upworthy

childfree

A woman saying "back off."

There’s a growing trend in America of younger people not wanting to have children. In 2018, 37% of adults under 50 said that they didn’t want to have children, and, five years later in 2023, that number grew to 47%. That’s a big leap from those 50 and over, which over 31% said they never wanted to have children.

Why aren’t young people having as many kids?

There are many reasons why people decide not to have kids, whether it’s finances, the current state of the world, or a desire to spend their time and attention on their careers. But among those under 50 who aren’t interested in having children, the most popular reason is, they just don’t want to.

Tara Margulies, women’s health influencer and host of the Understand Your Cycle podcast, used a metaphor about a mythical genie in a bottle to explain why she doesn’t want to have any children. “If you gave me a genie and you said, 'You can have three wishes,' and I said, 'I want unlimited money. I want a 100% guarantee that I'm going to have zero complications in my pregnancy, my birth. It's not going to cause any problems in my relationship at all. And I'd magically have unlimited time to be able to do everything that I wanted as well as raise this child. I still wouldn't do it," Margulies said.

Margulies insists that her child-free choice is genuine and a hallmark of her generation. “And it's not some kind of feminist brainwash telling me that I'm finally allowed and should be selfish. It's that we are the first generation that's openly talking about it like this, and it makes people mad,” she said.

Her bottom line is simple: “Not everybody is meant to procreate, and that is okay.”

Margulies' followers shared their reasons for not wanting kids, which are all pretty straightforward. “Read something genius: Would I be a good mom? Yes. Would I be a happy mom? No." Anna wrote. “I don’t want children, and I never have. I have never felt the urge to be a mother. I honestly do not like kids, and pregnancy freaks me out. It is not the life for me. Courtney added.

woman says no, woman raises finger, no kids, childfree, independant woman, millennialA woman holding up her pointer finger.via Canva/Photos

A parent in the comments is totally on board with Margulies’ decision. “As a parent, I really don’t understand the hate and push to everyone to have kids. Kids are hard work. If you aren’t fully wanting it, why would you!" Luce wrote.

Margulies sees her decision as the logical result of the women’s rights movement. "In a lot of cases, we're the first generation of women in our lineage to be privileged enough to have a choice," Margulies told Newsweek. "We can make our own money, own our own property, we don't feel the pressure our parents felt to do what everyone else is doing."

woman says no, no kids, childfree, independant woman, millennial, noA woman with "no" written on her hands. via Canva/Photos

Margulies’ TikTok post is crucial because even though millennial women are in the position where they can confidently make their own reproductive choices, many women in her age group still feel pressured to have children. Those who do not are often stigmatized as selfish by their loved ones and society at large, even though studies show that childfree women are generally happier, healthier, less depressed, less anxious, and more satisfied than mothers. They also tend to have happier marriages and romantic relationship satisfaction.

The good news is that people like Margulies are choosing to be childfree because women have earned the right in developed countries to make their own reproductive choices and are in the position to live life on their own terms. Ultimately, it’s the best choice for all involved, because children deserve parents who fully invest in their decision to have them.

Family

Mom of 6 has hilarious answer to the question: 'Why do you have so many kids?'

People just can't believe she would have them simply because she wants to.

Unremarkable Files/Youtube

Why. So. Many?

Jenny Evans is a mom to six kids. And, yes, she knows that's a lot.

That doesn't stop people from asking her, though. The kinds of comments she gets from friends and even from complete strangers would have you thinking she hadn't actually thought this whole "six kids" thing through.

"One of the questions I get asked constantly as a mom of six is 'Why do you have so many kids?'" she says.


Surveys show that the average American thinks two or three kids is ideal. So six seems to absolutely blow people's minds, and they feel compelled — nay, entitled — to receive an explanation. Evans is sick of it.

In a hilarious video posted to her Facebook page, Evans tackles the absurd question with the, uh, thoughtfulness it deserves.

In the video, which has since gone viral, Evans feigns a moment of realization: "That's a good question. Why do I have so many kids?"

She then launches into a tirade of satirical answers she might offer well-meaning strangers who ask her about the size of her family.

At the very end of the video, Evans briefly touches on the reason she has six kids. The real reason, that is.

"It's because I like them," she says in the clip.

"We never had 'a number' or consciously decided we were going to have a big family, but simply made room for one more whenever we felt like we could," Evans told ABC News. "Having a new baby join the family and watching everyone's relationships with everyone else grow is the most amazing thing. I just never get tired of that."

Americans are actually having fewer kids overall these days, so concern about over-population and resources is wasted on questioning one individual family's choices. Besides, we shouldn't judge, shame, or question people who have lots of kids while simultaneously stigmatizing people who choose not to.

Evans' video is simply a fun reminder to live and let live. Having no kids is fine. Having six kids is fine. So is seven or eight or however many you choose to — or not to — have.

At the end of the day, it's as simple as this: How you choose to build or define your own family isn't a choice you should have to defend.

Check out the rest of Evans' hilarious responses (all of them!) in the video below:


This article originally appeared on 10.25.17