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Dad's response to daughter's crash on a skate ramp is a masterclass in awesome parenting

A beautiful blend of empathy, encouragement, and empowerment.

@chasing.sage/Instagram

This dad exemplifies stellar parenting.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. In 2022, he was teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared an exchange he had with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.

It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement, and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuck-asaurus" video in which she offered delightfully colorful commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Watch:

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Family

10 things most kids don't know about their mothers

1. You made her cry ... a lot.



Pregnant.

There it was, clear as day, two blue lines staring back at me from the small pregnancy test I had just purchased.

I double-checked...

One line = not pregnant.

Two lines = pregnant.

Photo via iStock.


Yup, I was definitely pregnant.

My heart was pounding.

My head was spinning.

My stomach was churning.

I was nervous, excited, scared, and ecstatic all at the same time.

Photo via iStock.

This was actually happening! After years of dreaming, preparing for, and anticipating this day, it was finally here. I was going to be a mother.

Little did I know that in nine short months, I would begin the most exhausting, life-changing, heart-wrenching, but indescribably rewarding journey of my life.

In nine months, I would learn the price of motherhood firsthand. I would know exactly what it takes to be a mother. I would gain a whole new understanding of and gratitude for the beautiful woman I call Mom.

I would learn about things mothers experience that their children often know very little about.

Here are 10 things your mom never told you.

1. You made her cry ... a lot.

She cried when she found out she was pregnant. She cried as she gave birth to you. She cried when she first held you. She cried with happiness. She cried with fear. She cried with worry. She cried because she feels so deeply for you. She felt your pain and your happiness and she shared it with you, whether you realized it or not.

2. She wanted that last piece of pie.

But when she saw you look at it with those big eyes and lick your mouth with that tiny tongue, she couldn't eat it. She knew it would make her much happier to see your little tummy be filled than hers.

3. It hurt.

When you pulled her hair, it hurt; when you grabbed her with those sharp fingernails that were impossible to cut, it hurt; when you bit her while drinking milk, that hurt, too. You bruised her ribs when you kicked her from her belly; you stretched her stomach out for nine months; you made her body contract in agonizing pain as you entered this world.

4. She was always afraid.

From the moment you were conceived, she did all in her power to protect you. She became your mama bear. She was that lady who wanted to say no when the little girl next door asked to hold you and who cringed when she did because in her mind no one could keep you as safe as she herself could. Her heart skipped two beats with your first steps. She stayed up late to make sure you got home safe and woke up early to see you off to school. With every stubbed toe and little stumble, she was close by; she was ready to snatch you up with every bad dream or late-night fever. She was there to make sure you were OK.

She stayed up late to make sure you got home safe and woke up early to see you off to school.

5. She knows she's not perfect.

She is her own worst critic. She knows all her flaws and sometimes hates herself for them. She is hardest on herself when it comes to you, though. She wanted to be the perfect mom, to do nothing wrong — but because she is human, she made mistakes. She is probably still trying to forgive herself for them. She wishes with her whole heart that she could go back in time and do things differently, but she can't, so be kind to her and know she did the best she knew how to do.


6. She watched you as you slept.

There were nights when she was up 'til 3 a.m. praying that you would finally fall asleep. She could hardly keep her eyes open as she sang to you, and she would beg you to "please, please fall asleep." Then, when you finally fell asleep, she would lay you down, and all her tiredness would disappear for a short second as she sat by your bedside looking down at your perfect cherub face, experiencing more love than she knew was possible, despite her worn-out arms and aching eyes.

7. She carried you a lot longer than nine months.

You needed her to. So she did. She would learn to hold you while she cleaned; she would learn to hold you while she ate; she would even hold you while she slept because it was the only way she could sometimes. Her arms would get tired, her back would hurt, but she held you still because you wanted to be close to her. She snuggled you, loved you, kissed you, and played with you. You felt safe in her arms; you were happy in her arms; you knew you were loved in her arms, so she held you, as often and as long as you needed.

Her arms would get tired, her back would hurt, but she held you still because you wanted to be close to her.

8. It broke her heart every time you cried.

There was no sound as sad as your cries or sight as horrible as the tears streaming down your perfect face. She did all in her power to stop you from crying, and when she couldn't stop your tears, her heart would shatter into a million little pieces.

