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People in the '90s and early 2000s trying to explain the internet is pure comedy gold

Some were hilariously wrong, but David Bowie's was so spot on it’s almost scary.

Some in the late '90s and early '00s thought the internet was an overhyped idea doomed to fizzle.

Those of us who are old enough to remember the world before we became completely dependent on the internet could never have predicted what life would be like now. Some of the things the internet has enabled us to do—wireless video chats with friends halfway around the globe, ordering food to be delivered to our door at the click of a few buttons, virtual support groups for every possible interest or ailment—were the stuff of imaginary, far-futuristic worlds, surely not realistic to expect in our lifetimes. (I mean, I figured we'd have flying cars before we'd have computers we could fit in our pockets, yet here we are.)

The 1990s were this weird in-between phase where the tech geeks were all about the .com world and tech-reluctant normies were all, "Gretchen, stop trying to make the internet happen. It's not going to happen." Once the internet started becoming popular, some people did try to predict how it would all turn out.

Some predictions were wrong. Ridiculously, hilariously wrong. And on the flip side, David Bowie, in his apparently infinite wisdom, was so spot on it's almost scary.


Let's look at a prediction that turned out to be embarrassingly off-base. Former Head of Strategy at Amazon Studios Matthew Ball shared a clip from the Daily Mail newspaper in the year 2000 with the headline "Internet 'may be just a passing fad as millions give up on it.'"

"Researchers found that millions were turning their back on the world wide web, frustrated by its limitations and unwilling to pay high access charges," it reads.

"They say that e-mail, far from replacing other forms of communication, is adding to an overload of information."

(Go ahead and pause for maniacal laughter here.)

"Many teenagers are using the internet less now than previously, they conclude, and the future of online shopping is limited."

Ah, the adorable, pre-Amazon naivete.

Even a counter to that piece written by one Jane Wakefield a few days later had some hilarious lines in it. While urging not to throw out the the baby internet with the bathwater, Wakefield wrote, "It should come as no surprise to us that people are failing to see the point of the Internet. If you don't need access to a huge online encyclopaedia, if you don't fancy trying to buy a cheapish CD online, if you don't enjoy watching jerky videos of hardcore porn, then you might be right to question why you need a Net connection. Unlike TV (how many times have you heard the phrase "former TV watcher") the Internet is still dispensable.

Except of course for email."

BWAAHAAHHAAA. That's right. The only indispensable part of the web in 2000 was e-mail, which in some ways feels like the most archaic part of the internet now. Too funny.

David Bowie, on the other hand, predicted the impact the internet would have on society in 1999 and totally nailed it.

He was so right in that we had barely seen the tip of the iceberg in 1999. He was also right in that the impact to society—both good and bad—was unimaginable. Exhilarating and terrifying. We're living that now.

"The context and state of content is going to be so different to anything that we can really envisage at the moment," he said. "Where the interplay between the user and the provider will be so in sympatico it's going to crush our ideas of what mediums are all about."

Whoa. That's some seriously prescient prognosticating there, Bowie. (He really did see what was coming. He even started his own internet service provider in 1998 while other musicians scoffed at the world wide web.)

Going back just a bit further, Matthew Ball also shared an op-ed from a 1995 Newsweek in which Clifford Stoll writes that he is "most uneasy about this trendy and oversold community" of the internet. Ball said it "reads exactly like Metaverse criticisms."

Indeed, Stoll basically describes our current living situation with "telecommuting workers, interactive libraries and multimedia classrooms…electronic town meetings and virtual communities" and more as if it were some kind of absurdity.

And maybe it is. After all, he accurately described the other part of our current living situation, which is that "Every voice can be heard cheaply and instantly. The result? Every voice is heard. The cacophony more closely resembles citizens band radio, complete with handles, harassment, and anonymous threats. When everyone shouts, few listen."

Wowsers. Yep. Good times.

So what did we learn here?

Don't underestimate the future of technology. And always listen to David Bowie. The end.


This article originally appeared on 12.22.21

Music's biggest night did not disappoint.

