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body-shaming

Celebrity

Kate Winslet regrets not calling out 'bullying' journalists. Young women, please take note.

"If I could turn back the clock, I would have used my voice in a completely different way."

Photo credits: Maggie (Maggiejumps) (left) GabboT (right)

Kate Winslet reflects on how her younger self interacted with the media.

When you're a celebrity in the spotlight, especially if you're a woman, your looks are constantly placed under a microscope. Every wrinkle on your face, every pound you gain or lose, every time the paparazzi catches up to you on a bad hair day, it's all fodder for a hungry entertainment media machine that thrives on scrutinizing beauty.

Kate Winslet should know. As an actress who made a name for herself in Hollywood as a young woman, her body size and shape was often a topic of conversation. Winslet was 22 years old when she played the role of Rose in "Titanic," and she has said that the fame that followed that film was "horrible," largely because of the media attention and the pressure to look a certain way.

“Apparently I was too fat,” Winslet said in an interview on the "Happy Sad Confused" Podcast in 2022. “Why were they so mean to me? They were so mean. I wasn’t even f--ing fat." Some media commentators were unabashed in their fat shaming, and commentary about her body went on for years.

Winslet expressed regret that she didn't push back more against "bullying" and "borderline abusive" journalists back in the day, and it's a good reminder for younger women today to use their voices to speak up when this kind of thing happens.

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"If I could turn back the clock I would have used my voice in a completely different way," Winslet said. "I would have responded to journalists: 'Don't you dare treat me like this. I'm a young woman. My body's changing. I'm figuring it out. I'm deeply insecure. I'm terrified. Don't make this any harder than it already is.' That's bullying, you know, and actually, borderline abusive, I would say."

She said it's "getting better" but there's still a long ways to go. "Even if an actress walks out on a red carpet and happens to look amazing in whatever she's wearing, the fact that people will say, 'Looks honed and toned' or, dreadful word, 'svelte.' Don't even say it! It's such an irresponsible thing to do, and it feeds directly into young women aspiring to ideas of perfection that don't exist, aspiring to have bodies that the press are saying that we have."

kate winslet win GIF by BAFTAGiphy

Then she laid down the raw, real truth about those fancy red carpet events: "It's for one night and one night only that we're in that damn dress. And believe you me, mine comes straight off the second I'm in the car on the way home, and I'm in my pajamas, eating chips and farting. That's what we do!"

It's not always easy to know what to do or say in the moment when you are being mistreated, but hearing Winslet say what she wished she had said is a lesson for younger women everywhere. At the time, she may have felt helpless, but she wasn't. She had a voice and laments not using it.

Winslet also spoke to 60 minutes in 2024 and recalled the comments made about her on the red carpet during "Titanic" awards season, when journalists said she looked "a little melted and poured into that dress" and that she needed to have gotten one "two sizes larger."

“It’s absolutely appalling,” Winslet said. “What kind of a person must they be to do something like that to a young actress who’s just trying to figure it out?”

She said she did confront someone in the press face-to-face once, saying, "I hope this haunts you." Tearing up remembering that time, Winslet said, "It was a great moment. It was a great moment because it wasn't just for me. It was for all those people who were subjected to that level of harassment. It was horrific. It twas really bad."

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Kudos to Kate Winslet for once again being a real one, reminding us that beauty is something far more than the way someone looks and that bullying or harassment of anyone, even people in the public eye, is never okay.

Culture

'Bridgerton' star Nicola Coughlan's pleas for fans to stop commenting on her body

Many celebrities have been taking a stand on receiving fan commentary about their weight. Nicola's hits a bit differently.

Bridgerton actor Nicola Coughlan in 2021.

The internet, for all its many wondrous things, can also be a cesspool of body-shaming, both outright and insidious. We see this most persistently perhaps with celebrities, who take on the role of dissection subjects regarding their weight. Whether being deemed “too thin” or “too fat,” comments about a public figure’s weight seems acceptable to some, simply because they signed up to be in the spotlight. But our better judgment knows this is not the case.

Nicola Coughlan, who plays the plot pivotal role of Penelope Featherington on the hit Netflix show “Bridgerton,” is no stranger to being inundated with this type of harmful, completely unnecessary feedback from fans.

So much so, that she recently posted her own truly heartfelt plea to her Instagram, asking for people to stop commenting on her body. Though we've seen multiple celebrities justifiably speak out against this, it’s hard not to be moved by her words in a whole new way.

Coughlan began her post with both civility and directness. “Hello! So just a thing- if you have an opinion about my body please, please don’t share it with me.”

This was apparently after receiving messages every single day following her breakout role.

She continued:

“Most people are being nice and not trying to be offensive but I am just one real life human being and it’s really hard to take the weight of thousands of opinions on how you look being sent directly to you every day.”

Her approach reminds us of the very real people we are often damaging through projections of outdated beauty standards and downright unfounded opinions.

Yellowjackets” star Melanie Lynskey had also recently been invaded by an influx of supposedly well-intentioned spectators since the hugely successful Showtime series premiered.


“Most egregious are the ‘I care about her health!!’ people,” Lynskey tweeted. “You don’t see me on my Peleton! You don’t see me running through the park with my child. Skinny does not always equal healthy.”

And of course, she’s not wrong. Despite our general assumptions, being thin is no real indication of a person’s health. And in some cases, it can reveal a risk for certain diseases. Even the formerly gold standard of measuring a healthy weight, the BMI, aka body mass index, is considered flawed today by experts.

Clearly, the only weight needing to be shed is our truly unhealthy relationship with outdated body expectations.

Coughlan knows that being a public figure often invites a public examination. “If you have an opinion about me that’s ok, I understand I’m on TV and that people will have things to think and say,” she wrote, with the caveat, “but I beg you not to send it to me directly.”

