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Adorable 'Haka baby' dance offers a sweet window into Maori culture

Stop what you're doing and let this awesomeness wash over you.

@focuswithdan/TikTok

A young Māori performing his haka dance.

If you've never seen a Māori haka performed, you're missing out.

The Māori are the indigenous peoples of New Zealand, and their language and customs are an integral part of the island nation. One of the most recognizable Māori traditions outside of New Zealand is the haka, a ceremonial dance or challenge usually performed in a group. The haka represents the pride, strength, and unity of a tribe and is characterized by foot-stamping, body slapping, tongue protrusions, and rhythmic chanting.

Haka is performed at weddings as a sign of reverence and respect for the bride and groom, at funerals, at other significant events, and are also frequently seen before sports competitions, such as rugby matches.

The intensity of the haka is the point. It is meant to be a show of strength and elicit a strong response—which makes seeing a tiny toddler learning to do it all the more adorable.

Here's an example of a rugby haka:

Danny Heke, who goes by @focuswithdan on TikTok, shared a video of a baby learning haka and omigosh it is seriously the most adorable thing. When you see most haka, the dancers aren't smiling—their faces are fierce—so this wee one starting off with an infectious grin is just too much. You can see that he's already getting the moves down, facial expressions and all, though.

@focuswithdan When you grow up learning haka! #haka #teachthemyoung #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp #foryou #kapahaka ♬ original sound - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

As cute as this video is, it's part of a larger effort by Heke to use his TikTok channel to share and promote Māori culture. His videos cover everything from the Te Reo Māori language to traditional practices to issues of prejudice Māori people face.

Here he briefly goes over the different body parts that make up haka:

@focuswithdan

♬ Ngati - Just2maori

This video explains the purerehua, or bullroarer, which is a Maori instrument that is sometimes used to call rains during a drought.

@focuswithdan Reply to @illumi.is.naughty Some tribes used this to call the rains during drought 🌧 ⛈ #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp ♬ Pūrerehua - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

This one shares a demonstration and explanation of the taiaha, a traditional Māori weapon.

@focuswithdan Reply to @shauncalvert Taiaha, one of the most formidable of the Māori Weaponry #taiaha #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp #foryou ♬ original sound - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

For another taste of haka, check out this video from a school graduation:

@focuswithdan When your little cuzzy graduates and her school honours her with a haka #maori #māori #haka #focuswithdan #fyp #graduation @its_keshamarley ♬ Te Kura Kaupapa Māori o Ngāti Ruanui - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

Heke even has some fun with the trolls and racists in the comments who try to tell him his culture is dead (what?).

@focuswithdan Credit to you all my AMAZING FOLLOWERS! #focuswithdan #maori #māori #followers #fyp #trolls ♬ original sound - sounds for slomo_bro!

Unfortunately, it's not just ignorant commenters who spew racist bile. A radio interview clip that aired recently called Māori people "genetically predisposed to crime, alcohol, and underperformance," among other terrible things. (The host, a former mayor of Auckland, has been let go for going along with and contributing to the caller's racist narrative.)

@focuswithdan #newzealand radio in 2021 delivering racist commentaries 🤦🏽‍♂️ #māori #maori #focuswithdan #racism DC: @call.me.lettie2.0 ♬ original sound - luna the unicow

That clip highlights why what Heke is sharing is so important. The whole world is enriched when Indigenous people like the Māori have their voices heard and their culture celebrated. The more we learn from each other and our diverse ways of life, the more enjoyable life on Earth will be and the better we'll get at collaborating to confront the challenges we all share.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Family

Dad demonstrates how to calm a crying baby in 18 seconds flat

It's like magic.

Photo by Raul Angel on Unsplash

This tip is a life saver.

Anyone who's had a baby knows how the sound of crying can feel like torture. Literally.

If you're lucky, you get a baby who rarely cries, but some babies spend weeks or months being screechy, colicky little fussbuckets whose unbearable cuteness is the only thing that keeps you from throwing them out the window. (If you haven't had one of those babies, that may sound horrifying, but if you know, you know.)

