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Older people share the surprising ways the world is better than the one they grew up in

These unsung marks of progress might be a refreshing antidote to the doom scrolling.

Life is certainly different than it used to be. In bad ways, and in incredibly good ways.

Listen, the world today is far from perfect, but staying objective by focusing on the real marks of progress that have been made can keep those feelings of despair and powerlessness at bay, which don’t always do much to help us be the change we wish to see and all that.

Perhaps this is where the wisdom of growing older comes in. Recently, older adults weighed in on the different ways the world now is better than the one they grew up in, and the responses reveal not just the sweeping advances in technology and social justice, but incredible advancements that kind of go unsung for the most part. Check out some of the most eye-opening answers below:

Everyday Life

By and large, there are more options, opportunities and outlets than ever before.

Photo credit: Canva

"Food options for both home cooking and restaurants are much better and more varied."

"If you have niche hobbies and interests, you can actually engage in those things nowadays. Whether it be esoteric books, music, or whatever else, you don't need to travel to the ends of the earth to pursue such things. In the '70s and '80s? Good luck with that."

"It's easier to be single. There's less pressure to be paired and less public shame. Romantic relationships should enhance our lives, not be a requirement to achieve some cultural version of success. I love how it is now! It's very, very good."

"Being a nerd or geek nowadays won't get you ostracized."

Health

Not just medical advancements, but also an increase of awareness regarding mental health subjects. And look, while there's plenty wrong with the healthcare system, there are more free and low cost options with the introduction of resources like Medi-cal, which one person noted.

Photo credit: Canva

"Improved medicine. My mom lived for decades with conditions that her mom would have died from. Many things that were death sentences before are now chronic conditions."

"The openness in which we discuss mental health. While there are improvements still to be made, I think it's great (especially for our youth) that we've created a forum where people can ask for help."

"There was no Medicare or Medicaid for anyone when I was growing up. Now, I'm on both."

"Thanks to modern science and medicine, I have an implant in my brain that allows me to hear after 55 years of being profoundly hard of hearing, even with the most powerful hearing aids. It's awesome, and I wouldn't go back in time for anything."

Social Justice

This is a powerful reminder of why need to keep fighting for equality.

Photo credit: Canva

"Women have less trouble getting jobs that pay pretty well. It used to be that employers could actually advertise (in the newspaper) whether they're looking for a man or a woman, what age they want, and they could even mention they're looking for someone attractive to hire. There is also less gender stereotyping and harassment. We still have a long way to go, but it used to be so much worse than it is now!"

"I grew up in Georgia and Tennessee in the '50s and '60s, so you know where this is going. I remember when watching Black people on TV and holding hands with a white person wasn't allowed. I remember how, in 1966, our high school had 1,200 students, and only three were Black. I left the US in the '80s, but I love coming back and seeing mixed-race couples being the norm. I also love seeing men in buns and tattoos. How far we've come."

"I like being able to buy property, get credit, keep my own name, keep teaching even if I'm unmarried and pregnant, get an abortion if I need one (where I live, anyway), and divorce my husband if I want to."

"I don't have to go to jail just for being a pothead anymore."

"My bullies figured out I was gay before I even knew what it meant. They made the next eight years miserable for me. When I watched the news with my family, I saw segments about gay rights and tried to make it look like I wasn't interested, but I was filing the information away. When the series Soap came out, and Billy Crystal played a gay character, I was amazed. I continued seeing more gay characters show up, and I knew things were changing. I feel like I've witnessed an incredible transformation of American culture. I know there are plenty of more things that need to change, and we lurch backward at times, but the last 50 years have been amazing to me."

Environmental

As we are currently dealing with yet another crises related to climate change with the Los Angeles fires, it's worth noting that improvements were made possible through collective action, and can be made again.

Photo credit: Canva

"Oh god, the smog and pollution were really bad in the early '70s. I don't know how to describe to you what it was like to wake up every day in the summer and just see fog and haze. Everything was dirty. During one springtime, acid rain could damage your car's paint. It was gross. I don't have much good to say about Nixon, but the EPA and the Clean Air Act really made a difference in the quality of life for most Americans."

Technology

The next time you have a meltdown over your bluetooth not syncing properly, give these a read.

Photo credit: Canva

"Cars are safer, quieter, more easily operable, and longer-lived now. As a kid, getting any car to 100,000 miles was a cause for celebration. Now, that's the nominal lifespan of any car. Fuel mileage is amazingly better, plus there's widespread hybrid and EV development — things that were science fiction when I was a kid."

