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via @5kids5catssomedogstoo/TikTok

Lynalice Bandy shares what her home looks like after working six 10-hour days and getting no help from her husband.

Household inequity is getting better in some households. In others, it's completely out of control. A viral TikTok video highlights an extreme version of inequality that many wives and mothers in heterosexual relationships face. However, the mom in this story hit her limit and won’t deal with it anymore. Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on TikTok, posted a video that showed her home looking like a disaster after she worked six 10-hour days straight while her husband did nothing to help.

Her time-lapse video shows every room in the house completely trashed, with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere. "Shampoo on the carpets in the girls' room, nail polish all over nugget covers, hair, and carpet. Scissors were used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and two nugget covers," wrote the mom. “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day,” she captioned the video. “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here, but as you can see…These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here."


@5kids2catsandsomechaos

#divorce #parentingfail #messyhouse #whenwomen #depressionanxiety #clean #satifying

She says her husband’s excuse was that he was focused on doing his schoolwork and couldn’t pay attention to the kids. "Now, that school is out for a break, he doesn't have that excuse anymore," Bandy says, noting that all of his attention has been focused on “the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

In a follow-up video, Bandy announced that she left her husband after the debacle.

The original video received over 17,000 comments, many of which were from supportive women. "You deserve much better, and he deserves to be alone. Much love to you from someone that left that life behind almost 20 yrs ago. You'll get here, too," Angela LaRoche wrote.

"Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!" Japanese with Jenny wrote. "That home is beautiful because of YOU," Hillary added. "You put in so much work, and it is not unseen by me and so many others. But, you DO deserve better. Proud of you."

@5kids2catsandsomechaos

Sounds about right…

Even though Bandy’s experience with her husband is an extreme case of a couple whose domestic duties are way out of balance, it points to a problem that plagues many households. Even though it’s 2025 and families are becoming more equal, women still do significantly more housework than men.

A study utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics' American Time Use Survey found that women 15 years and older spend 5.7 hours daily doing housework and looking after kids and elders. Men in the same age group do an average of 3.6 hours of daily domestic work. That’s a 37% difference in time spent on household responsibilities.

 domestic duties, marriage inequality, lazy husbands, messy houses, household chores, upset woman, tired woman A woman who is upset that she has to do chores again.via Canva/Photos

Further, women who work an average of 35 hours a week spend 4.9 hours a day on household chores and child care, while men who work the same amount spend an average of 3.8 hours.

The comments show that many women are frustrated with their husbands for not doing their fair share. Hopefully, this video will encourage more people to speak out about domestic inequality and for more men to step up and do their part.

Nearly two years after Lynalice left her husband, she and her five children are living together in a new home. Her recent videos show that she's having difficulty keeping it clean because she's been working 60-plus hours a week and suffers from ADHD. Being the single mother of five has to be tough, so she has developed a new motto: "Progress, not perfection." In November 2024, she shared a video of her and her family getting things together in their new home.

@5kids2catsandsomechaos

Can you spot how many times Winky sits in a box or plops for belly rubs? #cleaning #messyhouse #clean #timelapse #oddlysatisfying #grwm #carpetcleaning #cattok

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Celebrity

Nicole Kidman fesses up to the unorthodox phone rule she has with husband Keith Urban

It sounds weird, but the couple has been married for 19 years — so they must be doing something right.

Galeria de burningkarma, CC BY 2.0

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman share one secret that's helped sustain their 19 year marriage.

Long before Nicole Kidman began her long-term relationship with AMC theaters, she was committed to husband and country singer Keith Urban. The two have happily been together since 2006—which is a good run for any modern day marriage, but most certainly a Hollywood one. Celebrity marriages have been shown in some studies to be more likely than your average relationship to end in divorce. These marriages certainly feel volatile to us normie outsiders. When big-time celebrities split, it's often very public, all over entertainment news and TMZ, and often pinned (rightly or not) on steamy affairs with other celebrities.

So for Kidman and Urban to be going strong almost 20 years later, it indicates they're definitely doing something right inside their home. Perhaps their nearly decades-long success can be partially attributed to one surprising communication rule: no texting.

While appearing on the Something To Talk About podcast in 2023, Kidman shared that she was the one who initiated the unconventional agreement to (almost) never send text messages to each other.

nicole kidman keith urban, nicole kidman, keith urban, marriage, communication, marriage tips, divorce, celebrity marriage, love, family Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman look really happy together, but like any marriage, it takes work. Giphy

"We never text each other, can you believe that? We started out that way – I was like, 'If you want to get a hold of me, call me…"I wasn't really a texter.,” the Moulin Rouge actress shared.

