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3-part study on 'Fear of Happiness' reveals a key mistake we all make when we're feeling down

Ever gone digging inside a compliment to see if you could find an insult buried inside?

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We need to stop doing this to ourselves.

Negative moods have a way of snowballing, of picking up steam and being notoriously difficult to break out of. We know that people who are depressed, show depressive symptoms, or are simply feeling down have a more negative way of viewing things. In fact, it's been argued that adults as a general rule use negative information far more than positive information to learn from or make decisions. This negativity bias permeates much of our lives!

But is it possible that we actively go out of our way to avoid things that might make us feel better? For example, why don't we just look at pictures of puppies, or graciously accept a boost from a compliment offered by a friend? A forthcoming study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology recently put this question to the test.


Chandler sad from FriendsGiphy

There were three parts to the fascinating study out of the University of Minnesota Twin Cities.

In the first part, participants were presented with a prompt, or the beginning part of a very short story. Psychology Today offers an example: “You are walking to the office. You only have about 5 minutes left of your walk. You are debating whether to stop and buy a coffee when…”

They were then asked to choose between three different endings; a positive one ("You see $10 on the sidewalk"), a neutral ("You see a coffee shop"), and a negative ("You trip and fall on the sidewalk") ending. Not surprisingly, people who had been determined to show depressive symptoms (which is not the same as having clinical depression) were less likely to select the positive ending.

The results were reproduced in the second part of the study, which was the same, except the language in the stories was shifted from “You" to the name of a fictitious other person.

The third part of the study was the most interesting. The negative ending to the story was altered in this round to be objectively wrong according to the details provided in the prompt.


Youre Wrong John C Mcginley GIFGiphy

Here's the example from Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD at Psychology Today: “Gary had $30 in his wallet to spend at the mall. He bought a T-shirt for $12, a pair of socks for $5, and a hat for $8. When he reached the cashier, he found that…

… he had $5 remaining in his wallet to buy a small accessory.”

…he didn’t have enough money and had to return one of the items.”

...the t-shirt was $15.”

The first option is inherently 'correct' according to the details of the story. The other two less desirable outcomes require a little mental gymnastics. You have to discard the information you originally received in order to make that version of the story work in your head.

People showing depressive symptoms were still less likely to choose the positive answer, even though it was the only correct one! This indicates that “individuals who are happiness-averse do not merely disregard potential positivity. The presence of positivity inhibits their ability to correctly solve problems," according to the study.

What does it all mean? It means that some people do indeed go out of their way, bending over backwards in some cases, to avoid positive stimulus.

Sad Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

Especially people who show depressive symptoms like low energy, low self-esteem, and hopelessness. What's fascinating about this particular study is that those depressive symptoms were identified using something called "Fear of Happiness."

What is "Fear of Happiness"? It’s not just a feeling, it’s actually a thing that can be measured. Also called cherophobia, mental health professionals use the Fear of Happiness Scale, sometimes called the Concerns About Positive Feelings scale, to get a better idea of what their patient is thinking and feeling. It offers questions participants must either Agree or Disagree with to various degrees. Questions include: “I worry that if I feel good something bad might happen," "I feel I don’t deserve to be happy," and "If you feel good, you let your guard down.”

The study indicates that people who are feeling badly may actually be uncomfortable on some level with the thought of feeling better, and may go out of their way to avoid stimuli that might improve their mood. The study’s authors say the results of the study could be useful in how we treat some types of depression. Common therapies often have patient try to reframe negative thoughts into positive ones, but this data says that might not be effective. Some people may have an aversion to positive thoughts and may dismiss them outright.

Of course, when it comes to clinical depression, mindset is only one small part. Regular therapy and even medication may be crucial when it comes to treatment. But I think it’s useful for all of us to know we may have a tendency to do this when our mood, energy, and self-esteem are low, and if we can force ourself to stop turning away from the good things that do come our way, we might be able to feel a lot better, a lot faster.

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Health

After she asked for a mental health day, a screenshot of her boss' response went viral

This is what leadership should look like. 💯

Image shared by Madalyn Parker

Madalyn shared with her colleagues about her own mental health.

Madalyn Parker wanted to take a couple days off work. She didn't have the flu, nor did she have plans to be on a beach somewhere, sipping mojitos under a palm tree. Parker, a web developer from Michigan, wanted a few days away from work to focus on her mental health.

