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Dad can't understand why he has 60 toddler socks without matches after doing laundry

Here's why socks seem to disappear.

via Canva/Photos

A dad getting laundry out of the dryer.

One of the most frustrating things is getting ready to leave the house in the morning for work or school and realizing that all your clean socks are in the dryer. So, you plow through all your clothes to find matching socks but can’t find a suitable pair. You find one sock, but the one that matches has vanished into thin air.

This can be even more frustrating if you have small children and you can’t find a match for a teeny, tiny sock in the dryer. The crazy thing is that the pair's second half sometimes never reappears. What happened to the sock? Was it eaten by the proverbial sock monster that terrorizes the homes of young children, or was it washed out to sea after finding an escape pipe in the washer?

A poster on Reddit recently showed just how diabolical this problem can be. He posted a photo that would shock most people unless they have kids. After a round of laundry, he had sixty toddler socks without a pair. The poster has 2 kids, one 2 and the other 3 years old, and an army of lonely socks. What in the world could have happened in this person’s home for so many socks to go missing?


Over 60 toddler socks with no matches after doing all the laundry.
byu/epilepsyisdumb inmildlyinfuriating


One commenter on the post had a perfect solution to the missing sock problem. “Once every other year or so, I throw away all my socks and buy 20 pairs of exactly the same brand new socks. Then I wear them all the same amount and rotate them evenly so they always match. It’s glorious,” they wrote.

"What if those are all left socks, and some ghost is stealing all the rights?" another commenter joked. Many people guessed that they were probably stuck in her washer and dryer. "The washer also eats them. Pull the panels off, and you will find socks and possibly some cash, lol," another added.



Why do all of my socks keep disappearing?

So, where do all the missing socks go? Cindy Bailen, a veteran writer on major appliance and home design for 15-plus years, agrees your washer and dryer have probably eaten them. “In top-loading machines, socks can get lodged under the agitator (the pole in the middle of the washer), or get trapped under the wash plate (the central piece in the bottom of the tub),” she writes at Reviewed. She adds that socks may be pushed into the inner and outer tub area.

If you have a front-loader washing machine, socks are often caught in the washer’s filter. “If your washing machine has a clean-out area, open it and look for socks. You definitely don't want socks to get caught in the drain pump,” she continues. Bailen says that your socks may also be stuck in your dryer. “If the lint trap is located in the front of your dryer, pull it out, and look for socks in the space underneath,” she writes.

The problem is that kids are constantly growing, and if you’re just learning the washer-and-dryer sock-retrieval techniques now, you may find some socks from when they were much younger and no longer fit. Inspecting your laundry machines could be a time capsule of your child’s entire sock history. “I remember those Christmas socks from when she was three!” “Oh, that’s where his baseball socks went in 2019.” Happy sock hunting.

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Community

Brooklyn dad hosts meet-ups for other dads who 'feel alone in fatherhood'

So awesome. And so necessary.

@joegonzles.co/TikTok

Every parent needs support.

Imagine: dads coming together to hang out with other dads and their kids. Building community, sharing struggles and advice, creating memories, and getting much needed support. Sounds like a beautiful utopian pipe dream, right?

For Brooklyn-based dad and content creator Joe Gonzales (@joegonzales.co ), the dream became a reality. And he hopes that it will become a reality for others. He tells Upworthy that as a first-time dad, he quickly realized “fathers, like mothers, need a space to connect, share experiences, and support one another.”

Only thing is, there aren’t really many spaces like that. Sure, motherhood has its share of society-induced loneliness, but comparatively speaking, moms do have far more outlets to connect with one another. Text threads, mommy groups, etc. Dads…not so much. We’ve only entertained the thought of dads being more than breadwinners for a tiny blip of time, for crying out loud.

Photo courtesy of Joe Gonzales

So, lieu of finding a space where he could connect with other dads, Gonzales created one. He let other dads in New York that he’d be hosting a meet-up over one weekend, and not only did a ton show up, but several brands reached out to “give some amazing products" to give out.

In a video shared to Gonzales’s TikTok, we see a bunch of happy dads with their kids enjoying colorful play areas and just delightfully coexisting among one another.

@joegonzales.co Love the community that we are building here at The Brooklyn Stroll Club! If you are a dad or you know a dad in brooklyn then lets connect 🙏🏽👨🏽🍼
♬ Like This (Lofi) - ProdByDave


Through the success of this event, Gonzalez realized that fatherhood didn’t have to be navigated alone. “Dads wanna get better. They wanna grow. And they don’t wanna do it alone either.”

Down in the comments, people were so, so onboard with this idea.

“Love this! Dad need more events and communities like this.”

“Yes, dad events are necessary so moms can have a mom day.”

“I love this, Dads need support just like moms. They need resources and people so they don’t give up.”

“Praying this becomes normalized in our communities.”

Looks like this prayer for normalization is getting answered, because Gonzales officially dubbed his now ongoing dad meetups the Brooklyn Stroll Club. Plans are already being made for the next meetup for late January. They’ve also launched a Discord server for NYC dads to discuss all things fatherhood and continue building the community between meetups. If any dads in the area are interested in joining, click here.

