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Mom's tearful post about leaving twins after maternity leave has people debating U.S. policy

Many working moms share this woman's feelings about going back to work.

Courtesy of @marissa_jeanne/TikTok

With no guaranteed paid leave, moms in the U.S. take far less maternity leave than nearly every other country.

The United States has long been viewed as exceptional in many ways, some very positive and some not so much. One not-so-great thing that sets it apart from nearly every other country on Earth is its paid parental leave policies—or rather, its total lack of them.

The U.S. is one of just seven countries—and the only wealthy nation in the world—that offers no guaranteed paid parental leave by law. It's up to companies to provide leave to employees as a "perk," but it's in no way required. The average American mother takes 10 weeks off after having a baby, but that's combining both paid and unpaid leave and only those who are able to take it. Compare that with the global average of just under 19 weeks of paid leave—longer if you include protected unpaid leave—and it's clear the U.S. is indeed exceptional on this front.

A mom who took three months off after her twins were born shared a tearful video explaining how she felt on her last day of maternity leave, and it's resonating with many American moms.

"So, today is my last day of maternity leave and I go back to work tomorrow. I just feel like I haven't had enough time with them," Marissa Jeanne shared on her TikTok page. "I know I got longer than a lot of women get with three months, but it just doesn't…I just don't feel ready."

Marissa shared with Good Morning America that she'd had a high-risk pregnancy and the twins were born 5 1/2 weeks early, spending several weeks in the NICU before they were able to come home. The three month countdown began as soon as they were born, so she said she felt like she got robbed of some of her postpartum time. "And that does not get accounted into your maternity leave," she said.

She described the "abrupt change" of being with her babies all the time and then suddenly only having a few hours a day with them, worrying that they're going to forget her.

babies, twins, maternity leave, paid leave, US, parenting It's hard to go back to work full-time with babies.Photo credit: Canva

"I also love my career," she added. "I am proud of what I do, but there's always that mom guilt of you're not giving enough time to your kids."

Unfortunately, Marissa received some judgmental comments from people telling her she should just make it work to stay home, but that wasn't an option for her family financially, especially since she holds the health insurance (another American exceptionalism). She's not in an unusual situation; a large percentage of Americans live in two-income households, and rising living expenses have made it more difficult not to.

Many moms empathized with her feelings. People from outside the U.S. offered not only sympathy but bafflement over the fact that longer leave is not the norm like it is in every other wealthy nation.

"How is this normal or allowed in America in 2025 when we get a year in Europe many countries more than the one year in the UK?"

"In Canada the mothers get either 12 or 18 months paid maternity leave."

"3 months is not long enough! Moms deserve more!"

"I had to go back to work after 7 weeks. It shattered my heart. I couldn’t afford to take 12 weeks off. 😔"

"Maternity leave in the United States has to change. And then to jump back into the flow of work, with the emotional imbalance. I’m not even the mother and this is heartbreaking."

"This is real 💔 Moms and babies deserve so much better."

"U.S. needs to step up their maternity standards. It’s crazy that we are so behind every other developed country."


One of the arguments people make against longer parental leave is that it puts a burden on companies, but that begs the question of how all the other countries with businesses make it work. Interestingly enough, this is an issue that doesn't seem to fall neatly among partisan lines. People on both sides of the aisle argue for federally mandated maternity leave, but it hasn't happened yet. Until it does, families will continue to feel the pressure to go back to work quickly after welcoming their babies and struggle with the reality that it's simply not enough time.

Watch Marissa's full video:

@marissa_jeanne

Last day of maternity leave and I am a mess. There’s nothing that prepares you for this day in your postpartum journey. #maternityleave #maternityleaveover #postpartumjourney #pospartum #3monthspostpartum #backtowork #workingmom #workingmoms #workingmomstruggles #twinmom

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Parenting

Mom's adorable 1993 baby picture is a modern pediatrician's worst nightmare

Our parents were really doing their best with the information they had.