She added that while Urban did attempt texting her a few items early on, he eventually switched when Kidman wasn’t very responsive. And now, 18 years later, they only call each other.

“We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say. We talk all the time and we FaceTime but we just don’t text because I feel like texting can be misrepresentative at times…I don’t want that between my lover and I,” she told Parade.

There are, of course, some pros and cons to calling over texting. Research has shown that people who call feel more connected to one another vs. texting, with the voice being an integral component of bonding.

As our society becomes increasingly more distant and lonely, finding those moments might be more important than ever.

At the same time, calling can invoke a lot more anxiety compared to texting, which could lead someone to not communicating at all. Also, I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to call my partner for mundane things like “don’t forget the eggs” would drive me crazy.

Still, Kidman is right that texting can be extremely fraught for anyone in a close romantic, family, or friend relationship. Tone is hard to gauge and it's easy to misinterpret someone's intention when you read their messages. Jokes can come across as serious statements or passive aggressive jabs. It's also easier to be snarky and combative over text when you don't have to look the person in the eye and sit in the discomfort.

Finally, Kidman and Urban may just be in that generational sweet spot where they're not big on texting. The couple are closing in on their 60s, making them elder members of Generation X. People in that generation, while tech-savvy enough, sometimes aren't as fluent in the nuances of texting tone, punctuation, and emoji use, which puts them at even greater risk of being misinterpreted and running into conflicts.

Kudos to them for being self-aware enough to dodge that minefield altogether.

Regardless of whether or not you adopt Kidman and Urban’s no-texting rule, perhaps the bigger takeaway is that relationship longevity depends on being able to establish your own rules.

One that feels good and that each partner is able to stick to. Especially when it comes to communication.

Some couples swear by the old "never go to bed angry," school of thought. Others have unique rules or schedules to keep the romantic side of their lives before. There's no universal right way to do it, but the couples who communicate and come up with their own guardrails are definitely on the right track.

As Urban himself told E! News at the CMT Music Awards, "I have no advice for anybody. You guys figure out whatever works for you…We're figuring it out. You figure it out. Everybody's different. There's no one size fits all."

Luckily, there are many ways to have good text hygiene, without having to do away with it completely. Very Well Mind suggests to avoid texting too many questions, and to be respectful of your partner's schedule (probably best to not text them while they’re sleeping just to say “hey,” for example). Nor should texting be used to argue or deal with conflict. Lastly, probably save the lengthy, in-depth conversations for a phone call. Fifteen heart emojis are totally fine though.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Modern Families

Divorce lawyer uses his own ex-wife as a perfect example of how to view love after marriage ends

A divorce attorney sheds his cynicism about marriage to give rock-solid advice.

Canva

A couple sits back to back seeming distressed.

Divorce can be one of life's hardest experiences. The cold, hard truth that not all relationships are fixable can feel excruciating when what one thought would be a forever love comes crashing down instead. But just because some marriages (or love stories) end in a split, it doesn't mean there aren't lessons to be learned. In fact, the pain could actually propel a person in a better direction, and into the arms of the "right match."

Divorce attorney James Sexton, Esq. (who deems himself "America's Divorce Lawyer" on Instagram) gives many inspiring (and, of course, practical) talks on the matter. In a clip making the rounds online, he gets extra vulnerable, sharing the idea that if you can strip away your ego and all the jealousy that might come with it, you'll get precious hindsight, wiped clean with perspective.

Tami Wollensak's, who does client-based work in divorce law, shard a clip of Sexton getting personal, using the chyron, "The best relationship advice you'll hear," on Instagram In the clip, Sexton shares, "My ex-wife is married for over a decade now to a phenomenal guy. Who is perfect for her. And he's nothing like me, by the way. Like if you met him—if you met both of us—you'd go, 'Well, no one could love both of these guys.' Like if you like THIS flavor, you wouldn't like this flavor. Like I'm impatient, fast-talking, skip-to-the-end, we've gotta land this plane, c'mon."

Sexton slows down his speech and softens his voice. "And he's a therapist. He's chill. He's patient. And they're perfect together."

What he says next is extra heartfelt and eye-opening: "And I can say that as someone who loves her and loved her. And knows her, and knew her. And I think if we can radically view, honestly, without jealousy—look at it and just go, 'Yeah. This is the love this person needed.' It doesn't mean my love sucks. Just means it wasn't the right one for this person. Ya know?"

