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Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.

“It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Mel Robbins (@melrobbins)

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.”

@melrobbins
Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

This article originally appeared on 3.4.24

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Pop Culture

The Bee Gees 1973 'unplugged' medley of Beatles songs is blissful harmony

The '70s legends were inspired by the greatest band of the '60s.

via Midnight Special/YouTube

The Bee gees playing a medley of Beatles hits in 1973.

By 1973, the Bee Gees’ career had hit a low. After a series of hits in the late 1960s and early 1970s, including "To Love Somebody," "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart," and "I Started a Joke," the band was in a rut.

Their latest album, “Life in a Tin Can,” and single “Saw a New Morning" sold poorly, and the band’s popularity declined.

On April 6, 1973, the Gibb brothers (Barry, Robin and Maurice) appeared on “The Midnight Special,” a late-night TV show that aired on Saturday mornings at 1 a.m. after “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.” Given the lukewarm reception to their recent releases, the Bee Gees decided to change things up and play a medley of hits from their idols, The Beatles, who had broken up 3 years before.

The performance, which featured 5 of the Fab Four’s early hits, including “If I Fell,” “I Need You,” “I'll Be Back,” “This Boy,” and “She Loves You,” was a stripped-down, acoustic performance that highlighted the Bee Gees' trademark harmonies.

“When you got brothers singing, it’s like an instrument that no one else can buy. You can’t go buy that sound in a shop. You can’t sing like The Bee Gees because when you got family members singing together, it’s unique,” Noel Galagher, who sang with his brother Liam in Oasis, said according to Far Out.

Beatles Medley - Bee Gees | The Midnight Special

A year later, the Bee Gees performed in small clubs, and it looked like their career had hit a dead end. Then, at the urging of their management, the band began to move in a new direction, incorporating soul, rhythm and blues, and a new, underground musical style called disco into their repertoire. Barry also adopted a falsetto singing style popularized by Black singers such as Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye.

This unlikely change for the folksy vocal group catapulted them into the stratosphere and they became the white-satin-clad kings of disco.

In the late ‘70s, the band had massive hits, including songs featured on the 40-million-selling “Saturday Night Fever” soundtrack: “Stayin’ Alive,” How Deep is Your Love,” More Than a Woman,” Jive Talkin’,” and “Night Fever.”

In 1978, the band made a significant misstep, starring in a musical based on The Beatles' music called “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” produced by Robert Stigwood, the man behind “Saturday Night Fever” and “Grease.” The film was a colossal bomb, although the soundtrack sold well.

Beatle George Harrison thought the Bee Gees film was about what happens when you become successful and greedy.

"I just feel sorry for Robert Stigwood, the Bee Gees, and Pete Frampton for doing it because they had established themselves in their own right as decent artists,” Harrison said. "And suddenly… it's like the classic thing of greed. The more you make the more you want to make, until you become so greedy that ultimately you put a foot wrong."

Even though the Bee Gees’ Beatle-themed musical was a flop, former Beatle John Lennon remained a fan of the group. He sang their praises after the public’s growing distaste of disco resulted in a significant backlash.

"Try to tell the kids in the seventies who were screaming to the Bee Gees that their music was just the Beatles redone,” he told Playboy magazine in 1980. “There is nothing wrong with the Bee Gees. They do a damn good job. There was nothing else going on then."

The Bee Gees historic career ended when Marice passed away in 2003 at 53. Robin would follow in 2009 at 62. Barry is the final surviving member of the band.

This article originally appeared on 6.13.24

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Pop Culture

Celebrate Paul Simon's birthday with a gorgeous 'Here Comes the Sun' duet with George Harrison

The pair appeared together on "SNL" all the way back in 1976.

via RockFM/YouTube

Paul Simon and George Harrison perform "Here Comes the Sun."

Singer-songwriter Paul Simon turned 82 on Friday, October 13. Even though he has suffered significant hearing loss in his left ear, he’s still recording new music. Earlier this year, he released “Seven Psalms,” an all-acoustic song cycle meant to be listened to from front to back.

To celebrate his birthday, some folks on X (formerly known as Twitter) celebrated by sharing a beautiful performance by Simon and ex-Beatle George Harrison of “Here Comes the Sun” on “Saturday Night Live” in 1976. The two traded verses on the song and displayed a natural harmony with their voices and finger-picking. Later that night, they would duet on Simon’s “Homeward Bound.”

“Here Comes the Sun” has grown in popularity since it was first released in 1969, and it’s become the most popular Beatles song on Spotify. Harrison, always seen as a third banana to the monstrously successful John Lennon and Paul McCartney songwriting partnership, would undoubtedly take great joy at besting his fellow Beatles on the charts.

