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Man shares a simple example of how to 'perfectly' handle his stuttering

His brief interchange answered common questions about what to do—and not do—if a person stutters.

Learning some basic stuttering etiquette can make everyone feel more comfortable.

For some people, talking comes easily and words and conversation flow freely. For others, an obstacle can impede that flow, whether it's something that manifests psychologically, like social anxiety, or something that manifests physically, like a stutter.

People who find it super easy to talk might not know how to handle talking with those who don't, and some people's reactions can make a person who struggles feel even more uncomfortable than they already do. Most people don't want to make others feel bad, so learning about an unfamiliar perspective, such as what a person with a stutter might experience, can be helpful in avoiding unintentional discomfort or offense.

Travis, a speech-language pathologist who helps educate the public about stuttering, shared a video example of someone handling his stuttering "perfectly." The video shows Travis in his car at a drive-up window getting his food from a fast food worker and stuttering as he asks for some barbecue sauce.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

There are a few things the employee does right here. First, as Travis points out, the guy maintained eye contact with him through the stutter. Second, he didn't try to finish Travis's sentence or guess at what he wanted to say. Third, he waited patiently until he got it all out. And finally, he responded to Travis the way he would respond to anyone asking for barbecue sauce, as if everything was normal. Because it was. For a person with a stutter, this is how normal conversation goes.

As people in the comments pointed out, these are often the biggest questions people have about stuttering. Should I keep looking at the person while the stutter is happening? Is that more or less comfortable for them? If they're stuttering and I think I know what they want to say, should I go ahead and say it or wait until they get the words out? These are honest questions that people with no experience with stuttering might wonder about but don't feel comfortable asking directly.

stuttering, stutter, eye contact, conversation, connectionDon't avoid eye contact with a person who stutters. Photo credit: Canva

Commenters were thrilled to get guidance from someone with experience:

"I always thought maintaining eye contact would make someone feel more vulnerable. But I see it makes people feel seen, listened too and normal."

"Acting normal is so key. Ignore the stutter. Let them speak! Sometimes trying to help by filling in words is more hurtful than anything. My brother and dad have a stutter so I understood how to help. I later ended up managing an employee with a severe stutter that was never ending at first. He stopped stuttering when he realized I never once flinched, blinked too hard or did anything to suggest I was trying to help him along, and he felt secure that he had my full attention. Imagine if you're talking to your friend like normal, you let them speak and take their time. It is no different for stutters in my experience. Hopefully that helps people that encounter this. People can really be so intentionally horrible or unintentionally harmful when they're trying to help. Bless you!"

"This is good information to know. I'm always mortified when I think I'm being helpful but later learn that I wasn't."

"I’m so glad I saw this. I have a regular customer that comes into my place of work who has a stutter. I always feel bad because I don’t know if maintaining eye contact makes him stutter worse, or helps him. But I do exactly this. Maintain eye contact, wait for him quietly to finish, and carry about just like any customer."

"I love that you're saying what is the right thing to do. It's very important information. A lot of us have very good intentions and care about others, but we may not know how to tactfully handle some situations. Thank you for educating us!"

Other people who have experience with stuttering also weighed in to share their thanks.

"This healed a huge part of my preteen self. I used to always talk like this. No matter what. Thank you for being vulnerable like this and showing so many people. I saw this today, and I got humbled again. It put me right back there. I need to remember and honor that version of me more often. Thank you."

"I really appreciate when people wait for me to get my words out instead of finishing my sentence for me or trying to guess what i want to say. good for you dude!"

"Thanks a lot for showing your stutter and educating people! As a person who stutters myself, I find that most of the times what keeps people from truly connecting with me while I talk is the embarrassment of not knowing how to behave. That’s why I LOVE when they accept their embarrassment and ask me what would be best to do. Be genuine, no worries!"

conversation, stuttering, stutter, how to talk to a person with a stutter, stuttering etiquetteStuttering etiquette is actually quite simple.Photo credit: Canva

"I’ve had a stutter my entire life. I completely understand EVERYTHING you said. God, it feels so good to be seen. Love the videos man, good luck."

What exactly causes stuttering is a bit of a mystery. There are different kinds of stuttering, including developmental stuttering that begins in childhood and stuttering from other causes, such as a neurological event like a stroke or some sort of emotional or psychological trauma. Family history and genetics can play a role, as stuttering appears to run in families, and structural differences in the brain may contribute to a stutter as well.

Whatever the cause, stuttering affects around 1 in 100 adults, so chances are we'll all meet people who live with it. The more we learn from those folks, the more kind, compassionate, and inclusive we can all be.