The Grammy Awards returned Monday night. It was an evening of catchy pop music, a few acoustic surprises, and a handful of moments that left me simultaneously applauding and crying from my couch like a woman with nothing to lose.


Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for NARAS.

Here's what everyone will be talking about around the watercooler — oh, who am I kidding? on Twitter — this morning.

1. Kendrick Lamar had a night to remember, with a performance I'll never forget.

Kendrick Lamar, who went 0-7 in the 2014 Grammys, returned victorious this year, taking home five statues for songs and performances from his album "To Pimp A Butterfly."

It was also the first time since 2013 that Best Rap Album went to a person of color. Will the wonders of this Black History Month ever cease? Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images for NARAS.

Then, Lamar blew everyone's mind with a performance that was absolutely game-changing. It was beautiful, politically charged, and unabashedly black. Powerful, especially so in the wake of Beyonce's fantastic and unapologetically black performance at Super Bowl 50. In a word, it was flawless.

GIF via "The Grammys."

2. Lady Gaga performed an elaborate, moving farewell for David Bowie and reminded everyone for the second time this month that she can really, really sing.

Who better to salute a man made of stardust than Gaga? She even had his face tattooed on her side over the weekend just to prepare, which definitely beats doing the usual scales-and-tongue-twister vocal warm-ups.

Gaga (and musical director Nile Rodgers) managed to weave a near-chronological journey through Bowie's massive catalog of hits including "Space Oddity," "Changes," and "Let's Dance."

The music was paired with a multi-sensory backgrounds powered by sensors and controllers behind Rodgers' guitar and on Gaga's hands.

Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images for NARAS.

To put it plainly, it was a gender-bending, genre-smashing, mind-blowing tribute to a man known for his innovative performances.

3. Stevie Wonder made us fall in love with Stevie Wonder all over again.

He also got the entire crowd, and the audience at home, talking about braille accessibility and accessibility for "every single person with a disability."

GIF via "The Grammys."

4. Adele wasn't even nominated this year, but she showed up to remind us we're not worthy.

I am totally here for any and all Adele pop-ins. Her performance was stripped down, steeped in raw emotion, and perfectly imperfect with a few cracks and pops along the way.

But damn if it didn't sound great.

Photo by Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images.

Plus she gave a shoutout to Kendrick Lamar before she left the stage. NEVER CHANGE, ADELE.

5. The cast of Broadway smash "Hamilton" completely killed it, all the way from New York City.

Their performance was live via satellite from the Richard Rodgers Theatre in New York, but somehow, the cast managed to slay from 2,800 miles away. And in knickers and corsets no less. Work!

GIF via "The Grammys."

6. Taylor Swift remained unapologetically herself and reminded us all to be unapologetically ourselves too.

The country-turned-pop star opened the show with a performance of her single "Out of the Woods," and took home three gold gramophone statues, including Best Pop Vocal Album, Best Music Video for "Bad Blood," and Album of the Year.

She's the first woman to win Album of the Year twice, and after her big win, she gave an affirming speech all about resilience and the road to fame. It's a good listen for anyone needing a pick-me-up (unless your name rhymes with Sonyay Best).

7. The youngest Grammy nominee and performer was 12-year-old jazz pianist Joey Alexander.

He had the audience on their feet, and was probably feeling pretty nervous. Make 'em sweat, Joey.

Photo by Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images.

8. Johnny Depp performed with his band, Hollywood Vampires, so it seems middle-aged white guys weren't completely shut out from this year's festivities.

But don't worry, there's always next year.

See also: The Glenn Frey tribute with the Eagles and Jackson Brown.

9. At the end of the show, Beyoncé graced us with her presence.

She didn't sing, but all is forgiven since she's helping out the people of Flint, and because she's freakin' Beyoncé.

Photo by Robyn Beck /AFP/Getty Images.

And that was the Grammys.

Come for the music, stay for the bold political statements and innovative performances. Or Beyoncé. Always stay for Beyoncé.

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for NARAS.

Whether you missed the big headlines this week because you were busy living your own life (YOLO!) or you simply needed a break from the 24/7 news cycle (believe me, I get it), don't worry — I got you covered.