On that night’s episode, SNL producer Lorne Michaels jokingly offered Harrison $3,000 to reunite The Beatles on the show, to which Harrison called the figure “chintzy.” Michaels then clarified that Harrison would only receive $750 of the pot because he’s only 1 of 4. Little did they know that when Michaels made the same joke on the show a few months earlier, Lennon and McCartney nearly took him up on the offer.

Paul Simon has had an illustrious career on SNL. He has appeared on the show 14 times, 4 times as the show’s host and another 5 times as the sole musical guest.

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Pop Culture

Skittles takes out a full-page ad asking people to stop throwing candy at Harry Styles

Skittles can hurt.

via Wikimedia Commons and Wikimedia Commons

Harry Styles live on stage June, 2022.

Singer Harry Styles was hit in the face with a Skittle thrown by an audience member at a concert in Los Angeles on Monday, November 14. As he thanked the crowd during his Love On Tour concert he can be seen wincing and holding his eye.

Luckily, the “Watermelon Sugar” singer recovered from the incident because getting hit with a flying object from a far distance could cause serious injury.

The incident inspired Skittles to speak out on Twitter. “Didn’t think I needed to say this: Please don’t throw Skittles,” the candy company tweeted.

“The entire fandom thanks you for this. I think the person that threw them should be banned from ever buying them again,” a Styles fan responded to the tweet.

\u201cDidn\u2019t think I needed to say this: Please don\u2019t throw Skittles.\u201d
— SKITTLES (@SKITTLES) 1668528220

Here’s footage of the incident.

\u201cwhoever the fuck threw a solid object at his eye, u literally ruined kiwi bc he wouldn\u2019t open his eye for the whole song\u201d
— mandi\ud83c\udfe0HARRY TALKED TO ME?? (@mandi\ud83c\udfe0HARRY TALKED TO ME??) 1668494435

\u201cYALLLLLL. This goes without saying. \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb DO \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb NOT \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb THROW \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb STUFF \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb AT \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb PEOPLE \ud83d\udc4f\ud83c\udffb Harry Styles took a forcefully thrown skittles to the freaking eye last night. Come on, use some common sense!! \ud83d\ude21\u201d
— jennie (@jennie) 1668550766

Skittles took things a step further on Saturday, November 19, by posting a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times warning people not to hurl their candy at anyone. “Protect the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. But please, don’t throw the rainbow,” the ad read.

\u201cPSA: Protect your eyes from Skittles (by eating them, not throwing them)\u201d
— SKITTLES (@SKITTLES) 1668885645

This isn't the first time Styles has been hit with objects on stage. Earlier this year, he was hit in the crotch with a water bottle. He played the direct hit off with his trademark humor, “That's unfortunate.”

\u201cHarry talking to the crowd before the Unfortunate \nEvent at United Center in Chicago, IL - October 14(via @glambygab)\u201d
— HSD Love On Tour (@HSD Love On Tour) 1665807250

He was also assaulted with a chicken nugget. After the crowd demanded he eat it, he refused because he’s a vegetarian. Plus, it was cold.

\u201chttps://t.co/rHCWvuQNEM\u201d
— \u2661\u2728kalina midnights era\u2728\u2661 (@\u2661\u2728kalina midnights era\u2728\u2661) 1661654678

Let's hope that all of the publicity surrounding the pegging doesn’t inspire copycat Skittle tossers to pelt Styles even further. Styles probably doesn’t want Skittle hurling to become a concert tradition like when people throw toilet paper and shoot off squirt guns while watching “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

Styles isn’t the first rock star to be assaulted on stage with candy.

The Beatles had some real troubles in their early years after guitarist George Harrison admitted that he loves jelly beans. Fans reacted by pelting him with candy while the band played on stage.

“We don't like Jelly Babies, or Fruit Gums for that matter, so think how we feel standing on stage trying to dodge the stuff, before you throw some more at us,” he wrote to a fan in 1963. “Couldn't you eat them yourself, besides it is dangerous. I was hit in the eye once with a boiled sweet, and it's not funny!”

The Foo Fighters had a similar problem after they made fun of Mentos commercials in the video for their 1996 hit, “Big Me.”

"Every time we played it, it would just start raining Mentos, and them mother fu**ers hurt," Grohl said according to Gigwise. "We did a show in Canada and, in the middle of the song, someone threw a pack, and it hit me right in the face. I was so pissed, I picked it up and said, 'It's been 10 fu**ing years since that video.'"

Here’s Grohl explaining the situation on stage.

Warning: Strong language.

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Family

10 things that made us smile this week

@iammarilynmm/TikTok, @theworldofdog/Twitter

If you're looking for some snippets of delight, we've got you covered.