A man with ALS communicating via brain waves.

I can’t imagine worse torture than being stuck in a locked-in state caused by amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). ALS is a disease of the nervous system where nerve cells slowly break down, causing muscles to weaken throughout the body.

Patients who survive through the weakening process eventually reach a "locked-in" state where even though their brain still functions, they are completely paralyzed with their eyes mostly closed.

In this state, the person is unable to communicate. People with ALS typically live two to five years after being diagnosed and usually die from paralysis of the respiratory diaphragm.

However, life may get a little better for people with ALS after a new development that has allowed a man to form sentences using only his brain waves. In 2022, Researchers at the Wyss Center for Bio and Neuroengineering in Geneva, Switzerland, developed a brain electrode that they implanted into a 36-year-old man in a locked-in state that has allowed him to communicate.

“Ours is the first study to achieve communication by someone who has no remaining voluntary movement and hence for whom the BCI is now the sole means of communication,” said Dr. Jonas Zimmermann, a senior neuroscientist at the Wyss Center.

“This study answers a long-standing question about whether people with complete locked-in syndrome–who have lost all voluntary muscle control, including movement of the eyes or mouth–also lose the ability of their brain to generate commands for communication,” Zimmermann added.

After three months of unsuccessful attempts, the patient was able to spell “yes” or “no” and to form sentences through a speller program.

One of his first requests was to be put in an elevated position when there are guests in the room. He also was able to ask for one thing he probably needed more than anything at that point: a beer. He had to be dying for a beer. He also asked for the band Tool to be played “loud.”

The electrodes allowed him to interact with his 4-year-old child, who he was able to call “my cool son.” He also asked for specific foods to be put into his feeding tube. “For food, I want to have curry with potato then Bolognese and potato soup,” he said.

This was the first time that brain electrodes were even implanted into a locked-in patient and researchers had no idea if they would work.

The scientists behind the groundbreaking technology are now seeking funding to provide similar implants for other people with ALS. “This is an important step for people living with ALS who are being cared for outside the hospital environment,” said George Kouvas, chief technology officer at the Wyss Center.

It’s stories like this that remind us that we should never take for granted the ability to communicate our basic needs. Let’s hope that the man with ALS will be able to drink as many beers as he likes and to be able to rock out to Tool as loud as possible for the rest of his days.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

A nasty note gets a strong response.

We've all seen it while cruising for spots in a busy parking lot: A person parks their whip in a disabled spot, then they walk out of their car and look totally fine. It's enough to make you want to vomit out of anger, especially because you've been driving around for what feels like a million years trying to find a parking spot.

You're obviously not going to confront them about it because that's all sorts of uncomfortable, so you think of a better, way less ballsy approach: leaving a passive aggressive note on their car's windshield.

Satisfied, you walk back to your car feeling proud of yourself for telling that liar off and even more satisfied as you walk the additional 100 steps to get to the store from your lame parking spot all the way at the back of the lot. But did you ever stop and wonder if you told off the wrong person?

What if that person on the receiving end of the note had a perfectly good explanation for why they're driving car with a disabled sticker and tag?

That's exactly what happened to Emma Doherty, who was surprised to see someone pen such vitriolic words to her in this letter she found on her car.

The language in the note is pretty harsh:

"You lazy conning b-tch. You did not have a disabled person with you! These spaces are reserved for people who need them!!!"

I get that avoiding conflict is something that's been trained into us, but maybe if whoever wrote this note decided to say something to Emma, this entire thing could've been cleared up entirely.

Instead, she had to take to Facebook to pick apart the anonymous grouch and explain her situation to the rest of us. And hopefully whoever wrote the note (if they see her post) understands why they were terribly wrong.

Emma is the mother of a terminally ill child, Bobby. Her ruthless and powerful message sheds light on the misconceptions associated with disabilities and helps to break the stigma that all impairments are visible, because they're not.

"To the person who put this on my car, which I had put my disabled badge fully on, I'm not angry at your pure ignorance, I'm actually upset with it. How dare you ever accuse anyone of not needing a disabled badge without knowing. I wish you had the balls to say this to my face and I would have told you (even tho I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you) but I'd have happily said why I have a badge."

"I promise to get the stigma away from people with disabled badges who don't "look disabled." I hope this gets shared and back to you and you will see my son is terminally ill, he's had over 15 operations, 3 open hearts, 2 stomach, lung and diaphragm and countless artery stenting operations and spent half his life on intensive care."

respect, community, disabilities, visible disability

Emma Doherty and her son Bobby.

