Innocent cultural question creates educational exchange
There are things about other cultures that we simply won't know unless we ask. The problem is, sometimes asking can feel embarrassing or even be tricky due to worries about offending someone. Something about the feeling of anonymity on the internet makes people feel a little more comfortable asking these questions to what feels like the void in hopes that someone sees your genuine curiosity and responds with kindness.
For an example of how these interactions can go, look no further than a Black woman named Olivia. She explains in a video posted to social media that she doesn't understand what people mean when they say their hair is oily.
"As a Black girl, when people ask me 'is my hair oily,' what does that mean?"
"My friends will ask me and they're not Black and then they ask, 'oh does my hair look oily,' I don't know what that MEAAAAAANNNNS," Olivia says.
Her cries were heard and Annie, a white woman, responds to Olivia's video with explanations and examples. A lot of thought went into her video, answering Olivia in a respectful and compassionate way that highlights the different beauty standards between the two races.
"Hear me out, I think this stems from the same misunderstanding that happens when white girls are always complimenting Black girls box braids when they're really grown out and needing to be redone," Annie surmises before pulling up photos of what oily hair looks like on white women.
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She also explains using her own hair as an example, sharing that her hair is fine and she likes to have a level of volume to her hair, "and when it's oily it is like slicked down to my head and you can typically see really sharp part lines. It almost looks kinda wet."
Annie's explanation included the difference between how Black women may see hair flat ironed with oil in it and think it looks like the "sleekest silk press ever."
a woman with an afro is looking at the camera
Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash
The comments section was full of women all races showing appreciation for the wholesome and respectful discourse on this topic. It also made people feel like the comment section was a safe space to ask more questions, which were answered in the same respectful, kind manner.
"So basically, you see the beauty in us that we don't see in ourselves and we see the beauty in you that you don't see in yourselves. This was so wholesome to watch," one person shares.
"I love this phenomenon of us complimenting each other's raggedy hair. I like to think we just see the beauty in each other that we don't see in ourselves."
woman wearing blue and white floral spaghetti-strap dress
Photo by Leyli Nova on Unsplash
"So all the white women who told me my hair my hair was cute when it wasn't weren't trying to play me," one woman asks.
"I love this phenomenon of us complimenting each other's raggedy hair. I like to think we just see the beauty in each other that we don't see in ourselves," another viewer added.
"Here I was walking around thinking people were being sarcastic complimenting my dirty flat hair. We are all so different," another commenter writes.
Others were simply impressed by the positive discourse happening in the comment section and realizing that compliments they received previously were likely genuine.
"See. This is how we need to be discussing these things! We're all tuned in and enjoying the conversation," a woman gushes over the camaraderie.
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Sometimes all we need is a little insider clarification to understand that we're all on the same team, genuinely trying to be kind and complimentary to other people. The comment section is good vibes for anyone who reads it.