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adulting

Filling out forms by yourself for the first time is an adulting milestone.

It's easy to poke fun of young people complaining about "adulting," but in truth, everyone runs the How To Do All The Grown-Up Things gauntlet at some point. Some adult things we pick up intuitively, some things we figure out through trial and error, and some things have to be explicitly taught.

But there are some things that fall into the gap between what kids need to know and what parents think to teach them, and many of those things are found on forms at the doctor's office. A viral post from a mom sharing texts from her 17-year-old son on his first solo trip to the doctor provides a perfect illustration of that fact and it has people everywhere rolling.

@wisco_cheryl

#boymom #17 #adulting #doctor #text #funny #momsoftiktok #momlife #haha #humor #wisconsin #fyp #myson #funnymoments #momtok #momsover30 #momhumor #vibes #parentsoftiktok #dadsoftiktok

"My 17 year old went to the doctor alone for the first time," the post from @wisco_cheryl reads. "Here are the frantic texts I got…he barely survived."

With "I'm Just a Kid" by Simple Plan playing in the background, we see a series of texts from the son:

"What do I even say when I get there"

"What's my social security number"

"What's DOB"

"Nevermind I got it"

"They gave me so many papers to write on"

"They're gonna touch my nustack"

"Nvm fault alarm" (He meant "false alarm.")

And for her part, Mom responded with a half dozen laughing emojis followed up by a hand and peanut emojis.

laugh emoji, cry laughing Joy Laughing GIF by Biteable Giphy

The son's texts are funny in part because they're totally to be expected. Seriously, at some point, you run across acronyms like DOB for the first time—how are you supposed to know what it means? Maybe you figure out by context, or maybe you have to ask, but it's not like that's something they teach you in school. And the social security number? At some point, every American has to commit their social security number to memory, but you just don't until you do.

And that's just the basic stuff. Forms can be legitimately confusing beyond that. Heck, I have my own adult children and I still find myself baffled by questions on forms at the doctor's office sometimes. What the heck does co-insurance even mean? Do I have it? No idea. I don't think I do, but maybe I'm wrong? Insurance details remain a mystery decades into adulthood.

So naturally, a teen who is just starting to walk the path of adulthood is going to have a million questions, and it's truly fortunate when young people have parents they're able to text and ask all their "silly questions" when needed.

young adults, transitioning to adulthood, mentorship Young people need adults to help them figure things out without judgment.Photo credit: Canva

With compassionate hilarity, people in the comments shared their own examples of not-quite-adult mishaps from their lives and their kids. It did not disappoint:

"At 21 I said my occupation was white and it still keeps me up at night. I'm 32."

"My son text me 'what's my maiden name' for the application for a job."

"While at urgent care, my son wrote 'mom' on the line asking for his primary care provider."

"My brother asked my mom when his last menstrual cycle was when he went to the doctors by himself for the first time."

"One time kid i hired back in the day filled out 'Next of Kin: Mom' and then 'Relationship: Good' on a onboarding packet. lol."

"My son when asked if he had the chicken pox shot 'I don't think so I'm not around chickens' 😂😂😂😂"

chickens, dancing chickens, chicken pox shot The chicken pox shot has nothing to do with actual chickens. Giphy GIF by Black Women Love Dogs

"I help my dad raise my siblings (5) . when my brother was 17 he went to see his primary. she told him that he had sinusitis. he came home crying thinking it was cancer 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"When I was buying my first car, they asked for my insurance and I handed them my health insurance card💀still haunts me to this day. My dad was so embarrassed lol"

"When I applied for a job at 16 for the skills area I wrote 'I can do the splits' I was applying for a job at the mall"

"My teens act like they know everything, until it’s time to fill paperwork. 🤣🤣🤣"

doctor's visit, doctor's office, going to the doctor Sometimes teens need a little help as they're transitioning into adulthood.Photo credit: Canva

But one doctor's office worker had the best response of all:

"As someone who works in a drs office I’m always so proud of the teens. You can tell they’re nervous but they do such a good job 😊."

That's what we love to see—an acknowledgment that these young folks are doing alright as they learn the million little things they need to learn to go out on their own in the world. Here's to the parents and other grown-ups who remember what it was like to not know things and help the kids out, even when their questions might seem silly to us.

Being an adult is tough.

Nothing can ever fully prepare you for being an adult. Once you leave childhood behind, the responsibilities, let-downs, and setbacks come at you rapid-fire. Like Ferris Bueller wisely said, "Life comes at you fast." It really does. It’s also tiring and expensive, and there's no easy-to-follow roadmap for happiness and success. A Reddit user asked the online forum, “What’s an adult problem nobody prepared you for?” and there were a lot of profound answers that get to the heart of the disappointing side of being an adult.