Canva Photos

Blanket, pillows, and toys in cribs used to be totally normal back in 1993.

I love learning about common parenting techniques from generations past. We've probably all heard some of the classics, like giving baby a tiny bit of alcohol to get him to sleep, or rubbing whiskey on sore gums to soothe a teething infant. (Upon reflection, it seems that a lot of parenting hacks back in the day boiled down to giving children liquor). These weren't hush-hush under the table tactics. Doctors frequently recommended these things to new parents. Now, of course, we're horrified at the thought and we know the significant risks of alcohol exposure both in the womb and out of it.

Crib set ups are similar. Decades ago, parents were hyper-worried about baby's limbs getting caught in the crib bars, so the solution was to line cribs with thick, soft bumpers. Inside the cribs, pillows and blankets kept baby comfortable and from rolling around too much. It made sense! At the time at least. But, wow, have times changed.

One mom is going viral for posting a fascinating side by side. Her as a baby in 1993, sleeping peacefully in a crib, versus her daughter in 2025.


babies, parenting, motherhood, fatherhood, pediatricians, newborn safety, SIDSThis was basically parenting in the 1960sGiphy

The comparison is definitely illuminating.

In 1993, there's millennial mom Alanna Clark, sleeping comfortably on her back in her pajamas. She's surrounded by a cocoon of comfort. The key thing to note is the fluffy crib bumpers to keep her from reaching through the bars. Bumpers were meant to add decoration and comfort to a baby's crib while also keeping them from getting injured by the bars. This was especially true back when drop-cribs, or cribs where one wall could drop down, were popular. The American Academy of Pediatrics officially began recommending parents never use crib bumpers in 2011 due to their being a suffocation risk highly associated with SIDS.

The photo of Clark's daughter from 2025 is striking. Her crib is completely empty! She's sleeping on her back with a fitted sheet on the mattress and a snugly-fitted sleepsack containing her legs. That's it. There are no bumpers, toys, pillows, or blankets according to the latest pediatrician guidelines.

As a bonus, Clark shared a picture of herself riding in a (rather flimsy looking) front-facing car seat while her daughter in 2025 rides in a rear-facing "tank," as she calls it, which fits current standards.

Clark's caption captured a beautiful sentiment about the "outdated" standards. Instead of judging her parents for dangerous choices, she understands that they were doing their absolute best with the information they had at the time:

"When I explained modern sleep practices to my dad, he explained to me that the bumpers were to keep me safe from breaking an arm or a leg. I’m glad that when my family talks about the 'new' way of doing things we focus on how much more information we have to keep babies safe. Anyways, enjoy these little snippets of me as a baby with my parents doing what they were told was best. I wonder what practices will be outdated when I’m a grandma one day"

See the fascinating photos here.


tiktok, babies, 1993, 2025 , parentingTikTok · Alanna | First Time Mom 🇨🇦www.tiktok.com

Clark's post went viral and commenters were so appreciative of how infant safety standards have improved. They were also grateful to previous generations for trying their best:

"yep, and hopefully our kids have even better info and technology when they raise their children."

"Doing their best back then, so we can keep doing better today!!"

"I love your take on this rather than bashing practices of the time which genuinely were what they thought was best"

"It's reassuring knowing that our kids will look at their baby pictures in the future like 'We're you trying to kill me?' and proceed to do differently, as will be best practice then"

"I was trying to explain to someone the other day that our kids are going to say they can’t believe our recommendations were legal it will have changed so much"

Others shared some of their favorite parenting methods from their own parents and grandparents. One commenter wrote that her grandma would put her babies in dresser drawers to keep them safe. Another said her grandpa "didn't believe" in car seats! Somehow, they both lived to tell the tale.