Sometimes babies cry because they're hungry, which is a problem easily fixed. Sometimes babies cry because their diaper is soiled—also an easy fix. Sometimes babies cry because they are clearly overtired—easy to fix on paper, but not always so simple in practice. Still, you at least know what's bugging them.

But sometimes babies cry and you can't figure out why. It might be gas, but they can't say, "My tummy hurts." Maybe they want to be held or cuddled, but not like that. Nope, not like that. Not like that, either. Perhaps they see all these big humans doing things they can't do and they're just mad about being a helpless baby. Who knows?

With fussy babies, the traditional "feed them, change them, rock them" advice often doesn't make a dent. The crying can make you feel like you're losing your mind, so if someone figures out a trick to get them to stop—even for a while—it feels like a godsend.

That's one reason this video of a dad demonstrating how he gets his baby to stop crying in 18 seconds flat has gone viral.

In a TikTok video, Jonathan, aka "Tuque Daddy," shows how he holds his 2-month-old son with one hand and wraps his little arms across his body in a "self hug" with the other. Then he holds one hand over the baby's arms and torso and the other cradling him under the diaper. A little gentle bobbing in this position and voila! Baby stops crying in 18 seconds.

Watch the magic happen (and just ignore the rogue "8" that gets stuck on the screen):

@tuquedaddy

Reply to @king.marcellius I wanna see people try!! Duet this and try if you can!! I wanna see y’all super heroes 🥰🥰🥰 #tuquedaddy #fypシ #parenting

See how even just a few seconds of that crying sends an electric jolt down your spine? It was enough for some commenters to say "Maybe I need to rethink wanting a baby." (My 13-year-old son came into the room while I was watching the video and said, "That's so annoying. How did you have babies?" Yep, that was you, dude. You're welcome. After the second viewing, he actually said, "Wow. Sorry.")

But then the unbearable cuteness comes in, doesn't it? Gracious, that little one's face at the end. It's amazing how quickly babies can take us from "Arrrrgh" to "Awwww."

And this daddy's gentle patience and reassurance is a beautiful cherry on top. "You alright, my boy?" So dang sweet.

Speaking of sweetness (and unbearable cuteness), check out Tuque Daddy's convo with his boy in another video:

@tuquedaddy

Paid actor 🤣 #tuquedaddy #fypシ #daddio #funny #baby #boy #dadsoftiktok @housecoatmommy

And as for the way he calmed the baby down? That's a legitimate technique that a "magician pediatrician" in Santa Monica, California shows the parents of his patients. Dr. Robert Hamilton has been treating babies and kids for more than three decades. His video describing "the hold" has been viewed more than 53 million times on YouTube and he has been featured in videos all around the world for his ability to almost instantly calm babies down.

If you have a baby in your life, give "the hold" a try the next time they're crying and see if the magic happens for you.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Joy

Meet a mom who takes care of people's babies while they make huge parenting decisions.

This is what it's like to be an 'interim parent.'

Photo by Stacey Natal/Total City Girl used with permission.

Jillian, “...my heart skips a beat."


I'm trying desperately to be respectful of the person speaking to me, but my husband keeps texting me.

First he sends me a selfie of him with Rafi*, then it's an account of who stopped him on his way into the NICU.

Then, he suggests I take a selfie with Jillian* so he can post them side-by-side on Facebook and boast that we finally have two babies.

People will ask if they're twins, I'm sure. But they're not twins. In fact, the babies aren't even ours.

Man and woman each holding a baby

James' dream come true: Two babies! Rafi in the NICU with Tatte, Jillian at home with Eema.

Photo by Ann Lapin, used with permission.

I take care of these babies because I'm what's known as an "interim parent."

Two young girls with a laptop, bottles, and a baby.

Over the past four years, my family has cared for 22 newborns.

Photo by Ann Lapin, used with permission.

The program I'm part of is rare; there are very few like it in the United States.

