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boomer parents

Boomer parents who don't like to travel, but say they do.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach.

A Redditor asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating. The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.



Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millenials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."


person using laptop attach to vehicle near green leaf plant during daytime Photo by Brina Blum on Unsplash

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"



3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."


man and woman sitting on blue sofa Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."



6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."


A man in a hard hat inspects an electrical boxman in brown and white plaid dress shirt and yellow hard hat holding black and orange Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."



9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."


A man stands over an open hood of a green carman in blue top fixing green car during daytime Photo by Elvis Bekmanis on Unsplash

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."



12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."


Three people with umbrellas walk in the rainselective color photography of three person holding umbrellas under the rain Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

This story originally appeared in January.

"Lazy parenting" might not sound like a great approach, but it has its benefits.

Gen Xers and millennials experienced firsthand how damaging the often negligent parenting style of their boomer parents could be. That, combined with the exhausting surplus of parenting information available nowadays (particularly then many, many way in which you could secretly be SETTING YOUR KID UP FOR FAILURE) and it’s no wonder why so many modern day parents feel the need be hypervigilant in protecting their kids.

But this well-meaning intention easily turns into helicopter parenting, which also doesn’t truly help kids out in the long run—and it doesn’t feel great for parents, either.

Which is what prompted Leah Ova, a WFH mom of four, to make a now-viral video advocating for a bit more of what she calls “lazy parenting.”


In the clip, which has now been viewed over 100,000 times on TikTok, Ova shared an anecdote of her getting praise for having “independent kids.”

“We recently had friends visit. One of their kids is ... a year older than my oldest. And my friend was like, ‘I'm doing something wrong,’” she recalled. “I'm like, ‘What are you doing wrong?’ She's like, ‘Your kids are so independent. They go make themselves food. They grab a snack. They like, smear their own bagel.’”

Apparently at her friend’s house, this would not be a normal scenario.

“Her son [would be] like, ‘I want breakfast.’ And basically if she didn't make him a bagel, he ... couldn't have a bagel.”

Ova’s solution to this brekkie conundrum? “Just be lazier.”


@leahova Kids love to feel independent, as long as they know you'll be there if they need you #parenting #lazy ♬ original sound - Leahova


What is “Lazy Parenting"?”

Ova went on to explain, “What is the expression like the best form of parenting is high attentiveness, but low interference? Is that a thing? I think that's a thing. Be around, be there if they need you. But just be like, ‘Honey, I'm literally having a coffee right now. You can get it yourself.’”

Ova added that this is a boundary she has had to put in place more than once in her own household, recalling that often when one of her kids has a friend over, they will ask for a snack like apples, and ask her point blank “are you not gonna cut my apple?”

“And I’m like, ‘Do you not know how to eat an apple when it's not cut?’” Talk about a mom mic drop.

“You can always tell the kids whose parents are like literally doing everything for them. And I want everyone to know you can be lazier. Honestly, it probably makes your kids better. You need to be a lazier parent.”

Down in the comments, other parents showed their full support for this approach.

“That’s not lazy parenting, it’s raising capable humans!🥰” one person wrote, while another said, “My mom's favorite saying: ‘I raised you to leave me.’”

Of course, some people admitted that the patience required for it is very challenging.

One viewer said, “I struggle so hard with this bc they are literally so slow to do EVERYTHING. It's torture 😭.”

Lazy Parenting vs Gentle Parenting

If you go by the actual definition of “gentle parenting,” the two are, essentially, synonymous. It’s worth noting that gentle parenting is often misunderstood as “permissive parenting,” where the parent doesn’t provide a healthy framework of rules or boundaries to create structure. In truth, gentle parenting does set up rules and routines, but kids are often encouraged to figure things out for themselves. Lazy parenting also seems to fall under this category.

However, while both terms mean the same thing, experts seem to think the word “lazy” doesn't really fit, since it fails to acknowledge the actual effort required.

"Referring to it as 'lazy parenting' is funny and self-deprecating,' but it misses the mark," Amy McCready, Positive Parenting Solutions founder, told Parents.com. "What we're talking about is a more intentional approach to parenting that helps prevent entitlement."

Similarly, parenting coach Tessa Stuckey echoed: “The word lazy is defined as unwilling to work. But, I believe, parenting, especially if you are trying to allow your kids to struggle a bit and work through their problems, takes the most work."

Why Lazy Parenting is Important

Still, semantics aside, both of these experts agree that raising children to be independent is crucial, and that cannot be achieved by taking care of everything for them.

"We want to avoid being 'helicopter parents,’ hovering over them at all times so they don’t fail or fall in any way. And we also want to avoid taking on the 'lawn mower' parenting approach, smoothing the path so the child has zero obstacles," Stuckey told Parents.com. "This deprives our kids from building independence, confidence, self-awareness, and the ability to practice life skills." "This deprives our kids from building independence, confidence, self-awareness, and the ability to practice life skills."

"It’s important to approach it as a coach and supporter rather than a rescuer. Our role is to guide them through challenges and encourage problem-solving and resilience," added McCready. "This way, they learn that it's OK to ask for help, but they also develop the confidence to tackle tasks on their own."

