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Woman without kids cancels trip with mom friends because she's sick of hearing about babies

"It's not the weekend for me."

via Kampus Production/Pexels

Five women hold their bellies in a baby shower photo.

Getting married and having a child is a huge life change and so when a group of friends goes through the same experience together, it’s a great way to bond. Unfortunately, for some people, these changes on the domestic front can take over their lives and become their entire personality.

People who are single and aren’t looking to have kids any time soon can have a hard time relating to their friends who are married with children because they have less in common. Further, when you don’t have children, it can be a little tedious to hear people talk all day about lactation, sleep schedules and spitting up.

These topics can be boring to people who have children, too.

children, family, friendship, vacation, childfree, having kids A woman without kids says she's tired of hearing about her friends' babiesImage via Canva

A Redditor who goes by Remarkable_Lake410, who we’ll call RL for brevity’s sake, recently ran into this problem with her friends. Instead of feigning interest in married mom life, she decided to be honest with them about why she didn’t want to join them on a trip.

“I (27F) have a group of female friends (8 of us). We have been friends for over a decade, since school. Now, we don’t live in the same place, but we meet up a couple of times a year for a weekend on an Airbnb. This used to be a weekend of good food, drinks, hot tub, etc.” she wrote on the AITH forum.

“Around five of my friends are either married or in very long-term relationships. Of these five, two either have a baby or are pregnant. I will be seeing all of my friends this year for various wedding, friend and baby events. I have been invited to this year's girls' trip, but I have said I can’t come. I didn’t originally provide a reason,” she continued.

@tmurph
When I’m on Vacation I don’t have any kids🤣…those kids are US citizens I’m Jamaican unit next week 🤷🏾‍♂️😂 . . . . #tmurph #parenting #momsoftiktok #mom #momlife #dad #dadlife #parentinghacks #millennial #reels #explorepage #fyp #adultchildren #parentstruggles #foryoupage #parenthood_moments #vacation #jamaica #parentsvacation #getaway

But a friend pushed her to find out why she didn’t want to go on the trip and she was honest: She didn’t want to be stuck constantly hearing about babies, marriage and weddings on a trip that was going to cost a significant amount of money.

“[Last time], I listened to one of my friends talk about her breastfeeding plans, with vengeance, for over an hour. She is not pregnant or trying. Truthfully, it’s boring, and it feels dismissive,” RL wrote. It’s also a really expensive way to feel bad about myself.”

When her friend heard her reason, she was “really hurt,” and it felt like RL didn’t care about her and her other friends. So, RL asked the Reddit forum if she was in the wrong for being honest and skipping a trip that would be all about marriage and babies.

The post received over 4,000 responses that were overwhelmingly supportive for RL.

family, kids, vacation, women, babies, having children, not having children The woman received a wave of support for her decision to not travel with family-obsessed friendsImage via Canva

"On the surface, this seems like it’s just about engagements, weddings and babies. You go out of your way to be constantly supportive of them. However they don’t reciprocate that for you. They can’t relate to anything or want to relate to anything outside of their lives. It would sort of be like if you just won an award, but all they talked about was the pie they just ate that morning," Dependant_praline_93 wrote in the most popular comment.

"We all change as we get older. You naturally drift apart from some friends, especially if their lifestyle changes dramatically (think married with children, in particular). I wouldn't want to spend a lot of money to spend 3 days with a group that had such dis-similar interests. And I don't think it was wrong to be truthful when your friend asked you why you wouldn't go," Smokin_HOT_Ice added.

women, vacation, kids, parenting, not having kids, vacation without kids Two women talk while drinking teaImage via Canva

One commenter with kids has a close friend who is a child-free and she has made an effort to ask her about her life and interests of just talking about parenting.

“I was 38 when I had my first child and I read an article in Working Mother magazine when I was pregnant, and it said not to be the jerk who always talks about your pregnancy and your baby to your friends, especially the ones without babies,” JellyBear135 wrote. “When I see her, I always ask about her work, her activities outside of work and recently, her new baby dog. She lives alone and doesn’t have a lot of people who always ask about her life so I make sure I always do. I check in via text every couple of weeks to ask her about her life.”

After receiving a huge response from her post, RL wrote an update revealing that another friend who’s in the same boat decided not to go on the trip as well. “I have spoken to one of my other friends invited on the trip (who is also not at the baby stage of life); she is also not going on the trip and said she is not attending for the same reason,” RL wrote.

It seems the big takeaway from RL’s dilemma isn’t just that stage-of-life changes such as marriage and having babies can create chasms in friendships. But we need to make sure that we’re not just talking about ourselves to our friends but listening to them as well. Because a one-way friendship isn’t a friendship at all.