9. She put you first.

She went without food, without showers, and without sleep. She always put your needs before her own. She would spend all day meeting your needs, and by the end of the day, she would have no energy left for herself. But the next day, she would wake up and do it all over again because you meant that much to her.

10. She would do it all again.

Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do, and it will take you to your very limits sometimes. You cry, you hurt, you try, you fail, you work, and you learn. But, you also experience more joy than you thought was possible and feel more love than your heart can contain. Despite all the pain, grief, late nights, and early mornings you put your mom through, she would do it all again for you because you are worth it to her.

So, next time you see her, tell your mom thank you; let her know that you love her. She can never hear it too many times.


This article originally appeared on 05.27.16










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Woman says she'd only have kids as the 'dad' because they don't have real 'responsibility'

"After seeing all the unappreciated invisible effort my mother puts in for us, I could not imagine that being my life."

via BippityBoppityBree/TikTok and Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels

TikTok user BippityBoppityBree on why she doesn't want kids.

Bree, a 25-year-old woman in Canada, has gone viral on TikTok for a video explaining the unique reason why she will never have children. She doesn’t want to be a mother and would only have children if she could be the father because they get to be the “cool parent.”

Her ideas about family resonated with many women who believe there are a lot of fathers who don’t carry their own weight. Even though families are becoming more egalitarian, women are still regarded as the default parent in most relationships.

“I would love to be a parent. I would love to be a dad. I don't get that choice—I would have to be a mother—and there is no way in hell I would ever wanna be a mother,” Bree said in a TikTok video.

@bippityboppitybree

Cool aunt and stepmom vibes only #motherhood #feminism #barbiegirl

“I don't want the responsibility of being a mother. I want to be the cool parent, I want to have as little responsibility as possible, and mothers don't get that,” she continued. Bree’s ideas about family stem from her upbringing. “After seeing all the unappreciated invisible effort my mother puts in for us, I could not imagine that being my life!” she wrote in the comments.

“Saving this answer for the next time I am asked that. Thanks,” Bianca P wrote in the comments.

A recent Pew Research study found that in 2022, 29% of marriages were "egalitarian," with husbands and wives each contributing roughly half of the couple's combined earnings. However, women still bore the brunt of the domestic workload, spending more than double the amount of time on housework than their husbands and two hours more per week on caregiving.

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A dad's heartbreaking list of things he learned after his son passed is a must-read.

Richard Pringle, a dad from England, thought he'd have more time with his son, Hughie.

Hughie had a serious brain condition his doctors considered manageable. He was supposed to be fine.

Tragically, the odds struck for the worst and Hughie, 3 years old at the time, suffered a brain hemorrhage last year that he did not survive.

It's a heartbreaking story, but Hughie's memory lives on. Pringle says he's "realised more than ever how precious life is."

He wanted to help other parents appreciate the fleeting and fragile nature of life. So Pringle came up with 10 things he's learned since his son passed.

"I was actually putting my little girl to bed one night and lying with her. It was then I wrote it," he says. "All things I've been thinking about and it just flowed."

The list reads as fond memories of a short life lived to the fullest. Yet it also serves as a powerful wake up call for any of us who might be missing out on the little moments that matter most.

"You can never ever kiss and love too much," Pringle writes. "You always have time. Stop what you're doing and play, even if it's just for a minute. Nothing's that important that it can't wait."

"Make boring things fun," he adds. "Be silly, tell jokes, laugh, smile, and enjoy yourselves. They're only chores if you treat them like that. Life is too short not to have fun."

You can read the full list in his original post:

❤️❤️The 10 Most Important Things I've Learnt Since Losing My Son 🙏1. You can never ever kiss and love too much. 2....

Posted by Richard Pringle on Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The post went viral and struck a nerve with parents everywhere who saw themselves in Pringle's words.

We're all tired from work, stressed from thinking about bills, and constantly scanning the house for what needs to be cleaned or fixed up. It becomes so easy to miss what's right in front of us — moments with our kids that can never be recreated. All the other stuff? It can wait.

It's not just for parents. Everyone could stand to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, a little more often.

"There's beauty in the simple things," Pringle says. "Things that often within our busy destructed lives go unnoticed. There's real beauty in simplicity and I feel we all need to realize this."

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