Are there things we're doing with our babies now that will one day be viewed as Hard Nos?


babies, parents, moms, dads, infants, newborns, safety, infant safety, parentingThis baby has nothing in his pack 'n play at all. Well done parents! Photo by Alex Bodini on Unsplash

Again, you have to remember that doctors, pediatricians, and fellow parents were all telling the older generations that this stuff was not just OK, but highly recommended. They really believed those death-trap crib bumpers were safe! You can't help but wonder what kinds of things parents today take for granted as safe, that our kids will look back on one day as reckless and dangerous when it's studied further.

"I'm 100% convinced that 'cry it out' will be the thing that future generations are appalled by," one commenter opined, referring to a controversial method of sleep training infants.

Another user joked that in a few decades, babies will sleep levitating in mid-air via magnets to avoid contact with potential hazards.

Me, I think it's likely that the next generation of parents will be appalled that they were ever allowed to watch cartoons or use a screen, as more research into screentime begins to take shape. I also wouldn't be surprised if pediatricians decide we can't be trusted to make our own baby food at home anymore. But these are just guesses. We won't really know until the science rolls in.

Overall, there's a powerful message here for parents and even those grandparents who might insist on being defensive about the older ways:

"What some grandparents don’t understand is that following modern standards is NOT a condemnation of their parenting," one commenter wrote. "They did what was best according to contemporary standards too." That's all any of us can do.

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Kids

The most popular middle names for Millennial and Gen Z babies are absolutely wild

"Middle names are an opportunity for parents to be creative."

Photo by Colin Maynard on Unsplash
selective focus photography of baby holding wooden cube

As a Gen X-er, the most exciting middle name I ever heard was "Danger." The whole gist of it was so that this person could introduce themselves and say, "Danger is my middle name," and have it be a true statement.

For a long while, it was all about first names. But interesting middle names are making a comeback, especially for babies born to Millennial and Gen Z parents.

Come At Me Not Scared GIF by StickerGiantGiphy


In Sophie Kihm's piece "Middle Name Trends 2025" for nameberry.com, she writes, "Middle names were once an afterthought—meaningless and bland connectors between first and last names." However, she relays, "Today, middle names have become an opportunity for parents to be creative. Unlike first names, which many parents hold to high standards of practicality and wearability, middle names offer freedom, flexibility, and fun."

Walter White Walk GIF by Breaking BadGiphy

Some of the newest middle name trends are wild. Literally. "Wild" is one of the more popular middle names for babies, according to Kihm's article. After looking at over one thousand baby name announcements from last year, Nameberry predicted that the top names remained the classics. For girls, Rose, Grace, and Elizabeth topped the list. For boys, it was James, Alexander, and Michael.

That said, James also became popular as a second name for girls in the last decade, thanks in part to Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively choosing it for their daughter in 2014, after Ryan's late father. People Magazine reports, "When asked about the 'unusual' name choice for a girl on Good Morning Britain, Reynolds joked, 'In the spectrum of weird celebrity baby names, I don't really feel like we're breaking new ground here. I didn't call her Summer Squash Meadowlark.'" And now, it has even inspired more "grandpa" middle names than ever before for girls. On trend are Lou, Charles, Gene, and Claude.


Ryan Reynolds GIF by E!Giphy

And don't forget the colors. Kihm tells us, "Metallic hues Gold and Silver are beginning to climb the charts." Others on the list for babies born this year include Lavender, Teal, and Sage.

Perhaps most exciting on the list are middle names that conjure up strong feelings and virtues. Names like Love, True, Charm, and Reign. Think names that, if one were to become a pop star, they wouldn't need any other identifier. Also, new for boys are dreamy but robust names like Bear, Ocean, and Wolf. For girls, Bloom, Jupiter, and Valentine are coming into style.

brown wolf standing boulder during daytime Photo by Darren Welsh on Unsplash

Reddit has some thoughts. In the subreddit r/namenerds, someone posed the question, "What are your favorite unique middle names?" There were over 200 comments with suggestions, including Darling, Night, Day, Lark, Ember, and Rock.

