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Gen Z guy hilariously tries schooling his mom on using the exclamation point emoji 'correctly'

It turns out most people are with the mom.

Photo credit: Canva

No, this is not a case of old folks not being "with it."

Different generations rarely see eye to eye on many things, but no topic seems to be so heavily debated as how to properly communicate via texting.

In the one camp, you’ve got the youngins who grew up with texting specifically—Gen Alphas, Gen Zers, and even millennials to a certain extent. In the other camp, you’ve got boomers, Gen Xers, and again, millennials who might not have texted all their lives, but certainly have more working knowledge of basic grammar and written communication.

So who’s the real authority? Ask a million different people, and you’ll get a million different answers. This is certainly the situation we find ourselves in with this story.

Recently, Jason Saperstone, a 22-year-old publicist in New York City, whose content consists mainly of cheeky, satirical PowerPoint presentations, created one centered on educating his parents on proper texting etiquette. Yes. He was attempting to educate them.

The primary learning point? The “exclamation” or “emphasis” reaction, aka “tapback” that you can attach to a message. According to Saperstone, his parents were using it wrong.

"Mom and Dad, I love you, but you need to get better at texting," he said at the beginning of his lesson. "So the thing we’re going to be working on today is how to use the emphasis."

According to Saperstone, you react with an emphasis when:

  • You agree with the sender.
  • You find yourself in the same situation.
  • Someone is ignoring you and you want their attention.

Is this news to you? Are you wondering if Gen Z actually understands what the original meaning behind an exclamation point even is? Or any punctuation, for that matter? You’re not alone.

texting, gen z, communication, generational humor, parenting, texting etiquette, powerpoint, kids We can't even agree on basic grammar?! media0.giphy.com

Saperstone’s parents (rightfully…sorry, my bias is showing) thought it should be used to show excitement or enthusiasm. For example, when he let them know that he happened to be in the bar that Alex Cooper, host of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, was at, his mother used the emphasis tapback because she was “excited” for him.

“That would mean that you’re also at the bar with Alex Cooper," Saperstone argued, saying that she should have “liked” the message with a thumb’s up. Which, may I add, was previously labeled as "passive aggressive” by Gen Z…so why are we giving them carte blanche on all things text communications?

Luckily for Saperstone’s parents, folks rallied in the comment section either by agreeing with his mom’s interpretation…

“DISAGREE with the presenter and AGREE with mom. The emphasis on the Alex Cooper text conveys ‘holy sh**! That’s awesome!’”

“I kind of agree with Mom here! I use it like ‘omg, whaaat?’ Like in response to someone telling me something wild or exciting.”

“Not us all agreeing with Mom 💀 if you send me a thumbs up when I send you exciting news imma cry.”

…or by declaring that Gen Zers don’t hold ultimate authority on this topic.

texting, gen z, communication, generational humor, parenting, texting etiquette, powerpoint, kids When it comes to texting…the kids are NOT alright. media4.giphy.com

“Taking communication advice from Gen Z is like taking financial advice from Boomers.”

“Ok emphasis is an exclamation point and in grammar (which hasn’t changed its rules) it expresses excitement or surprise. So the older generation uses it as intended and the younger generation is making up their own rules.”

“What cracks me up is the fact that he thinks his generation gets to decide the meaning of ‘!!’ or any other emoji. Just because that’s what you have decided that’s what it means doesn’t mean you’re correct, or that another meaning of it is necessarily wrong. It means different things to different generations, and that’s actually perfectly ok. 😊”

And honestly, it’s the latter point that really hits home here. When it comes to texting, we can all agree to disagree with certain nuances. But in no way, shape, or form does Gen Z get to enforce its own made-up linguistic rules upon the rest of the world. Sorry. You can reclaim low rise jeans if you want, but we’re keeping basic grammar.

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My Gen Z kids say periods in my texts are 'aggressive.' I'm not stopping anytime soon.

I was texting before they were even born, why should they get to make the rules?

