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Mental Health

Things people 'used to believe in strongly' but no longer do

From adults being "smart" to the idea that "everything happens for a reason."

People used to believe "strongly" in these things but no longer do.

It’s normal to adapt your worldview with time and wisdom, especially after realizing that a lot of your past beliefs were built on shaky foundations. When I was a kid, for example, I used to think every doctor on the planet was a virtuous genius—and then I had the pleasure of searching for a long-term gastroenterologist. (I did find a virtuous genius, mind you. But it took a lot of searching.)

On that note, it’s a fascinating exercise to think about our shifting perceptions. In a recent viral post, a group of strangers sounded off on the following prompt: "What’s something you used to believe in strongly but no longer do?"

As of this writing, the top response in the r/AskReddit thread is, "I used to really believe in 'everything happens for a reason,' but now I think sometimes things just happen and we make meaning from it." The exchanges are both enlightening and hilarious as people politely debate the very definition of "reason."

- YouTubeTurning 40 got me thinking about all the lessons I've learned over the years—things I wish someone had told me in my 20s and ...

"It’s up to us to find meaning in what happens," another user wrote, pointing to the random nature of life. "[N]ot everything has some bigger purpose."

Someone replied that "things happen for reasons," just not by some grandiose design. "[H]istory is less God’s plan and more eldritch Lovecraftian chaos. The events of your life were largely decided long ago by patterns of history and culture that none of us can really understand other than to break them down to hyper specific pieces. Even then it largely just seems to drive us insane."

Of course, the question of faith and God was popular and reflected recent research on Americans and religion. In September 2022, the Pew Research Center published a report focused on the decline of Americans’ religious beliefs in recent decades. "Since 2007, the percentage of adults who say they are atheist, agnostic or 'nothing in particular' in the Center’s surveys has grown from 16% to 29%," they wrote. "During this time, the share of U.S. adults who identify as Christian has fallen from 78% to 63%."

Perhaps the most succinct reply in this exchange: "There is a reason. That reason is just usually a combination of entropy and human stupidity."

Someone else wrote that they no longer believe "that adults [are] smart," earning a lot of upvotes. As I illustrated in my comment about doctors, I couldn’t agree more with this one. Growing up, I thought all people over 30 (even those with a low IQ), were rich in other forms of intelligence like life experience and street smarts. Now I’m older than my parents were when I was born, and I realize how wrong I was.

gif of Joey Tribbiana tapping his head and saying, "Not just a hat rack, my friend."Season 6 Knowledge GIF by FriendsGiphy

One user no longer believes that "everything that goes around comes around," and they weren’t alone. In an amazing response, someone wrote, "Karma is highly misunderstood. Good and bad don’t exist; it’s all a matter of perspective. Karma is closer to physics—actions and decisions create consequences that affect our lives in sometimes unseen or unpredictable ways." Deep.

Other responses touch on the death penalty, the nature of empathy, marriage, spirituality, the nature of truth, welfare, marijuana, the idea that "you should never walk out of a job," Santa Claus, the justice system, the American Dream, and the concept of college being "always worth it."

On a lighter note, someone simply wrote, "[That] mayo on fries is gross. Spoiler, it's not."

More

Why it's illegal for some Christian bakers to refuse to bake gay wedding cakes. Explained.

A funny, concise three-minute explainer video about gay wedding cakes and the law.

Say, hypothetically, you go to a bakery to order your wedding cake.

Imagine you are Christian. And the bakery specializes in wedding cakes. Particularly satanic wedding cakes, but they make them for atheist and Buddhist weddings too, on occasion. And you happen to love the way their devil's food cake tastes, and you'd like them to make one for your Christian wedding. And then the satanic baker says, "I'm sorry, but it's against my beliefs to make a wedding cake for Christian weddings. Good day! Hail Satan!"

You'd be upset, right? (Along with being confused with the whole "Hail Satan" thing.)


Now imagine you are gay. And a Christian baker says making you a wedding cake is against their beliefs. Well, you don't have to imagine. Because it really happens. On occasion. And then sometimes the courts have to weigh in and shut that down. But the outcome depends on which state you live in. Each state has its own set of rules.

But what about freedom of speech? Or freedom of religion? Or artistic freedom? What then?

John Corvino's hilarious new video has answers to all your concerns about the rights of wedding cake bakers.

Along with being chair of the philosophy department at Wayne State University, John has a history of hilariously explaining, for example, why you can't marry your kitchen appliances. In the below video, he explains why he can't discriminate against his conservative students, why a Kosher bakery can refuse to make you a bacon cake, and why you can't own a bakery where all the bakers are nude.

(Make sure to watch the whole video, there's comedy after the credits.)

Good luck with all your baking. Please wear clothes when you do it.

