upworthy

child safety

Education

Swim coach's reaction when toddler tries to kiss him is a masterclass in teaching boundaries

People are impressed with how expertly and professionally he handled it.

Representative photo credit: Canva

It takes a village, as they say.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they're good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child's life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother's face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what's okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—"Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!" the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, "No, no kissy. No kissy 'cause I'm coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. "Okay, hey! High five!" he said, while holding up his hand. "High five 'cause we're all done!" She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Watch:


Teaching boundaries to children
byu/alucard_axel inMadeMeSmile


His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

"So sweet... I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it's so cute but you do have to tell them "no" because it's an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!"

"On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses."

"The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example."

"It sounds like he's got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it's important to gently guide them in understanding what's suitable."

Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New GirlGiphy

"I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole."

"The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!"

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it's frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it's helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn't all fall on the parents.

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

This article originally appeared in January

From Your Site Articles
teaching moment
Family

Every parent thinks they'd never forget their child in the car. But 'never' still happens.

Tragic hot car deaths are preventable, but only when parents acknowledge they are fallible.

Ad Council/YouTube

No one thinks it could happen to them until it does.

I never thought it was possible for me to forget my child in the car—until the day I did.

I was a super conscientious mom, reading all the parenting books, cautious about health and safety, 100% committed to my children's well-being. I held my babies close, figuratively and literally, wearing them in slings and wraps much of the time and taking them everywhere. They were like physical extensions of me–how could I possibly forget them?

Here's how. My oldest was nearly 4 years old when I had my second child. One day, when the baby was a few weeks old, our family was out running errands. Everyone was hungry, but I needed to grab something from Michaels craft store, so I dropped my husband and 4-year-old at home first to start dinner. The baby was sleeping in her car seat and I decided to take her with me in case she woke up and needed to breastfeed.

Somewhere between our driveway and Michaels, I completely blanked that I had a baby in the car.

I hadn't been in a car with a child for several years without any sound—my oldest was always talking or singing or something. It was never quiet in the car unless I was alone, so my sleep-deprived brain interpreted the silence of my sleeping baby in the car as me being alone.

I got to the Michaels' parking lot, got out of the car, locked the door and went inside. I grabbed a shopping cart and headed to the back of the store to pick up whatever I needed. When I flipped down the plastic seat on the cart where you put a kid, it triggered the awareness that I didn't have a child with me and everything stopped. Even 19 years later, I can perfectly picture the moment it dawned on me what I'd done when the world went into slow-motion as I ran through the store and out to my car.

There she was, blissfully snoozing away in her car seat, totally unaware of my panic. It was a cool evening and she was only in there for 5 minutes, tops, but it was an eye-opening and humbling moment. If a brain blip like that could happen to me, it could happen to anyone.

That's the idea behind a new heatstroke prevention PSA from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and the Ad Council called "Never Happens." The message is powerful, as there are so many things we swear we would never do as parents that we end up doing. Some of those things are conscious choices as we realize parenting is far more complex than we thought, but some are a result of being fallible humans with imperfect human brains. The key is recognizing that fact so you don't fall into the trap of "I would never."

Watch:

Pediatric vehicular heatstroke is the leading cause of non-crash, vehicle-related fatalities for children 14 and younger. No parent thinks they could possibly forget their child in a car, but that's how more than half of car heatstroke deaths in children occur. According to the NHTSA, heatstroke statistics can be split into three main scenarios:

- 52.7% of hot car deaths happened because a child was forgotten in a hot car

- 25.8% of deaths happened because a child gained access to an unlocked car and became trapped

- 20.1% of deaths happened because a child was left behind in a vehicle, and the parent/caregiver did not realize how quickly internal car temperatures can rise.

A child's body temperature rises three to five times faster than an adult's, so we can't use ourselves as a gauge of how long is too long to be in an enclosed car.

“The inside of a vehicle is never a safe place for a child to play or be left alone, because hot cars can be deadly for children in a matter of minutes," Sophie Shulman, NHTSA’s Deputy Administrator, tells Upworthy. "No one wants to think they could forget their child, but the facts show it can happen to anyone. Our ‘Stop. Look. Lock.’ campaign educates and empowers parents and caregivers to make simple changes to prevent unimaginable tragedies."

Some of those simple changes might include putting your purse or wallet in the back seat, keeping an item like a teddy bear in the backseat and placing it in the front seat whenever you have a child in the car with you. Both of those simple visual cues could be life-saving. And always lock your vehicle after getting everyone out of it so a child can't get in.

Never think it could never happen. Then, take proactive steps to ensure that it never does.

From Your Site Articles
child safety
Family

Helicopter's thermal imaging helps save a young autistic girl lost in a Florida swamp

“I just love how the deputy greeted her. What a beautiful ending. You guys are the best!”

via WPBF 25/YouTube

A deputy locates a missing girl in a Florida swamp.

A 5-year-old with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) wandered off into a swamp near Tampa, Florida, around 5:00 pm on Monday, February 26. The good news is that the girl was saved in about an hour thanks to the work of some brave sheriff’s officers and their incredible thermal technology.