Photo credit: Canva, Screenshot via Annie Reneau

If you want to freak out a Gen Zer, put a period at the end of a text message.

"Hi." ... "Omg, are you mad at me?"

As a Gen X mom of three Gen Z kids in their teens and 20s, there's a lot that I'm willing to concede and even celebrate when it comes to the gap between our generations. I love Gen Z's global consciousness, their openness about mental health, their focus on inclusivity, and their insistence on wearing comfortable shoes with formal wear. But there's one Gen Z feature that I simply cannot abide, and that is the weaponization of basic punctuation.

"It freaks me out when you say 'yes period' in a text," my high schooler told me one day. "It feels so aggressive, like I feel like I'm in trouble or something." I stared at him incredulously as his 20-year-old sister laughed but then agreed with him. "It does! The period makes it feel like you're mad," she said.

texting conversation, periods in texts Misunderstandings happen when people start changing what punctuation means.Screenshot via Annie Reneau

Ah yes, the period, the most benign punctuation mark of them all, is "aggressive." Far from being a mere generational quirk, this misinterpreting of normal punctuation in text messages as aggressive or angry could result in serious communication breakdowns. Talking by text is already hard enough, and now we're adding a layer of meaning that older folks don't have a clue about?

The kids are serious about this, though. According to Gen Zers, pretty much any time someone puts a period at the end of a text, it means they're mad or irritated, as if the period is being emphasized.

period, punctuation, texting, text punctuation Unless you literally say, "period," a period doesn't mean anything but the end of a thought. Giphy GIF by Sony Pictures Television

At the risk of sounding like a dinosaur, I'd like to point out that reading into periods in texts like this is just silly. It seems silly when the young folks do it with each other, but it's extra silly when they do it with adults who didn't grow up with texting and have ingrained grammatical habits that aren't easy to shake. (And frankly, some of us don't want to shake—I'm a former English teacher, for crying out loud. Might as well ask me to start misspelling words on purpose.)

In no reasonable world can "Yes." be automatically viewed as aggressive. It's just not. Neither is "Time to get off the computer." Neither is "Got it." Or "OK." or "Sure." I understand that texting conventions have evolved such that end punctuation isn't viewed as necessary, but when did we start assigning negative intentions to very basic punctuation? A period should not be read as anything more than a matter-of-fact, neutral-toned statement, since we have other tools for conveying tone in writing—capital letters, italics, bold, exclamation points. I mean, if I wanted to be aggressive, I'd text, "HEY—it's time to GET OFF the COMPUTER!" We also have a slew of emojis to convey tone. A period is and has always been neutral. That's literally the entire point of a period.

I'm even willing to give Gen Z an inch on the thumbs-up emoji—they think that's aggressive, too—only because emojis are new and their meanings are up for interpretation. But a period? Not budging. That little dot has been signaling the end of people's thoughts for centuries. Periods can and do sometimes affect tone in subtle ways—"No, I didn't," hits slightly differently than "No. I didn't."—but their basic inclusion at the end of a thought in no way signals aggression or anger, by text or otherwise. Not on Gen X's watch, at least. This is one generational hill I am willing to die on.

mic drop, making a point This Gen Xer will not be swayed. Giphy Parks And Recreation Mic Drop GIF

These unwritten rules of texting seem to have been concocted by Gen Z, but when? And how? Who decides these things? Is there a group of super powerful and influential young adults who put out a bat signal at some point saying that periods are symbols of aggression? If the young folks want to play the reading-into-basic-punctuation game amongst themselves, making communication much more complicated for themselves, have at it. But please don't ascribe intent to us old fogies who've had "declarative statements end in periods" ingrained in us since elementary school.

