upworthy

cancer

Gina Chick shares her grief journey on The Imperfect Podcast.

Losing a child is every parent's worst fear, one that most of us don't dare try to imagine. But it happens, and there's wisdom in listening to those who have experienced it rather than avoiding the subject altogether. Everyone's grief journey is different, of course, and bereaved parents may be at any phase of that journey at any given time, but it's enlightening to hear from someone who's traveled far enough down their own path of grief to be able to reflect and put into words how it's affected them.

Australian author and Alone Australia winner Gina Chick is one of those people. She lost her three-year-old daughter Blaise to cancer 10 years ago and shares what coming to terms with that loss has been like for her.

"Having and losing Blaise has given me the resilience to dance with life in ways I never would have imagined," Chick wrote for ABC Australia in 2023. "Dancing with grief over the past decade has taught me how to be with what is, rather than what I wish could be. Or should be. It's taught me to turn a challenge inside out to find the blessing in the lesson."

Chick, who spent 67 days alone in the Tasmanian wilderness to win on Alone, was a guest onThe Imperfect Podcast.. When the host asked her what it's like to lose a child, her response was just beautiful.

"I can't say what it's like to lose a child, but I can say what it's like to lose mine," she said. "The actual losing part, death, is such a doorway. And a body without someone in it is like, oh, like I understood life by having my daughter not have it in her body anymore."

"It was such a visceral and profound experience. To be able to midwife her out of life with the same presence that we brought her in was beautiful," she said. "And I said yes. I said yes to the grief. I said yes to that journey. And it meant that whenever I was grieving, I just went with it."

Chick explains that she has expressed her grief in every possible way, which is what makes her able to talk about it so calmly now.

"I can honestly say that having her was the greatest gift of my life, and losing her was the second greatest gift of my life," she said. "Because of her and because of losing her, I am stronger, I am calmer, I have more presence, I have more ability to hold people, I have more compassion. I'm a much better human. And the gift of her leaving is a gift that I walk around with every day, so every person who I touch or speak to, that's her. So, it's like her gift is me in the world, or me in the world is her gift."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

People were deeply moved by her answer.

"I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything this profound and beautiful and brutal and uplifting."

"Beautiful words ❤️ I feel this very much! I lost my angel daughter 14 months ago."

"I'm stunned by this post that I just found while randomly scrolling. Your words have spoken what I have felt in my heart, but can rarely verbalise accurately. Kissing my son's forehead while he laid on the mortuary bench, I've never shaken off the knowing that even though I was holding and kissing him, *he* wasn't there. Also, I rarely say this, but perversely, his loss was the greatest gift I've ever had. His loss taught me about love and humanity in a way that I would never have learned in an entire lifetime of living. Thank you for this wonderful post. You've touched the heart of a stranger in Ireland with this, and I am grateful to you for it."

"Wow. this woman is the embodiment of what it is to be able to appreciate the depth of tragedy, sit with it, process it, and come out on the other side with having your understanding transformed without your heart being hardened. It's such a rare thing to be able to witness - thank you for sharing!"

grief, death, loss, gina chick, aloneGrieving the loss of a loved one is uniquely personal.Photo credit: Canva

Many people who have lost children or other close loved ones shared that Chick's words brought them a sense of peace. But the writer had more to say, adding additional commentary to her video after thousands of people responded.

"I’d like to add something, for anyone who is going through deep loss and has been touched or triggered by this reel…

Losing someone who is woven into your cells, your being, your entire life, is something I would never want anyone to feel. And yet, so many of us are here. Feeling the unfeelable. Accepting the unacceptable. Thinking the unthinkable. Bearing the unbearable.

I do not for one second think or say my journey is like anyone else’s. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. A heart print. We all do the best we can with what we have. Sometimes hopeless, sometimes numb, sometimes rage full, sometimes graceful, mostly graceless and clumsy and awful. Often all of these in one day. Hanging on by our fingernails. One day at a time.

In this clip I’ve spoken only about my journey and lessons. I don’t presume for a heartbeat that anyone else will have the same response. Grief has its own mystery.

For me, part of my journey has been a gradual acceptance of the gifts of grief. Grief is the flipside of the coin of love. The size of our grief is the size of our love for that which has been lost. That’s how big the pain is.

grief, love, grieving losing a loved one, losing a child, gina chick"Grief is the flipside of the coin of love." - Gina ChickPhoto credit: Canva

Leaning into it has brought me solace. For others it may be the opposite. Whatever gets us through, that’s all that matters.

We live in a culture that has lost its rituals and ceremonies. We don’t have a roadmap for grief.
People don’t know what to say to us. We can feel alone and lost.

I send deepest love and respect to anyone on this path of raw pure pain and loss, however it looks. I can’t know your individual flavour of pain, but I send you love, and I say I see you, and this sucks so hard, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you find some peace, somewhere, in the storm.