"Navigation software on the phone and in the car. I rarely get lost anymore or have to rely on bad directions."

"I can find out how to fix almost anything on YouTube. After years of fixing my stuff through YouTube, I can now fix most things around the house without having to call anyone or incur the cost of a professional. And it's so much more convenient. Oh, there's a leak in the pipe? Let me run to the shed, get my PVC-fixing stuff, and get everything settled in a couple of hours. So many things that seemed complicated to fix, I learned to do thanks to some videos and a few essential tools."

"Here's one that's a little less obvious: LED light bulbs. The LED light bulb in my front porch light has been going strong since 2013. Also, my parents are in their 80s, so it's nice for them. I replaced every bulb in their house with LED, because changing a bulb in a ceiling fixture when you're 80 is not fun."

"I'm never bored anymore. Growing up, I was bored so often it made me angry. But these days, I have endless books, games, good TV, and hobbies to turn to. Some of that is due to being an adult with money, but streaming, eBooks, and digital games are also a huge part."

"How easy it is to learn new things. There is so much great content online covering everything — from investing to theoretical physics to medieval boat building (if you're into that). None of it would even be approachable for 'regular' folks just a couple decades ago."

"The ease of communication at a very low cost. Back in my youth, long-distance phone calls weren't cheap, so we didn't communicate long distances much. Oh, and being able to get reasonably fresh fish in a non-costal city today is quite a plus."

And there you have it. Just a little respite against the doom scrolling to bolster our spirits and believe that change is indeed possible.

Pop Culture

Adults who lived through the 80s share what pop culture gets wrong about the time period

"Pop culture acts like the '80s were just a sea of nothing but neon for 10 years."

Representative Image from Canva

Okay, but everyone DID have big hair. Right?

Judging by Gen Z’s Y2K-inspired fashion trends, you’d think the 2000s were nothing but people walking around the mall in pleated miniskirts and bucket hats. We can mostly chalk this up to the depiction of the era in movies like “Clueless” and “13 Going on 30.” Anyone born before the 90s can tell you that life was definitely not like that. But hey, sometimes fantasy is more fun.

Same goes for other time periods as well. For those of us without a degree in history, much of how we picture other eras is influenced by pop culture. Like how we think of Victorian women being obsessed with waist cinching thanks to almost every Hollywood movie showing a woman getting bound by an excruciating tight corset. Yep, that was previously debunked.


And sure, some movies and TV series, like “Mad Men” or “Schindler’s List,” make painstaking efforts to achieve historical accuracy. But often, they are works of fiction, and creative liberties are taken. And those liberties create the world for those who did not live in it.

That can even be said of the 80s, rife with Cold War threats and colorful leggings. Or…was it?

Recently, user Jerswar asked Reddit: "People who were adults in the 1980s: What does pop culture tend to leave out?"

Here are the raddest, gnarliest, most tubular response people gave.

1."The insane amounts of smoking inside. Especially in restaurants."

"When I worked in a restaurant, the smokers (backroom dishwashers/cooks) got more chances to sit around and take breaks to smoke. Then, when I got an office job, people had ashtrays at their desks. Often, the ashtrays were hand-made by a young relative in an elementary school class."

2." Anything we wore that wasn't neon. Pop culture acts like the '80s were just a sea of nothing but neon for 10 years."

via GIPHY

“And as if every girl and woman was dressed up in tulle tutus with off-the-shoulder lace shirts and a giant bow tied atop our heads.Not all of us were lucky enough to have our parents buy us new outfits like that. My wardrobe was full of old hand-me-downs. No neon, lace or tulle in the bunch."

"I graduated high school in 1984, and never dressed like Madonna or wore neon anything. We were poor, so it was crappy jeans that never got soft and T-shirts until I got a job. Even after that, I wore cords and overalls and sweaters from Chess King."

3. "How much decor from the '70s and '60s were still in houses and offices throughout the decade."

"This is something that I thought 'Stranger Things' REALLY got right. All the kids' houses look like they were built and decorated in the 1960s–'70s, which is how it really was. Nobody was living in fancy candy-colored Memphis-style apartments except California yuppies."

4. "I was born in the early '80s. I've been totally blind since birth. In the '80s, accessibility was virtually non-existent.That new Nintendo that the kids had? Good luck. Scholastic Book Club? Not in braille or audio. Everything is in print. Nothing to see here for me or mine. Then computers finally got accessible and Windows came out and they had to start all over again. I wouldn't want to go back to the '80s. I now have my phone that I can use to access the world, read what is on my grocery labels, have pictures described to me, and basically know what's going on in the world. In the '80s, so much went by without any context, and that was in the formative years of my childhood."

nintendo, 80s nintendo, braille

We've come a long way when it comes to accessibility.

