+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy

advice

Science

Turns out, "for better or for worse" is real, your spouse's moods can be contagious

From finances to daily routines, couples in different cultures share “emotional interdependence.”

via Unsplash
A married couple going to sleep.

The old adage, "Happy wife, happy life" is now backed by science, and though the rhyme doesn't work, the opposite is also true. According to new research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the well-being of married couples is deeply intertwined, with spouses influencing each other’s happiness, life satisfaction, and even emotional states over time. Intriguingly, this phenomenon seems to be universal across different cultures. Whether you’re in the United States or Japan, your partner’s mood shapes your own.

via GIPHY

Researchers led by Ryosuke Asano from Kurume University explored how couples in both the U.S. and Japan affect each other’s well-being through two main pathways: mutual influence (how one partner’s mood directly impacts the other) and shared environments (like household responsibilities, finances, and social circles). In other words, the ups and downs in one spouse’s life can reflect in their partner’s well-being, making married life a shared emotional roller coaster.

Well-being and “spousal interdependencies”

The concept of “spousal interdependencies” was first explored in American studies, but Asano and his team wanted to see if this pattern held in Japan as well. “I have been interested in close relationships and well-being throughout my career,” Asano shared. Inspired by a 2018 study on American couples, he wanted to find out if these “spousal interdependencies” transcended cultural boundaries.

via GIPHY

To investigate, the researchers gathered data from over 3,000 American couples aged 26 to 96 and more than 2,300 Japanese couples aged 24 to 76, surveying them at several points over time. They measured each person’s life satisfaction, emotional ups and downs, and even symptoms of depression, tracking how these factors played out in their relationships. Their goal? To see if the emotional link between partners in the U.S. would hold true in Japan, where marriage traditions and social norms differ.

Cultural similarities in the ups and downs of marriage

The study revealed something surprising: although American and Japanese cultures have different views on marriage, their couples still experienced similar “well-being interdependence.” Whether it’s financial pressures or day-to-day joys, couples in both countries showed nearly identical levels of mutual influence and shared environmental effects.

via GIPHY

One aspect that might seem surprising is just how similar the results were for couples in such different cultural contexts. Asano noted, “Estimates for spousal interdependencies in well-being…are of very similar magnitude for Americans and Japanese.” This means that while cultural nuances around marriage vary, the way spouses impact each other emotionally is nearly universal.

Boost your partner's mood and feel the benefits together

Since you're emotionally tied to your better half, making them happier can often be the quickest path to boosting your own mood. Consider these small but impactful gestures to lift your partner’s spirits and, by extension, brighten your own. Consider them tips for a bit of selfish selflessness.

Incorporating these practices into your daily life can enhance your partner’s happiness, fostering a more joyful and fulfilling relationship for both of you.

Takeaway: marriage really does mean "for better or worse"

While we often think of marriage as a partnership, this study shows just how intertwined partners’ emotional lives can become. When you’re married, it’s not just your own highs and lows you’re riding—it’s your spouse’s too. This research affirms that in both the U.S. and Japan, when one spouse feels a positive (or negative) shift in well-being, it’s likely to ripple across to their partner.

via GIPHY

In the end, the old saying might be truer than we realized. Marriage really does mean sticking together through thick and thin—literally sharing not just a life, but a mindset and mood. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, it turns out you’re in this together in more ways than one.

From Your Site Articles
marriage happiness
Health

6 too-real comics show what happens when work gets too heavy

Finding a good balance between working and relaxing can be difficult, but it doesn't have to be.

Image courtesy of College Humor

A reason to be late... tasty treats.


Everyone gets antsy about their jobs sometimes.

Maybe you notice you're less motivated than usual. Maybe you acknowledge that you're no longer going the extra mile, and you're not quite sure why. Maybe professionalism is a term you've long since forgotten.

For many of us, the struggle can be so, so real. That's why Willie Muse wrote these all-too-relatable comics for College Humor, illustrated by Karina Farek.

