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Poet says he won't let his sons play with dolls and women are tearfully praising the message

The unexpected twist hist hard. And that final line? Phew.

Demetri Manabat/TikTok (shared with permission)

Demetri Manabat's "Barbie" poem makes a powerful statement.

Usually, when you hear a man say he doesn't want his son to play with dolls, you have a pretty good idea of what beliefs sit beneath the sentiment. It's not unreasonable to assume that some combination of misogyny, homophobia and problematic ideas about masculinity are at play in such an attitude.

That's why an unexpected turn in Demetri Manabat's spoken word poem, "Barbie," caught people's attention.

Manabat referred to "Barbie" as "a poem about dolls" in the caption of a TikTok video showing him performing it on stage. He opens the poem with a provocative statement: "My sons will never play with dolls. In fact, I refuse to let my sons play with dolls."

He goes on to explain that if he ever catches his son with a Barbie or a Bratz doll or a Polly Pocket or Cabbage Patch, he would set them straight, "knowing that's not how God intended" for men to act.

The audience sits quietly through all of this, and a heavy pause lets them stew in his words. But then the twist comes as Manabat explains the why behind his feelings about his sons playing with dolls, and it's one heck of a gut punch with an absolutely knock-out last line.

Watch, all the way to the end:

@demetrimanabat

“Barbie” A poem about dolls. I hope you enjoy. Much Much Love Always & Forever Demetri #barbie #poetry #doll #spokenword #writing #writer #lasvegas

Is it any wonder the video has been liked over nearly a million times in three days on TikTok alone?

People in the comments were as expressive about their feelings as some of the live audience members who called out during the poem.

"I was like booooy, you better be goin somewhere with this, and yall he WENT somewhere," wrote one commenter.

"This is one of those poems you have to stick around for. I hope millions stick around for it, sir," wrote another.

One commenter simply wrote "*deletes paragraph*" as a joke about how they were initially responding to the poem when it began. Another wrote "*trust the algorithm, trust the algorithm*" in a similar vein.

Lots of people shared the lines that hit them particularly hard.

"'My boys will not make toys out of women.' This is a very amazing and beautiful piece. More people need to hear it," wrote one person.

"'Treated like a woman well before she was one but never taken seriously long after she became one' has me in tears," shared another.

"'Stretch marks tattooed across her skin as a result of reaching so far across the universe she bridged heaven and earth.'" another wrote.

"'Is the child inside of her not dying, too' felt like everything just got knocked out of me. That was one of the strongest lines I've ever heard," shared nother.

Poetry has the power to speak truth in a way that helps us understand ourselves and our world better, and spoken word poetry in particular, with its rhythmic storytelling, is a powerful tool for synthesizing complex thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Manabat could have said, "Without understanding the true value of women in real life, boys playing with dolls could symbolize men seeing women as plastic playthings to be handled and controlled and casually tossed aside," but that wouldn't have been nearly as effective as the picture he painted with his poetry and that last line—"My boys will not make toys out of women, so I refuse to let them play with dolls until they actually understand the difference between the two." Phew.

Here's to the poets who put humanity into words, and here's to conscientious men who give voice to the struggle too many women have endured for generations.

You can follow Demetri Manbat on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and X.

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These dolls just got a $200,000 investment on ‘Shark Tank’ because representation matters.

"It’s time for our young girls to have a new standard."

Not long ago, Angelica and Jason Sweeting were driving home when their 3-year-old daughter Sophia started crying and wouldn't stop.

When they asked her what was wrong, Sophia told them that she hated her dark hair and dark skin and wanted to look like Barbie or Elsa, with long blond hair and white skin.

She told them she'd never be beautiful because she didn't look like those dolls.

Sophia's fear hit the couple at their core. They took a hard look at the images their daughter was regularly exposed to, and they promptly saw the problem glaring back at them.

The way Sophia looked wasn't well-represented — not in the media nor in the toys she played with.

They looked everywhere for a black doll that resembled Sophia but couldn't find one.

Yes, there are black dolls and Barbies on the market, but most are simply dark-skinned versions of white dolls. Few offer features that many black girls like Sophia see when they look in the mirror — like wider noses or fuller lips — and even fewer dolls come in a variety of skin tones.

Meet my Co-Founders and biggest inspiration! Sophia + Sydney

A photo posted by Beauty Doesn't Come In A Box! (@naturallyperfectdolls) on

According to the Census Bureau, there are now more racial and ethnic minority children under 5 years old than white children under 5. While dolls have diversified significantly in recent years, it's still a struggle for many parents to find dolls that accurately reflect their children's specific demographic identities.