The gifts I’ve discovered here for myself are wrought in blood and anguish. I’ve collected them slowly, and they give me stepping stones through my grief. But I would be horrified to think anyone would compare their own process and think this is right or wrong. It’s just my way. Every path is the right one, because it’s ours.

grief, grief journey, path of healing, losing a loved one, gina chick"Every path is the right one, because it’s ours." - Gina ChickPhoto credit: Canva

I urge everyone on this thread to treat each other’s paths and hearts with exquisite kindness. The pain of losing someone who is part of you is indescribable.

Let’s hold each other with tenderness and compassion, and be each other’s lights in the dark."

You can find more of Gina's grief journey in her book, We Are the Stars: A misfit's story of love, connection and the glorious power of letting go on her website ginachick.com. And you can find her full interview on The Imperfect Podcast.

Joy

13-year-old with terminal brain cancer designated honorary Secret Service agent at Joint Session of Congress

Devarjaye "DJ" Daniel was diagnosed with anaplastic ependymoma grade III in 2018.

C-PSAN

Devarjaye "DJ" Daniel designated honorary Secret Service agent.

One moment from President Donald Trump's address to a Joint Session of Congress night stole the show: when he designated Devarjaye "DJ" Daniel, a 13-year-old diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in 2018, as an honorary Secret Service agent. DJ's passion for law enforcement inspired a personal mission that has seen him designated as an honorary officer over 900 times by police departments across the United States since 2022.

"Joining us in the gallery tonight is a young man who truly loves our police," Trump said, as cameras panned to Daniel who was lifted up by his father, Theodis Daniel. "But in 2018, DJ was diagnosed with brain cancer. The doctors gave him 5 months at most to live. That was more than 6 years ago. Since that time, DJ and his dad have been on a quest to make his dream come true.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

President Trump then gave DJ the surprise of his lifetime--he announced that he making him an honorary Secret Service agent. “And tonight, DJ, we're going to do you the biggest honor of them all. I am asking our new Secret Service director, Sean Curran, to officially make you an agent of the United States.”

It was a complete surprise to DJ, whose eyes became wide and shock spread across his face as he was presented with a badge by Curran. His father once again lifted him up to cheers and chants of "DJ! DJ! DJ!", and DJ reached over to hug Curran.

Daniel was diagnosed with anaplastic ependymoma grade III in 2018, a disease that causes cancerous tumors and affects the central nervous system. According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), an ependymoma is a primary central nervous system (CNS) tumor that begins in the brain or spinal cord. They are grouped in three different grades (grade I, II, or III), with grade III being the most serious. "Grade 3 ependymomas are malignant (cancerous). This means they are fast-growing tumors. They occur most often in the brain but can also occur in the spine," according to the NCI. There is currently no cure.

In an interview with the White House Instagram account, DJ opened up about the night he was diagnosed with cancer. "You want to know the craziest part? My mom bathed me and my brothers all together, and out of nowhere I locked up. My dad was calling my name and I started going to the slow thing and said, 'Stop playing with me'. I'm not gonna lie, I started to act slow. And as soon as he said that we (were) speeding all the way, running lights going to the hospital. And then next thing you know I was seizing on the table."

He continued, "They said, 'We've got to go into his brain tonight.' Ever since then, I (have) had 13 brain surgeries. That's how many times my personality has changed. And that's something that you don't hear from a terminally ill child that has five months to live. I'm gonna keep going until my gas tank runs out. And that's when God calls you home. You never know when God will call you home. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my dad. I know he's pretty proud of me, and I'm pretty proud of him too."

DJ and his father appeared on Fox News' 'Fox & Friends' on Wednesday, March 5, where he shared more about his surprise honor. "I was not expecting it," he said in the interview. "Nobody even told us, even though that they knew. Really and truly, I wasn't expecting it to be like that, to be honest."

Singers Marirose Powell and Stevie Nicks.

The final performance of singer Marirose Powell has people welling up all over TikTok because of the soulful way she sang “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac while in hospice care. Powell performed as Stevie Nicks in a Fleetwood Mac cover band for over twenty years, so the song was a major part of her life.

A week before she died from cancer, some friends showed up at her home and asked what she would like to sing. "And she said, 'I want to sing ‘Landslide.' And so she sang ‘Landslide’ one last time," Powell’s daughter-in-law, Sam Xenos, who posted the video on TikTok, told People.

In the video, Powell grabs the railing over the medical bed as she sings a song about the inevitability of the passing of time. The song had to have taken on an even greater meaning as Powell was in the final days of her life. “I’ve been afraid of changing because I built my world around you,” Powell sings. “Time makes you bolder, and even children get old and I’m getting older, too.”

