our first-born in 6 weeks and I already feel the power of the dad-joke getting stronger with every day. What other superpowers and abilities have I got to look forward to?" and the dads delivered.


The ability to sleep and watch TV at the same time

Sleep becomes a bit of a mystery once you have kids. You basically never sleep but also are always sleeping.

"Being able to be asleep yet also still be watching that on TV."

"Can confirm. My dad would be draped over the couch full-on snoring throughout the entirety of a movie he's never seen and could give you a full summary of the movie so far without ever opening his eyes."

"That's because while caring for a newborn, you don't sleep. Instead, when given the opportunity, you go directly into a coma."

"Been a dad for seven years now, this superpower just came to me over the summer."

"Dad snoring loudly. Reach for remoteβ€”'Don’t touch that I am watching that show.'"

Sensing when a kid is doing something they shouldn't

You gain the ability to interpret silence and certain sounds as trouble with 95% accuracy.

"You will be able to sense when your child has done something wrong from miles away."

"Finally some peace and quiet... Wait."

"This, my 3 year old really thinks I have eyes in the back of my head."

"When my kids play together I can tell by the sound of the laughs if someone is doing something naughty. I like fun, but that sounds like too much fun."

Spouse annoyance

Blame it on the sleep deprivation, but it's a thing.

"Your ability to annoy your significant other will never be stronger."

"This is easily the most accurate."

"UNLIMITED POWAHHHHH."

"Pro tip after she has the baby mention how hard that day was on you."

Grill, baby, grill

Gas or charcoal? You'll have an opinion, believe it.

"Your grilling game."

"My father grilled, my father's father grilled, and now it is my time."

"This spatula has been passed down for generations..."

"The grill is a refuge away from the house and kids. When it's not enough, get a smoker. 'Sorry sweetie, it's a 12-hour brisket recipe that needs careful monitoring. I'll be outside; you watch the kids.'"

Adoration of your offspring

Even if you think you don't like kids much, your own kids will be amazing. And vice versa.

"The ability to be incredibly funny and interesting to your kid regardless of how crippling your social anxiety is."

"This for real. Everyone, including me, pretty much thought I wouldn't be such a great dad because I generally don't like people. Don't like talking to them, don't like listening to them, don't like being in the same room with them. I can talk to my kids forever about nothing and love it."

"One's own kid is the most wonderful, fascinating creature ever. I sometimes think that other children aren't that special. Great, yes, but meh. Then I look at mine and realize that -for someone else- they are probably weird and not-so-special. But to me, they're the most amazing thing ever."

Ninja-like reflexes

Probably the most literal superpower you'll have. Literally out here saving lives.

"Weirdly fast reflexes."

"Dad reflexes save more kids than crash helmets and knee pads."

"Based on my son, they develop because babies like to launch themselves headfirst out of your arms believing they can fly like an eagle."

"I caught my daughter midway thru falling down a flight of stairs, scared the crap out of her but no harm done."

media.giphy.com

"I caught my kid by the ankle, an inch from smashing his face into a Toys R’ Us floor. Turns out when the 2 year old is standing in the corner of the cart and you take a turn just to show your wife that yes, he is in fact perfectly safe standing up like that, you’d better be ready to make sure he doesn’t die when you take a aisle corner too hard."

Thermostat telepathy

You will become one with the temperature in your home, and any deviation from what it should be will immediately result in your family members being accused of touching the thermostat.

"You will know, as soon as you walk in the house, if someone has been monkeying with the thermostat."

"Telepathically being able to sense the thermostat being touched."

"You will be in tune with the house's thermostats like you've never been before."

"You will become hyper aware of when anyone touches the thermostat. You will literally feel the money being ripped from your wallet."

"Once you start yelling at others for touching the thermostat you’ll know you’ve reached peak Dad-ness."

Having kids is hard, but superpowers are a fun perk. Especially when we can use them to entertain or annoy our children.

Adolfo Felix/Unsplash & stephanie vacher/Flickr

It's a plot point ripped right from the pages of a mystery novel or a Hollywood script. A parent tragically passes away, but not before leaving behind a life-changing note for their child. The note could reveal a secret, bequeath a surprise inheritance, or send them on a journey of self-discovery via a series of increasingly elaborate clues.

TikTok user northernsass recently found exactly such a note after her father passed away. What was inside was, well, exactly what you'd expect from a dad.

Almost exactly.



"My father passed away unexpectedly and as we were cleaning out his house, I found this ominous note shoved in the very back of his dresser," the caption on the video read.

She then shows the note, which reads:

"Do not read unless you want the answer."

I mean, how could you not open it?!

@isyabootay

One last joke on me i guess. πŸ™ƒ #fyp#notes#fypage#brickbybrick#dad

"My dad was a simple, straightforward man," the captioning continues. "Hardworking and honest so this is completely out of character for him."

Inside the note, slowly opened by shaky hands, is some kind of map, and a sequence of numbers.

Northernsass quickly realizes that inside her father's last message to her is:

The secret to beating the triangle peg game at Cracker Barrel.

Yellow and blue pegs in a wooden pyramid boardkendiala/Flickr

No final confession of fatherly love.

No surprise fortune left behind.

Just one last Dad Joke from beyond the grave.

Now to be fair, that peg game is really hard β€” so this is pretty valuable information. But maybe not what northernsass initially had in mind.

However, this wasn't her first rodeo with her dad's jokes.

"The dad jokes are embedded in my DNA at this point," she wrote in a comment below the post.

Seeing the note, and the daughter's reaction to it, tells you everything you need to know about the man and their relationship. More than any earnest, heartfelt note could possibly convey.

The video went viral to to the tune of 4 million views, and a comments section full of love and admiration.

Did you know that a researcher once conducted a study on the importance of dad jokes?

The results were signifi-cringe.

(Sorry.)

In reality, this actually very real study showed that repeated exposure to corny humor had a surprising impact on kids as they grew up.

"According to the researcher, kids continually exposed to eye-rolling humor build up a natural immunity to judgement and embarrassment, and become adults who feel empowered to be themselves," ABC7 wrote about the study.

So while northernsass's father's final message might seem silly β€” and let's be clear, it is β€” that's exactly the thing that makes it so heartwarming.

Dad's aren't always the best at sharing feelings and having big, emotional heart to hearts. But we show our love in different ways, and we love to teach. The dad joke is the ultimate culmination of love and teaching β€” so what better way could there be to say goodbye?

Plus, the Cracker Barrel code is useful: another thing dad's love. Northernsass is, as she writes, now armed to "flex on the senior citizens during Sunday brunch."