While the babies are in my care, the birth parents retain their legal rights as parents and are encouraged to visit their babies (if that's something they would like).

Three children hold a baby

My three kids with our baby before he meets his forever mommy.

Photo by Ann Lapin, used with permission.

If they weren't in the care of interim moms like me, these tiny babies might wait in the hospital a few extra days while their adoptions are finalized—or they might enter the foster care system.

In New York and most states, biological parents have 30 days after adoption proceedings begin to change their minds about their placement plan.

I became an interim parent when a local mom posted about it on our neighborhood Yahoo! group.

"That! THAT I can do!" I thought, as I looked at the computer screen.

I was thrilled. I felt incapable of doing other types of volunteer work, but I felt like I had finally found a community service that I could perform. So, my husband and I applied. And after months of doctor appointments, background checks, interviews, and letters of reference from close friends, we were accepted.

Woman with three children pushes an empty a stroller

We left the adoption agency with an empty stroller — but it didn't stay that way for long!

Photo by Stacey Natal/ Total City Girl, used with permission.

The hope with the interim boarding care program is that biological parents have time to gain clarity about their decisions without pressure.

It also helps adoptive parents feel secure in their status as parents.

The children don't usually get the chance to be present when one of our babies goes home, so this was a special day. Roughly 30% of the babies I've cared for have returned to their biological parents after their stay with me, and the rest have been adopted. Many of the birth mothers I've known have pursued open adoptions, selecting and meeting their child's forever families.

People often ask me what the experience of interim parenting is like, but there's no rule: Each case is different.

Babies stay with us, on average, for a few weeks. But one baby stayed with us with five days, another for nine and a half weeks.

Whatever the scenario, my family and I are available to care for these babies until they go home ... wherever "home" may be.

Woman looks into a baby carrier

This work can be emotionally challenging, too.

Photo by Stacey Natal/Total City Girl used with permission.

This work can be emotionally challenging, too. Some biological parents do not interact with us at all while they're making big decisions, and some end up being very involved. Some text regularly, requesting photos and updates on the baby while the baby is in our care. Sometimes they schedule weekly visits with the babies. One birth mom became such a constant in our life that my son asked if we could bake her cookies.

I am often blown away by the biological parents' gratitude.

Melody* was one of the most beautiful babies I'd ever cared for, and I met her parents a couple of times. When they came to take her home, it was as though she was the only one in the room. When they thanked me for taking care of her, my lip started to quiver.

I had also never met Jibraan's dad, either, when I placed him in his arms the day they went home together. "From the bottom of my heart ... I can't tell you what you've done for me," he said. I remember that he towered over me, the size of a linebacker, clenching his jaw to keep the tears from spilling down his cheeks.

Woman smiling on the phone

Big smiles and on the phone.

Photo by Stacey Natal/Total City Girl, used with permission.

When I wave goodbye to the social workers at the agency after introducing each baby to their forever family, I always wonder how long it will be before I get to hold another baby.

I don't get attached to each baby, per se. But I get attached to having a baby, to taking care of a baby. I resent my empty arms, and I feel like I've lost my purpose. So each time I see the adoption agency's phone number pop up on caller ID, my heart skips a beat.

When the voice on the other end says, "Hi, Ann ... are you ready to take another baby?" my first thought is, "Baby! I'm getting a BABY!" That excitement lasts for at least 48 hours.

But even as the adrenaline calms down and the sleepless nights begin to take their toll, the experience of caring for each baby proves to be more than enough motivation for me to keep going.

The emotions that swell when my babies go home with any parent—their adoptive parents or their birth parents—are not just because of the emptiness I feel in my arms or even because of the happiness I have for my babies and their families.

The emotions I feel are because of the fullness in my heart and the gratitude I have for being a part of each of these babies' stories, even if it's just for a moment.


This article was written by Ann Lapin and originally appeared nine years ago.

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7 aunts, uncles and grandparents dance to entertain the only baby in their family

First child moments are really magical.

