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Man's over-the-top Crumbl Cookies review is one for the ages

"This mug tastes like a Girl Scout cookie on steroids that went to Planet Fitness with its gallon of water jug and set off the lunk alarm…"

Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash

Most people like cookies, but not on this level.

Have you ever eaten something that was so delectably delicious it gave you an out-of-body experience and changed your whole outlook on life?

Apparently, P.E. teacher and digital creator Travis Reed has, in the form of a Crumbl Cookie.

(If you’re not familiar, Crumbl Cookies is a dessert company that specializes in thick, rich cookies. They rotate their dozens of cookie recipes to offer six flavors each week, so the menu is constantly changing. They have flavors ranging from classic Semi-sweet Chocolate Chip to Toffee Cake, Chocolate Covered Strawberry, "Kitchen Sink" and more.)

Reed shared a detailed review of Crumbl Cookies in 2022, and it's gone viral multiple times since.

In a post to his Facebook page, Reed explained that he got talked into taking a trip to Crumble Cookies, and at first he thought he was in "the triple stacked line at Chick Fil A" because it was so busy.

"I got out the car and this darn line was longer than a Monday," he wrote. Then he began to describe the effect his first Crumbl experience had on him.

"Cookie crumbl done messed around and changed my life for the better…I’m waving at neighbors in the neighborhood for no reason, I used a bath bomb….I was washing my car and a neighbor asked that lame line 'are going to do mine next' I said yessireeee bring it on over pal, I watched a Disney movie talmbout 'We don’t talk about Bruuuno no no no!' …I hugged a enemy, and I had 'supper'….them cookies tasted like the Summer of 69, Love and Happiness, Dancin in the Moonlight, Cinderellas Castle, and any Bruno Mars song oh and a Pixie Stick….I took one bite and that mug had my stomach melting like the Wicked Witch of the West I sweatergawd and ion een like sweets and cookies like that This mug tastes like a Girl Scout cookie on steroids that went to planet fitness with its gallon of water jug and set off the lunk alarm….I’m talking testosteroned UPJuicaaaayI peeped the calorie count of these cookies and ima be at a million before this week over but this sugar drive got me on 12 so ima go on and somersault this 6 mile trail right quick talmbout type 12 diabetes…just take the whole foot …aaaand they just be dropping new flavors every week like mixtapes …helmelawd I ain’t gon make itI’m sweating dough and sprinkles jus thinking bout it ,leeeeet’s get readyyy to CRUMBLLLL!! 40/10"

The whole post could be used as a creative writing lesson with Reed’s liberal use of simile, metaphor and exaggeration for comedic effect. People loved his enthusiasm, though many lamented how he made them crave cookies.

"Honey, let me tell you!!! My husband is such a tightwad about money. I went and bought these cookies, and Lord knows they're not cheap. Even he said they were worth every penny!!! They're so damn addicting, too. Feel like I need a cookies anonymous therapy session."

"They’re opening one beside my work. I’m scared. Imma have type 23 diabeetus soon and I don’t even like sweets that much."

"Omg!! They just opened one across the street from me and I been hearing folks talk about they used to drive 50 minutes for these cookies…now more than ever I need them. I may just go there right now."

Crumble Cookies' CEO even sent Reed's review to the company's employees, writing, "Thank you for all your hard work in making Crumbl the happiest part of everyone's week!"

You can follow Travis Reed on Facebook.

From Your Site Articles

humor

Science

When you twist an Oreo, why does the ‘cream’ always stick to one side? MIT has the answer.

One of the world's greatest mysteries has finally been solved.

via Mike Mozart/Flickr

Delicious Oreo cookies.

There are a lot of snack foods people eat ritualistically. When I get a Twix bar I like to eat the caramel or peanut butter topping first and then the cookie wafer second. The cookie part is so delicious that I have to savor it by itself.

Some folks have a ritual with Reese's peanut butter cups where they eat the top layer of chocolate and then swipe out the peanut butter center with their tongue.

When it comes to Oreo cookies, few people eat the cookie all at once. Many prefer to deconstruct the cookie by twisting the black wafer sides and then licking out the creme off of each side. Part of the fun is attempting to twist the cookie and have an even amount of creme on each side of the wafer—a feat that is nearly impossible.

(Note: The white center of an Oreo cookie is made with what Nabisco refers to as “creme,” not cream because it isn’t made with any dairy.)

People have been perplexed for decades over why almost all of the creme always ends up sticking to one side of the separated cookie. The phenomenon is so mysterious that the brilliant minds at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) took up the monumental task of pursuing the answer.

“When I was little, I tried twisting wafers to split the cream evenly between the wafers so there’s some on both halves — which in my opinion tastes much better than having one wafer with a lot of creme and one with almost none. This was hard to do when I was trying it by hand,” Crystal Owens, lead author of a study published Tuesday in the journal American Institute of Physics and a researcher in mechanical engineering at MIT, said according to CBS Boston.