Parker lives with depression. And, she says, staying on top of her mental health is absolutely crucial. "The bottom line is that mental health is health," she says over email. "My depression stops me from being productive at my job the same way a broken hand would slow me down since I wouldn't be able to type very well."

work emails, depression, office emails, community

Madalyn Parker was honest with her colleagues about her situation.

Photo courtesy Madalyn Parker.

She sent an email to her colleagues, telling them the honest reason why she was taking the time off.

"Hopefully," she wrote to them, "I'll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%."

Soon after the message was sent, the CEO of Parker's company wrote back:

"Hey Madalyn,

I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can't believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work."

Moved by her CEO's response, Parker posted the email exchange to Twitter.

The tweet, published on June 30, 2017, has since gone viral, amassing 45,000 likes and 16,000 retweets.

"It's nice to see some warm, fuzzy feelings pass around the internet for once," Parker says of the response to her tweet. "I've been absolutely blown away by the magnitude though. I didn't expect so much attention!"

Even more impressive than the tweet's reach, however, were the heartfelt responses it got.

"Thanks for giving me hope that I can find a job as I am," wrote one person, who opened up about living with panic attacks. "That is bloody incredible," chimed in another. "What a fantastic CEO you have."

Some users, however, questioned why there needs to be a difference between vacation time and sick days; after all, one asked, aren't vacations intended to improve our mental well-being?

That ignores an important distinction, Parker said — both in how we perceive sick days and vacation days and in how that time away from work is actually being spent.

"I took an entire month off to do partial hospitalization last summer and that was sick leave," she wrote back. "I still felt like I could use vacation time because I didn't use it and it's a separate concept."

Many users were astounded that a CEO would be that understanding of an employee's mental health needs.

They were even more surprised that the CEO thanked her for sharing her personal experience with caring for her mental health.

After all, there's still a great amount of stigma associated with mental illness in the workplace, which keeps many of us from speaking up to our colleagues when we need help or need a break to focus on ourselves. We fear being seen as "weak" or less committed to our work. We might even fear losing our job.

Ben Congleton, the CEO of Parker's company, Olark, even joined the conversation himself.

In a blog post on Medium, Congleton wrote about the need for more business leaders to prioritize paid sick leave, fight to curb the stigma surrounding mental illness in the workplace, and see their employees as people first.

"It's 2017. We are in a knowledge economy. Our jobs require us to execute at peak mental performance," Congleton wrote. "When an athlete is injured, they sit on the bench and recover. Let's get rid of the idea that somehow the brain is different."


This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Health

30 things people don't realize you're doing because of your depression

Do any of these speak to you?

Photo by Reneé Thompson on Unsplash

Depression manifests in many ways.

Most people imagine depression equals “really sad," and unless you've experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine—it's different for everyone.

To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people can't see, we asked The Mighty mental health community to share one thing people don't realize they're doing because they have depression.

Here's what they had to say:

1. “In social situations, some people don't realize I withdraw or don't speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I'm being rude or purposefully antisocial." — Laura B.

2. “I struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don't understand, but anxiety and depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer." — Juli J.

3. “Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think your friends don't actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation." — Brynne L.

4. “Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don't socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It's my safe bubble." — Eveline L.

5. “Going to bed at 9 p.m. and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 a.m." — Karissa D.

6. “Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I've said many times before, 'I laugh, so that I don't cry.' Unfortunately, it's all too true." — Kelly K.

man dealing with depressionman sitting on chair covering his eyesPhoto by christopher lemercier on Unsplash

7. “When I reach out when I'm depressed it's 'cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not because I want attention." — Tina B.

8. “I don't like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social. Not because I don't like being around people, but because I'm pretty sure everyone can't stand me." — Meghan B.

9. “I overcompensate in my work environment… and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an 'extra happy, bubbly personality.' As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I feel myself 'fall.' It's exhausting… I am a professional at hiding it." — Lynda H.

10. “The excessive drinking. Most people assume I'm trying to be the 'life of the party' or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it. But my issues are much deeper than that." — Teresa A.

11. “Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me." — Kelci F.

12. “Saying I'm tired or don't feel good… they don't realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally." — Lauren G.

a woman looks through blinds

more at instagram @joshrh19

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

13. “Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower, and I can't think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do — I don't really want anything. I isolate myself so I don't have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it's exhausting." — Erin W.

14. “Sometimes I'll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don't have the willpower to get up and make something to eat." — Kenzi I.

