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Awkward home videos from the 80s and 90s show just how far parenting has come

"It's a miracle any of us survived."

@nostalgicallyrachel/TikTok, @mrvaughntrainor/TikTok

It was a simpler, more life-threatening time.

Parenting has changed. A lot. So many things our parents did that were considered normal in our childhood—that is, for all us millennials and Gen Xers—would simply never fly today.

This is thanks in large part to the digital age, and the countless ways to access information. Radio, magazines, television, books, online blogs, Facebook parent groups, informational podcasts, public studies…thousands of voices helping shape family dynamics and warn of potential dangers.

If there’s ever any doubt into how far we’ve come, let technology once again remind you. A trip down memory lane via TikTok might be, as the kids say, a bit cringe, but boy can it help instill a little gratitude.

On a mission to share her childhood “one home video at a time,” a woman named Rachel has an entire TikTok account dedicated to short glimpses of her younger years.

Her content is an instant nostalgic hit for those of us who grew up in the 80s or 90s. We’re talking Rainbow Brite, roller skates, Sesame Street, backpack purses when they were cool for the first time. All the feel good stuff.

And also—maybe some of the not-so-feel-good stuff. Recently, Rachel shared a video of herself as a newborn with her mom…when viewers noticed something strange in her bottle.

@nostalgicallyrachel Replying to @B Indeed, it is. 💦 #wildtimes #wesurvived #taboo #homemovie #homevideo #nostalgia #nostalgic #80s #90s #1990s #1980s #memories #family #throwback #80sbaby #90sbaby #childhood #childhoodmemories #wholesome #oklahoma #takemeback #vlog #mylife #history #vintage #retro #90skid #80skid #80saesthetic #90saesthetic #vhs #smalltown #aesthetic #growingupinthe90s #millennial #millennialtok #1986 #response #react #water #indeed #newborn #baby #mom #breastfed ♬ Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent

“I’m sorry — IS THAT WATER,” one concerned viewer asked.

Rachel followed up with , “Indeed, it is”, writing “Sugar Water for Newborns circa 1986” in the video caption.

Once upon a time, sugar water was used as a bit of a cure-all for infants, helping fight off common colds, ease bellyaches, and everything in between.

And while some studies do show that sugar water can help ease pain, and certain hospitals do use it during painful procedures, professionals still suggest against administering it at home.

For one thing, babies don’t need water until they’re six months old. They get all the hydration they need from breastmilk or formula, according to WebMd.

Second, the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee says that any foods or beverages with added sugar should be avoided “during the first two years of life,” as it is likely to replace more nourishing foods and cause nutrient deficiency, and is “linked with increased risk of overweight or obesity.”

But for many parents today, this is not new news. Which made Rachel’s video so horrifying.

“As a new mom this genuinely is making me want to cry 😭 There was so much misinformation back then. Those poor babies,” one person wrote.

Of course, it could be worse. As one person shared, “My mom gave me Mountain Dew in my bottle 😳.” Yikes.

In another video, this one captioned “parenting before the internet” and shared by dad and TikTokker Vaughn Trainor, we see another bane of modern parenting—rice cereal.

Specifically, rice cereal being fed to newborns. Experts say that solid foods should not be introduced into a baby’s diet until at least four months old, when they can hold their head and sit upright on their own, start grabbing at things and show interest in food when the parents begin eating.

In this video, however, Trainor is one month old, laid back (also a big no no!) and being spoon fed by his mom, who is heard quoting the parenting magazine that suggested heavier things be eaten this way.

@mrvaughntrainor Parenting before the internet 🤣 i turned out alright 🤣🤣 #parenting #parentinghumor #90sparenting #babiesoftiktok #viral #funnyvideos ♬ original sound - Mrvaughntrainor

Over 5,000 people commented on this one, many of whom noted how this type of diet might influence common digestive issues many adults face.

And while there could be several factors contributing to this that go beyond what we were fed as babies, it is true that millennials seem to suffer the worst when it comes to gut health.

But it’s not just problematic food choices. Rachel shared yet another home video, this one titled “Nursery Tour circa 1986,” that showed her baby self lying in a crib surrounded by pillows, stuffed animals, and, for some reason, a mirror.

@nostalgicallyrachel Nursery Tour circa 1986 👶🏻 #nursery #baby #babytok #nurserytour #home #hometour #homemovie #homevideo #nostalgia #nostalgic #80s #90s #1990s #1980s #memories #family #throwback #80sbaby #90sbaby #childhood #childhoodmemories #wholesome #oklahoma #takemeback #vlog #mylife #history #vintage #retro #90skid #80skid #80saesthetic #90saesthetic #vhs #smalltown #aesthetic #growingupinthe90s #millennial #crib #cribsafety ♬ A Gentle Sunlight - James Quinn

But it’s not just problematic food choices. Rachel shared yet another home video, this one titled “Nursery Tour circa 1986,” that showed her baby self lying in a crib surrounded by pillows, stuffed animals, and, for some reason, a mirror.