These six funny comics perfectly illustrate what a typical first day at your job looks like versus the 101st day:

1. Who doesn't look at at least one viral video a day?

music, work, employee rights, jobs

To tune or not to tune.

Image courtesy of College Humor

2. You suddenly find the time to fit in a breakfast sandwich.

breakfast, fast food, time

How do you miss out on a breakfast quickly served?

Image courtesy of College Humor

3. You go from wanting your boss's approval to hating his or her guts.

boss, employee, friendship, community

Getting to know your coworkers...

Image courtesy of College Humor

4. All the details that were once so important become nuisances.

job requirements, nuisances, work vacation

An evolution in responsibility and ethics?

Image courtesy of College Humor

5. Your (lack of) motivation can take you from hero to zero — quick!

motivation, work-life-balance, career

When an opportunity evolves into a responsibility.

Image courtesy of College Humor

6. And you most certainly DO NOT want to end up like this.

advice, labor, qualifications

Getting on the right side of fear.

Image courtesy of College Humor

Let's be real: These comics are funny, but they also aren't ideal.

In a perfect world, we'd all have jobs that still look and feel like Day 1 on Day 101. And one of the only ways to get there is to intentionally strive for a life that's full of work-life balance. We really do have the power to not let things play out like this.

What can we do?

At a most basic level, we can make sure we're getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing at least a little exercise. We also shouldn't underestimate the benefits of detaching from computer screens and smartphones every once in a while. Plus, we can also minimize our stress levels by not multitasking and instead concentrating on one task at time.

The most overlooked advice for maintaining a healthy work-life balance is to actually take time off.

Disconnect from your daily work routine. Make a conscious effort to recharge.

Perhaps if we dedicate more time to enjoying life outside of work, there's more of a chance that we'll be on Day 1 for months, feeling grateful for our jobs rather than impatiently waiting for the clock to strike 5. Let's get to it!


This article originally appeared on 10.25.16

From Your Site Articles
Identity

Gen X advice for Gen Z: Woman shares the things she wishes 'somebody told me in my twenties’

'You date people you think you deserve. You deserve better.'

via MelodyNoteVintage/TikTok

Gen Xer shares some timeless advice for Gen Z.

Meghan Smith is the owner of Melody Note Vintage store in the eternally hip town of Palm Springs, California, and her old-school Gen X advice has really connected with younger people on TikTok.

In a video posted in December 2022, she shares the advice she wishes that “somebody told me in my twenties” and it has received more than 13 million views. Smith says that she gave the same advice to her partner's two daughters when they reached their twenties.

The video is hashtagged #GenX advice for #GenZ and late #millennials. Sorry older millennials, you’re too old to receive these pearls of wisdom.

Here is some of the timeless advice that Smith shares in the video.

Perfection is bullshit.

You will never be more good-looking than you are today.

Put your phone down and enjoy your life.

Don't change for anybody.

Don't worry about making mistakes.

Laugh at yourself.

If somebody shows you their true colors, believe them.

Travel.

You end up dating the people you think you deserve. Usually, you deserve better.

Don’t forget to always wear your sunscreen.

@melodynotevintage

This might only help one person and thats ok. Advice I wish somebody told me in my twenties. #genx advice for #genz and late #millennials #adviceforyour20s #lifeadvice #fyp dont be an asshat in the comments if you are older, its not helpful.

She followed up the video with a sequel with even more sage advice.

Know who's on your side and who you can ask for help.

Don't smoke.

Don't spend longer than one year with the wrong person.

Find your own style.

Don't stress over the small stuff.

Good manners don't go out of style.

Do the work that it takes to be really good at something.

Your happiness is more important than other people's disappointment.