A few people point out that some of these choices depend on culture. "In Arab/Muslim culture, the middle name of the child will be 'daughter/son of [father's name].'" Another person adds, "My country usually ends names in -ov for men and -ova for women. So if my granddad is Ivan, my middle name would be Ivanova."

A Redditor contributes this fascinating selection: "My middle name is First. My first name is August." When someone joked, "Thought you were going to say April for a moment there," they replied, "I did once work with an April. I just called her 'Four Months Before Me.'"

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Parenting

Parents reveal 8 genius hacks for introducing toddlers to newborns without jealousy

Lucie Fink, shared her family's tips for introducing toddlers to their newborn baby siblings without sparking jealousy.

Photo credit: Canva

A little effort can go a long way.

Welcoming a newborn into the family is usually a magical occasion. There are pictures to be taken; first moments that must be documented. But for a child, this can be an unsettling experience. One day, it’s just them and their two doting parents. Then, out of nowhere, a tiny baby appears and starts hogging all the attention? How unfair.

Fortunately, there are several strategies parents can use when introducing a toddler to a newborn to minimize feelings of jealousy. In a viral TikTok video, Lucie Fink—a mom of two and host of The Real Stuff podcast—shared how she and her husband successfully introduced their baby girl to Milo, their toddler son, while keeping any potential jealousy at bay. Since it was posted in early February 2025, the video has been met with overwhelming positivity online, garnering 1.6 million likes and over 11 million views.


Child on floor cryingUpsetting, to say the least. Photo credit: Canva


“As a child development major… YES.”

The video begins with Lucie, still in her hospital gown, welcoming her husband and son into the postpartum unit. “I got a balloon for you!” exclaims her toddler. Using strategically placed overlaid text, she details the 8 techniques she and her husband used while introducing their toddler to his newborn baby sister, including adding photos of him to the baby’s bassinet (to make him feel special and included) and transferring the baby to Milo’s arms calmly and intentionally when he was ready and asked to hold her.


Screenshot, woman in hospital bed with child and adult man in roomThe first step toward a lifelong friendship.TikTok, Credit: @luciebfink


Sibling rivalry isn’t inevitable

While sibling rivalry is normal (according to child specialist Alexander K.D. Leung, it “occurs between most, if not all, siblings to varying degrees” and “is as old as mankind”), unmanaged competitive feelings in childhood can lead to psychological problems later in life. “A child who feels threatened of losing parental affection and love may react with rejection or hate towards a new sibling who is often perceived as an ‘intruder,’” Leung notes in his 1991 research article. “This is more common if the child feels insecure as a result of overprotective, excessive domination, parental impatience, or excessive discipline.”

Sibling rivalry begins here, at the onset. Even parents who handled their first child easily may be surprised by the new, constantly shifting dynamics a second baby can bring. Although you can prepare a child for months, even years, to become an older sibling, until they experience it, they won’t actually know what it feels like. Suddenly, it seems like their emotional and physical needs are in direct competition with the baby’s: Who gets their parents’ attention? Who deserves to be fawned over? These changes are real—and scary!—for a child and can cause them to act out or revert to previously outgrown baby behavior, according to the Association of Child Psychotherapists. They write: “It must be remembered that it is the parents who choose to have another baby, not the older sister or brother. They have no say in the matter, and what is, to you, largely a source of happiness may be nothing of the sort to your child.”


baby swathed in pink blanket "It is the parents who choose to have another baby, not the older sister or brother."Photo credit: Canva


8 ways to reduce jealousy, according to Lucie Fink

When the child first enters the room, don’t mention the baby. Instead, focus on them. In the video, we see Lucie greet her son Milo solo, with the baby nearby but out of sight. Although he’s excited to meet her, Lucie stays focused on her son, making direct eye contact and creating a special one-on-one moment just for them.

