upworthy

body-shaming

Pop Culture

A gym owner said women need to 'cover up.' This personal trainer's response is scorched earth.

"Men are still saying it's our fault they don't know where to look. Sorry, that's a you problem."

@nathalielennon/TikTok

Can the gym please just be a safe space?

Back in April, Irish gym owner Paul Byrne came under fire for accusing women (technically, he said “young girls,” making it all the more creepy) of being too scantily clad for the gym, saying they should stop wearing what he called “workout bikinis” because they're distracting and intimidating for men. He was even so bold as to say their behavior was “narcissistic.”

Unsurprisingly, this didn’t sit well with many women. Pretty soon, it was on trend for women to film themselves working out in their so-called “workout bikinis.”

It became glaringly apparent that these scandalous outfits, while form-fitting and flattering (how dare they!), were certainly not what Byrne hyperbolically described.

@madisonraehildreth he’ll be clutching his pearls when he sees what our actual bikinis look like
♬ original sound - Newstalk

What constitutes proper gym attire for women isn’t exactly a new debate. Still, personal trainer Nathalie Lennon brings a whole new layer of nuance to the conversation, particularly how it relates to female autonomy and their own personal relationship to their bodies.

“For years, women were told to be skinny, and now we’re embracing strength and muscle, and we’re being shamed again,” she said, also calling out how “outdated” and “problematic” it is to blame a woman for someone else’s distraction.”

“It’s an issue on them if they can't manage their distractions. It’s not our responsibility to fix it with regards to what we wear.”

Lennon also highlighted the obvious double standard that exists, as men are often able to wear whatever they want to the gym without being scrutinized for it.

“[Men] taking off their tops in the middle of a workout to check out their muscle definition. Why aren’t they getting scrutinized the same way? I'm sure that can be intimidating for some people who are new to the gym, too.”

She even called out Byrne for apparently posting (since-deleted) pictures of himself from bodybuilding competitions in “incredible shape” but sporting "tighty-whities.”

@nathalielennon Just sharing my opinion. I’m shocked still… 😑 #womenempowerment @Newstalk ♬ original sound - Nathalie Lennon

“That’s fine! All the power to you! But for you to be one of the men…to make this comment about young women who are trying to defy what we have been told for years about being skinny, who are going into the gym to finally embrace strength, and muscle mass, and train in a way that’s gonna support them for the rest of their lives…I don’t have the words…”

Women, of course, are not only accused of dressing “for attention” in the workout room, but, as Lennon noted, it feels especially frustrating, and downright disheartening, for it to occur in a place that should be for introspection and “self improvement.” Women haven’t even had this type of public space available to them for long, unless you count the nonsensical “reducing salons” of the 1940’s…and even those weren’t co-ed!

Being a place of self-improvement, Lennon argued that women should be allowed to wear whatever clothes make them feel confident and train properly. And given that so many huge brands have done “endless research” on how to make that happen for women, maybe it shouldn’t be up to male opinion.

Bringing it all home, Lennon didn't mince words as she said, “The gym is a shared space means mutual respect. Not control.”

And that pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it? Women should be able to choose whether they want to work out in form-fitting sports attire or loose, baggy sweatpants. The key word there being choose.

Now, let's move on to the actually controversial gym etiquette debate: cellphones.

Celebrity

Kate Winslet regrets not calling out 'bullying' journalists. Young women, please take note.

"If I could turn back the clock, I would have used my voice in a completely different way."

Photo credits: Maggie (Maggiejumps) (left) GabboT (right)

Kate Winslet reflects on how her younger self interacted with the media.

When you're a celebrity in the spotlight, especially if you're a woman, your looks are constantly placed under a microscope. Every wrinkle on your face, every pound you gain or lose, every time the paparazzi catches up to you on a bad hair day, it's all fodder for a hungry entertainment media machine that thrives on scrutinizing beauty.