…All of which can be life threatening and lead to Sudden Unexpected Infant Death (SUID), if you ask the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Which is why this comment pretty much sums up everyone’s collective feeling:

“It’s a miracle any of us survived.”

And while we can obviously make the case for “I’m still here, so it couldn't’ have been that bad,” when you look at infant mortality statistics, which is the lowest it’s ever been worldwide, it’s hard to deny that maybe, just maybe, being more savvy about childcare could have something to do with that.

So, yes, many parents today might lean towards being more anxious by comparison. But it’s only because death is literally lurking at every corner! Yay vindication!

And as mortifying as some of these parenting behaviors might seem to us now, what doesn’t seem to change is parents wanting to raise a healthy kid, to the very best of their ability. We might have gentler, more science-backed ways to go about it, but the love remains the same.


This article originally appeared on 9.27.23

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Parenting

Mom's hot take on the concept of 'it takes a village' has people nodding in agreement

She's not wrong.

@thehindirlanefamily/TikTok

The village comes with a price tag.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” First it was an African proverb, then a mainstream phrase to convey the indisputable fact that raising a child is no solo job. But now, in a time where mothers are left by and large without a community (save for maybe the countless online parent groups), that expression seems synonymous with a bygone era.

But the thing is—while the times have changed, the necessity of support has not. Which leaves many frustrated mothers wondering where to turn.

One mom is going viral for bluntly telling it like it is: The village is still there, but now it comes at a price.

The woman, Chancè Hindirlane, had stitched another mom’s TikTok video urging others to stop telling moms “it takes a village” when they essentially don’t have one.

Hindirlane responded by saying, “What we need to do is start telling mothers that the village is no longer free.” Therefore, part of the family planning process needs to go into building one.

“We need to start telling future mothers to financially plan ahead for their village. Plan ahead for a nanny. Plan ahead for a housekeeper. Plan ahead for a meal prep. Plan ahead for a postpartum care nurse,” she says.

And it’s not just support staff women should be thinking ahead about. They should also be taught from a young age to look for partners who are willing to take on the responsibilities of parenthood and able to divide labor equally.

“We need to start telling future mothers to pick their partner wisely. Not only pick a man who wants kids, but pick a man who also wants to be a father. We need to start telling them to talk about the division of labor super early on in their relationship.”

No, moms are not meant to do it all alone. But in order to get the help they need, Hindirlane attests, they’ll have to adapt with the times. This is perhaps a little daunting, given how expensive the cost of living already is, but it’s still valuable insight and hard to argue with.

Bottom line: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or a free village. So plan accordingly.

Hindirlane’s words struck a chord with hundreds of viewers, many of whom had also witnessed this shift.

“I was a nanny/household manager and it really taught me how insane it is to expect a mom to do it alone,” shared one person.

"'The village is not free’ took my breath away. Nothing is truer. Had I known sooner, I absolutely would’ve planned differently,” added another.

One viewer suggested that couples should “cut back on wedding expenses” and instead get counseling as partners for financial planning. Not only is that a solid point but it also illuminates the collective shift away from certain traditions in favor of decisions that feel more practical, partially out of new ways of thinking and partially out of pure necessity.

Of course, one cannot always simply plan their way out of a faulty financial system. Childcare can range from $5,357 to $17,171, depending on the child’s age and where a family lives, despite childcare staff receiving some of the lowest wages in the country.

With each child accounting for 8% and 19.3% of a family’s income, many are simply priced out and many mothers are forced to stay at home because they’d only be working to afford childcare. Clearly not a winning scenario.

While what should be done systematically to improve these conditions for families is a whole ‘nother conversation, it is a good reminder that a thought-out plan is never a bad thing.

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Family

Mom's new email signature has parents everywhere applauding her honesty about expectations

"I'm still good at my job. I'm still a professional. I'm also a mom of four kids and this is reality in America."

Meg St-Esprit|Twitter and Ketut Subiyanto|Canva

Mom creates relatable email signature for parents.

Childcare in America has been an issue since well before most of us were born, and it continues to be a struggle for parents. Daycare costs are rough—at one point in time, I paid $276 a week for one child to attend a daycare center, and that's not even the highest price I was quoted. But not everyone can afford the cost of childcare, and when you have multiple children who all need adult supervision, the cost can become astronomical.