“There’s the fascinating problem of trying to get the creme to distribute evenly between the two wafers, which turns out to be really hard,” says Max Fan, an undergraduate in MIT’s Department of Mechanical Engineering.

To figure out why the creme always sticks to one side, researchers developed the Oreometer, a device that rotates and splits the cookie with an identical amount of torque on each wafer. Researchers found that the amount of torque needed to split a cookie was equivalent to the pressure needed to twist a doorknob.

via Physics of Fluids

The team subjected the cookies to standard rheology tests and found that the creme center almost always stuck to just one side of the cookie. The only time they could get the creme to be distributed evenly is when the box of cookies was older.

The researchers realized that the dominant wafer is determined when the cookie is manufactured.

“Videos of the manufacturing process show that they put the first wafer down, then dispense a ball of cream onto that wafer before putting the second wafer on top,” Owens said. “Apparently that little time delay may make the cream stick better to the first wafer.”

Mystery solved.

The good news is that if you‘ve been trying for years to master the perfect twist that results in evenly distributed creme and failed, you’re not the problem, it’s the cookie. The odds were stacked against you and you didn’t know it.

From Your Site Articles

These homeless Girl Scouts wanted to sell 6,000 cookie boxes. They sold more than 32,000.

The girls in Troop 6000 look like any other Girl Scouts, sporting patch-covered vests and asking people to buy cookies. The difference? The girls are homeless.

Troop 6000 was created in 2016 to serve girls living in New York City's homeless shelter system. It’s a unique but wonderful idea — a Girl Scout troop with leaders trained from inside the shelter system itself, to empower both women and girls and give them the opportunity to benefit from everything the Girl Scouts program has to offer.

Troop 6000 members met with New York legislator and community leaders to celebrate their unique status as the first Girl Scout troop for homeless girls. Photo by Don Emmert/Getty Images.

According to the Girl Scouts website, “Research has shown that Girl Scout alumnae have a stronger sense of self, achieve higher levels of education, and are more likely to reach a higher socio-economic status.”

No doubt the community, consistency, and confidence-building that Girl Scouts offer would be especially beneficial for girls facing the challenge of homelessness. But as it turns out, these girls are also good for Girl Scouts.

They not only surpassed their first cookie sales goal — they totally obliterated it.

According to NBC News, this was the first year the troop participated in the traditional cookie fundraiser. They arranged to set up shop and sell their cookies at Kellogg's NYC Café in Union Square.

— (@)

The girls set a goal to sell 6,000 boxes of cookies in six days. They ended up selling more than 32,500.

Customers stood in hour-long lines to buy cookies from the girls, in addition to donating at total of $15,000 additional funds to the troop. Meridith Maskara, CEO of Girl Scouts Greater New York, called the sale a "resounding success." Um, yeah. I'd say so.

Cookie proceeds and donations go toward funding the troop’s various learning and service projects. I see awesome things coming for these girls.

When a community comes together to serve those who are struggling, amazing things can happen.

Troop 6000 was launched by Giselle Burgess, a mother of five who became homeless while working for the Girl Scouts of Greater New York in 2016. Her rental home was put up for sale, and she found herself at a Sleep Inn along with other families facing homelessness.

Members of Troop 6000 with Giselle Burgess, who spurred the troop's founding. Photo by Don Emmert/Getty Images.

"When I first became homeless myself, I'd always thought homelessness was the man outside with the cardboard sign asking for money," Burgess told BuzzFeed News. "But it’s working women, it’s working families."

With the help of Girl Scouts of Greater New York, Mayor de Blasio, and the city’s Department of Homeless Services, Burgess’ idea for Troop 6000 came to fruition. At a little more than a year old, it’s thriving. Thousands of children live in the New York City homeless shelter system, and the troop now has nearly 300 members.

Troop 6000 sold more than five times as many cookies as they had planned. Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.

Girls in the troop say their Girl Scout experiences have changed their lives.

"The difference between me and before Troop 6000 is that I can speak up more,” Troop 6000 member Sanaa told Spectrum News NY1, “and I don't have to feel like I'm different at all."

"All of us envision we're so powerful, and we have a voice," said another scout, Karina. "Even if our voice is small, we have a voice and we can impact this world."

Can’t wait to see what impact these girls make next.

From Your Site Articles

cookies

Man's over-the-top Crumbl Cookies review is one for the ages

"This mug tastes like a Girl Scout cookie on steroids that went to Planet Fitness with its gallon of water jug and set off the lunk alarm…"

These homeless Girl Scouts wanted to sell 6,000 cookie boxes. They sold more than 32,000.

The girls in Troop 6000 look like any other Girl Scouts, sporting patch-covered vests and asking people to buy cookies. The difference? The girls are homeless.

They not only surpassed their first cookie sales goal — they totally obliterated it.

When a community comes together to serve those who are struggling, amazing things can happen.

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