Photo courtesy of Joe Gonzales

If you are a dad searching for community, but don’t live in the area, maybe take a page from Gonzales’ book and start your own group. The National At-Home Dad Network suggests first starting a Facebook page or group, then establishing a consistent meeting day, time and place (if possible) for playgroups. They also have some additional resources for spreading the word and letting more people know about your group, as well as a handy list of already established dad-groups to possibly join.

Point being: it’s so, so important for dads to have opportunities for commiseration, connection, and support. And maybe all it takes to start building these types of relationships is actually seeking them out. It certainly worked for Gonzales.

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Modern Families

Dad uses slick video editing to create indisputable Santa proof for his 8-year-old

"He insisted on setting up a camera... BUT HE DIDN’T COUNT ON DADDY’S FILM DEGREE."

Kris Tapley/X & Tim Mossholder/Unsplash

There is no exact age where kids stop believing in Santa Claus. But some research suggests that it's most common for skepticism to creep in somewhere around age 8. That's just 8 very short years of putting out milk and cookies, leaving carrots for the reindeer, and writing letters to the Big Man. Santa is such a big part of what makes Christmas magical for kids.

Once that illusion is gone, you're only a stone's throw away from everyone just giving each other sweaters and gift cards. So all the parents I know are fighting tooth and nail to keep that magic alive as their children grow older, even if it's just for one more year.

Dad Kris Tapley found he had a skeptic on his hands: His 8-year-old son. This year, he went to extraordinary lengths to keep Christmas alive.

Tapley's son is 8, but has been a Santa skeptic for at least a few years. Though he hasn't quite put all the pieces together yet, he's been spotting inconsistencies and plot holes for a while now. “Reindeer can’t fly! Someone can’t go all over the world in one night! Stop lying, Daddy," Tapley says, quoting his son.

Tapley posted on X and said this about the challenge facing him this year: "My kid has been denying Santa Claus for a few years now but I just haven’t had the heart to give in. He probably thinks I’m insane by this point. Anyway, to shut me up, he insisted on setting up a camera last night."

In the embedded video, we see a crystal clear feed of the Tapleys' Christmas Eve milk and cookies set up. You can even see the Christmas tree, some stockings, and a door into the room. They've got the whole area covered. Nowhere for Santa to hide. If he exists, they're guaranteed to bust him! And if he doesn't show, Tapley's son will have his answer.

But, Tapley added, "HE DIDN'T COUNT ON DADDY'S FILM DEGREE."

As the footage rolls, the door to the room cracks open slowly. A figure begins walking through. But then, the screen goes haywire — static! When the video feed returns, the door to the room is closing, a hand pulling it shut just visible. And now the room is filled with presents. The milk is gone. The cookies have been snacked on.

There was proof alright. Proof that Santa was real, and that his magic would prevent him from ever truly being caught.

"I think he bought it," Tapley says.

He showed his son the footage on Christmas morning and it seemed to have the intended effect. But for how long is another question.

"He’s already poking some holes in my story. 'Why doesn’t it cause a glitch when he’s on camera in other things?' That kind of thing."

Tapley's video went viral on X, racking up over a million views. Commenters loved the commitment to the bit, and the excellent display of dadding.

"As a kid, this would have me convinced until I'm 36," wrote one user.

"Well done! Keep the magic going," said another.

"He'll love you for doing [this] when he gets older," said another.

"A+ parenting!" said another, sharing their own story: "When I started having doubts about Santa, my mom typed a letter from Santa to me, printed it on fancy paper, stamped a signature and some decorations on it and left it in my stocking. I believed in Santa for a few more years, and still have the letter somewhere."

Of course, as the video spread even farther and wider than before, some Grinchy people chimed in with critiques: Of the deception and, weirdly enough, of the quality of the video edit. See what happens to people who lose sight of the fun and magic of make-believe at Christmas?

santa claus sitting with white lights Photo by Srikanta H. U on Unsplash

It's really a tremendously sad day for parents when their kids no longer believe. Playing Santa and keeping the illusion going is fun for us and helps keep us young. Christmas will always be about spending time with the people you love, but let's face it, it loses a little something when the element of magical make-believe goes away.

Tapley knows he doesn't have much time left with his son, when it comes to Elves and the North Pole and Naughty or Nice lists. The trick video might have worked, or his son might just be playing along, but either way, he'll take it.

"I figure I bought myself another year of maintaining some of the magic."

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Family

A new dad felt guilty for screaming at his son. An expert offers two ways to make amends.

"Show me a parent who has never done this... and I'll show you a liar."

Unsplash

Parenting is tough.

Every parent has been there. We've all lost our temper before — yelled, screamed, stomped out of a room. We're low on sleep, low on self-care and quiet time, and highly stressed out. Remember when the Surgeon General declared an official advisory over the deteriorating mental health of America's parents? Yeah, it's safe to say a lot of us are just barely keeping it together most of the time.

So yes, while yelling and screaming at your kids is almost never a productive thing to do, all that frustration and stress is bound to come out eventually when they start pushing our buttons.