Texting wasn't always like this. When texting first became a thing, using periods in them was pretty normal. As more and more people started dropping them (and capitalization—another deep English teacher wound), I held firm to their usage, mostly out of habit and feeling like my texts were incomplete without them. As my kids got old enough to text and informed me that periods are viewed by their age group as aggressive, I reconsidered. Should I stop using them, giving in to the tyranny of Gen Z's overthinking? Should I keep using them, embracing the fact that I'm old and set in my ways?

texting, text punctuation, aggressive punctuation, periods in texts Periods are just periods.Photo credit: Canva

Ultimately, I landed on sometimes using periods in texts and sometimes not—a compromise between my own rigid grammar rules and Gen Z's seemingly senseless texting rules. Except only using periods sometimes just confuses my kids even more, which is hilarious. Is Mom mad? Is she not? My daughter said she just has to remind herself who is texting, knowing that I—and most of my generation—simply don't use periods aggressively.

Seriously, it's not happening. Not now. Not ever. Period.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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These 5 phrases will win people over during small talk, according to communication specialists

Master the art of small talk.

Image via Canva/SDI Productions

Communication specialists share best phrases to win people over during small talk.

Small talk is a skill that can be hard to grasp. Striking up a conversation with acquaintances (or sometimes complete strangers) can be a challenge, even for the most gifted gabber. While you may loathe small talk, research shows that it helps build a stronger sense of community and belonging.

"Small talk gets a bad rap because it feels like filler before the ‘real’ conversation begins. It’s really an opportunity to make an impression," explains Cheryl Overton, brand strategist and founder of Cheryl Overton Communications. "What makes it awkward is the lack of intention. When we approach it with a 'get in, get out' energy, we miss the opportunity to connect."

Coming prepared to social situations with small talk questions and phrases will help you feel more confident—and connected— to others.

small talk, small talk questions, small talk phrases, making small talk, small talk help People socializing and making small talk.Image via Canva/ELEVATE

"There’s no need to try to be impressive, clever, or interesting," says Rhonda Khan, public speaking coach and CEO at Simply Speech Solutions. "The best conversations come from being present, curious, and intentional, making small talk less of a chore and instead the beginning of a true, fulfilling connection."

These are 5 small talk questions and phrases to keep in mind that can help you keep conversations flowing, according to communication specialists:

Phrase #1: "That sounds important to you—tell me more."
Using this phrase during your small talk conversation will show you're interested.

"Acknowledging what matters to someone builds instant rapport," says Cyndee Harrison, co-founder of communications firm Synaptic. "It demonstrates empathy, active listening, and a desire to understand their perspective rather than just responding with your own."

Phrase #2: "I would love to hear your take on this."
This will encourage the person you are talking with to share more and make your interest clear.

"People love to share their opinions, especially on things they feel passionate about," says Khan. "By asking their opinion, you are inviting their voice into the space, making them feel seen and valued."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Phrase #3: "What’s making you smile these days?"
This question will help you learn more about the passions of the person you're talking to.

"This works by elevating 'what do you do?' to 'what do you love?'," says Overton. "It gives the other person permission to share something meaningful and energizing, which creates connection."

Phrase #4: "I read something recently that reminded me of this…"
Using this phrase during small talk will help you connect on something you're both curious about.

"Bringing in an outside insight adds value to the exchange and shifts the conversation from small talk to shared knowledge," says Harrison. "It can spark curiosity and turn the moment into something memorable."

@remenicole

a little bit of small talk can change your life💃🏽

Phrase #5: "What inspired you to get into that?"
Small talk usually involves talking about careers, and this question goes deeper.

"This works by putting the emphasis on the 'why' behind their 'what' and positions it inspirationally, making the respondent feel like a hero vs. a cog," adds Overton. "This phrase invites story and shows you’re curious about their journey, not just their job title."

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Linguists explain why some slang words come and go quickly while others have staying power

"On fleek" was a flash in the pan, but "cool" has stuck around for nearly a century.

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Linguists Nicole Holliday and Ben Zimmer explain the history of slang terms on WIRED.

If you're a parent of a Gen Alpha or Gen Z kid, or spend any significant amount of time with young people, you've likely found yourself befuddled by some of the slang terms coming out of their mouths—skibidi, sigma, 6-7, drip, rizz. And if you aren't around many young people, now is not really an ideal time to try to learn their slang because it changes so quickly.