Dissatisfied with the limited doll options available, Angelica and Jason decided to create their own doll.

Their first 18-inch doll, named Angelica, was modeled after photos of Angelica and Sophia. Her hair was designed to look just like Sophia's, and they even made it washable so it can be styled like real hair.

Having a doll to play with that looked like her, Sophia's confidence levels improved significantly. Together with her younger sister Sydney, Sophia is learning to style her own hair by playing with Angelica's, and she's learning how much there is to love about her curly, voluminous hair.

Seeing how much of an effect the Angelica doll had on Sophia inspired the Sweetings to take their project to the next level. So they launched a Kickstarter to make more dolls. After all, Sophia and Sydney weren't the only little black girls out there desperately in need of seeing themselves represented in the toy aisle.

"Our girls need to see a reflection of their own unique beauty," Angelica explained on their Kickstarter page. "It’s time for our young girls to have a new standard."

After raising $25,000 in just 48 hours, the Sweetings started production on their new doll line: Naturally Perfect dolls.

As soon as they were on the market, kids and parents seemed to love them.

My daughter's 5th birthday was yesterday and Kennedy was one of her gifts, along with this salon chair (Our Generation...

Posted by Candace Kirkman on Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Currently, there are four dolls available: Angelica, Brielle, Camryn, and Kennedy. They all have different skin tones, hair colors, and textures, and diverse careers and interests.

Image via Naturally Perfect Girls, used with permission.

Due to high production costs, the doll's retail price is a lofty $83, even with the funds raised from Kickstarter. So the Sweetings went on "Shark Tank" to try to get some financial support.

@sharktankabc set your calendars! 01/06/2017 EST 9PM Did we survive the tank?

A photo posted by Beauty Doesn't Come In A Box! (@naturallyperfectdolls) on

At first, whether they'd get funding was a bit touch-and-go. The biggest concern the "sharks" had was that Mattel is already working on diversifying its dolls — how could a small company make a dent in the market?

Shark Daymond John, who has mixed-race daughters of his own, came through for the couple, investing$200,000 for 30% of the company. In an interesting twist, the couple also agreed to give 10% of their shares to a girls' empowerment charity.

Thanks to the investment, the Sweetings can lower the dolls' cost and increase the number of dark-skinned dolls on the market.

For all the parents struggling to find dolls that resemble their kids, making the Naturally Perfect dolls more affordable will make a huge difference.

Kennedy 💓 click the link in the bio for 15% off Code = OCT2016 Receive one free outfit!

A photo posted by Beauty Doesn't Come In A Box! (@naturallyperfectdolls) on

In Nigeria in 2015, the Queen of Africa dolls, created by Taofick Okoya, started outselling Barbie because they spoke to the population majority. With the United States becoming a minority-majority nation, large doll companies like Mattel and American Girl might want to take a lesson from the Sweetings and step up their game.

Girls of all races deserve to love themselves. That starts by seeing themselves in the faces of world around them, both human and plastic.

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A new company combines action figures with dolls, and boys love them.

A new toy company can be a game-changer for young boys.

When mom and psychotherapist Laurel Wider heard her young son say boys aren't supposed to cry, she knew she had to do something.

Laurel Wider believes we need to flip the script on how we talk to boys. Photo from Laurel, used with permission.

It's no secret that the way we use our emotions to empathize, solve problems, and relate to others is extremely important in terms of living a happy and successful life.

Our daughters have received that message for generations, but what about our sons? How can we teach boys to empathize, solve problems, and relate to others in a healthy way while they're young?

Wider thought we should start with the things they spend the most time with: toys. She wondered why toys that encourage friendship and empathy are usually marketed to girls.

"The lack of dolls for boys sends the message to our sons that this kind of play isn't for them," Wider said.

So Wider created a company to smash stereotypes about boys and dolls. And people are loving it.

Who wouldn't love to have a dinosaur explorer as a buddy? All photos are from Wonder Crew and used with permission.

Enter Wonder Crew, a new line of dolls inspired by boys. The premise is simple: Each 15-inch soft-bodied doll, known as a Crewmate, combines the adventure of an action figure with the emotional connection of a stuffed animal.

When playing with Crewmates, the goal is to have boys realize that the dolls are just like them instead of idolizing action figures for superhuman strength and other unattainable abilities. A successful Kickstarter campaign proved the idea had merit.

"Kickstarter not only funded our first production, but it's proven that there is public interest," Wider said. "We're thrilled to get the opportunity to make a difference."

Parents can purchase a Crewmate and various interchangeable packs for different adventures. The cool part? Each pack includes gear that a child can wear to be a part of the action.