This article originally appeared last year.

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family

Parenting

Dad makes kids put down their phones then captures hilarious video of them 'playing' outside

No one has ever looked so sad on a swing.

Canva Photos

These dang kids and their dang screens! I'm loathe to admit that I've had this thought a lot lately myself. When it comes to planning our kids' summer break, a part of my brain assumes they'll just want to play outside with their friends most of the day; making up games, riding bikes, coming inside to grab popsicles. The stuff I did at their age. But in reality it hasn't worked out like that. Most kids in the neighborhood are either in camps, or they're inside watching TV or playing video games.

When I try to encourage my kids to go outside more, I get a lot of grumbling and push back. Is it possible this generation has just... forgotten how to play? Are the phones and tablets to blame for this strange phenomenon? One dad recently had the brilliant idea to take his kids to the park, take away their phones, and force them to go play. The results were... not exactly what he was hoping for.

Kids these days Giphy

"It was a nice day outside," Charles Lavea told Newsweek. "I thought we could go get food and eat at the park. I took my daughters' devices, phones and iPads, off them and left them at home. I wanted them to get some sun and fresh air, so we went."

In footage shared by Laveas on TikTok, you can see what happened next. HIs two girls are shown sitting on swings, forlornly swaying back and forth, not knowing what to do with themselves. You can tell they're just disassociating until dad's weird little experiment is over. They would rather be anywhere else in the world. Specifically, they'd like to check in on what's going on on their phones. It's all over their faces and in their sad, hunched over body language.

Watch the comical video here:

@lifewithlaveas
This generation man 🤣🤣🤦 I remember growing up all we did was play at the park with the kids in the neighbourhood 🤷 #lifewithlaveas #girldad #funnymoments #trendingsound #titanicflutefail #tiktokparent #viralvideos #fyp

Commenters had a field day, and most agreed: Kids "these days" don't know how to play outside.

"Bro when I was that age me and my sista be seeing who can swing the highest and jump off the swing on our feet"

"They would ratha watch other kids playing from there devices"

"Kids these days won't know the struggles we been through since the 80s - 90s kids been through with no phones, gaming pc, iPhone, Samsung, tablets, Facebook, tiktok, YouTube & Instagram wasn't invented. Even internet was hard to get when we use to have dial-up internet back then."

"Honestly the kids nowadays have no idea how to play outside eh? My kids too 😂🙈 I used to run out the door and never came back til the street lights turned on."

The data backs it up. There's been a shocking decline in often kids play outside in the last couple of decades. One study estimates only 6% of kids aged 9-13 regularly play outside unsupervised.

But is it so simple as to say that phones and tablets have rewired our kid's brains and the fun of playing outside can't keep up with the quick and easy dopamine hits found on screens? That's part of the problem, sure. But did you know that only around 20% of kids walk or bike to school, compared to 70% of parents who did so when they were young? That's not kids' fault, and it's definitely not because they're in their room playing on their iPads. It's because our culture has stoked so much fear in parents that our kids will be kidnapped or hit by a car that we rarely let them out of our sight anymore.

Kids have less unstructured free time than they did in the past, too. Your average kid is enrolled in more sports, clubs, and extracurriculars than ever before. Those are generally good things on their own — these activities challenge them, teach them new skills, and help them make new friends. But it doesn't leave them a lot of time to flex their imagination and invent silly outside games with other kids, and that time is important too.

It's easy to grumble about how kids are obsessed with their devices — and of course, genuinely laugh when dads like Lavea show that their kids barely know how to use a swingset — but change is going to have to start with us parents. The screens aren't going anywhere. Time spent playing outside is so good for a child's mind, body, and soul. We may just have to awkwardly force them into it a little more often, and that might mean pushing our own fears aside, or (the scariest thing of all) putting our own phones down to lead the way, too.

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parenting

Family

One couple's perfect response to people asking when they're going to have kids

Choosing to have kids or not have kids is no one else's decision but yours.

Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.

She’s giving birth to a puppy.

"When are you guys going to start having kids?"

Like many couples, Carrie Jansen and her husband Nic had heard this question a million different ways, a million different times.

The pressure really started to mount when the pair, who've been together for eight years, got married three years ago. While Carrie loves kids (she's an elementary school teacher, after all), she and Nic simply aren't interested in having kids of their own. Now or ever.

"It's not what I was meant for," explains Carrie in a Facebook message. "It's like, I love flowers, and everyone loves flowers. But that doesn't mean I want to grow my own. I'm perfectly happy admiring other people's gardens."

