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The 'middle seat rule' and other unspoken airplane etiquette passengers should know

How are people who don't travel frequently supposed to know these things?

Photo credit: Canva

Avoid common faux pas on airplanes with these unwritten rules.

When you fly on an airplane, you agree to abide the passenger rules set by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), even if you don't know what all of them are. If a crew member catches you breaking an FAA rule, they will definitely let you know. But there are other "rules" of airline travel, largely unspoken and unwritten, that people who fly frequently abide by as well. If you don't travel a lot, you may not be aware of these rules, and it's not likely that someone will tell you if you break them, but knowing them makes air travel much more pleasant for everyone.

The middle seat rule

Most people have a preference for which seat they prefer—window, middle or aisle—with almost no one preferring to sit in the middle. (According to a survey from Going, 53% of people prefer the window seat, 46% prefer the aisle and a whopping 1% want the middle seat.) The window seat gets the views and control of the window shade and the aisle seat gets extra elbow room and controls when the row exits, but the middle seat only seems to come with down sides. Since the middle seat is basically the booby prize of air travel, the person who occupies it deserves to have at least one perk—control over the middle armrests.

empty row of airplane seatsThose two middle armrests go to the middle seat occupant.Photo credit: Canva

The middle seat rule means that the aisle and window seat occupants let person in the middle seat use the two middle armrests. What else do those poor souls have, really?

The rules of reclining

Few airline etiquette topics are more contentious than the "right to recline." The vast majority of economy airline seats have a button that allows the seat back to recline a few inches, but whether or not you should use it is a question without a clear answer. It's become even more of a question mark in the era of ever-shrinking legroom, with passengers fighting for every inch of space they can get.

Though people have strong opinions one way or the other, the general consensus for reclining "rules" seems to be that the courteous thing to do is 1) alert the person behind you that you want to recline, 2) don't recline during a meal, 3) avoid reclining on short-haul flights, 4) don't recline on someone who is using a laptop, and 5) when you do recline, ease the seat back slowly.

The headphones rule

There are actually two rules when it comes to headphones: 1) Wear them if you're watching or listening to something. No one wants to hear whatever you're watching or listening to. And 2) If someone's wearing headphones, don't try to chat them up.

woman wearing earbudsDon't talk to people wearing headphones or earbuds unless you really have to.Photo credit: Canva

Some people are airplane talkers and some aren't, but headphones a surefire way to signal that you're not up for chatting with strangers. If someone is wearing headphones or earbuds, that's a clear "please don't talk to me" sign, so unless there's something you really have to ask or tell someone wearing them, leave them to themselves.

The headrest rule

We all know getting in and out of the middle or window seats to go to the restroom can be a challenge, but if at all possible, try to avoid grabbing onto the headrests of the seats in front of you for leverage. It's better to move more slowly to climb your way across the seats than to seize someone's headrest like it's a grab bar. If you've ever tried to nap on a plane and had your headrest yanked suddenly with someone's full body weight, you understand this rule first hand.

The rules of deplaning

Getting onto a flight is a pretty orderly process since there are assigned seats and boarding groups and whatnot. But getting off the plane is another story. As soon as the plane parks at the gate and the seatbelt sign is turned off, it feels like the whole plane collectively thinks they'll just be able to stand up and walk off, but that's not how it works.

people sitting on an airplaneSit tight until the plane doors open and the front rows start emptying.Photo credit: Canva

First of all, it takes several minutes to get the plane doors ready to open, so standing up and filing into the aisle is a fairly useless practice (which also tends to make people feel a bit impatient). Sitting tight until the first people start actually deplaning keeps things a bit more relaxed.

But more importantly, some people seem to think deplaning is a free-for-all, with whoever can make it into the aisle with their luggage first taking priority, but that's not how it works. Emptying the plane row by row from the front to the back is The Way, so waiting patiently until the rows in front of you empty before filing out makes deplaning more efficient and less hectic.

