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Boomer dad plays song to comfort his daughter going through divorce and it's simply perfect

Sometimes you don't need words.

@jac.rsoe8/TikTok

Some dads just get it.

There’s no shortage of stories out there showing how emotionally distant or out of touch some baby boomers can be. Younger generations are so fed up with it that they have their own catchphrase of frustration, for crying out loud. The disconnect becomes especially visible in parenting styles. Boomers, who grew up with starkly different views on empathy, trauma and seeking help, have a reputation for being less than ideal support systems for their children when it comes to emotional issues.

But even if they often have a different way of showing it, boomer parents do have love for their children, and many try their best to be a source of comfort in some way when their kid suffers. Occupational therapist Jacqueline (@jac.rose8) recently shared a lovely example of this by posting a video of her boomer dad helping her through a divorce in the best way he knew how.

Turns out, it was the perfect thing.

“My husband just said he’s divorcing me and my dad came over and I was non-functional in bed,” Jacqueline wrote her video, adding that “...boomer dad didn’t know what to do, so he played his favorite song, the Dua Lipa ‘Rocket Man’ remix 😂”

In the clip, Jacqueline’s dad never really looks at her, but shifts the focus by describing what he imagines while listening to the song and performing the sweetest dad dance ever.

Watch:

@jac.rose8 #divorcetok #divorcesucks #divorcesupport #divorcesupportforwomen #divorcesupportsquad #supportivedad #disabilitytiktok ♬ original sound - Jacqueline

The heartwarming moment served as a great reminder that words aren’t always necessary.

‘“I am CRYING. This is so precious, he is trying his hardest to be there for you in any capacity. How pure ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “This would instantly make me feel better.”

Even Jacqueline shared in the comments that her dad “didn’t know what to say but he was there and helped me in such a sweet way. He’s the best 🥰”

Proving that he has multiple love languages, Jacqueline later shared that her dad also went out to Home Depot to replace her lightbulbs. Not only that, but her mom also made Jacqueline’s favorite dinner. Maybe boomers are okay after all.

Really, it goes to show that great parents can be found in every generation. Part of what makes them great is knowing that they don't need to be perfect in order to show up when things are hard. Being there and sharing their love is enough.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Parenting

His mother gave him a 'husbands in training' course as a child. Every parent should do it.

Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn't just be something we pick up by accident.

via Doug Weaver/TikTok

Doug Weaver explains "Husbands in Training."

Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, about half of those will end in divorce.

Research published in the Couple Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young and financial problems.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

Look how well that’s going.

Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

"When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called 'Husbands in Training,'" he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. "It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband."

Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on "the ethics of the porn industry." His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

"There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum," Doug said. "There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn't."

Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. "We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being," Doug explained.

@dougweaverart

Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story

The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. "A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. "So, he decided he also wanted to take 'Husbands in Training.'"

The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. "My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day," he shared in his TikTok clip.

However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign last month.

The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a new YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn't just be something we pick up by accident.


This article originally appeared on 4.19.22








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Divorce lawyer tears up recalling a case he won but wishes he hadn't

"She's poor, that's why she's going to lose."

Photo credit: Canva

Divorce lawyer cries recalling case he shouldn't have won

People either love lawyers or hate them but one thing will always be true, if you find yourself in need of legal assistance, you hope to have a lawyer on your side. But no matter your personal beliefs about lawyers, they're not all out to get unsuspecting people. Many lawyers get into the profession to help people in need and are empathetic to the misfortune of others.

James Sexton is a divorce lawyer that recently sat down with Steven Bartlett on his podcast "The Diary of a CEO" to discuss what he's seen in his work. Things took an emotional turn when Sexton opens up about a case that still haunts him because according to the attorney, he shouldn't have won the case. The clip that shows Sexton becoming overcome with emotion is a small glimpse into the nearly three hour episode about the breakdown of marriages.

In this clip posted to TikTok, Sexton shares about his former client who was a pimp at the time that had been violently abusive to the mother of his children. The woman took the man to court with photographic evidence of the abuse she sustained at the hands of his client. It was seemingly a quick case that should've ended in a victory for the mother who experienced the abuse but that turned out to be wishful thinking.

All Rise Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy

Sexton explains, "there was a case that I won that I should've lost. I represented a pimp, that's what he did for a living. He's in prison for a long, long time now, but at the time he had very brutally abused a woman who he had kids with and the lawyer on the other side of the case, the lawyer who represented his co-parent, his victim if you will, was very inexperienced and a judge who was very impatient."

This quickly amounts to a disappointing situation where the judge was being unhelpful to the inexperienced attorney and Sexton is left watching helplessly as the green prosecutor struggles with basic court proceedings. Since Sexton was representing the defendant, he couldn't step in to offer assistance to the prosecutor who was fumbling a case in real time.