Why do some slang terms stick around while others don't? Linguists Nicole Holliday and Ben Zimmer shared some of the history of slang with WIRED and explained what gives certain words staying power while others fizzle out quickly. For instance, several years ago, "on fleek" (meaning something attractive or perfectly executed) took off but didn't really stay in the popular vernacular for long. "Cool," on the other hand, has been around so long people don't even think of it as a slang term, even though it is one.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Holiday and Zimmer start off by sharing some delightful insults people used on the streets of London in 1699, which included words like booberkin, clodpate, dulpickle, nigmenog, and jobbernoll. We don't hear any of those words today, but they were listed in one of the first English slang dictionaries published that year, giving us a glimpse of what English rapscallions at the turn of the 18th century were calling one another.

Ironically, though, the publishing of that slang dictionary may very well have been what spelled those words' demise.

"From the earliest recorded slang in English, one thing we see is that these words can have a really short shelf life, just from too many people knowing about it," says Zimmer.

fetch, slang, mean girls, slang words, linguistics, communication Remember when Gretchen Wieners tried to make "fetch" a new slang word? Giphy

That's because slang is usually coined and spreads as an "in-group" signifier. Young people in particular start using a word or phrase that older people don't, and it serves as a way of saying, "We're a new generation of our own, not just a reflection of our parents." But if older people start using those words or phrases, they no longer serve that purpose and lose their appeal. In the age of the Internet, that means slang comes and goes very quickly because we're all privy to it.

"The whole process of slang becoming popular and then immediately passe gets accelerated when you can spread new language around really quickly," Holiday explains. "So if you're on social media, you might see a lot of slangy flashes in the pan."

A good example of this is "YOLO." The term, which stands for You Only Live Once, came from a Drake song and was a huge slang term in 2011-2012. Young people were using it, saying it, hashtagging it, etc., but it didn't last.

yolo, slang, linguistics, language, words YOLO came and went quickly, thanks to older people picking it up. Giphy

"I wrote something about YOLO in the summer of 2012," says Zimmer, and I remember it was already getting played out, and it was just months after the song came out. But then I really knew that it was over for YOLO when I heard that Katie Couric on her new talk show was doing a segment called 'What's your YOLO?' where you were supposed to come on and talk about things you wanna do before you die…That was really the death knell for it."

Other words have quickly gone from cool to cringe in a relatively short period of time as well, such as "cheugy." If you're over a certain age, you may have missed the cheugy train altogether because it really went by that fast. It was a word Gen Zers used to describe Millennials who were "off trend," but as soon as Millennials themselves used it (and had a New York Times piece written about it) "cheugy" itself became cheugy, and the word quickly lost its slang status among the generation that popularized it.

cheugy, slang, communication, language, linguistics, SNL "Cheugy" became cheugy once adults got a hold of it. Giphy

"On fleek" is another flash in the pan slang term that got ruined by overexposure. Coined by a 17-year-old girl from Chicago who described her eyebrows as "on fleek" in a viral Vine video, it was all the rage for hot minute, but when brands started using it—IHOP even posted a tweet saying "Pancakes on fleek"—it got sent to the vault where slang words go to die.

But what about the slang that doesn't die? "Booze" is a perfect example, as it's been used since the early 16th century as a slang word for alcohol and is still going strong. So is "cool." Starting around 1930, the word became a slang term for anything good, and with the exception of a dip in popularity during the 1960s (when good became "groovy" for a bit there), it has managed to maintain its status as slang that crosses generations. Linguist Donna Jo Napoli believes cool has held on due to its "underspecified" nature, meaning it can be adapted to lots of different contexts.

cool, slang, language, linguistics, communication "Cool" has had staying power through multiple generations. Giphy

But really, what makes a slang word stick and when it's socially acceptable for different people to use it depends on a lot of different social factors, says Zimmer. It may be impossible to predict which slang words will stick, which will fly by quickly, which will eventually make a comeback, and which will die a permanent death, but I think there's one thing we can all agree on: "Booberkin" most definitely deserves a revival.

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