One theme that ran through many responses is the feeling of being set adrift. When you’re a kid, the world is laid out as a series of accomplishments. You learn to walk, you figure out how to use the bathroom, you start school, you finish school, maybe you go to college, and so on.

However, once we’re out of the school system and out from under our parents’ roofs, there is a vast, complicated world out there and it takes a long time to learn how it works. The tough thing is that if you don’t get a good head start, you can spend the rest of your life playing catch-up.

Then, you hit middle age and realize that life is short and time is only moving faster.

Adulthood also blindsides a lot of people because we realize that many adults are simply children who got older, but didn't actually grow up. The adult world is a lot more like high school than a teenager could ever imagine.

The Reddit thread may seem a bit depressing at first, but there are a lot of great lessons that younger people can take to heart. The posts will also make older people feel a lot better because they can totally relate.

Being an adult is hard, exhausting, and expensive. But we’re all in this together and by sharing the lessons we’ve learned we can help lighten each other's load just a bit.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “What is an adult problem nobody prepared you for?”

1. Lack of purpose

"Lack of purpose. All your young life you are given purpose of passing exams and learning, then all of a sudden you are thrown into the world and told to find your own meaning," — Captain_Snow.

2. No bed time

bedtime, sleep, rest, enough sleep, adulthood, yawning

Woman yawning behind the wheel.

Image via Canva

"You can stay up as late as you want. But you shouldn't," — geek-fit

Sleep is a big one. According to the Center for Disease Control, sleep has a number of health benefits specifically for adults. Lose too much sleep and, conversely, it can put your health at serious risk.

3. Friendships (or lack thereof...)

"Where did all my friends go?" — I_Love_Small_Breasts

Most of them are at the same place as you are ... Probably wondering the same thing," — Blackdraon003

4. Bodily changes

bodies, weight gain, aging, changes, adult body

Yeah, bodies change.

38.media.tumblr.com

"I'm closer to fifty than forty, would have been nice to be better prepared for some of the ways your body starts to change at this point that don't normally get talked about. For instance your teeth will start to shift from general aging of your gums," — dayburner.

5. Learning people don't change

"Didnt know that other adults have the emotional intelligence of teenagers and its almost impossible to deal with logically," — Super-Progress-6386

6. Money

"$5K is a lot to owe, but not a lot to have," — Upper-Job5130

7. Our parents are aging, too

aging, parents, adulthood, illness, decline

Elderly man sitting on the couch.

Image via Canva

"Handling the decline and death of your parents," - Agave666

8. Free time

"Not having a lot of free-time or time by myself," — detective_kiara

9. No goals

"Not having a pre-defined goal once I was out of college. Growing up my goals were set for me: get through elementary school! then middle school! Then high school, and get into college and get a degree, then get a job, and then...? Vague "advance in your career, buy a house, find a spouse, have a kid or multiple, then retire." At 22 I had no idea how to break that down more granularly," — FreehandBirdlime

10. Constant upkeep

upkeep, fatigue, chores, maintenance,, adulthood

It can be a rat race.

Giphy

"Life is all about maintenance. Your body, your house, your relationships, everything requires constant never ending maintenance," — IHateEditedBGMusic

11. Exhaustion

"Being able to do so many things because I'm an adult but too tired to do any of them," — London82

12. Loneliness

"Being an adult feels extremely lonely," — Bluebloop0

13. Dinner

meal prep, making dinner, cooking, prepare, adult, dinner time

Someone meal prepping.

Image via Canva

"Having to make dinner every. Fucking. Day," — EndlesslyUnfinished

14. Accelerated time

"The more life you’ve lived, the faster time seems to go," — FadedQuill

15. You're responsible for everything, even the stuff you don't mean

"You are held to account for bad behaviour for which you are negligent even if you had no intention to cause harm. As a lawyer, I see this all the time. People don't think they're responsible for mistakes. You are," — grishamlaw

16. Work is like high school

high school, cliques, teenagers, workplace, drama,

High school students.

Image via Canva

"The intricacies of workplace politics," — Steve_Lobsen writes. "

"When you're in school, you think that you won't have to deal with gossiping and bullying once you leave school. Unfortunately, that is not true," — lady_laughs_too_much

17. There's nowhere to turn

"How easy it is to feel stuck in a bad situation (job, relationship, etc) just because the cost and effort of getting out can seem daunting. And sometimes you just have to accept a figurative bowl full of shit because you can't afford to blow up your life," — movieguy95453

While adulthood feels this way, there are places to turn. Building community can help adults find friends, mentors, partners, colleagues, and even found family who can be there for them when they need it.

