cats

Cats vs. dogs, a duel as old as time. The truth is it’s perfectly okay to love both furry four-legged creatures, as they each bring their own quirky, lovable eccentricities to this world. (It’s like having to choose between cake or pie. Delicious either way, so choose both!) Dogs’ and cats’ personalities and traits vary by breed, of course, and no two animals are alike. But our love for them and who we’re drawn to can often say a lot about us.

  A cat and dog cuddle on the floor.  Photo by Louis-Philippe Poitras on Unsplash  

As a dog person, I’ve always been curious as to what traits “dog moms” often have. Many over the years have concluded that the pet you love having in your home tends to fit who you are. Dogs are usually loyal, eager, and like structure, just like their people. Cats, the conventional wisdom goes, are more independent, mysterious, and introverted—often like cat owners. (Of course this is a broad assessment, and plenty of dog owners want to be left alone, while cat peeps dance on tabletops. At least one!)

But more interestingly, a recent article suggests that the animal you pick can say a lot about your attachment style. To understand the context, Attachment Theory was coined by psychiatrist John Bowlby, who noted that our early caregivers often shape how we attach to each other throughout our lives. The bond between ourselves and our primary caregiver (often our moms) in the first two years of life can deeply affect how we interact and develop social bonds as adults.

Psychologist Mary Ainsworth took this research even further. In what’s called the Strange Situation, she actually studied children and their interaction with their caregivers and noted the difference between secure and insecure attachment styles.

  - Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation experiment.  www.youtube.com  

Though many researchers studied the concept, years later, psychiatrist Amir Levine and his colleague, psychologist Rachel Heller, helped build the popular notion that our attachment styles greatly affect our romantic relationships in adulthood. In their book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find—and Keep Love , they explore this theory thoroughly.

Columbia Psychiatry states, “The authors popularized attachment theory—the idea that early emotional bonds with our caregivers impacts our future relationships—exploring three distinct attachment styles that affect the way we deal with relationship conflicts, our feelings toward sex, and our expectations of romantic intimacy.”

They go on to explain, in short, “People with anxious attachment styles tend to be insecure about their relationships, fear abandonment, and often seek validation. Those with avoidant styles have a prevailing need to feel loved but are largely emotionally unavailable in their relationships. And a securely attached person is comfortable giving and receiving love, can trust others and be trusted, and gets close to others with relative ease.”

  - Animated video about attachment theory  www.youtube.com  

Which brings us back to cats. In the article “Are You a Cat Person or a Dog Person? Here’s What Psychology Has to Say” for VeryWell Mind by journalist Wendy Rose Gould, she notes that “rather than our fave pet simply mirroring our personality, these preferences and relationships can give us insight into who we are, how we operate, and how we interact with the world. For example, it might tell us something about our attachment styles, whether we’re outgoing or introverted, or even how we handle independence and companionship.”

She cites psychologist Michael Kane, PsyD, who shares, “Cat enthusiasts [may] appreciate the less demanding and more autonomous companionship offered by cats. Feline indulgers enjoy the companionship of cats as they prefer connections that are meaningful but not as demanding.” (Dog lovers, on the other hand, [may] enjoy close and reciprocal relationships with dogs as they resemble secure, dependent bonds that provide emotional comfort, stability, and security.)

  A bored cat files its nails.  Giphy  

(To put this in Attachment Theory terms, cat people might lean avoidant, while dog people a tad more anxious in their relationship styles.)

Gould goes on to describe two other cat people "tells." One is their (possible) preference for introversion, which is really just how we give and receive energy. Again quoting Dr. Kane, “Cat people have shown to be more open to experience and scored higher on introversion, which suggests that they appreciate more solitude and less social interaction.”

Lastly, Gould shares that cat owners tend to be more spontaneous than their structured dog-loving counterparts. “Cat owners may be more adaptable and comfortable with a looser, go-with-the-flow approach, as felines tend to be more independent and require less regimented care. This could reflect a person’s comfort level with spontaneity, flexibility, and self-guided motivation in their daily life.”

Best to let this Reddit comment from the thread "What is the difference between a cat person and a dog person?" sum it up: " Dog people wish their dogs were people. Cat people wish they were cats."