Certainly, Coughlan shouldn’t have to resort to begging. But here we are. And maybe this is how the message needs to be heard. When it’s so easy to leave thoughtless or downright toxic messages on social media, we need to be reminded how it affects the hearts of real people on the receiving end. Empathy online is just as important as it is IRL.

That’s what makes her plea a masterclass in grace. She speaks out without anger or accusation, though she could. Instead she comes from a place of compassion.

Coughlan ended her post by saying, “anyways here’s a pic of me in my hotel in NY about to go to SNL, it’s unrelated to this post but delighted with my hair in it.”


Even in a battle for boundaries, Coughlan’s never one to refrain from having a sense of humor (she did also star in the hilarious “Derry Girls”, after all). And, she wasn’t wrong about the hair.

Reading Coughlan’s post, I can’t help but wonder, if she was able to treat perfect strangers with so much respect and kindness, can we not return the favor?


This article originally appeared on 1.31.22

@_gracieling/X

Coughlan laments her struggles as a memmber of the "perfect breast community"


The fight against body-shaming starts with language.

So much of our hidden biases and internalized struggles with body image can be found lurking within the words used to describe ourselves and others—even the well-intentioned ones. It’s one of the reasons why the “body positivity” movement has been reevaluated over the years, since it tends to still place an emphasis on how our body’s physical appearance vs. how it simply helps with daily life.

It’s also why the phrase “you’re so brave” has come under scrutiny. Many celebrities, like Lena Dunham and Lizzo, have called out publications for routinely attributing the word “brave” to larger women who might show their skin. The compliment might come from a sincere place, but since you likely wouldn’t call a thin, able bodied person “brave” for doing the same thing.

Recently during a Q&A in Dublin, “Bridgerton” star Nicola Coughlan (who is no stranger to shielding herself from comments about her body) was met with this not-so-complimentary compliment, and her hilarious response was just so delightful in every way.

In case you’ve been living on a deserted island for the past few years, “Bridgerton” is a steamy show, many of which Coughlan’s character, Penelope Featherington, take part in. So, perhaps when a journalist commended Coughlan for being “brave,” he was noting the sheer level of intimacy involved, and might have said that to any of the cast members. But considering how often that word is specifically used for plus sized women who dare to be seen as sexual beings, it feels fairly safe to assume that wasn’t the case.

Regardless, Coughlan didn’t miss a beat as she quipped:

“You know, it is hard because I think women with my body type—women with perfect breasts—we don’t get to see ourselves onscreen enough.”

As the crowd erupted in laughter, she continued. “And I’m very proud as a member of the perfect breasts community. I hope you enjoy seeing them.”

So unbothered. So witty. So perfect.

Watch a clip of this iconic moment, which has already racked up thousands of views on X (formerly Twitter), along with the overwhelming amount of positive response from viewers, below:

Coughlan has on more than one occasion used her “Bridgerton” fame to shift the way pop culture portrays plus-sized women. In an interview with Stylist, she shared how she “specifically asked for certain lines and moments to be included” in subsequent seasons of the show, particularly one scene where she was “very naked on camera.”

“It just felt like the biggest ‘fuck you’ to all the conversation surrounding my body; it was amazingly empowering,” she told the outlet.

Honestly, it’s no wonder she’s a fan favorite, both on and offscreen.

Journalist Chris Wallace and actor Adam Driver.

Female actors in Hollywood are routinely criticized by the press, producers and fans on social media for their appearances. It must be incredibly daunting to undergo constant scrutiny just to do your job and express yourself through your art.

For the most part, men have it a lot easier in Hollywood, where the superficial importance of looks is a less critical to their success. That double standard is why a recent interaction between actor Adam Driver and journalist Chris Wallace is so interesting.

It’s a rare moment when a member of the press is critical of a man’s looks to his face. But Driver handles the situation with grace and humor.


Driver appeared on a recent episode of “Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace?” to promote his new film “Ferrari,” where he plays Enzo Ferrari, the founder of the iconic car brand. During the interview, Wallace compliments Driver by saying he is often compared to iconic stars such as Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino.

“Those are the actors that made me want to be an actor, you know, so that’s a nice comparison,” Driver said while adding that he avoids listening to compliments or negative comments about his career.

“The New Yorker also called me a ‘horse face,’ so I don’t — I take it with a grain of salt,” Driver said. “I remember reading one reviewer [who wrote]: ‘His agent probably doesn’t know whether to put him in a movie or the Kentucky Derby.’ So I take it, you know, if you believe the good thing, then you have to believe the bad thing. So I try to not absorb anything.”

Wallace then affirmed the insult with his next question.

“You don’t look like the typical movie star,” Wallace noted before asking if it was a “help” or a “hindrance” to his career. “A hindrance in only breaking mirrors wherever I go and having a misshapen outsized body that I can’t fit through doorways, or most clothes or fit into most cars,” the actor joked. “Apart from that, it’s good.”

After Driver’s response, Wallace kept to the same line of questioning, asking him if he thought his career would be easier if he looked like “All the President’s Men” and “The Natural” star Robert Redford. He drove the point home even further by putting up an image of Redford on the screen, juxtaposed with Driver. “It would just be different,” Driver said. “Who doesn’t want to look like Robert Redford? I’ve accepted this is how I look.”

The exchange went viral on X, where people praised Diver for his thoughtful and funny responses to a series of questions many saw as inappropriate.

There are many good reasons for people to feel angry over the way Wallace badgered Driver into talking about his looks. But the positive takeaway from the interview should be that Driver was proud to say that he has “accepted” how he looks, regardless of the amount of ink wasted by others who comment on his appearance.