The cost of childcare can cause some parents to make the decision to stay home while the other works if the family can survive on one income. In other instances, parents may be working from home while also juggling full-time parenting responsibilities. For parents in the latter category, one mom's new email signature is serving as a reminder that childcare is expensive and school is out for the summer.

Meg St-Esprit was in the process of looking up babysitters and summer camps and realizing how unaffordable it was to try to accommodate four children when a "snippy" email came through, according to Today.com.

"In the moment, I was like: 'This is how it's going to be — people are going to need to know that this is how it's going to be for the next couple months,'" St-Esprit, told Today.com. "I'm still good at my job. I'm still a professional. I'm also a mom of four kids and this is reality in America."

St-Esprit is a freelance journalist based out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, so while her job may allow her to have some flexibility, people still expect prompt replies to correspondence. This mom decided that instead of adding additional stress to her plate, she would be brutally honest in her email signature. Honestly, the signature is pretty darn accurate. There are plenty of families in similar situations that probably wish they could change their email signature to something similar.

The signature reads, "Please note I may be slower to respond to email in the months of June, July and August due to the United States' inability to provide affordable childcare for working mothers."

St-Esprit shared a photo of her email signature to Twitter where she received a lot of support from other parents. She wrote about the benefits of universal subsidized childcare for the United States, saying, "The US is the only developed nation w/o subsidized childcare. Adding it would increase our GDP over 1 trillion dollars. Not a handout — it’s a smart decision when facing a recession and labor shortages."

While states do offer childcare assistance for lower-income families, the threshold can unintentionally cause parents to make difficult decisions to keep their childcare subsidy. I recall a phone call made by a parent who attended my child's daycare. The mom was explaining to her partner that she was given a promotion, but after speaking to the daycare director, if she took the raise, she would lose her subsidy and they would suddenly be responsible for paying nearly $900 a week. My eyes bulged at the thought, and as she collected her twins from my son's classroom, she pondered accepting the position but asking to keep the same pay because the new cost of daycare would essentially be a pay cut.

I have no idea what the outcome was in that situation because I was just a bystander, but the conversation stuck with me. It partly stuck out because I could've benefitted from a subsidy and partly because many middle-class families struggle with affording childcare but don't qualify for any sort of program to assist.

In a different tweet, St-Esprit also mentions this in-between experience.

"Today I went to my 4yo’s PreK Counts classroom for yoga with a special grownup. This is the only subsidized childcare my children have been able to access as middle earners and it’s been a GIFT. It also reduces educational costs long term because of the early education benefits," the freelance journalist wrote.

Surprisingly, through St-Esprit's frustrated signature, she found solidarity in the email responses she's received.

"I work with a lot of clients, so I thought maybe I should delete it," St-Esprit told Today.com. "Then people started to reply to it, writing: 'Side note: I love this.' 'Side note: Oh my gosh, this.'"

Obviously, there's something a little wonky with America's way of handling childcare. It's especially noticeable in comparison with other industrialized countries that have found a way to not only offer extended paid parental leave but also provide subsidized childcare for working parents.

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Community

A small town was about to lose its only daycare. The community voted to raise taxes to save it.

"I was a little shocked because I had made myself think that it wasn't going to pass so that I wasn't super disappointed at the end."

www.youtube.com

Warren, Minnesota was in danger of losing its only daycare, so the community raised taxes.

Child care is essential for the majority of parents out there. Over the past couple of decades, it has become a necessity for both parents to work in many American households. When no one is home to care for the children, parents rely on daycares to fill the gap. But what happens when the only daycare in town is about to close?

In a small Minnesota town, that question became reality because there weren't enough workers and the cost to run the Little Sprouts Learning Center was high. Families, including the board members of Little Sprouts, were worried they'd have to relocate if the center was forced to close. They needed a radical plan.

Warren, Minnesota, where the childcare center is located, was in desperate need of a miracle since they're located in a childcare desert. A CBS Saturday Morning segment about the center mentioned that 51% of Americans live in childcare deserts, "where there are more children than available daycare providers."

"We really didn't know what we would do. We don't have any family who live here. What I have found over my experience with the daycare is that once they close, they're very hard to get back open," parent Kelly Pahlen told CBS.

So, what was the daycare board's radical idea to not only keep the daycare open but make it bigger and better? They took a chance on their community and asked to raise the taxes just a little to keep the only childcare center in business. The board members knew the risk and braced for the town to refuse that half-cent increase to their sales tax.

Much to their delight, they were pleasantly surprised by the results of the vote. The measure to raise the sales tax passed by 15 votes, and that provided enough money for the daycare to build a new, bigger center to care for more children in town. This is a prime example of what community support can look like, and it could catch on in other areas when people see how successful this town was.

Watch the full video below:

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