Here's this week in news, in 12 captivating photos.


1. The "British Forrest Gump," who'd had a bad case of wanderlust, completed a 10,500-mile journey on foot.

Photo by Chris Ratcliffe/Getty Images.

Jamie Ramsey finally made it home to Britain on Jan. 10 after running from Vancouver, Canada, to Buenos Aires, Argentina. It took him roughly 17 months to complete the cross-continental trek, and he raised a boatload of money for charity along the way.

2. The world said goodbye to one of music's all-time greats, Mr. David Bowie.

A fan mourns Bowie's death near a mural of him in London. Photo by Chris Ratcliffe/AFP/Getty Images.

Bowie died of cancer on Jan. 10 at the age of 69. The world took a moment to remember how he profoundly changed the music industry in more ways than one.

And, of course, Bowie wasn't the only beloved British entertainer lost to cancer this week. On Jan. 14, the world learned that Alan Rickman had died in London.

3. President Obama confessed one of his "few regrets" during his final State of the Union address.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

“It’s one of the few regrets of my presidency — that the rancor and suspicion between the parties has gotten worse instead of better,” Obama said in Washington on Jan. 12. Sure, a lot of things have improved on Obama's watch (job creation, LGBT rights, an increase in clean energy use) but bipartisanship isn't one of them.

4. This Hindu holy man had a smoke before taking a dip in honor of Makar Sankranti.

Photo by Dibyangshu Sarkar/AFP/Getty Images.

A Hindu holy man, or sadhu, smoked cannabis on Gangasagar Island (also known as Sagar Island) on Jan. 13 in India. He was one of about half-a-million Hindu pilgrims that made the voyage to take a holy dip where the Ganges River and the Bay of Bengal meet in recognition of Makar Sankranti, a holy day of the Hindu calendar, according to Getty.

5. Lawrence Erekosima made ... confetti angels? ... in celebration of his team's big win on the football field.

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images.

Roll tide! The University of Alabama's football team knocked off the Clemson Tigers, 45-40, in the College Football Playoff National Championship game on Jan. 11 in Arizona. As seen above, Alabama's #43 Lawrence Erekosima clearly enjoyed the win.

6. This woman used her animal instincts to help protect creatures in China.

Photo by ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images.

A woman dressed up like a giraffe and fed a real giraffe at Songcheng Theme Park in Sanya, China, to promote animal protection, Getty reported. She was just one of 10 others in the park that day who used body paint to send the message to onlookers.

7. Taraji P. Henson snagged a Golden Globe for her role in "Empire" ... and looked great doing it.

Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images.

Taraji P. Henson won big at the 73rd annual Golden Globes in Los Angeles on Jan. 10. Leonardo DiCaprio, Brie Larson, the creator of "Mr. Robot," and many others all had stellar nights to write home about too.

8. The ocean lost a few of its most magnificent creatures.

Photo by Remko de Waal/AFP/Getty Images.

Five sperm whales died on Jan. 13 after being beached on the Dutch island of Texel. Rescue teams were unable to save the poor things after they were spotted ashore on Tuesday.

9. China's unstable stock markets continued sparking global anxieties.

Photo by STR/AFP/Getty Images.

An investor checks out how his country's economy is fairing in Hangzhou, China, on Jan. 11. Stocks over there haven't had the best 2016 so far (to put it lightly). They plummeted after the New Year, as CNBC reported, but seem to be reaching at least a bit of stability in recent days.

10. The National Guard had to step in to help save Flint, Michigan, from poisonous public water (yes, in America).

Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images.

Two years ago, Flint, Michigan, switched up the community's water supply to save a buck. The decision — which was ultimately the state's — turned out to be a disaster, as residents began consuming poisonous levels of lead. This week — after the National Guard began delivering water to residents (seen above on Jan. 13) and news broke that the failure may be linked to a spike in cases of Legionnaires' disease — community members are (justifiably) furious with Gov. Rick Snyder.

11. A shoe-shaped church (for real) now exists in Taiwan. So, naturally, tourists are all about it.

Photo by STR/AFP/Getty Images.