Carrie wanted to tell her family that they don't plan on having kids but knew if she did, they'd say something like, "Oh you'll change your mind one day!" and that pesky question would keep rearing its ugly head.

marriage, adults, children, social pressure, pregnancy

Dressed to the nines on their wedding day.

Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

Rather than continue to deflect the question over and over, Carrie decided to do something a little bit different.

Since the couple was adding another mouth to feed to the family, they decided to announce it with a series of maternity-style photos, revealing the twist: The new addition was a puppy named Leelu, not a baby.

pets, viral, moms, dads, maternity, babies

Look at my newborn baby... puppy.

Photo via Carrie Jensen/Imgur, used with permission.

"My husband and I have been married 3 years and everyone is bugging us about having a baby. Close enough right?" she captioned the photos.

Her pictures went insanely viral, with many of the commenters giving her props for hilariously addressing the dreaded "kids " question.

The adorable pup.

Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

"If you don't want kids, don't have kids. Seriously. Have fun with each other. I had three kids early and it's all about them now," wrote one user. "I wish people would just mind their business raising a kid ain't easy and cheap," wrote another.

"I got my husband a vasectomy for his birthday this year. Best gift ever," chimed in a third.

Carrie was overwhelmed and inspired by the viral response. "Having children is definitely a hot topic, and one that is evolving in this generation like so many other social issues," she says. "It's exciting to find others that feel the same way I do.”

Carrie is hardly alone in not wanting to have kids — in fact, a record number of women are choosing not to have kids today.

In 2014, the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey found 47.6% of women between age 15 and 44 had never had children, which is the highest percentage on record. Despite the numbers, however, because we still live in a patriarchally-driven society, women regularly face the expectation that they should be mothers, and they often are judged if they decide not to be.

Whether you want to have one kid, five kids, no kids, or a puppy, the choice should be yours and no one else's.

$holidays, gifts, woman\u2019s rights, gender equality,$

The holiday photo in front of the Christmas tree.

Photo via Carrie Jansen, used with permission.

No one else has the right to put pressure on you to change your body and life in a drastic way. Thankfully, because of women like Carrie — and partners like Nic — who aren't afraid to bring the subject out in the open, the expectations are slowly but surely changing.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.

From Your Site Articles

Joy

A toddler kept tapping a woman's arm on a plane. Her response holds a lesson for us all.

"These are the types of people we need on airplanes."

@Cosmic-Chen/Reddit

What do you do when a little hand comes out of nowhere to feel your arm?

Being locked in a metal box with 150 random people all hurtling through the air at 30,000 feet is quite the social experiment, but one many of us do willingly in this age of air travel. One of the most notable parts of that experiment is that you never know who's going to sit near you on an airplane. Will you get the quiet reader? The Chatty Cathy? The cougher who doesn't cover their mouth? The sweet-but-over-perfumed old lady? The parent with a baby who screams from takeoff to landing?

Flying can feel like a game of roulette, especially when you find yourself sitting near one of the most unpredictable forces on Earth—a toddler. Tiny tots can make for the most delightful trip ever or the most annoying one, but as one couple demonstrates, the difference sometimes comes down to our own attitude.

A video shared on Reddit reads, "We were on the plane when this baby's hand kept reaching out and touching my arm from behind…" At first, we see a zoomed in shot of a woman's arm next to the window as a little hand reaches around the side of her seat and taps her repeatedly and enthusiastically. Then the camera pants to the woman's face and the face of the man with her, and their expressions say it all.

from MadeMeSmile

Clearly, the child is enjoying the feel of the woman's arm. Tap tap tap, rub rub, squeeze, tap tap. No hesitation, zero sense of decorum, just a totally oblivious toddler sensory experience. A little annoying? Probably. Pure and wholesome and worthy of a laugh? Absolutely.

This woman could have asked the parent to stop their child from touching her (and she may have eventually). Not everyone finds small children cute and some people have sensory issues of their own that make such encounters more bothersome than it would be for others. But assuming the toddler arm massage was temporary and that the parents saw what was happening and stopped it, the reaction of the couple is a perfect example of finding the joy in life and rolling with the punches.

As the post reads, "Those small hands are a sign of absolute tenderness," and people are loving the immediate mirthful reaction the pair had to the wee one's curious little fingers.

"Nothing cuter than seeing a baby flailing their arms and slapping things because they are happy. They have no control. They just know they’re happy."

'The baby slaps 'yep this is good arm' tap tap."

"My grandma had the softest bat wings in the world. I used to love to touch them. I’m sure she was self conscious about it but I loved them lol."