It can be hard for parents to say no to helping their children—out of a desire to help them, or to avoid any messes sure to take place as they’re figuring things out. It definitely does require massive amounts of patience. But if the end result is a fully capable adult ready to take on the world, it’s totally worth it.

You don't have to agree to show support.

It’s great when families have involved grandparents to help create those oh-so necessary villages for raising kids. However, when disagreements as to how to raise kids—and the power struggles that follow—arise, it can make for a less-than-peaceful village.

Let’s face it, it’s hard for everyone involved. Parenting has evolved, and things that worked “back in the day” don’t necessarily work now. So many Gen X and millennial parents are painfully aware of things that didn’t serve them as kids, and don’t want to repeat that pattern for their own children. Plus, it’s really hard to instill some kind of structure when that structure is constantly being undermined.

But at the same time, it can be difficult for grandparents to just sit idly by while their adult children make decisions that could come back to haunt them later. After all, the parental instinct to protect doesn’t necessarily expire.

Still, one grandma has some pretty sagely advice for all the well-intentioned grandparents out there.


Maria, better known as “Mom-Mom Maria,” who regularly posts about her life as a grandma, recently shared her strategy for handling parental disagreements with her own adult daughter.

“If I don’t agree with every little decision that my daughter makes for the baby, I usually don’t say anything,” she said. Still she admitted that “sometimes I can’t help myself.”

For this Mom-mom (the common term for “grandma” in New Jersey), the one thing she couldn’t stay silent about was the sippy cup and straw her granddaughter Prue was given to drink milk before bed.

Maria was asked to put Prues’ milk in said supply cup while she and her husband were babysitting for the night. Though she at first resisted because she felt Prue was much too young to drink out of anything but a bottle, she recognized “it’s not my decision. I’m not the decision maker.”

“I’m not the mom: I’m the Mom-Mom, the privileged Mom-Mom that gets to babysit her,” she said.



So, Maria did as her daughter instructed, and lo and behold…no problems. Prue drank her milk just fine.

“So I guess my daughter was right and that’s really what I wanted to say to the other grandmothers,” Maria concluded. “You don’t have to agree but you have to do it.”

Down in the comments, so many parents found Maria’s stance to be a “breath of fresh air.”

“Say it louder for the generations that think we don’t know what we’re doing as ‘young’ parents,” one person wrote.

Another quipped, ““I was getting ready to tussle but glad I’m on the grandma’s respecting their kid’s decisions side.”

Even fellow grandparents commended Maria’s take. One wrote, “thank you! Wish more grandparents understood this. I thought the perk of being a grandparent is that you don’t have to make any parenting decisions. You just get to enjoy the grandchildren.”

“That’s right,” echoed another. “Their kids, their rules. I’ve raised my kids, their turn. And yes, blessed to be grandma!”

And perhaps this was the best comment of all: “And the only thing your kid and grandkid will feel is love, support, and respect…and it’s that easy. And we all wish we had someone like you in our lives.”

So true. It might feel uncomfortable to let go of control, but the payoff is a stronger, healthier, more empowered family unit. In the end, it might be a pretty small sacrifice.

Millennials share good things learned from boomer parents

Boomers get a bad reputation for not understanding how expensive the world is today and for not being present for their children. When it comes to those that fit into the age category of boomers, the complaint list is so long you'd believe that they've never done anything good. Surly the people starting to settle into retirement or at least the idea of it have contributed something to the younger generations.

While it may be a trend to dunk on boomers, as a generation they did some pretty cool things. They put the first man on the moon. Many of the older boomers were the college kids protesting for civil rights and against the Vietnam War. They were part of the hippie movement which probably gave way to legalizing birth control for unmarried women in 1972. Boomers were the generation that saw women get the right to open a bank account without their husband or father's signature.

So clearly they folks younger generations like to poke fun at did some pretty amazing things but what good things did they teach their children? Millennials have spoken.


In a Reddit group dedicated to Xennials, the micro-generation between Gen X and Millennials, posed the question, "what do you think was your best lesson learned by being raised by Boomers," and they answered.

"I’m 41. My parents were both born in ‘48. They have always been fairly liberal, artsy types. The best thing I learned from them is that racism, sexism and homophobia is wrong and we should all actively work to make the world a better place. Also, that societal expectations are arbitrary and that you should carve your own path and be yourself," one person writes.

"I was born in ‘79 (mom 1955 and dad 1949 so both boomers). The best thing I learned from then was to not make excuses and be independent. They were not neglectful but they weren’t helicopter parents and let me suffer the consequences of my actions when I messed up," another says.


Photo credit: Canva

"Boomer parents taught me about cool hippie era counter culture stuff and gave me a leg up on having music, literature, and film nerd cred," someone shares.

"My parents very much taught me how to do things for myself. I knew how to fix the minor things on my car, basic plumbing, electric, obviously I could mow a lawn and grow some plants. They taught me to cook more than just the bare bones, but tasty stuff. I could do laundry the right way. And my mom actually took time to teach me how to learn. Back in the day you needed to know how to use encyclopedias and librarians. She told me I needed to know how to ask the right questions to learn what was necessary. I think they did a great job with these," one commenter responds.

For a generation that gets a lot of criticism, they did some pretty cool things and their children taking a moment to recognize the positive things about being raised by them is a positive change.