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emotional intelligence

Two young girls hugging each other.

Emotional intelligence is one of the most powerful skills a parent can instill in their child. It gives them a strong foundation for understanding themselves and others, which will work wonders in their family relationships, friendships, and careers. These days, it’s one of the most sought-after skills in the workplace.

Simply put, people with high emotional intelligence can recognize and control their own emotions and comprehend the feelings of others. Emotional intelligence skills involve self-awareness, self-control, social awareness, and interpersonal relationships. Lauren Reed, a mother of two young girls, shared a video recently on TikTok that shows she and her husband have done an incredible job at teaching their children how to be aware of their emotions and those of others. It all started when Maise refused Clementine’s help, leading Maise to yell.

“Backstory- Maisie was putting away her blocks and was feeling proud of herself for doing it on her own, and Clementine came to help her, but Maisie wanted to do it on her own,” Reed wrote on TikTok. ”So Maisie loudly told her she didn’t want her to do that, and then both girls got sad. BUT then they talked it through on their own. These two are the absolute sweetest.”

@itslaurenreed

You guys… I know this is a little long, but the way they talked this through 🥹🥹 Backstory- Maisie was putting away her blocks and was feeling proud of herself for doing it on her own, and Clementine came to help her, but Maisie wanted to do it on her own. So Maisie loudly told her she didn’t want her to do that and then both girls got sad. BUT then they talked it through on their own 🥹🥹 These two are the absolute sweetest #sweetmoments #gentleparenting #sweetkids #girlmom #sosweet #myheart

Here’s a transcript of the super cute display of emotional intelligence.

Clementine: It's fine, you don't have to change your mind and make me help you. It's just you also really have to like—you also have to use kind tone if you don't want me to.

Maisie: Okay, how do I do that?

Clementine: Well, like, if you get frustrated and you feel like you need to use like a loud voice but you feel like you but you feel like you have to—I'll tell you how to do it. Take a breath and then say, 'I don't need help,' in a calm voice. Okay?

Maisie: Okay.

Clementine: I didn't know that you didn't need help. I'm sorry.

Maisie: It's okay.

Then, the two hugged it out.


The post received a ton of comments from people who thought the kids have great parents. “These two have more emotional intelligence than most men in their 30s combined,” one commenter joked. “Child therapist here. I just have to say, wow! Excellent work, mama! I know it won’t be like this every time, but the fact that they have this love and respect shows it all!” a therapist added.

Others thought that the girls showed some incredible conflict-resolution skills. “‘How do I do that?’ is such a powerful and valid question. She answered perfectly,” one wrote. “The oldest also acknowledging, apologizing, and validating feelings while teaching her little sister,” added another.


The children’s emotional intelligence can be seen as a prime example of gentle parenting, a style that values empathy, respect, and boundaries over punishment. It also places a lot of importance on emotional regulation. “By the end of the day, we’re definitely tired and feel like we’ve done a lot of parenting,” Reed said, according to USA Today. “[But] You see moments like this, and you’re like, ‘it is working.’ They’re kind and emotionally intelligent young people, and it makes it all worth it.”

This is a message we've all needed at least once in our lives.

Dads don’t typically get labeled as the parent you come to with an emotional issue—that’s usually one of the many jobs reserved for mom.

A father’s sensitivity, or lack thereof, is often depicted as going straight for “practical solutions” and preaching the values of stoicism—you know, the manly stuff. . There’s of course nothing inherently wrong with these coping strategies, but in times of despair when all you want is a shoulder to cry on, they can feel a little…less than satisfactory.

But sometimes we get stories of fathers breaking the mold with profound compassion. And when we do, it can help heal the parts of ourselves that maybe didn’t get that from our own dads.

That’s certainly the case for the millions of viewers who were moved when a woman named Fallon Thompson shared the incredible text her dad sent her right after a breakup.

As Thompson explained in her video, her partner dumped her in the driveway of her home, and her father saw the entire thing—prompting him to send a little reassurance.

First, he shared how his own experience with heartbreak helped him find the relationship he truly wanted.

“Hey baby girl…here is some perspective from your old man…I have had lots of relationships…from one night stands, to flights, to friends with benefits, to girlfriends, to live-in girlfriends, and then I met your mom” his message began.

girl dads, fatherhood, emotional intelligence

"What you are dealing with today is necessary in order for you to one day be able to discern when a person is really right for you."

www.tiktok.com

“I can say with certainty that when I met her, it was instantly different. I can also say I knew it was different because I went through those other experiences,” he continued. “So what you are dealing with today is necessary in order for you to one day be able to discern when a person is really right for you.”

He even tried to remind her to be grateful for the experience, without trying to diminish her pain.