"As a parent I would be horrified to discover my kid was doing this but so relieved that they were such good sports about it. These are the types of people we need on airplanes."

"Same, I’m always concerned how my kid behaves on a plane ride (and he freaking loves being on a plane) but I find most people to be such good sports around him. Love when it works out that way. Though I 10/10 would have snatched that hand away soon as I noticed 😂😂😂."

"The people laughing were so kind! I can imagine some people would lose it if a child did this but they just enjoyed it. 🥰"

"Seriously! Seeing the humor in everyday life says a lot about their temperament. They seem like great folks."

Some people shared their own stories of toddlers similarly pawing at perfect strangers. It's helpful to remember that these little ones have only been on the planet for a hot minute and they barely have anything figured out yet. The nuances of what and whom to touch and not to touch takes a while, as does having the impulse control to not just reach out and feel whatever looks soft or interesting in the moment.

"Oh my gosh, that reminded me of a time when my son was small, maybe 18 months? We were in line at a restaurant and he was toddling around my legs and holding on to my finger while I chatted with my sister and mom. I felt him let go, and looked down to see where he was off to. He was standing by a lady a couple of people ahead of me who was wearing fishnet tights. He was rubbing her leg with his tiny baby hands and looked just MESMERIZED. I, on the other hand, was absolutely mortified and grabbed him up, apologizing all over the place, but luckily she was very cool about it and was just laughing.

Little kids like to just touch stuff to learn more about the world around them, but parents need to be constantly paying attention so their kid doesn't accidentally harass someone!"

"A little kid of around that age did this to me at restaurant once- he walked up to me, rubbed my bare forearm, and then gave me that same mesmerized look and tapped me with his hand a couple times. I didn't think too much of it (was more puzzled/confused than anything), but his mom had to pick him up and apologized anyway. Kids are funny haha."

"Yes this is so adorable. The last time I took a flight with a kid sitting behind me he was kicking my seat for like two hours before I politely turned around and gave a look to his mother and said 'hey my little friend. I know this flight is long and you wanna get out of this seat but do you mind not kicking my seat anymore?' Then I gave him a piece of paper and some (like 5 out of my 50) colored pencils and asked him if he could make me a secret drawing and pass it to me quietly and I’d make him one. I’m an artist and I always carry watercolors and colored pencils and sketch books on flights. We ended up passing drawing back and forth for the rest of the remaining 5 hour flight. He didn’t kick my seat again… I suspect it was the poignant look I gave mom. But so he was engaged. Every 20 minutes or so I’d feel a little tap on my arm and a folded up little drawing would appear. I still have them in the pocket of a moleskin somewhere."

Here's to grownups joyfully embracing the reality of co-existing with small children, in all their curious, sensory-driven, hands-on glory.

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joy

Humor

Woman gets call from upset teacher over cousin to sneaking in grandson's bedroom at night

Cousin Vicky just can't seem to stay out of the kids' bedrooms at night.

Photo credit: Canva

Woman gets upset call over cousin sneaking into grandchild's bedrooms

Every caregiver welcomes positive phone calls from teachers or school administrators. It gives you and the child a boost for the day, and sometimes it can be the thing that turns your day around. But every phone call can't be about a good deed that a child has done, some school communications are the kind that are needed to get to the bottom of something or express a concern.

These more serious calls can be uncomfortable for everyone involved as well as scary due to not knowing how the other party will react. Dawn Marie is a grandmother that helps take care of her grandchildren, so the children have their own bedrooms and clothes at her house. Recently, Dawn was a recipient to one of the more uncomfortable phone calls schools sometimes have to make, but this wasn't about her grandson's behavior.

The phone call was much more concerning that she was prepared to handle. Turns out her grandson has been complaining to his teachers that his cousin Vicky comes into his room and hides under his bed late at night. Doing what any teacher would, she asked the small child if he informed an adult to which the child responded that he has told his grandmother about it several times and she won't stop Vicky. Clearly, this is not a situation to be taken lightly based on the information the child is giving to his teachers which is why they reached out to Dawn for clarification.

Tv Land Running GIF by Teachers on TV LandGiphy

The grandmother was shocked by her grandchild's confession but not because they boy's story was untrue. Dawn admits in a video uploaded to TikTok that her grandson was absolutely telling the truth. Vicky does come into his bedroom at night but she also goes into the bedroom of his sibling as well and she had no intention of stopping it for a very unexpected reason.