It's December! How did that happen? As the days get shorter and we head full-speed into the busiest holiday season of the year—yet again in the middle of a still-raging pandemic (weeeee!)—we could all use some glimmers of hope and snippets of joy to perk us up.

From laughing babies to dancing grandpas to creative Christmas carol commas (you'll see), here are 10 things that made us smile this week. We hope they'll do the same for you.

Watch a bunch of good doggos plunging in to play in the pool.

pool time at the doggy daycare\n(Bubble Puppy Playhouse FB)pic.twitter.com/ZdCAgdp0VA
— theworldofdog (@theworldofdog) 1638472615

Living their best life at doggy day care. Look at all that joy.

Little girl dances like a pro to a street marching band.

LOOK AT HOW SHE ATE THATpic.twitter.com/sjPicA3hsA
— Detective Drip (@Detective Drip) 1638025644

Seriously, that little one can move, andin her little puffer jacket no less! That is called feelin' it.

Guy creates the most hilariously creative rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" ever.

I couldn't figure out where the comma(s) in "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" should go, so I hit myself in the face.pic.twitter.com/BNaglwpzYt
— Ramses the Pigeon (@Ramses the Pigeon) 1638396679

Absolutely incredible. It makes nerdy wordsmith hearts everywhere so happy. (I'd put the comma after "ye," but I'm not in charge.)

Watch a cat trying to catch snowflakes with its bare paws.

Cat trying to catch snowflakes.pic.twitter.com/fBs5R45BAM
— \ud835\udd50o\u0334g\u0334 (@\ud835\udd50o\u0334g\u0334) 1638327601

Cats are gonna cat, and you can't put a bunch of little things flying through the air in front of a cat and not expect them to pounce. Cuteness.

Speaking of cuteness in the snow, this older couple frolicking like children in the snow is just so wholesome.

See on Instagram

They're not that old, but seeing them skipping and jumping like little kids is just adorable. Simple love, simple joy—it's really all we want.

Broadway actors sing a gorgeously moving tribute to Stephen Sondheim.

Broadway musical composer extraordinaire Stephen Sondheim passed away at age 91 this week, leaving a wealth of creative beauty behind. A group of Broadway actors and singers gathered in New York to sing a tribute to him with the opening song of his musical "Sunday in the Park with George." So beautiful. Read the full story here.

Baby gets the giggles because apparently coughing is downright hilarious.

See on Instagram

The only thing better than the sound of baby laughter is the sound of that laughter when they find something random side-splittingly funny.

Old man dances along with a street musician and he's got serious moves.

See on Instagram

He may use a cane to get around, but he certainly doesn't need it to get down. How joyful.

We get to watch the birth of iconic Beatles songs right before our eyes

The Peter Jackson documentary series "Get Back," consisting of candid footage of the Beatles that had been locked in a vault for five decades, came out last weekend on Disney+. Holy moly, does it contain some gems. If you ever wanted to see Paul McCartney literally pull a song out of thin air, here you go. Read the full story here.

A son heading back to college had the sweetest exchange with his baby brother.

@iammarilynmm
My oldest is headed back to college and his younger brother had to let him know how much he loves him. Volume up ⬆️ #brothers #myboys #momof4 #momsoft

If this doesn't warm your heart, are you sure you even have one? "I LUB YOU!!!!" And that "Mmmmm" at the end. Too dang cute. (Go ahead and watch this one a dozen more times for good measure. Indulge in that delight.)

Hope that brought some joy to your heart and a smile to your face! Come back again next week for another round-up of happiness.

From Your Site Articles

beatles

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.”

The Bee Gees 1973 'unplugged' medley of Beatles songs is blissful harmony

The '70s legends were inspired by the greatest band of the '60s.

Beatles Medley - Bee Gees | The Midnight Special

Celebrate Paul Simon's birthday with a gorgeous 'Here Comes the Sun' duet with George Harrison

The pair appeared together on "SNL" all the way back in 1976.

Skittles takes out a full-page ad asking people to stop throwing candy at Harry Styles

Skittles can hurt.

10 things that made us smile this week

Watch a bunch of good doggos plunging in to play in the pool.

Little girl dances like a pro to a street marching band.

Guy creates the most hilariously creative rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman" ever.

Watch a cat trying to catch snowflakes with its bare paws.

Speaking of cuteness in the snow, this older couple frolicking like children in the snow is just so wholesome.

Broadway actors sing a gorgeously moving tribute to Stephen Sondheim.

Baby gets the giggles because apparently coughing is downright hilarious.

Old man dances along with a street musician and he's got serious moves.

We get to watch the birth of iconic Beatles songs right before our eyes

A son heading back to college had the sweetest exchange with his baby brother.

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