Kate Winslet should know. As an actress who made a name for herself in Hollywood as a young woman, her body size and shape was often a topic of conversation. Winslet was 22 years old when she played the role of Rose in "Titanic," and she has said that the fame that followed that film was "horrible," largely because of the media attention and the pressure to look a certain way.

“Apparently I was too fat,” Winslet said in an interview on the "Happy Sad Confused" Podcast in 2022. “Why were they so mean to me? They were so mean. I wasn’t even f--ing fat." Some media commentators were unabashed in their fat shaming, and commentary about her body went on for years.

Winslet expressed regret that she didn't push back more against "bullying" and "borderline abusive" journalists back in the day, and it's a good reminder for younger women today to use their voices to speak up when this kind of thing happens.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"If I could turn back the clock I would have used my voice in a completely different way," Winslet said. "I would have responded to journalists: 'Don't you dare treat me like this. I'm a young woman. My body's changing. I'm figuring it out. I'm deeply insecure. I'm terrified. Don't make this any harder than it already is.' That's bullying, you know, and actually, borderline abusive, I would say."

She said it's "getting better" but there's still a long ways to go. "Even if an actress walks out on a red carpet and happens to look amazing in whatever she's wearing, the fact that people will say, 'Looks honed and toned' or, dreadful word, 'svelte.' Don't even say it! It's such an irresponsible thing to do, and it feeds directly into young women aspiring to ideas of perfection that don't exist, aspiring to have bodies that the press are saying that we have."

kate winslet win GIF by BAFTAGiphy

Then she laid down the raw, real truth about those fancy red carpet events: "It's for one night and one night only that we're in that damn dress. And believe you me, mine comes straight off the second I'm in the car on the way home, and I'm in my pajamas, eating chips and farting. That's what we do!"

It's not always easy to know what to do or say in the moment when you are being mistreated, but hearing Winslet say what she wished she had said is a lesson for younger women everywhere. At the time, she may have felt helpless, but she wasn't. She had a voice and laments not using it.

Winslet also spoke to 60 minutes in 2024 and recalled the comments made about her on the red carpet during "Titanic" awards season, when journalists said she looked "a little melted and poured into that dress" and that she needed to have gotten one "two sizes larger."

“It’s absolutely appalling,” Winslet said. “What kind of a person must they be to do something like that to a young actress who’s just trying to figure it out?”

She said she did confront someone in the press face-to-face once, saying, "I hope this haunts you." Tearing up remembering that time, Winslet said, "It was a great moment. It was a great moment because it wasn't just for me. It was for all those people who were subjected to that level of harassment. It was horrific. It twas really bad."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Kudos to Kate Winslet for once again being a real one, reminding us that beauty is something far more than the way someone looks and that bullying or harassment of anyone, even people in the public eye, is never okay.

Men's Health

Chiefs star Patrick Mahomes says his 'dad bod' may be the key to his incredible success

This inspired other dudes to jump in with their own epic dad bod tales.

www.flickr.com
Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes - Indianapolis Colts Ja… | Flickr

"That Dad Bod, man," Patrick Mahomes reportedly joked after he barreled his way into the end zone in a game against the San Francisco 49ers. According to an article by Rustin Dodd for The Athletic (owned by The New York Times), this is just one of many references to Mahomes's less-than-traditional athletic physique.

In the same article, Rams quarterback Matt Stafford's wife, Kelly, is quoted as having posted on Instagram, "Dad bod is a requirement to be an NFL QB. Show me a shredded QB, and I’ll show you a not very good QB.”

Patrick Mahomes Showtime GIF by Kansas City ChiefsGiphy

Clearly, Patrick and Matt are far from the only NFL superstar athletes without washboard abs—and this really is nothing new. From Peyton Manning to tight end Travis Kelce, the list is endless. Caleb Jones, an offensive tackle for the Patriots, weighs in at 370 pounds. Aaron Gibson, who once played OT for the Lions, Cowboys, Bears (oh my!) at one point weighed 410 pounds. (He's now retired and lost over 100 pounds to get healthier.)