"He also told them that he has expressed to me that he was afraid of her and I just say, 'she's not doing anything to you.' So they asked my grandson if Vicky was a dog, a cat, or an animal of some sort and he said 'no, Vicky is my cousin.' He also said that there are times that I do go into his room and I go under his bed to get Vicky and I put her in the kitchen and I make her stay there all night," the woman says before continuing. "Y'all I gotta stop playing around with my grandkids because I have jokingly said that Vicky was their cousin and he really took that to heart because Vicky happens to be..."

@dawnlewinsky5 ‼️I tell my kids their cousin Vicky does more in the house then all of them combined. She is welcomed and should be treated with respect‼️#fyp #foryoupage #joke #storytime #family #story #school #momlife #kidsoftiktok #contentcreator #influencer ♬ original sound - Dawn Marie

The woman's camera cuts to a Verslife robot vacuum on a charging port. Dawn then explains that Vicky, the robot vacuum is on a timer to clean the floors from 1 AM to 2 AM so she can work while everyone is asleep and nothing is on the floor. This makes it easier for Dawn to wake up in the morning to mop the floors but her grandson didn't explain that pertinent bit of information to his teachers. Likely because in his eyes, Vicky was in fact his cousin due the the joke his grandmother made. People thought the innocent mistake was quite hilarious.

"They was about to call CPS on you over Vicky," one person laughs.

"As a teacher I would had been dying laughing finding out it was a vacuum cleaner," someone writes.

Clean Up Animation GIF by NickelodeonGiphy

"I hollered when you revealed Vicky," another giggles.

"Them ppl was gonna be coming to take u down, and I’m thinking Vicky was a ghost," someone else shares.

One person asked the question on everyone's mind, "please explain how you explain that to the school cuz that was funny," before Dawn answers, "I let them finish and then I simply said but Vicky is my robot vacuum. She does more than he does around here and we laughed."

Let this be a hilarious lesson to parents and caregivers with young children, when giving your robot vacuum human names, be sure you inform the child that when they tell others about it to include that it is indeed a robot. That certainly could've ended with a knock at the door from child protective services, thankfully it only ended in a belly laugh for everyone involved.

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parenting

Pop Culture

Man skillfully raps Dr. Seuss rhymes over Dr. Dre beats in a must-see mashup

Seriously impressive.

Wes Tank/Youtube

It's entirely possible that someone has rapped Dr. Seuss stories before, but I've never seen it. Now that I have seen it, the rhyming children's classics I've read over and over to my kids are never going to be the same—and not in a bad way.

Filmmaker Wes Tank has taken some of Dr. Seuss's most popular stories and rapped them over Dr. Dre beats in a mashup so perfect it's a wonder it hadn't been done a million times before. Check out his rap of the tongue-twisting Fox in Sox. If you've ever tried to read this book out loud, you know how challenging it is not to flub, especially the second half. To rap it like Tanks does is an incredibly impressive—and enjoyable—feat.

FOX IN SOX | Dr. Seuss Raps over Dr. Dre Beatswww.youtube.com

The comments on the videos are almost as entertaining as the videos themselves. Here's what people are saying about the Fox in Sox rap:

"All of a sudden the coronavirus isn't the illest thing out there."

"Am now convinced Dr.Seuss was some rapper's ghost writer."

"I've listened to this maybe 7 times so far. Still not sick of it."

"Yo, the tweedle beetle battle bit was fire."

Tank also rapped the cautionary environmental tale, The Lorax.

THE LORAX | Dr. Seuss Raps over Dr. Dre Beatswww.youtube.com

And people loved it.

"I'm devastated to think that there are only a finite number of Dre beats & Seuss books. Please don't ever stop."

"I didn't think rapping dr Seuss books was something I needed in my life but now I know better."

"This is way better than the movie was."

"Omg I just told my seven-year-old there was a new Doctor Seuss rap video, and now he's jumping up and down screaming with excitement, and begging to go to bed... 😂😂😂 Thanks?!"

How about a little One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish?

ONE FISH, TWO FISH, RED FISH, BLUE FISH | Dr. Seuss Raps over Dr. Dre Beatswww.youtube.com

And the comments keep on coming:

"This guy just filled a niche I didn't even know existed."

"Dr. Seuss' books weren't part of my childhood. Rap isn't really my thing. Why do I find these videos so awesome? Because they are amazing!"

"You are frighteningly good at this."

"3:05 is the literal definition of how to hit a beat with ferocity."

So far, it looks like Tanks has six Dr. Seuss/Dr. Dre videos on his YouTube channel, which you can check out here.

Well done, Wes Tanks. (Personal request—do The Sneetches next, please and thank you.)

This article originally appeared five years ago.

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dr. seuss

Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships, as explained by 10 paintings.

The amazing bond between dads and daughters.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

I have plenty of space.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.