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“A balm for the soul”
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upworthy

body shaming

Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts

Actress Julia Roberts was late to the game when it came to joining social media, so she was blown away when she finally saw first-hand how toxic it could be. She started an Instagram account in June of 2018 and, shortly after, was the target of trolls mocking her appearance in a post by her niece.

Roberts was upset about the negative comments people made about her looks and then was gutted when she considered social media's effect on young women. In a 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey for Harper’s Bazaar, Julia recounted the story.

“Although something did happen recently on my niece Emma’s Instagram that I think taught me a lot about what it’s like being a young person in today’s society. One weekend morning Emma slept over, and we got up and were having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning, and then a couple of days later, she posted a picture of us,” Roberts recalled.




“And the number of people who felt absolutely required to talk about how terrible I looked in the picture—that I’m not aging well, that I look like a man, why would she even post a picture like this when I look that terrible!” she continued. “And I was amazed at how that made me feel. I’m a 50-year-old woman and I know who I am, and still my feelings got hurt. I was sad that people couldn’t see the point of it, the sweetness of it, the absolute shining joy of that photo. I thought, ‘What if I was 15?’”

Beauty influencer Samantha Marika combined the audio of Julia telling the story, added it to the candid photo of her and Emma, and posted it to Instagram, and it went viral.

Julia’s concerns about teenage mental health aren’t unfounded.

A 2022 report by Pew Research shows that online bullying is pervasive among teenagers and looks are a common target. “Nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, with physical appearance being seen as a relatively common reason why,” the report said. “Older teen girls are especially likely to report being targeted by online abuse overall and because of their appearance.”

Even though online bullying is common, those who watched Marika’s video were disturbed by what happened to Roberts and her young niece.

“Before I listened to the whole thing I thought to myself how wholesome this photo was that the two of them are playing cards and look so happy! People are really sad and depressed that they wanna judge on how someone should look it’s the saddest thing about humans. We can’t even see joy anymore,” ChantsBoomBoom wrote in the comments.

Even though Roberts was disturbed by the comments she saw on Instagram, she’s glad that it helped her grasp what’s happening to young people online.

“I was so happy that happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn’t get at all,” she told Winfrey. “You have to go through things to understand them, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on with social media.”


This article originally appeared on 2.16.24

Selena Gomez/wikicommons Twitter/@taylenahq

Selena Gomez's emotional live video is a reminder to stop commenting on people's bodies.

Selena Gomez has talked openly about her diagnosis of lupus for several years now. We've seen her take breaks from music and acting because of it, and she's even gotten a kidney transplant from the organ damage the autoimmune disorder caused. With all of the changes Gomez has gone through, she continues to push forward and attend celebrity events when she is able.

But once again, the focus of her latest red carpet walk at the Golden Globe Awards was her body. Not because she looked stunning in her gown—which she did. No, it was because she gained a few pounds. Gomez has been in the spotlight since she was a child on "Barney & Friends," then later on "Wizards of Waverly Place." She's 30 years old now, and that alone should be reason enough for people to expect her to have more curves.


Since Gomez has spoken publicly about her lupus and bipolar disorder, it seems like people would be kinder and expect that her medications may cause weight fluctuations. Instead, people wrote articles about the state of her body and folks on the internet decided to leave comments about it. This led to the singer addressing the body shaming in an emotional TikTok live.

In the live video, she explained what happens when she takes her medication. "[When I'm taking it, I] tend to hold a lot of water weight, and that happens very normally. When I'm off of it, I tend to lose weight." During the video, Gomez got emotional, saying, "My medications are important and I believe they are what helps me. Not a model, never will be. And I think they're awesome, mind you. I'm just definitely not that."

It's a wild thing to watch unfold. This isn't the first time Gomez has had to come out and talk about her weight gain. It just makes you wonder why we are still commenting on people's bodies. Unless you're a person's medical provider and they've come to you asking why they've gained weight or how to lose it, then maybe we should collectively keep those thoughts inside the thought box.

So many people experience different things in life, and some of them cause our bodies to look different than what others may be used to. But commenting on what has changed about someone's body can cause harm that exceeds hurt feelings.

Studies show that body shaming can cause depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, eating disorders and more weight gain. Having someone give unsolicited commentary on your body just doesn't feel good, and celebrities are getting that experience times millions.

Fans of the actor have come to her defense on social media. One of them took to Twitter, writing, "The fact that selena felt like she had to go on a live and explain that when she takes medical for her illness she gains weight after being bodyshamed [sic] and asked why she looks different… like i feel so bad for her she looked so upset."

"I just want people to know that you're beautiful, and you're wonderful," Gomez said. "Yeah, we have days where maybe we feel like s---, but I would rather be healthy and take care of myself. My medications are important, and I believe that they're what helps me."

Gomez ended the live thanking her fans for their support and telling the haters to go away, saying, "I'm perfect the way I am."