Wollensak writes her own commentary on the page: "Letting Go with Love & Respect. Divorce doesn’t have to mean hate. It’s possible to let go of a marriage while still respecting—and even loving—the person you once chose. Loving your ex in a new way doesn’t mean you wish you were still together. It means you honor what you shared, appreciate what you learned, and release each other with kindness." She adds:

✅ You can respect them without agreeing with them.
✅ You can love them as a co-parent or as part of your past, even if you no longer love them as a partner.
✅ You can move forward with peace instead of resentment.

These words seem to truly resonate in the comment section. One says quite profoundly, "I'm not going to find someone better than you. I'm going to find someone better for me."

A few ask for Sexton's number—some because they need divorce advice and others because they think he's cute.

Another writes, "This is such a refreshing perspective on love and letting go."

This person went in a little deeper: "If you truly loved someone, you would want the best for them, especially if it’s not you. It’s hard to find your 'perfect' match, and anyone who is jealous, angry, or wants you to suffer after you break up never truly loved you—they thought they were entitled to you."

Democracy

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau shares the big understanding that can make democracies healthy again

In an Upworthy exclusive, Canada's "unofficial" first lady shares the root of political dysfunction.

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau at the White House.

Going through a divorce is one of the most psychologically stressful things someone can experience, right after the death of a spouse (and divorce is a sort of death of its own). But for mother of three Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, her split with Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been even more devastating because it happened on the world’s stage.

The 2023 breakup resulted in Grégoire Trudeau experiencing chronic stress, so she turned to the yoga mat and self-regulation to find strength through the painful transition. "I have never been more attuned and caring of my mental health than through this whole process," she told Yahoo Canada. "I have been pushed to dig into my authenticity and to put my attachment issues aside.”

Grégoire Trudeau documented her struggles and triumphs in a recent memoir, Closer Together: Knowing Ourselves, Loving Each Other, where she discusses living with an eating disorder, confronting difficult truths, and finding a deeper connection to herself. Ultimately, it’s a story about overcoming adversity to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Justin Trudeau

Sophie Gr\u00e9goire Trudeau, Justin Trudeau, Canada, Prime Minister, Hamburg Justin und Sophie Trudeau at the Global Citizen Festival in Hamburg. via Frank Schwichtenberg/Wikimedia Commons

On June 24, 2025, she shared her journey at Aspen Ideas: Health during a discussion called “Sophie Grégoire Trudeau: A Personal Wellness Journey.” After the talk, she sat down with Upworthy to share a fascinating connection she made between mental health and politics: healthy democracies require citizens who feel safe in their bodies.

How to create healthy democracies

“Feeling safe in our bodies is a primal need. We all want to feel safe in our bodies. So, if you look at Abraham Maslow's pyramid, safety and having food on your table, a roof over your head—if safety is not there, it's game over for everything else. So, physical safety and emotional safety allows for better human connection. Better human connection means healthier democracies,” she told Upworthy.

She adds that when we are in survival mode, we don’t have time for our deeper needs and lack the bandwidth to develop or practice tolerance and empathy towards others. “You will not be thriving, but you'll be in more of a survival state, and when you're in that mode, your body is doing what it needs to save you. So you don't have much more energy and acceptance or tolerance to give to anyone.”

Sophie Gr\u00e9goire Trudeau, White House, Melania Trump, Washington DC, first lady Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Melania Trump.The White House/Wikimedia Commons

When we lack the space for empathy, it becomes harder to understand others, which can throw us into an unending loop of negativity. This can lead to constant rumination about how others are making your life miserable. “It goes on and on and on and on, and it never stops, and then you go and consume something on TikTok or on social media that is about how it's others' fault all the time. 'Well, of course you're miserable, it's their fault,' so that reinforces your rumination process.”

Once people stop showing compassion and empathy for one another, the entire democratic process, from how we discuss issues and culture—whether at our kitchen tables or on social media—is affected. The good news, according to Grégoire Trudeau, is that just like negativity can spiral out of control, positivity can do the same. “A negative loop will reinforce a negative loop, but a positive loop will reinforce a positive loop," she told Upworthy. “So, from a psychological perspective, we can help the brain do that by watching what we consume to stop the negative rumination process.”

The connection Grégoire Trudeau makes between politics and safety is a valuable reminder to all of us who wish to engage in the democratic process while promoting healthy discourse. How we engage with the other side in a debate reveals a great deal more about us than it does about them. When we find ourselves engaging in negativity or refusing to listen to another person’s needs, it may be a clear sign that there’s a significant problem we need to address within ourselves.

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