One new dad recently shared a relevant confession on Reddit: He had screamed at his toddler and was feeling horrible guilt. The post read:

"2.5 YO son has been sleeping terribly for weeks after FINALLY starting to sleep through the night...and after being awake for an hour and a half for no reason tonight, he wanted to turn on his big lamp. I said no and he lost it, so I ripped the cord out of the wall, yanked it out of his hand and threw it in his closet. I screamed at him 'you don't need your light, it's night night time' while he cried hysterically.

"The way my wife looked at me and then my kid running to his playroom because I scared him...I feel like shit. I even tried to calm down and read a book with him and he pulled the blanket off of me and said 'daddy go away,'" he wrote.The gut-wrenching guilt in the OP's story struck a serious chord with the members of the subreddit r/Daddit.

Other parents in the thread were quick to pick this dad up.

man in white and blue crew neck t-shirt Photo by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

Seriously, what parent can't relate to this story?

If I stop to think about the times when I've been the most upset and disappointed in myself, it's been when I haven't handled stress and frustration well in front of my kids. It's a horrible feeling. I've felt embarrassed, and even stupid, for losing my temper. I'm supposed to be the adult, and here I am yelling at a two-year-old? You just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and stew in the shame and disgust.

Luckily, many of the commenters had felt the same thing, and hundreds of people chimed in with words of encouragement:

"It happens. Apologize to him. He learns that adults make mistakes too and that they apologize for them. Especially important (in my opinion) for a son to see his dad apologize and own his emotions/behaviors. We all make mistakes. And honestly, it will probably happen again. Just keep working to be the best you can be. It's tough. And he still loves you. Trust me."

"I've been a dad for a little over 21 years. I'm a much better dad now than I was in 2003 because of small, incremental, and daily lessons. A willingness to be wrong and being open to change are extremely important. It's okay to mess up and okay to apologize to our kids. The mistake isn't important, what we do next is."

"Been there many times. It's tough. I know I'm still a great dad and so are you."

"Oh man, been there. Believe it or not, it's s good thing that you feel bad, it shows that you know better and that you're a good dad. Guess what? Tomorrow you get a chance to do better. We all get it wildly wrong at times, this won't be your last one either. Apologise now, look forward to doing better later."

"Show me a parent who has never done this to some extent, and I'll show you a liar."

Experts agree that when we makes mistakes and lose control of our emotions, these can be great teachable moments for everyone in the family. But only if you handle it right.

man and girl sitting on brown dock near boat and two white ducks during daytime Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash

I reached out to Dr. Caroline Fenkel, Chief Clinical Officer and Co-Founder at Charlie Health, for advice on how parents can handle it when they don't do a good job wrangling their anger in front of the kids:

She says that step one is to own your behavior and apologize like a grown-up.

"First, own your behavior. Acknowledge to your child that you lost your cool and explain why, in simple and age-appropriate terms: 'I got frustrated because I was running late, but yelling wasn’t the right way to handle it.' This helps children understand that strong emotions are normal but must be managed."

How you apologize and smooth things over with your kiddo is so critically important because you're modeling so many great lessons for him.

"Second, model how to make amends," Fenkel says. "Saying, 'I’m sorry for yelling. I didn’t mean to scare you,' shows children how to take accountability for mistakes and repair relationships. It’s also helpful to outline what you’ll do differently next time: 'Next time, I’ll take a deep breath and use my calm voice."

"Moments like these are opportunities to teach emotional regulation. You’re showing your child that it’s okay to have emotions and make mistakes, but taking responsibility and working to improve is also essential. This can help them feel less ashamed of their mistakes and more confident about repairing missteps in their relationships."

Yelling and screaming don't help tough situations, but slipping up occasionally does have the silver lining of helping your kid learn how to better regulate their own emotions.

The dads of Reddit also shared a few of their own tips for avoiding boiling over.

One dad recommended "tagging out" with your spouse when you feel frustration building:

"The strategy I’ve learned is to simply tell my wife I’m going to lose my shit. That way I’m voicing my anger in a calm way that doesn’t affect the kid, and she knows to take over and be a calming influence. She appreciates this strategy, it’s much better than me actually losing it."

And if you're having trouble keeping your cool during tantrums:

"Something that helped me, was advice/re-framing from my therapist (who also works with kids): they need to have tantrums. They need to let it burn out of them. Accepting that is the case, and it will not last forever, makes it easier to tolerate (for me). Our jobs as parents is to keep them safe, not necessarily stop the tantrum/emotion/breakdown. Just keep them safe and be there for them. They will work through a lot of it themselves."

An expert I've worked with had a similar strategy that's really helped me keep from losing my temper: Just ignore the tantrums! Keep your kids safe, keep them from hurting themselves or others, but otherwise, don't give attention-seeking behavior any oxygen and let it burn out on its own. Intervening and trying to stop it just makes it worse and makes your frustration levels skyrocket.

At the end of the day, kids are extremely forgiving and sweet when you own up to your mistakes. They still love you, I promise — even if you yelled.

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