Blair.Bear.RN/TikTok

Have you ever people say that only children are lonely? One family from Tifton, Georgia would like to respectfully disagree! Mom, nurse, and TikTok creator Blair recently sat down with her family for Thanksgiving and just had to capture the scene. All the grandparents, aunts, and uncles at the table decided to put on a show for her baby, Jax. As the only baby in the family — the only grandkid and only nephew — everyone was excited to chip in and show him a good time at the table.

You've just got to see all seven adults going absolutely nuts to Chappell Roan's Pink Pony as a bewildered Jax looks on from his high chair. Eventually, even he can't resist getting in on the action, and he breaks out a few sweet torso-only dance moves of his own. I'd say they successfully kept him entertained!

@blair.bear.rn

My boy has some MOVES. 🕺🩵 #happyturkeyday #thanksgiving #happythanksgiving #turkey #onlychildlife #onlygrandkid #nephew #son #momsoftiktok #momlife #family #familytime #ivf #ivfsuccess #fyp #nursesoftiktok

Blair's video went unexpectedly viral, racking up over 2 million views and thousands of comments. People were blown away by the pure joy and love radiating off the screen in the short clip.

"He really said 'ya know what, hell yeah. These people are crazy and I love it' 🥺" the top comment read.

"You can feel the love that everyone has for that baby through the screen," wrote one commenter.

Others couldn't help but share their own stories of everyone in the family showering attention on one baby.

"My 4yo is the only grandchild and only neice and we spent 3 hours after dinner watching her 'perform' her original songs and dances for the family 🤣There are a lot of reasons, the cost of having kids being a big one," said another user.

"This is my entire family with my daughter 🤣 she’s the only granddaughter, great granddaughter, and niece and gets ALL the attention 🤣🤣🤣," someone wrote.

It seems Blair's family isn't the only one who loves letting the only-babies be the center of attention.

Whether it's an intentional choice or just temporary, there's something really magical about only having one kid.

person carrying baby while reading book Photo by Picsea on Unsplash

Something called "one-and-done parenting" has become more and more common in recent years; that is, having one child and then calling it a day. There are a lot of reasons for the rise in only-child households — the high cost of childcare and other expenses, for example — but there are a lot of upsides as well.

With one kid in the family, you (and your extended family) get to shower them in love and affection (just like in Blair's video), give them all of your resources and support, and still have a little time leftover for yourself. That gets a lot harder to do when you have multiple children.

It also gives you time and space to be a more intentional parent. It's a lot easier to plan and execute the type of parent you want to be, the lessons you want to teach, when you can focus your energies on one, versus running around in a panic trying to wrangle multiple kids at once.

When my firstborn was little, I remember things being so different. She'd get full attention from both me and my wife at bedtime, and sometimes from grandma, too, if she happened to be visiting. We'd read books, sing songs, and play games — two on one! Bedtime now that I have two girls is a lot more frantic and chaotic. There are still books and lots of laughters, but those early days had a special kind of magic to them.

Some might look at this clip and think that the baby will end up spoiled by all the attention. Survey says? Not likely! Stereotypes about only children (lonely, spoiled, maladjusted) are just that: Stereotypes. And they're typically not true. There's no amount of love that's too much. So feel free to go absolutely nuts, all you grandparents and aunts and uncles out there!

Blair says Jax is so especially meaningful to her and her family because of her experience with IVF:

"My husband and I spent 8 years trying to have a baby before we were able to pursue IVF. We only had one embryo that survived the process, and when we finally transferred it, we were blessed with our little Jax. So when I take videos like this, I get to cherish every single second of our family loving our little boy as much as we love him. I think the people of TikTok saw a family that is willing to do whatever it took to make a little boy smile and it put a smile on everyone's face that was watching too."

Having a big family with a bunch of kids is a ton of fun, but it's so cool to see how Blair's video captured how special and magic it is the first, and maybe, only time around, and how much it means to everyone in the family when an amazing new person gets added to the mix.

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