The girl wandered from her home and was quickly reported missing by her family to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Department. The sheriff quickly dispatched its aviation unit that used thermal imaging technology to scan the nearby swamplands to try to find the young girl before nightfall.

Thermal imaging technology captures images based on the heat emitted by objects, allowing us to see temperature differences even in the dark, making it super handy for night vision and heat detection. The thermal technology helped the officers quickly identify the girl from high above the trees.

"Hey, I think I got her in the woods," a deputy in the helicopter told deputies on the ground. "She might be able to hear her name if you call her. She might be about 80 feet in front of you."

When the deputy on the ground spotted the girl, she lifted her arms and walked toward him. He picked her up and brought her to safety. "Let's get you out of the water. I'll get you to everyone," he told her as they walked out of the swamp.

The sheriff’s department said it was all in a day’s work for the deputies. "Their quick action saved the day, turning a potential tragedy into a hopeful reunion," it said in a statement. "Their dedication shows what service and protection are all about here at the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office."

The Sheriff’s Office shared a video of the rescue on its Facebook page and people loved how the deputy greeted the girl, who must have been extremely scared. “I love how happy they were when they found her—they made it seem normal and a good time, keeping her calm. Well done!” Jan Murray wrote. “I just love how the deputy greeted her. What a beautiful ending. You guys are the best!” Sandy Schlabaugh-Kmentt added.

florida, autism, thermal imaging

Young girl lost in a swamp safely in police custody.

via WPBF 25/YouTube

Crime and safety analyst explained how the thermal technology works to News4Jax in Jacksonville, Florida. “It is a piece of equipment that actually will lock on to that heat signature,” Hackney said. “So no matter where that helicopter is moving, trying to orbit a certain area to look for the missing child, once it picks up on that heat signature and identifies it, it doesn’t lose it. So the units on the ground are able to move in like you saw.”

It is common for children with ASD to wander off from their caregivers or secure locations. The behavior is known as eloping. Children with ASD elope for a wide variety of reasons. Loud, frantic situations such as a child’s birthday party may be too stressful for a child with ASD, so they may leave the event unaccompanied to get to somewhere more calm. Others may elope because they enjoy the thrill of being chased by a parent or caregiver, even though it may unknowingly place them into a dangerous situation.

From Your Site Articles
police
Family

Mom passionately defends why she lets her kid climb up the slide

She will fight you on the playground.

via Ana Klipper/Unsplash and GarbageAlly/TikTok

Emme Nye explains her controversail playground opinion.

Self-described “degenerate mom” Emme Nye took a bold stance on TkTok recently that a lot of parents disagreed with. She admits she’s “that annoying mom" who has no problem with her daughter climbing up the slide.

“I’m so passionate about it, I will get in verbal disagreements at the park with parents about why,” Nye, 29, shared in a TikTok video.

Nye’s stance violates most park rules, plus it can be seen as rude. When a child is climbing up the slide, the kids at the top have to wait until they get off to slide down. Further, the kid climbing up the slide can get hurt if a kid coming down doesn’t see them.

Many commenters thought Nye’s confidence in bucking up the rules of playground decency comes off as entitled.

@garbagegally

AITA? idc #momsoftiktok #parkmom

"’I am encouraging them not to follow the rules.’ Literally, all I hear," Livforthehair wrote in the comments. "Teacher who has seen kids thrown from high on the slide while climbing up from being hit by a kid coming down that knocked them off. Ambulance call," Kryssalon added.

After Nye’s video went viral, she made a follow-up where she calmly described the benefits of climbing up the slide. Nye lives in Idaho and has a background in early education.

@garbagegally

Replying to @itsmespears reason i let my kid climb the slide at the park #momsoftiktok #parkmom #preschool #childdevelopment

In the follow-up, she shared 3 reasons why she thinks that it’s great for kids to climb up the slide, even if other children are using it as well.

“It's just a lot more engaging for their little bodies and muscles to climb up the slide versus like walking up a flight of stairs with a handlebar — which often most slides are on a play set,” Nye said. “And they're essentially crawling up the slide, right? And anytime that you're crawling, you're having that cross-brain connection, which is so good for their little developing minds.”

She also touted the socio-emotional benefits of climbing up the slide.

Depending on the kid, the slide and the skill set, they're often not going to make it their first attempt,” Nye continued. “They're sliding back down. They don't feel discouraged, and they're going to try and try again until they finally get to the top. The confidence that they build from trying again and again and finally succeeding again is so good for the little developing minds.”

Finally, she believes that when one kid climbs up the slide, it provides a lot of opportunities for social development.

“It forces communication and problem-solving skills to look out for one another in these kinds of unwritten rules of society,” Nye said. “There's just a lot more to offer.”

Nye’s posts made a great point about how important it is for us to occasionally reconsider conventional wisdom and see that sometimes, there are more benefits to breaking the rules than following them. “There's just a lot more to offer developmentally than climbing up a staircase, waiting in line, and going down a slide,” she concluded her video. “It's just better for them.”

From Your Site Articles
moms
Trending Stories