Representative Image from Canva

5. "Reading everything — literally everything — I could get my hands on. Cereal boxes, newspapers, magazines. Luckily, my library was a bike ride away but carrying those back on my bike was fun."

"OMG, you are so right. That reminds me of things I hadn't thought about in ages.I used to feel so very bored that I'd read anything that had text on it, from cans of food to cereal boxes to whatever books (however insipid) I could lay my hands on. Even the obituary notices in the newspaper were worth a read. The internet really did away with the boredom, didn't it?!"

Speaking of reading…

6. "Trying to find something to read in the bathroom to pass the time. I remember shampoo bottles and the contents of my wallet were my go-to's when a magazine or book was unavailable." "Yes! Shampoo bottles for desperate moments of boredom."


7. "Might be my own bias but being a kid in the '80s there was a lot of casual bullying and conformism. Not that bullying and conformism ever went away, but the '90s was more about counter-culture a bit."

8. "I was a child in the '80s, but something that I don't think I've ever seen in modern pop culture retellings of '80s life, which I recall witnessing, is this: people think of the weird, wacky, fun colors and hair, etc., of the 1980s — like Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Boy George styles. BUT for many people and mainstream communities, that was considered a 'weird' or 'rock and roll character' kind of presentation. People would often openly stare, laugh at, or disparage people who looked openly unique. It took a lot of courage to go out styled like that. It was acceptable to have a more 'subtle' take on the fun color trends."

via GIPHY

"I believe the best real-time representation/evidence of this is in Cyndi Lauper's 'Time After Time' music video, there’s a scene where she sits down in a diner with her boyfriend and his friends. She pulls off her cap to reveal her new hairstyle - half-shaved and dyed bright colors. Her boyfriend's friends start hysterically laughing, the boyfriend is quietly embarrassed, and she runs out of the diner in tears."

9. "TV was just adult shows for most of the week, especially during summer break. Just soap operas and other boring things." "Staying home sick from school and all there was to watch were game shows and soap operas until the Gilligan's Island reruns came on."

10. "The sheer sense of doom and pervasive low-key terror of nuclear war. The Soviets' nuclear arsenal pointing at us, and their nihilistic posturing in some ways remind me of the climate change dread we now have. Living with an existential threat is not something new."

"This is so completely underestimated or misunderstood. All through high school, I was convinced that the world would just end one day, and I'd have to figure out how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world afterwards. Yeah, we thought that people would survive an all-out nuclear war."

11. "The homophobia."

"It was casual, rampant, and virtually unquestioned. If you were gay or lesbian, and not living in a major city like New York or San Francisco, you were probably in the closet, at least to everyone but some close friends and (maybe) family. If you were trans, forget about it. Enjoy your life of dysphoria and misery. You don't really see that depicted so much in pop culture now."

"AIDS and '80s homophobia went hand in hand, and it's hard to overstate how much AIDS destroyed the gay community and how the dominant culture thought that was a good thing."

12. "Being a latchkey kid it was no frequent communication with your parents. I can't tell you how many times I stayed out all night as an 18-year-old and no one but who I was with knew where I was or what I was doing. My parents didn't know what I was doing all day as a 12–17-year-old, either! You only called your parents at work only if it was an emergency."

"Yes. It's almost like a 'parents didn't care' attitude that would be ascribed to that behavior now (but that wasn't right). Ma needed to work and that she didn't get home until 7 p.m. was just a reality. Oftentimes, she was gone when I got up and we had zero communication until she got home. I was just responsible for the whole shpiel of keeping myself alive."

13.The obsession people/media had about the '50s and '60s.”

via GIPHY

“Part of it was stuff like 'Back to the Future,' '50s-themed diners and baseball jackets being popular, then there was the 20th anniversary of things, like various Beatles albums. I think the boomers at that point were in positions of influence and were looking back on their teens and twenties with rose-tinted glasses, so the rest of us had to suffer these cultural echoes from the generation before."

14."Cruising. Before social media, we would drive up and down the street, see and be seen. Stop at different businesses, the cool kids hung out at the Walgreens parking lot, the jocks at the McDonald's. But it was a small town so we would stop at all of them during the evening. That was our social world along with keggers in the desert all through high school and for folks that stayed in town for years after high school.