“My mother-in-law performed as Stevie Nicks for decades,” Xenos wrote in a video overlay. “This was her final performance before she passed the following week.” In the caption, she added there wasn't “a day that goes by that I wish we’d had more time with her. She was truly the only person I’ve ever known to leave people better than she found them. Until we can be together again, mama.”

Powell passed away on April 10, 2024, at 62.

@samxenos

there isnt a day that goes by that i wish we’d had more time with her. she was truly the only person i’ve ever known to leave people better than she found them. until we can be together again mama…

In her obituary, she is remembered for her “infectious smile” that “guaranteed to brighten anyone’s day and she was known for her incredibly kind soul and generous heart. She had the beautiful ability to leave all those she touched better than she found them.”

In addition to performing as Steve Nicks, Powell released 3 solo albums and worked as an ER nurse. As a lifelong musician, she would probably be more than pleased to learn that her final performance has touched many people.



"I hope Stevie Nick sees this. She would be proud to know that your mom sung her songs for decades,and her choice of this song was heartfelt," one commenter wrote. "I’m sobbing. God bless you and your family. Your mom is beautiful," another added.

"That might be the most touching performance of ‘Landslide’ to ever exist," a commenter wrote.

Xenos and her husband, Powell's son, are overjoyed that the video has gone viral. At first, she was afraid of how her husband would react to the clip being posted on TikTok. "I remember calling my husband nervous because he didn’t know I posted it," Xenos told Upworthy. "He was over the moon after reading the comments and seeing people feel her genuine soul from that small clip. He asked me to post more videos of her and they have generated a phenomenal response. She was the most giving and generous person. I would tell her to post her music and she was worried no one would care. I’m so honored to have proved her wrong on that fact."

Nicks says she wrote “Landslide” in Aspen, Colorado, at 27. "I did already feel old in a lot of ways," Nicks told The New York Times. "I'd been working as a waitress and a cleaning lady for years. I was tired."

She was also having a hard time in her relationship with Fleetwood Mac guitarist Lindsey Buckingham. She composed the song while looking out her window in the snow-covered Aspen mountains. "And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills / Til the landslide brought me down."

Here is a full performance of “Landslide” that Powell gave in 2016 at the Prospect Theater in Modesto, California. Jamie Byous joins her on guitar.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

Community

Teen with Down syndrome visits mother's grave to tell her he graduated high school

"I know you'd be so proud of me and happy. I love you so much."

RM Videos/YouTube

Paul Marshall Jr. visits his mom LaTonya's grave following high school graduation.

When Paul Marshall Jr., a teenager with Down syndrome, graduated from Haughton High School in Haughton, Louisiana in 2020, there was one person on his mind–his mom Latonya. Latonya passed away in 2010 following a battle with cancer when he was just 9 years old. And a resurfaced clip of Paul Jr. visiting her grave following his graduation ceremony to tell her his good news is once again going viral and bringing tears to viewers eyes.

In the video, Paul Jr. is seen walking up to his mom's grave while holding a bouquet of flowers. "Oh Mommy, I have something to say," he says. "I did it. I did it. I graduated today and I know you're so proud of me and happy. I love you so much." He walks to his mom's headstone and places the flowers in front of it before kissing his hand and placing it on the grave.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In an interview with KSLA, His father, Paul Marshall Sr., shared more about the video. "A week before he said, I want to go by mom’s grave and take some flowers," he said. He went on to share how much this day would have meant to LaTonya. "She always wanted the best for Paul Jr. Her last dying words were, ‘I just want to see Paul Jr. graduate'," he said.

Paul Jr. told the news station more about his graduation day. "I’ll miss high school and I’m very sad about it," he said. "God has my mom. And my grandmother will take care of my mom."

His graduation was not guaranteed. "Paul Jr. was born with one functioning kidney and a defective heart," his father shared. Less than a year before graduation, he needed to have heart surgery to have a new hear valve put in. And a few months later, he needed to have a kidney transplant. His donor? Paul Sr. Together, they underwent a grueling 8 hours of surgery.

"We’ve learned how to endure," his father said. "Paul Jr. could be hospitalized for 5 days, and on the 6th day, he’s out and laughing. If you’re having a bad day, or going through something, Paul Jr. is the person you want to be around and talking to that day."

LoveValentines Day Love GIF by Dave GamezGiphy

Their touching story garnered lots of emotional responses from viewers. "This is so sad and so sweet. It sucks losing your parents. It's like before time and after time, your life just isn't the same," one wrote. Another shared, "Holy shit that destroyed me. We’re all proud of you, but her most of all." And another added, "These sappy videos never get me but damn this one hit me in the feels and the tears are rolling. My mom died exactly 7 days after I graduated and she worked so hard to get me there. Really wish she could see me now. Losing a parent so young is hard and I can’t imagine losing them when you also have disabilities. Very strong for him and his support system to get him there. I know she would have been proud and it would have been one of the best days of her life seeing him graduate."