If you've ever wondered if a glass slipper shaped church exists, well now you know. This one's in the Southwest Coast National Scenic Area of Taiwan — not in Eagleton, Indiana ("Parks and Recreation" reference, anyone?). It'll officially open its doors in February. But in the meantime, these tourists, spotted on Jan. 11, couldn't help but a snap a pic.

Although it may technically be a church, there won't be religious services there, as BBC News points out. It'll mostly be used as a space for weddings. And if you're wondering ... why a shoe? Well, duh — they're trying to attract brides to use the location. Because everyone knows that all women just adore shoes, right? (Smart move, guys.)

12. An artist created this masterpiece gown out of 5,940 ruffles of red paper ... and some elbow grease.

Photo by John Phillips/Getty Images for Sotheby's.

Zoe Bradle completed her ridiculously cool art piece made out of (just shy of) 6,000 ruffles at Sotheby's in London on Jan. 14. (Yes, you're looking at a red paper dress sculpture, not an actual dress.)

Heroes

Other musicians scoffed at the web. David Bowie started his own Internet service provider.

Some musicians (cough Metallica cough) saw the Internet as a Wild West threatening their ability to control fans' access to their music. David Bowie saw things differently.

In 1998, only 42% of American households had Internet access. Compared to the 74% of households with Internet access today, that's a pretty huge difference.

After releasing his 1996 song "Telling Lies" as a web-only single and selling 300,000 copies (a huge number in any era), David Bowie decided the Internet provided a unique opportunity to interact with fans in a new way.


The only issue was getting more people online. And the best way to do that if you can't wait for the rest of the world to catch up? Start your own Internet service provider.

So, that's what David Bowie did.

Image by Ralph Gatti/Getty Images.

On Sept. 1, 1998, David Bowie launched BowieNet, "the world's first artist-created Internet service provider."

For $19.95 a month, users could access the Internet and many fancy Bowie-themed perks, including an @davidbowie.com email address, 5 MB of personal webspace, unreleased audio and video tracks, and "exclusive music content provided by the Rolling Stone Network."

In short, BowieNet was creative and ground-breaking, and I wish I'd known about it at the time so I could have been jeangenie@davidbowie.com instead of hlibby@not-my-real-email.ca.

The BowieNet landing page in 2000. Image via DavidBowie.com.

As the Internet grew and evolved, some artists (like Prince) changed their minds about it. David Bowie never did.

He held online art exhibitions, offered his voice and his image to video games, and encouraged fans to remix his music on the new site BowieArt. Bowie did all of this because he believed in the power of the Internet, calling it "subversive and possibly rebellious and chaotic and nihilistic."

That statement is from a 1999 interview with U.K. Journalist Jeremy Paxman. Watch Paxman's face as Bowie talks about the internet:

Sorry, J-Pax. This is the face of a man who just doesn't get it. GIF via Clorpse/YouTube.

For a good third of this 16-minute interview, Bowie tries to explain the power of the Internet for artists and creators.

"I appreciate that there's a new demystification process going on between the artist and the audience," Bowie says. "I think we're on the cusp of something exhilarating and terrifying. [The Internet's] an alien life form."

It's hard to state in a few sentences how special Bowie's attitudes were and still are.

Giving fans increased power to access and interact with artists was a scary concept in 1998. By 2000, musicians like Metallica and Dr. Dre were suing Napster (and the university students using it) for sharing MP3s of their music. In 2014, Taylor Swift famously announced she'd be removing her music from Spotify — one of the world's most popular streaming music services.

Image by Jo Hale/Getty Images.

Yet, Bowie's approach to the Internet remained the same: Let the fans in, let them connect with each other and with you, and allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by what happens.

BowieNet operated as an ISP until 2006 and as a fan community until 2012. By the time it closed its doors, its creator was rewarded with a Guinness world record for "first celebrity ISP" and a Webby Lifetime Achievement Award.

Bowie's management announced his passing yesterday with posts on Facebook and Twitter — cutting out the PR middlemen and going straight to the fans with the most important news.


Just as Bowie would have wanted, and the Internet enabled him to do.

Image by Justin Tallis/Getty Images.