"It was like a social network but with your car."

And lastly…

15. "What a mess it was to get cleaned up!”

via GIPHY

“That sparkle-blue eye shadow didn't come off easily and if it got in your eyes it was torture! That red lip gloss ran all over. And shampooing your hair three times to get out all the hairspray and the mousse. I loved the '80s and I had a marvelous time. But it was messy... but way worth it!"


This article originally appeared in April.

Albert Einstein

One of the strangest things about being human is that people of lesser intelligence tend to overestimate how smart they are and people who are highly intelligent tend to underestimate how smart they are.

This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect and it’s proven every time you log onto Facebook and see someone from high school who thinks they know more about vaccines than a doctor.

The interesting thing is that even though people are poor judges of their own smarts, we’ve evolved to be pretty good at judging the intelligence of others.


“Such findings imply that, in order to be adaptive, first impressions of personality or social characteristics should be accurate,” a study published in the journal Intelligence says. “There is accumulating evidence that this is indeed the case—at least to some extent—for traits such as intelligence extraversion, conscientiousness, openness, and narcissism, and even for characteristics such as sexual orientation, political ideology, or antigay prejudice.”

Reddit user Gisgiii posed a question to the AskReddit subforum: “What is a subtle sign that someone is really intelligent?”

The answers painted a clear picture of how smart people behave: They tend to be great communicators who understand their audience and are more concerned with getting things right than being right.

Here are 18 of the best answers.

1. They draw wisdom from multiple sources.

"They draw wisdom from multiple sources. Wait but that might be more wise than intelligent... But I guess those two tend to be seen together a lot," — Puzzlehead-Engineer

2. They know their audience.

"They can switch up the way they talk to match the person they're talking to without sounding condescending. They listen to how others learn and explain it in that person's language of understanding," — Wynonna99

3. They develop a keen sense for their job.

"I used to work with a doctor - Tom Howard - and the day I realized he was a genius was the time he guessed every single condition a patient of mine had based on minute pieces of information about him," — Yodei_Mon

4. Curiosity.

"They are curious about everything. To be intelligent you need to be knowledgeable and you can't be knowledgeable if you are never curious," — soup54461

5. They're great at conveying ideas.

"When they explain something they make you feel intelligent," — gwoshmi

6. Considerate questions.

"They spend time thinking before asking a question," — ParkMan73

7. They make hard ideas simple.

"They effortlessly communicate complex concepts in a simple way," — joculator

8. They know what they don't know.

"They know when their knowledge ends and say something to the extent of 'i don't know and anything else i say on this topic is ignorant speculation,'" — blutoboy

9. They ask great questions.

"They can ask really good questions."

"Edit: to anyone not understanding what mean, I’m talking about people who ask “really good questions”, not just any questions, really good ones. I don’t know how one would achieve this skill(I know I haven’t)," — milkmanbran

10. They don't pretend to know everything.

"They aren’t afraid to say they don’t know the answer to a question," — xchernx

11. They change their minds with new information.

"They admit to changing their mind about something," — FarAwayAdventure

12. They pivot well.

"They apply knowledge from one realm into a new and relevant situation," — soubestitch

13. They are open-minded.

"They can genuinely consider an idea which opposes their worldview without necessarily accepting it," — paidshill29

14. They use analogies.

"People who use analogies to explain concepts to others. It’s a form of code-switching and integrating concepts on the fly and is a clear indicator someone is both socially and conceptually intelligent," — SwimmerAutomatic2488

15. They don't argue.

"I think intelligent people are more willing to calmly debate/discuss, rather than argue. Like, you explain to them why you disagree, and they listen to you and ask further questions about your viewpoint before offering a different perspective; as opposed to an unintelligent person, who would just resort to insults when other people disagree with them," — AngelicCinnamonBun

16. They learn from mistakes.

"Admitting when they're wrong and being willing to learn from mistakes," — siyl1979

17. A sense of humor.

"Humor. I think that truly funny people are often very smart and cognizant of the different ways an idea can be humorous on several levels. They also know their audience. I think the difference between say a Jeff Foxworthy and a Dave Chappelle and a Bo Burnham is their audience and their interests," — biscuitboi967

18. A love of learning.

"They say they love learning and they learn something new every day. Then they listen more than talk," — throwingplaydough


This article originally appeared three years ago.

Is it manly enough to cradle a puppy?