"That helps form the teamwork vibe and brings kids further into the imaginative play experience," Wider said.

Transform from a superhero to a chef just like that.

This is a cool concept, and all — but will boys really want to play with dolls? Is society ready for this?

We just might be.

Recently, a Super Bowl commercial featuring grown, muscular men who violently run into other on a football field for a living, used their hands to style the hair of their young daughters.

The response to the ad was overwhelmingly positive. Why? Because people love seeing men with a sensitive side.

In order to grow into a man with a sensitive side, it helps if our boys start by embracing theirs at a young age.


Quality time between a boy and a doll may not be a bad thing.

"Boys have feelings, and it's time for their toys to catch up," Wider said. "Why wouldn't a boy want a friend or little one to take care of, nurture, adventure out with?"

Having boys who learn to embrace their emotions properly is serious business — especially since a recent study found that over 80% of men were uncomfortable sharing their emotions and problems with others. Surely it's not a coincidence that 3 out of 4 suicides are committed by men. It's hard to seek help if you're not willing to talk about it.

And if you think this is another toy company that lacks diversity, think again.

An African-American Crewmate named Theo is in production this year, and there are female Crewmates on the horizon as well. Wider and her team want to ensure every child feels represented.

Girls can join in on the fun too.

Girls dig Wonder Crew as well.

But to start, she wants to focus on boys.

"Let's give boys the option to create a play experience that resonates," Wider said. "Human connection is not gender-specific."

A group of very happy boys.

From the looks of it, Wonder Crew is delivering on that message.
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The future of toys for boys? This new doll is more like actual men ... and less like Ken.

We talk a lot about girls and women having negative body image thanks to the endless barrage of unattainable standards presented by the media.

But what about boys?

Are boys' perceptions of themselves negatively affected by being presented with unattainable standards of physical appearance?

Photo by iStock.

Nickolay Lamm thinks so — and he wants to do something about it. Lamm is the creative mastermind behind the original Lammily doll, a realistic Barbie-type doll that he created based on the CDC's measurements of an average 19-year-old woman.

Now, he's back and ready to tackle the issues he feels boys and men face: to be tall and muscular, to have a full head of hair, and a whole lot more.

"It would be unfair to ignore the fact that boys too are affected," he told Upworthy.

From his desire to begin chipping away at these unrealistic standards for boys and men came the newest Lammily doll:

Photos provided by Nickolay Lamm, used with permission.

This doll was created based on the proportions of the average 19-year-old man, provided by a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. Lamm is currently crowd funding to begin producing and selling it.

Unlike other dolls (ahem, Ken), the focus of this one isn't six-pack abs and impressive quad muscles. It's on him as a person — his personality and how he treats others.

The website sums up the new Lammily doll:

"Lammily Redefines What It Means to Be Manly
He may not have a six-pack, but he has a fantastic sense of humor.
He may not have the biggest biceps, but he has a big heart.
He may not look like a runway model, but he values himself for who he truly is, and always makes sure to pay the same respect to others!
In following with these themes, a storybook pamphlet will be included with each doll illustrating his background story."



"With the realistically proportioned boy dolls, I want to show boys that you don't have to look like a superhero to be a superhero," Lamm explained.

He recognizes the pressure on girls and women is more overt and unrelenting, but it's not right to ignore the pressure boys feel simply because it's not as severe.

He hopes that the new Lammily doll is a step in the right direction.

Whether we want to talk about it or not, boys have self-esteem issues too.

"Many men are unable to achieve the cultural body ideal due to genetics or other factors, and they feel less worthy as a result," said Jennifer Carter, a psychologist at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center who specializes in sports psychology and eating disorders for both men and women.

"It is well documented that boys and men have increasing negative body image, and those negative thoughts and feelings about themselves can affect self-esteem."

However, Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child and family psychotherapist and author of "The Self-Aware Parent," pointed out that while "boys experience negative self esteem about their appearance ... the focus is less important for males than females." She noted that men "face different challenges including endowment with sports and athletic prowess, earning power, and the kind of car they drive."

The question is, will the new dolls make a difference?

While Walfish is a little more reserved in her optimism — "boys do not gravitate toward doll play with the same frequency and urgency as girls," she noted — Carter felt good about the dolls. "I think introducing a variety of body sizes that accurately reflect real bodies for both genders has great potential to positively influence body image and self-esteem," she said.

Lamm launched the crowd funding just two days ago and is over one-third of the way to his goal, so it's safe to say that people are ready for this! If you'd like to support the campaign or pre-order a doll, you can do so by visiting his site.

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