“When someone lets you know that you are not for them, deal with…the knowledge that this person gave you back the most valuable thing in the world—your time…Rejoice…that your life is still completely yours and you have not wasted it shackled to someone that did not completely want you.”

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more poetic, the dad then used a brilliant metaphor about cows, bulls and bravery.

Simply put, he said that cows run away from a storm when they see it, and in the process “end up being tortured by the storm longer” since they inadvertently stay in it longer.

Bulls, on the other hand, run towards the storm. The feeling is initially “terrible” but the storm passes by quickly, bringing peace and a renewed sense of strength.

“Be the bull, and lean into your storm,” the dad concluded.” Embrace the suck and let it fill you up. You are strong enough to endure, and very soon you will be at peace. Still on your path, achieving goals, and with all of your time still in surplus. Love, Dad.”

This dad’s heartfelt message not only helped his daughter in a time of need, but millions of viewers as well.

“Tell you dad thank you on my behalf, I need that sm,” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “Your dad just fixed a little part of me. Thanks for sharing.”

One even quipped, “Oh to have an emotionally intelligent dad.”

In an interview with Buzzfeed, Scott (Thompson’s father) shared why it’s vital for dads to be emotionally available to their daughters.

"To the girl dads out there: Just be there. Be invested in their lives; they are so much tougher than us and deal with so much more than we will ever know. That’s why it’s so important to lift them up for both their wins and losses. The world is tough on our girls, and if we can support them during the challenges they face, eventually, they will be able to support themselves and make their own path. Hug your girls tight, never be afraid to be vulnerable with them, and tell them you love them any chance you get," he said.

Indeed, research has shown that fathers play a crucial role in helping their kids to become emotionally resilient adults. Not all fathers will actively take on this role, but even the second hand healing from witnessing it in other father-child relationships is potent. Thank you to dads like Scott who show just how impactful a father's love can be.

The fascinating way a horse reacts when it knows you’re angry.

A new study sheds light on our four-legged friends.

Has a horse ever given you major side-eye?

Think Mariah Carey on season 12 of "American Idol" ...


GIF from "American Idol."

Because if so, it might not have just been in your head.

According to a groundbreaking new study, horses can read our emotions much better than we previously thought.

And their eyes do a lot of their talking.

The new study, out of the University of Sussex in the U.K., analyzed responses from 28 horses when they were shown large photos of people making either angry or happy faces for 30 seconds.

When the horses were shown angry faces, their heart rates increased significantly. They also moved their heads to look at the angry photos through their left eye — a key sign that showed researchers the horses were perceiving a negative stimuli.

Secretary of State John Kerry, a fan of horses. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

So, yeah, you're right — even though that horse gave you that look that one time, it probably wasn't throwing shade Mariah-style. But researchers are confident that this left-eye thing means horses can read human emotion pretty damn well.

To understand this left-eye phenomenon, you've got to understand how the right and left brain works.

At a very 101 level, at least.

Many species (like horses) process what their left eye is seeing in the right hemisphere of their brain. And that's where the brain processes threatening stimuli, researchers noted.

So horses looking at the angry faces with their left eye suggests that they could tell the person in the photo might pose a threat to them.

Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy tries to pet a horse for a pic. Photo by Eric Feferberg/AFP/Getty Images.

“It’s interesting to note that the horses had a strong reaction to the negative expressions, but less so to the positive," researcher Amy Smith, a doctoral student at the university, said in a statement of the findings. "This may be because it is particularly important for animals to recognize threats in their environment. In this context, recognizing angry faces may act as a warning system, allowing horses to anticipate negative human behavior such as rough handling.”

The research isn't just cool — it uncovered a big "first." And it says a lot about how emotionally intelligent horses actually are.

The fact horses can read the facial expressions of another species is a pretty big deal.

"We have known for a long time that horses are a socially sophisticated species," Smith said. "But this is the first time we have seen that they can distinguish between positive and negative human facial expressions."

Queen Elizabeth II: Another world figure who's partial to horses. Photo by Eamonn M. McCormack/Getty Images.

These findings also come on the heels of another study published last summer that discovered horses wear their moods on their faces. You've just got to keep your eyes peeled.

As CNN reported, that study found that horses have 17 various subtle facial expressions that can indicate mood — one more than dogs and four more than chimpanzees.

"It was previously thought that humans possessed the most complex repertoire of facial expressions, and that ... the further away an animal was from humans, the more rudimentary their use of facial expressions would be," researchers wrote. "However ... it is apparent that horses also have an extensive range of facial movements, sharing many ... with humans and other animals."

It seems like the more we understand about these four-legged beauties, the more fascinating they become.

They're downright stunning, super adorable while splashing in water for the first time, and have surprisingly high emotional IQs. What are we going to learn next?


Russian President Vladimir Putin also apparently likes horses. Photo by Alexey Druzhinin/AFP/Getty Images.