Place the baby off to the side in a bassinet, so your arms are free to cuddle the other child. At first, Milo is focused solely on the baby, but with his mom’s loving invitation, he jumps into the hospital bed next to her. “Get cozy!” she insists, and the two burrow beneath the plush blanket together.

children, parenting hacks, ice cream, jealousy, parenting advice, parenting tipsTwo children watch another child eating ice creamImage via Cana

Arrange photos of the older child in the baby's bassinet to remind them that they're special and included. "Look, she was looking at pictures of you all day," Lucie says warmly, picking up a photo from the bassinet to show Milo. Several large photos of him are prominently displayed around the baby—a simple yet powerful symbol of their new beginning as siblings.

Transfer the baby calmly and intentionally, waiting for the older child to be ready and to specifically ask to hold them. Don’t rush or force the process. “The preparation of existing children for a new sibling helps to reduce sibling rivalry,” reminds child specialist Alexander K.D. Leung. “Patience, love, understanding, common sense, and humor are important parental skills necessary to minimize sibling rivalry.” Once settled and secure next to his mom, Milo puts out his arms excitedly and asks: “Can I hold?” As his father lowers the baby into his arms, Lucie chimes in with assurance, “Oh, you got her.” Soon, the two are bonding for the first time, and Milo holds his baby sister close.


parenting advice, parenting hacks, parenting, family, modern families, babies, toddlers, affectiontwo children hugImage via Cana

Family hugs signify that you’re a unit. Before long, the dad exclaims, “Family hug!” and the four embrace. Instead of Milo feeling like an outsider, the tender moment reflects a carefully arranged message: “We’re all excited to welcome the fourth member of our family.”

Let the older child hold the newborn at home, but only when they want to. “We try not to pressure him or continually ask if he wants to,” writes Lucie. Finding the perfect balance is key: while it’s important to involve your toddler in baby-related tasks, don’t demand too much of them.


parenting, parenting advice, parenting hacks, children, babies, family A parent waves their finger at a babyImage via Canva

Don’t blame the baby for not being able to attend to their needs. According to BetterHelp, “When a child feels like they must compete for their parent’s love and attention, this feeling might lead to animosity, which can increase over time.” Especially during this transition time, elder children must be reminded that they’re also a priority. Instead of saying, “I need to take care of the baby” or “The baby needs this right now,” Lucie recommends switching up the responsibility. Try: “Daddy’s just finishing up!” or “Mommy will be right there.

Include them in the caretaking process. Lucie writes that with her son, they tell him that it’s “the whole family’s job to work together to care for our weakest member.” Not only will your toddler love having something to do, but simple tasks—asking them to pass you a bottle during feeding time or to please entertain their younger sibling in the backseat when they're fussy—will give the older child a sense of purpose and help them feel more involved.


woman holding newborn babySibling rivalry can't be avoided, but it can be minimized. Photo credit: Canva


Why it’s important to put your toddler first sometimes

While a new baby demands constant attention—and sometimes, your sleep-deprived brain goes on auto-pilot—taking time to acknowledge your toddler’s big feelings is crucial. Even the smallest gesture, like asking for help instead of demanding it, can help build the foundation for a long-lasting, harmonious relationship between siblings. However, if left unaddressed, sibling rivalry can manifest as verbal or physical attacks, persistent demands for attention, or as regressive phenomena” in children. As adults, that behavior can morph into open aggression, cruel manipulation, or avoiding each other altogether.

A study about family dynamics conducted at Cornell University found that after multiple interviews with mothers and their adult children, only 15% of children felt their parents treated them equally compared to their siblings. The research also showed that siblings develop stronger bonds when parents consistently work to treat them fairly and give equal attention to each child.

While parenting often feels unpredictable, Lucie Fink and her husband (along with Milo and the new baby!) demonstrate that small, thoughtful efforts toward your firstborn can make an enormous difference. Watch her entire parenting video below.


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