Okay, we’ve come a long way in terms of rethinking gender norms. Fashion is less rigidly conforming (you’ve seen the man who rocks pencil skirts and stilettos, right?). More men are flourishing in jobs traditionally performed by women. And perhaps most importantly, there is a growing number of male support groups that encourage heartfelt communication and emotional well-being. That said, there still remain quite a few outdated belief systems when it comes to how we define masculinity.

Case in point, a recent Reddit thread sparked by the question: “Men of Reddit, what was the most ridiculous reason why someone questioned your masculinity?” Some of these answers are indeed head scratchers. Others are flat-out offensive. Here are 10 of the most egregious accounts:


1. Reading

men who readPhoto by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

I was reading a book on my lunch break while I was working construction, and got a bunch of sh*t about reading being for women.” – Middle-Eye2129

Went from women not being allowed to read to reading being only for women... what a world.” – Comprehensive-Ad4566

2. Practicing the most basic of safety measures

men of redditGiphy

One person wrote that their masculinity was questioned for “wearing gloves while welding.”

Because having all fingers intact makes you less of a man? Um … what?

Wear your gloves and fasten your safety belts, gentlemen. It’s okay. I'm pretty sure The Rock does.

3. Not eating the right foods

gender fluidGiphy

Had a friend give another friend shit because he wanted to eat a corn dog. He said grown ass men don’t eat corn dogs. Any man should understand.” – mondayortampa

It’s not just because of the distinct shape of certain foods garnering the “unmanly” label, either. See below:

My dad got sh*t from a guy he was working with because he was eating a plain bagel with butter on it and drinking chocolate milk because the guy said it’s childish. Dad never cared and just laughed at the guy for being an idiot. Who wouldn’t like that combo? It’s a great thing to eat!” – WhatsUpFishes

“My husband bought some of our homegrown raspberries into work to share and a guy he works with said they were ‘girl food.’ It must be so exhausting to have to gender your food.” – Pepperfig_clover

4. Or drinking the right drinks

gender normsPhoto by Atikh Bana on Unsplash

Went to a Mexican restaurant and we waited at the bar before we could get a table. This place has awesome strawberry blended margaritas so I got one. Apparently lime = straight, strawberry = gay.” – Thirty_Helens_Agree

5. Appreciating cleanliness

men doing female choresGiphy

“I've had both women I just started dating, and male acquaintances who have thought my clean apartment was an indication I was gay.” – NorCalDustin

6. Using pink … anything

men wearing pinkwww.publicdomainpictures.net

At work I gave a guy a report and it had a pink paperclip on it.

He asked me why I gave him a pink paperclip. I told him I just grabbed one. He then asked why I had a pink paperclip - I told him I had a rainbow pack.

Then he wanted to know why, when I saw it was pink, I didn't throw it away. He told me I shouldn't use pink paperclips [because] ‘people might have questions.’” – Everyday_Im_Stedelen

About 30 years ago, they came out with neon string lines. As I work construction, I am constantly using string to ensure things are straight. By far, the brightest of the strings was a pink one.

So, I was constantly chided by the crew for having a pink string. This only happened until it started getting closer to dusk, at which point they all wanted to borrow my string.” – Dioscouri

7. Not applying deodorant in a ‘manly way’

patriarchyGiphy

Somebody once told me I wasn't applying deodorant manly enough.” – PearSB

How do you apply deodorant in a manly manner?” – The_One_True_Disease

You set fire to the can and let it explode behind you as you look epically to the camera.” – Astrophobia42

8. Being kind

rethinking masculinitycommons.wikimedia.org

Got accused of being gay for being nice to people in the dive bar I go to... I guess it's not masculine to be nice to people.” – pgh613

9. Having daughters

dads and daughtersPhoto by Bermix Studio on Unsplash

When I was pregnant, with a girl, someone said to me, in front of my husband, ‘a real man would’ve given you a boy.’” – badmamathree

Someone should have said that to Henry VIII.” – BaldingMonk

Why do you think there was a protestant movement?” – ArthurBonesly

10. Allowing a woman to do manly things

toxic masculinityGiphy

I was taking a break from driving a forklift and a woman asked if she could drive it (she was qualified to drive it so this wasn't just a random question from a random person.) I agreed and this one guy got so offended that I let a woman take over driving the forklift from me. This was back when ‘mancard’ was a thing so he of course said I needed to turn in my mancard for that.

Unsurprisingly, it turns out this guy got offended at all kinds of things all the time though. If he thought someone wasn't doing something the "right" way, he would rant and whine about it.” – BrickFlock

This article originally appeared two years ago.