Most unspoken rules, on airplanes or elsewhere, are based on common sense and/or courtesy. But since air travel comes with its own unique peculiarities, what's sensible or courteous may not be obvious, so it helps to have those rules explained. When everyone on the plane is on the same page, it makes for a much more pleasant travel experience for all.

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Joy

Grown woman and 10-year-old girl share a flight and become BFFs in the most adorable way

After watching "The Parent Trap" and "playing Sephora" these two were inseparable.

@sammypurr/TikTok

A grown woman and a 10-year-old girl become unlikely friends after sharing a two hour flight together.

We’ve heard plenty of airplane horror stories as of late, with a good chunk of those having to do with screaming babies and kids acting out. It’s enough to make anyone finding out they’re traveling next to a kid tense up a bit.

Luckily, this “kid on a plane” story is nothing like that.

Back in June, realtor Samantha Purnell found herself on a flight sitting next to Jazzy, a 10 year old girl flying alone. What could have been two awkward hours of silence (or worse) instead became the most wholesome friendship ever, and it was all caught on video.

In a now-viral TikTok clip, we see that the pair watched “The Parent Trap,” “played Sephora” (meaning Purnell let Jazzy peruse her makeup stash), and shared a snack of hard boiled eggs—that last part because Jazzy "wouldn't take 'no' for an answer."

There was even a sweet moment when Jazzy called herself “ugly” and Purnell stepped into giving sisterly advice without missing a beat.

“Don’t you ever say that! You’re stunning. Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever say that to yourself,” she told her new bestie.

Watch below and tell me this doesn't have major sleepover vibes.


@sammypur A seat buddy match made in heaven 🥹
♬ Funny - Gold-Tiger

Viewers were quick to note how this flight would probably be a positive core memory for Jazzy.

“She will remember this forever!!! You gave her a massive confidence boost at a really important stage in her life!!” said one person.

“This is every little girl’s dream,” added another.

The clip even made its way to Jazzy’s aunt, who wrote, “This is my niece and HER mom and I are very grateful for you! Jazzy was nervous to fly and you truly helped her so much!! Thanks for being there and being such an angel!! 😘😘😘🥰🥰”

But wait, there’s more!

Purnell conspired with Jazzy’s mom to make a surprise reunion happen. Jazzy was told she’d be going on a fishing trip with her day, when in reality Purnell was going to scoop her up to spend the entire day together. How sweet is that?!?!?

In that video, Jazzy screams with delight, saying “I’m so happy!” while tears flow.

The girl’s day then consisted of a Starbucks trip, more Sephora makeup (obviously), dancing, and fashionista fit check.

At one point, Jazzy even got to share her side of how they became BFFs.


@sammypur Girls day glam 💄 #grwm ♬ original sound - Samantha Purnell

“I felt really nervous. I started crying. I thought the plane was going to crash or something because the plane started shaking so much, and I said ‘Okay, I’m going to tell you my whole life story.’ And then we just started talking and then we became best friends,” she said.

Sometimes sisters are born into the same family, and other times they simply appear in each other’s lives…or in this case, on their flights. And we are so so here for this unexpected sisterhood.

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Joy

Passenger with no idea how to fly a plane makes emergency landing after pilot is incapacitated

Photo by Greg Rosenke on Unsplash

Coming into land… what does this joystick do?

Being a pilot is arguably one of the most demanding jobs in the world. People trust you with their lives and there is virtually zero margin for error. Yet professional pilots do it with seeming ease. If you have ever had the privilege of being in a cockpit while someone’s flying, you'll know they make it appear like it’s a task anyone with any amount of video game knowledge can do. Of course, it’s not that simple. Flying a plane takes up to a year of hands-on training depending on the type of aircraft you’d like to fly and the training program you attend.

Learning to fly a plane is almost always a voluntary decision, except in this one truly noteworthy instance.