15. “I don't talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I'm 'stuck up.' I'm actually scared out of my mind worrying they don't like me, or that they think I'm 'crazy' by just looking at me…" — Hanni W.

16. “Not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things." — Jenny B.

17. “Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful I had taken out my anger on people who don't deserve it." — Christie C.

18. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. It's overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it." — Aislinn G.

19. “My house is a huge mess." — Cynthia H.

20. “I volunteer for everything, from going to PTO meetings to babysitting to cleaning someone else's house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and get out of the house because if I'm not needed, I won't be wanted." — Carleigh W.

If you're struggling with depression, check out these resources. You aren't alone.


This story was originally published on The Mighty and was posted seven years ago.

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Mental Health

Woman shares genius hack to turning a bad day around. It's easy and free.

Leave the world a better place.

Photo credit: Canva

Having a bad day? Try this easy hack to turn it around.

Having a bad day or even week is inevitable if you're a conscious human on planet earth. Bad days have no age limit or gender. They happen to the best of us even when we're doing our best to keep everything running as smoothly as possible. But the universe isn't set up to allow anyone to have complete control over everything happening in their lives. It will rain on someone's wedding day and Alanis Morissette will sing all about it.

You will will spill coffee on your shirt right before an interview or your new puppy's potty accident will collide with your well meaning robot vacuum. There will always be one seemingly small inconvenience that sets off a chain of events solidifying you in the bad day category. But when that happens, how do you turn it around?

One woman has found a simple solution to hack the bad day blues and it just may work for you when you're having a glum day as well.

Gigi Peache has been open about her struggles with different mental illnesses including severe bouts of depression so the Aussie is no stranger to bad days. After a more recent encounter with sadness, Peache did what she has done for quite a while, but this time she decided to share her secret in hopes to help others.

woman looking at the floor Photo by Tiago Bandeira on Unsplash

"Do you ever have a bad day? Because I have a lot of bad days and this is one thing I like to do when I'm having a bad day and it's come to my attention that other people don't do it because whenever I say it out loud they're like, 'oh, what?' And I really want to share it with you because I think it'll be beneficial because it's a nice way to put something positive back out into the universe," the woman says before further explaining that it's a way of making the world a better place.

Already, whatever Peache is going to say sounds promising since most people do want to make the world a better place, even if it doesn't always feel like it. So if someone is giving you a simple key to make the world better while also pulling yourself out of a sadness slump, people might be inclined to listen.

a woman looking out of a window with blinds Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Peache then shares something so sweet she can't help to be giddy about it, "so what I like to do is, I like to call and leave a compliment. Where do I call? Anywhere I've been! If I've been to a cafe and the girl that served me just...she just did her job, I'm calling, I'm talking to the manager and I'm leaving a compliment. 'Kelly did an amazing job. I'm blown away."

Through giggles the woman shares that she doesn't care where she's been that week, if she's having a bad day she will think back to anywhere she's gone and leave a compliment with the manager. She says she even does this if has no idea what the person's name is.

"It's just a silly little thing and I know and I know some people when they're having a bad day they want to talk to the manager and they want to complain, but no no no no, turn it around. Call and leave a compliment," Peache says before adding. "For all we know, that person was this far away from getting a promotion and now they've got it. For all we know they were this far away from getting fired and now they're not."


@gigi.peache How to have a slightly better bad day 😇🥰🌻 #kindness #badday #mentalhealth #goodvibes ♬ original sound - Gigi Peache

People love the idea, with one person writing, "omg I love this , I try to compliment someone when I'm out shopping etc when I'm down but this is even better."

Another person shares, "this is a great idea, I love it! plus, managers DO tend to want to know positive feedback because customers are far more likely to take the effort to leave a complaint rather than a compliment!"

"I’m going to start doing this! Adding it to my MH [mental health] Toolbox now," someone else says.

woman in gray hoodie smiling Photo by Brian Wangenheim on Unsplash

"LOVE this idea and will definitely be trying it out! So much negativity in this world - positivity is the way to go," one person chimes in.

"This is the sweetest thing & such a good mood booster," another writes as someone else points out an alternative for those who don't care for phone calls, "also, leaving good Google reviews and putting in the employees name, if you're too anxious to call. That's great as well!"

This trick may seem like it's not a big deal or something that isn't going to work, but it's free to try and the worse that happens is you make someone else smile.

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