Not Your Body, Not Your Choice.

Sometimes things are said unintentionally that can hurt feelings or cause harm but sometimes things are intended to do just that.

At the Turning Point USA Student Action Summit in Tampa, Florida, congressman Matt Gaetz made comments that essentially body shamed an entire demographic of people. His comments didn't go unnoticed as they made the rounds of social media. Olivia Julianna, 19, decided to make a witty response to his remarks on Twitter before Gaetz took her profile picture and shared it in what appears to be an effort to shame the teen's appearance.


Now, no one can fully say whether Gaetz intended to cause harm with his speech or his tweet until he decides to clarify his reasoning. But it sure seems Julianna's sassy response ruffled his feathers a bit. The teen made it clear that she would not tolerate body shaming by writing, "Its come to my attention that Matt Gaetz — alleged pedophile — has said that it’s always the ‘odious... 5’2 350 pound’ women that ‘nobody wants to impregnate’ who rally for abortion,” the tweet read. “I’m actually 5’11. 6’4 in heels. I wear them so the small men like you are reminded of your place.”

Gaetz is currently being federally investigated for sex trafficking. The congressman denies these claims and has currently not been charged with a crime.

Julianna let the world know in no uncertain terms that type of behavior wasn't OK. Given Gaetz's original comments about abortion rights activists looking "like a thumb" and saying, "they're like 5'2", 350 pounds," it's no surprise he came right back at the teen by sharing her profile picture to his 1.6 million followers. He captioned the picture with, "Dander raised," which according to Merriam-Webster means "to become angry."

The exchange didn't end there. Instead of backing down after the politician publicly exposed her photo to more than a million people, Julianna saw an opportunity. After the quick tiff, the teen used the increased attention to fundraise for the Gen-Z for Choice Fund, which distributes money to 50 different abortion funds across America. Julianna told Today that tweeting about the fund, which included a link, has since raised $168,000. She told Today, "I wanted to highlight the positive work that I'm doing from this very negative sphere that I've been placed in."

Congressman Gaetz seems to be going out of his way to make others upset. Even Mike Pence's chief of staff, Marc Short, came out swinging, metaphorically of course in an unexpectedly strong statement on CNN. In the clip he implies that Gaetz will be unable to vote in the election due to him being incarcerated by the time November rolls around.

Julianna is the one coming out on top in this situation by using it to fundraise for a cause that is important to millions of people. I'm not sure what the future holds for this teen but something tells me she's someone we should be on the look out for in the future. She's a force.

When you picture a ballerina, you may not picture someone who looks like Lizzy Howell. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Howell is busting stereotypes and challenging people's ideas of what a dancer should look like just by being herself and doing her thing in her own body. The now-19-year-old from Delaware has been dancing since she was five and has performed in venues around the world, including Eurovision 2019. She has won scholarships and trains up to four hours a day to perfect her skills in various styles of dance.

Jordan Matter Photography shared a documentary video about Howell on Facebook—part of his "Unstoppable" series—that has inspired thousands. In it, we get to see Howell's impressive moves and clear love of the art form. Howell shares parts of her life story, including the loss of her mother in a car accident when she was little and how she was raised by a supportive aunt who helped her pursue her dance ambitions. She also explained how she's had to deal with hate comments and bullying from people who judge her based on her appearance.

"I don't think it's right for people to judge off of one thing," Howell says in the video. And she's right—her size is just one thing.


Howell shares that she's been bullied in dance since she was six, and how it still happens when she goes to dance conventions. She sees people staring at her and whispering about her, but she says the successes she's had in dance and reassurances from other people keep her going.

"Most dancers are skinny, and I'm not," Howell says. "I think a lot of people can relate to me in that sort of way. They see me as an inspiration because I've been told I've been told to quit dance multiple times and I haven't."

"Dance is what I love and it's everything to me," she says. "So I think that just keeps me going."

Howell also has a message for people who might be tempted to say unkind things: "Whatever you say on social media is going to be seen by somebody and it could hurt their feelings. You know, you can't just say something that you think is funny but it might affect somebody else's feelings. I'm a very sensitive person, so I take everything to heart. There's a bunch of people that are like me that take it the same way."

Howell says dance is like therapy for her, which makes it all the worse for people to use her body size as a dancer as an excuse to be jerks. It might be surprising to see someone with Howell's body type doing the kind of dance she does, but anyone who comments negatively on a person's body—especially a young person has worked hard to train their body to create art—is a first-rate a-hole.

A few years have passed since Howell was interviewed for the "Unstoppable" video, and she's still showing that she truly is unstoppable. She now has more than 200,000 followers on Instagram and regularly posts videos of her dancing in the studio.

Thank you for showing us what bucking the status quo looks like, Lizzy. Keep being bold, dancing beautifully, and showing the haters you won't let them stop you.