A passenger with exactly zero flying experience was aboard a small private jet when the pilot appeared to have a medical emergency. The pilot of the single engine Cessna 208 became incoherent during the flight and the passenger had to take over unexpectedly after entering the cockpit and contacting air traffic control. The exchange was recorded on LiveATC audio.

The unnamed passenger informs Fort Pierce, Florida air traffic control, “I’ve got a serious situation here, my pilot has gone incoherent," he said on the radio. "I have no idea how to fly the airplane." After being asked what his position was, the passenger responded, "I have no idea. I see the coast of Florida in front of me and I have no idea."

Talk about a scary situation. Not only is the passenger experiencing an emergency with another human being, who he must’ve been concerned about, but now he’s charged with flying and landing a plane. That’s no easy feat, especially when likely your only experience with being a pilot is when you played Top Gun on your Sega Genesis in the '90s while your brother called you Goose.

It’s a safe bet that the video game wouldn’t have prepared him for his current predicament. Thankfully the concerned passenger had the wherewithal to figure out how to call for help from the people that are known for being cool under pressure.

Once air traffic control was aware of the dire situation, the controller immediately began trying to assist the passenger in keeping the wings level and making a safe descent. The controller continued guiding the passenger, saying "Maintain wings level and just try to follow the coast, either north or southbound. We're trying to locate you."

While the passenger was handling the pressure like a champ, there was a brief moment where he was unsure. “Have you guys located me yet?” the passenger asked. “I can’t even get my nav screen to turn on. It has all the information on it. You guys have any ideas on that?”'

Eventually the plane was located about 20 miles away from Boca Raton by air traffic control and it was guided to a safe landing at Palm Beach International Airport.

This will likely be a story this passenger tells well into old age and his grandchildren will scoff at the idea that it could be true. It’s also likely to be something that he hopes will never happen again, if he ever has the nerve to get on an airplane again.

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Science

The best way to board passengers on a plane—and why we'll likely never see it happen

CGP Grey/YouTube

The best way to board an airplane is one we'll probably never see happen.

Have you ever been boarding an airplane and said to yourself, "There's got to be a more efficient way to do this"?

People love to debate the quickest way to get people and their luggage aboard an aircraft. Every airline has its own method, which largely revolves around boarding people with some kind of status—first-class/premium seats or loyalty program status—first, followed by the nonstatus coach folk in various groupings. (I personally like to spend as little time as possible on the actual airplane, so I've never understood the "perk" of early boarding. I guess you get your pick of overhead bin space, but that alone isn't worth it to me.) Airlines are always tweaking their methods, both to be more efficient and to keep their customers happy.

But none of them do it in the truly most efficient way. And why not? Well, because people are involved.

If humans were robots we could program to do what we want them to do without getting their knickers in a twist over not getting to be first, we could theoretically board airplanes in a way that would minimize bottlenecks and get everyone seated quickly. But alas, we are not.

And what is the most efficient way? I would have assumed it would be back-to-front, but it's not. As a video from CGP Grey explains, boarding methods that intuitively seem like they might work best actually don't. There are several reasons for this, from the unpredictability of who is going to struggle to get their carry-on bag into the overhead bin to the fact that, as the video points out, "The human inability to follow instructions is breathtaking."

The video is really fascinating in addition to being entertaining. (There's poetry involved.) Check it out:

So it turns out the best way to board is every other row, back to front, window seats first, followed by the same pattern with middle and then aisle seats. Seems perfectly logical.

And the only barrier to this method is getting people to line up in a specific order? That doesn't seem like it should be that hard of a task. Southwest Airlines already does that with its boarding groups (everyone gets a number and lines up accordingly), though they don't have assigned seats. Has no airline ever even given it a try? Seems like it might be worth a shot at least.

And if nothing else, at least now we know that we're doing it all wrong. If we're going to be inefficient, we should at least be aware that we're doing it on purpose.

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