John Corvino has written several books, including, most recently, "Debating Religious Liberty and Discrimination." He does not own a nude bakery.

This article was updated 4/29/2017.

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My parents decided I needed a lesson in Kwanzaa. Now I'm sharing it with you.

You might not know these cool things about Kwanzaa, America's 'youngest' holiday.

I remember reading the "My First Kwanzaa Book" with my dad as a 7-year-old.

The Proud Family was always on point. GIF from "The Proud Family."

That year, I was completely occupied with making sure Santa knew that my Beanie Baby collection desperately needed an update, so my parents decided that I also desperately needed some cultural engagement outside of FAO Schwarz. That year, we read Kwanzaa books, went to West African fabric stores, and had deep cultural talks about the values of African-Americans.  


It was the first and last time I did anything Kwanzaa-related for a few years, but the experience stuck with me. Clearly, my parents wanted me to take some important values from the holiday. Now, as an adult, I realize the importance of having holidays that reflect your cultural values and ideology. As an African-American, knowing that there's a holiday that's built to support my identity is something that I didn't know back in 1999 I'd be so grateful for in 2016.

Kwanzaa is celebrated by at least 12 million people annually.

So why do we often ignore it or, worse, mock it? Probably because many folks didn't have a "My First Kwanzaa Book" in 1999 and also because it can be hard to ask about something you don't understand for fear of looking ignorant.

That's why, as a Kwanzaa celebrator, I wanted to break down what the holiday truly about. Here are seven things you might not know about Kwanzaa but might be too afraid to ask:

1. How long has this holiday been around?

Kwanzaa will actually be 50 years old this year, so it's a pretty young holiday as far as holidays go. Created by African-American studies professor Maulana Karenga in 1966, the holiday came about during the black nationalist movement. It was symbolic way for African-Americans to reconnect with their African roots and a culture that was largely censored during the Atlantic slave trade. It is a human-made holiday along with many others like Easter, Hanukkah, and St. Patrick's Day.

2. Where does the name come from?

The name is derived from Swahili, an East African language. It comes from the Swahili phrase "matunda ya kwanza"meaning "first fruits of the harvest" or "fresh fruits."  

Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

3. Who celebrates the holiday?

While the holiday honors African-American history and culture, the universal message behind it encourage folks from any racial or ethnic background to celebrate. According to Duke University professor Lee D. Baker, 12 million people celebrate the holiday each year, but the African-American Cultural Center puts that estimate at more like 30 million. Celebrities like Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie are known to celebrate the holiday annually, too.      

4. Why is seven such an important number in Kwanzaa?

The number seven is key to Kwanzaa for several reasons. Aside from the name being seven letters, the holiday begins on Dec. 26 and lasts for seven days until Jan. 1. On those seven days, families focus on seven principals that are important to the people of the African diaspora:      

  • Umoja (Unity)
  • Kujichagulia (Self-determination)
  • Ujima (Collective work and responsibility)
  • Ujamaa (Cooperative economics)
  • Nia (Purpose)
  • Kuumba (Creativity)
  • Imani (Faith)

Families light seven candles — three red, three green, and one black — on a candelabra as a dedication to those values. Some people wear "kente" cloth, a colorful African cloth, while lighting the candles.    

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

5. Why those colors?

The colors of Kwanzaa represent the Pan-African movement.

Pan-Africanism, an ideology that focuses on strengthening solidarity between all people of African descent, is the inspiration behind the principles of Kwanzaa. The colors black, red, and green represent "unity" amongst people from the African diaspora. Black represents the people, red represents the blood that unites everyone with African ancestry, and green represents the richness of African land.      

6. What religion does the holiday represent?

Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday. The holiday was modeled after the first harvest celebrations in Africa, and it was created to celebrate values like family, culture, and heritage. However, faith is central to it. "Imani," the word for "faith" in Swahili, is one of the seven principles of Kwanzaa.  

7. Why do people give this holiday such a hard time?

Kwanzaa was pretty popular when it first came onto the scene in the 1960s. It was created at a time when black pride was on the rise. But after the 1990s, popularity dwindled as the black civil rights struggle of the 1960s became something that younger Americans saw as a thing of the past. Because the creator is still alive, many saw Kwanzaa as an "invalid" holiday, thus making it the brunt of the holiday season.      

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

I believe that this year, more than ever, we need Kwanzaa.

As time goes on, culture ebbs and flows. The Black Lives Matter movement has reawakened the desire for real liberation for African-Americans, and many millennials are using Kwanzaa again as another way to reclaim black identity.

So whether you celebrate Kwanzaa this year or not, remember that the holidays, no matter what they are, give people a chance to celebrate our individual cultures and the magic and history within them.