SOURCE: FACEBOOK

In her post, she delineates the severity of Bobby's illness, which has put the young man through multiple surgeries and procedures that are no walks in the park.

"He's had 2 strokes and was paralyzed, brain damaged and has a spine and hip condition as well as a massive heart condition. The reason I didn't get his wheelchair out was because I was running late because my son, who had a MRI scan, CTSCAN and a dye for heart function yesterday, only got discharged late and was back in this morning so carried him in."

"But for your information not everyone who holds a blue badge needs to have a wheelchair! I've told ... security and broke down, I've sat through things nobody should see but why did your note break me? Because it's your pure ignorance towards others. I'm a single mom trying my best to hold it together for my son who's in and out if hospital. NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE and I hope you regret doing this and learn your lesson!”

Throughout her post, Emma simultaneously castigates the person and drives one important point home: Just because someone isn't in a wheelchair or crutches, doesn't mean they aren't disabled or in need of physical care or assistance.

I knew something would be said one day as every day I get looks and stares and see people whispering to each other about me and Bobby walking from the car. Everyone needs to stop and think before acting. I hardly ever let anything upset me but this did. How aggressive as well, and as for conning my son's disabled pass... [It] is not a con, he's actually seriously ill. I've added a picture of him to prove not everyone looks ill or disabled but can be seriously ill.

The mother clarifies at the end of the message that she's sure it wouldn't be a hospital staff member who wrote the message, because those who work in healthcare are well aware of the various reasons someone would have a disabled tag on their vehicle.

"I'd like to point out this has nothing to do with the hospital itself. They were lovely with me when I was upset and they treat us with every respect, always have [in our] 3 long years with them. They've saved my son's life many times. It [was] just somebody who was parked [there].”

Her post quickly went viral, with many people echoing her sentiments and thanking her for helping to clear up that tons of people suffer from different disabilities and that not all of them are so readily apparent.

SOURCE: FACEBOOK

And as it turns out, Emma isn't the only parent who's dealt with judgmental individuals who gave them flack for having a disabled sticker on their car. As if having to deal with a sick child isn't enough, they also have to suffer through getting guff from randos on the street over a measly parking spot.

SOURCE: FACEBOOK

Bobby's condition has left him without pulmonary artery function, which means that blood will not pump throughout his body. As you can imagine, walking long distances — or performing many physical tasks otherwise healthy individuals take for granted — are out of the question for the 3-year-old.

As a result of her son's condition, Emma has to take him to the hospital for treatments throughout the week, and seeing the note on her car while having to deal with that ultimately set her off. Thankfully, she used her anger to send a positive message.

Floored by the positive response to her message, Emma went back online to thank people for being so receptive and helping to spread awareness that disabilities come in many forms.


"My inbox is full of people who have told me they have been stared at or even spat at. This is a serious problem and I just want it to change. I am hoping by sharing what I went through people will start to think before acting."

This article first appeared five years ago.



Science

She tattooed half her face and you'd never know it. Her skills are just that good.

This incredible medical tattoo technology is giving renewed hope to burn victims.

All images via CBC News/YouTube

Basma Hameed runs a tattoo shop, of sorts...


Meet Samira Omar.

The 17-year-old was the victim of a horrific bullying incident.



A group of girls threw boiling water on her, leaving her badly burned and covered in scars and discoloration.

screenshot of woman wearing a hijab

17-year-old Samira Omar

All images by CBC News/YouTube

She thought the physical scars would be with her forever—until she met Basma Hameed. Hameed runs a tattoo shop, of sorts—but her tattoo artistry doesn't look like you'd expect. Basma is a paramedical tattoo specialist. Instead of tattooing vibrant, colorful designs, she uses special pigments that match the skin in order to conceal scars.

It looks like this:

woman in a hijab revealing scars

Hameed looking at Samira’s facial scarring.

All images by CBC News/YouTube

woman in hijab speaks with a medical professional

Hameed talking over the procedure.

All images by CBC News/YouTube

someone showing scarring on their hands

Visible scars and discoloration of the skin.

All images by CBC News/YouTube

gif of tattoo needle covering scarring on a hand

Tattooing the visible scarring on her hand

All images by CBC News/YouTube

With Basma's help, patients like Samira can see a dramatic decrease in their scar visibility and discoloration after a few treatments. She even offers free procedures for patients who are unable to afford treatment. That's because Basma knows firsthand just how life-changing her work can be for those coping with painful scars left behind.

Check out the video below to find out more about Hameed's practice, including how she became her very first patient.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.