Judge Judy GIFGiphy

"The key piece of evidence they had was a photograph of this woman's face after my client had allegedly beat her up quite badly. And getting a photograph entered into evidence is very easy but it requires a very specific phrasing," he says before sharing the exact process. "For whatever reason, probably lack of experience, opposing counsel I guess didn't know how to get a photograph into evidence. Now normally in that situation a judge will be helpful but this judge was just not in the mood."

Because the opposing lawyer doesn't seem to understand the process to submit evidence, she never properly enters the photograph requiring Sexton to object to the questioning attempted. The divorce lawyer begins to choke up when recalling how flustered the inexperienced opposing counsel was becoming.

Season 13 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"I remember looking at the judge and thinking like, 'you're letting this happen. You're letting this happen, don't let this happen.," Sexton says as his voice shakes. "She's poor. She's poor, that's why she's gonna lose. She's gonna lose because she's poor and she can't afford a lawyer and he's going to win because he can afford a lawyer that knows how to put a document into evidence and there's something really wrong about that."

People were moved by the lawyers vulnerability in sharing his emotions around watching an injustice unfold as others share their frustration with how the system works.


@steven Top divorce lawyer James Sexton opens up about the saddest case that he’s ever worked on 😭 #podcast #podcastclip #clips #sad #emotional #emotion #law #attorney #crying #cry #teamwork #marriage #america #usa #diaryofaceo ♬ original sound - Steven Bartlett

"In a weird way, it makes me very happy that he’s very emotional about this. Takes a great amount of empathy to put your work aside and recognize her position," someone writes.

"The way that the opposite lawyer shows more empathy then a judge is actually the worst thing that could happen to you in court," another person laments.

"It had to have taken an immense amount of bravery for this woman to even show up to court and go up against her abuser. the fact that the odds were stacked up against her like this.. heartbreaking," one commenter shares.

Episode 2 Judge GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"Using the right combination of words should never be a reason concrete evidence can’t be submitted. That’s insane," another chimes in.

Being a lawyer isn't always easy and sometimes good lawyers wind up representing terrible people while being bound by ethics to do their job to the best of their abilities. It's telling that this case still haunts Sexton and while his client won in court that day with the case against him being dismissed, it may be of some consolation to woman involved that he is now behind bars.

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Family

Mom has the perfect response to teen son who refuses to do 'girl' chores

What exactly are "girl" chores, anyway?

via Krampus Production/Pexels

A boy doing the dishes.

A 41-year-old mom with 3 boys, 12-year-old twins, and a 10-year-old, pays them $10 daily to do their chores. However, their pay is deducted $10 if they miss a day. The boys have to do their tasks 5 days a week, although it doesn’t matter which days they choose to work.

“This system has worked swimmingly for us since it started, the boys have always complied with completing their chores,” the mom wrote on Reddit.

Her 12-year-old son was getting ready to play Fortnite with a friend and told him he’d be ready in 15 minutes once he finished his chores. When the boys started playing the game, he told the friend he was in charge of dusting and sweeping the stairs, to which the friend responded, “It’s a good thing my parents don’t make me do girl chores.”

After learning what the friend said, the mom told her son that chores are genderless.

man cleaning a floor with a mopsilhouette of man standing near glass window during daytimePhoto by Gil Ribeiro on Unsplash

“I spoke with my son and explained to him that knowing how to clean was not specific to any gender, that it was a life skill everyone needed to know. I also told him that I understood that other families functioned differently; however, in our family, everyone did an equal share,” she wrote.

Over the next 3 days, the boy refused to do his “girl” chores. So, when allowance day came, the two brothers who did theirs received $50, but the 12-year-old who refused only got $20. The mom and the boy's father are divorced, so the 12-year-old called his dad to complain that he got $30 less, and the dad took his side.

“My ex-husband then proceeded to call me and tell me that I’m in the wrong for only giving him $20 and to imagine how it makes him feel that his brothers got more than he did. I explained to him that our other sons actually did their chores for all 5 days, so they were rewarded accordingly,” the mother wrote. “And assured him that if he had decided to start giving the boys an allowance, then he can run allowance however he wanted, but this was ultimately the system I had come up with.”

She added that her husband said she is being “insensitive” and “humiliating” their son.

The mom asked Reddit’s AITA subforum if she was in the wrong, and the commenters unanimously agreed that she was right. Other commenters noted that she made a smart decision leaving her ex-husband because he took the side of his child, who refused to do work for sexist reasons.

The only problem the commenters had was that the mom was being a little too generous by giving them $50 a week. That’s $600 a month for 3 kids.

"It’s the real world, you don’t do your job, you don’t get paid, and I actually think $10 a day is pretty generous for allowance," Longjumping-Gur-6581 wrote. "$10/day is insane for that age,” fIumpf added.

“You’re not taking money out of your son’s allowance, you’re not paying him for services not rendered,” Excitedorca wrote. “The sexist, misogynistic reasons behind not completing the chores need to be corrected and that won’t happen by rewarding it.”


This article originally appeared on 9.22.23

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