But that's just football, where one could argue that a little more padding provides protection. Just recently, NBA player Luka Dončić got traded to the Lakers, despite his openly "unhealthy" lifestyle and being considered "overweight" by professional standards. Would he be a better player if he lost weight and stopped smoking? Not necessarily. Basketball stars through the years have often notoriously had "everyman" bodies and yet displayed amazing athleticism. And don't even get me started on baseball players.

Season 3 Baseball GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

But some doctors warn that the dad bod (which is often used to describe men with a little extra weight in their midsections) can actually be a sign of poor health. Beer belly or just middle age, Dr. David Brill, in an article posted for the Cleveland Clinic, shares that a dad bod "left unchecked can lead to the three horsemen of the apocalypse: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high blood sugar."

Ours de la fête des pères avec de la biè Photo stock libre ...www.publicdomainpictures.net

In any case, this growing (pun intended) trend of a little extra teddy-bear fat in our jocks is inspiring all kinds of dudes on TikTok. Like Chill Guy 1, who posed sadly for the camera writing, "Strangers on the internet have commented on my weight gain." Only to cut to a guttural scream, while shirtless. There he proudly states, "F the haters! Love yourself always."


@chillary_chilton

Never let someone elses opinion determine how you feel about your body #fitness #wegojim #gym #dadbod #bodypositivity #selflove

And Supdaily, who exclaims, "I love food" while patting his round stomach.


@supdaily

Dad bod check #suchascientist #gummygame #foryoupage #fyp #dadbod #dadbodchallenge #dadbodcheck

Don't forget Logan Pete, who uses his dad bod as merely the vessel to share this inspiring message: "Oh hey, just some dad advice for anyone who needs it. You are a good person. You're trying your hardest. Your brain is just a jerk that plays tricks on you and tells you things that aren't true. And you probably deserve a cookie."

@logan_pete_

You got this kiddo! #dad #dadsoftiktok #dadbod #dadjokes #daddy

Dad bod squads are all the rage, and it doesn't seem to matter if you're just a person on TikTok or Taylor Swift's boyfriend's bestie. Dr. Brill added, “A chiseled body doesn’t have to be the goal. But there’s a sweet spot to be found. You don’t have to be ripped to be healthy."

Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts

Actress Julia Roberts was late to the game when it came to joining social media, so she was blown away when she finally saw first-hand how toxic it could be. She started an Instagram account in June of 2018 and, shortly after, was the target of trolls mocking her appearance in a post by her niece.

Roberts was upset about the negative comments people made about her looks and then was gutted when she considered social media's effect on young women. In a 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey for Harper’s Bazaar, Julia recounted the story.

“Although something did happen recently on my niece Emma’s Instagram that I think taught me a lot about what it’s like being a young person in today’s society. One weekend morning Emma slept over, and we got up and were having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning, and then a couple of days later, she posted a picture of us,” Roberts recalled.




Julia’s concerns about teenage mental health aren’t unfounded.

A 2022 report by Pew Research shows that online bullying is pervasive among teenagers and looks are a common target. “Nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, with physical appearance being seen as a relatively common reason why,” the report said. “Older teen girls are especially likely to report being targeted by online abuse overall and because of their appearance.”

Even though online bullying is common, those who watched Marika’s video were disturbed by what happened to Roberts and her young niece.

“Before I listened to the whole thing I thought to myself how wholesome this photo was that the two of them are playing cards and look so happy! People are really sad and depressed that they wanna judge on how someone should look it’s the saddest thing about humans. We can’t even see joy anymore,” ChantsBoomBoom wrote in the comments.

Even though Roberts was disturbed by the comments she saw on Instagram, she’s glad that it helped her grasp what’s happening to young people online.

“I was so happy that happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn’t get at all,” she told Winfrey. “You have to go through things to understand them, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on with social media.”


This article originally appeared last year.