@melodynotevintage

This might only help one person and thats ok. Advice I wish somebody told me in my twenties part 2 #genx advice for #genz and late #millennials #adviceforyour20s #lifeadvice #fyp

This article originally appeared on 1.18.23

From Your Site Articles
advice
Health

People are sharing the simple, three-word advice they’d give their 13-year-old self

Here are 20 of the best responses.

via Pexels

What would you tell your 13-year-old self?

The age of 13 is a turning point in a lot of people’s lives. It’s right before you enter high school and begin to be exposed to a whole new world of temptation in the form of drugs, alcohol, dating, sex, smoking and gangs, to name a few.

When you’re a kid you can make a mistake that doesn’t follow you forever. But once the teen years hit, your decisions can have lifelong repercussions.

Imagine if you could go back in time and tell your 13-year-old self what pitfalls to avoid and which decisions to make? A Reddit user by the name kiwipangolin asked the online forum an intriguing question about how they’d handle such a meeting: “You meet your 13-year-old self, but you can only tell them three words. What do you say and why?”

Three words aren’t much, but they’re easy to remember.

A lot of the people who responded wished they could tell themselves to avoid a lifetime of addiction, mostly cigarettes and drugs. Some wished they would have let loved ones who passed away know how much they cared. While others would have let their past selves know their friends or family members were in danger.

There are a lot of people in the Reddit thread who have some serious regrets. While some of their stories are tragic, they also serve as powerful reminders for the rest of us to watch out for our health, look out for those who may be in trouble and to let our loved ones know how much they matter.

Here are 20 of the best responses to the question: “You meet your 13-year-old self, but you can only tell them 3 words. What do you say and why?”

1.

"Don’t fucking smoke." — whateverathrowaway00

2. 


"Love dad more." — RealLifeHaxor

3.

"Yes Kimmy California. My sister wanted to move to California near where I was living. My life was really complicated at the time and I really discouraged it. My marriage was a mess and I was afraid it would make it worse. She stayed where she was. About a year later she was killed by a drunk driver. My marriage ended. I would do literally anything to still have my sister here." — purplecrazypants

4.

"Stay off ATVs. Rolled a 4-wheeler when I was 16. Left leg has never been the same." — Cloudkicker91

A healthcare worker chimed in with more information.

"I work in a pediatric operating room in an area where ATVs are popular. Anytime the weather is nice and the kids are out of school, the number of add-on surgeries we have for atv injuries is mind-boggling. 4 year old, shattered femur, ATV rollover. 8-year-old, broken left arm, ATV roll over. 13 year old, ATV ejection, emergency crani. Shattered pelvis, degloving of the leg, brain bleeds, punctured lungs... On and on and on. So much agony. So many kids. It's easily the number one cause of emergent surgery we do.

In my book, putting a kid on an atv is about the same as giving an infant a loaded gun for a pacifier." — YamGroundbreaking953

5.

"Keep making music." — douglas_yancie

6.

"Stop copying others." — Kyndron

7.

"Evie needs help. Maybe then I’ll still have my big sister." — Space GeneralAmerica

8.

"Drugs ruined you." — GizmoTheLion

9.

"Brush your teeth." — mynameisusama

10.

"You are autistic. That’s my three words. That would’ve solved so many god damn problems, knowing who I am." — kelcamer

11.

"Go to therapy." — cornygiraffe

12.

"Stay in school." — Julie-Andrews

13.

"Don't trade Charizard." — facepwnage

14.

"No student loans." — TravelingGleeman87

15.

"Wear a condom." — NicksterPro

16.


"Treat her better." — VinFamous

17.

"Never start gambling." — elegantBullfrog2417

18.

"Exercise, socialize, study." — LesbianStan

19.

"Happiness isn’t linear. Everyone needs to know this at any stage of life but I wish I was told that back at 13, so I would know earlier that life is full of ups and downs, the downs will go back up, tho the ups don’t always last long." — Evangelion-02

20.

"You'll be ok." — Pretenderrender


This article originally appeared on 4.28.22

From Your Site Articles
advice
Trending Stories