18. The happiness question

"Figuring out what makes you happy. Everyone keeps trying to get you to do things you're good at, or that makes you money, but never to pursue what you enjoy," — eternalwanderer5

19. Constantly cleaning

"The kitchen is always dirty. You’ll clean it at least three times every day," — cewnc

20. Being alive is like...really expensive

adulthood, adult, money, expenses, cost, saving, budget

Saying this to literally everything.

Giphy

"One adult problem nobody prepared me for is how expensive everything is. I always thought that as an adult I would be able to afford the things I wanted, but it turns out that's not always the case! I've had to learn how to budget and save up for the things I want, and it's been a difficult process," — Dull_Dog_8126

21. Keeping above water

"All of it together. I was relatively warned about how high rent is, car bills and repairs, how buying healthy food is expensive as hell but important for your health, how to exercise and save what you can, my parents did their best to fill in my knowledge about taxes and healthcare and insurance that my schooling missed, about driving and cleaning a household, about setting boundaries at work but working hard and getting ahead if you can, about charity and what it means to take care of a pet and others, about being a good partner if you were lucky enough to have one, about how dark and messed up the world is when you just read the news and what all that means to me and my community… I was reasonably warned about all of it.

"No one could have ever prepared me for how hard doing all of it at the same time and keeping your head above that water would actually be," — ThatNoNameWriter


This article originally appeared three years ago.

Internet

Woman's math on when someone should be considered an adult makes a lot of sense

"Pretending that 18 year olds are adults is the biggest disservice to all of us collectively."

Woman argues that you're not an adult until 36. It makes sense.

In America, 18 is the magic number that makes you an official adult. Seventeen year olds go to bed as a teenager still in need of adequate supervision and guidance only to wake up eight hours later a full blown adult ready to make all of their decisions unassisted. Of course this isn't developmentally true, most 18 year olds are still in high school and need just as much guidance as they did the day prior to this magical change. But this developmental reality isn't always respected by the law, some parents, or other adults.

The teens themselves consider themselves adults since that's the age everyone tells them means adulthood and most don't have the life experience to know any different. TikTok user Sam Kochman recently explained why she doesn't believe 18 year olds should be considered adults, and she makes some really valid points. The woman advocates for raising the age of what is considered "grown up" to 36, and while that might sound ridiculous, people agree with her reasoning.

"Pretending that eighteen year olds are adults is like the biggest disservice to all of us collectively, because 18 is zero," the woman argues.

gif of Andy Samberg saying "I'm an adult" in an SNL skit.Saturday Night Live Snl GIF by SeesoGiphy

The logic being that when you turn 18, you've had 18 years of childhood with zero years of adulthood so at 19 you're a one year old adult. According to Kochman, she wouldn't even start counting adult years until 22, likely due to the legal age to consume alcohol being 21. But for the sake of the national "congratulations you're an adult age," she starts with 18 as year zero of adulthood.

Whether you start adult years at 18 or 22, developmentally, a person's prefrontal cortex doesn't stop developing until they're between 25 to 26 years old. This means their decision making will likely be much more impulsive, less informed, and they'll take more risks, have difficulty planning, stronger emotional responses, and act without fully considering the consequences.

Kochman says, "At 36, then you're 18. Then...then you're what we all pretend you are at 18. Then you're an 18 year old adult. Do you know what I'm saying?"

gif of an older woman saying, "Welcome to being an adult. It sucks." Sucks Annie Potts GIF by CBSGiphy

People overwhelmingly agree with that logic, with one person writing, "This is such a good take. I’m 36 and I finally feel like a fully formed adult. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. My head is exploding rn."

One person says, "Being 25 you realize how young college kids are."

"6 months after I turned 18 I lost a (very toxic) friend who got mad at me for making a mistake because 'I'm a fully grown adult and I should know better' bro I was in high school 2 weeks ago what," someone shares.

Another person explains, "Literally!!! All we’ve known is school and then they just act like you’re ready for life and to be on your own cause you’re 18?!?!"

@samkochman

36 is 18. 36 is start of adult.

"This makes perfect sense. I had my daughter when I was biologically 19 and thought I was grown. Now she’s biologically 19 but she’s actually a baby - I couldn’t imagine her having a baby," one mom exclaims.

Someone else suggests, "18-25 should be called periadulthood like the phase pre-adulthood."

Of course, there were a few people who disagree with the take. But, of the ones who disagreed, there seemed to be a misunderstanding that doing adult things constituted adulthood. The commenters that agree, which is an overwhelming majority, are focused on brain development and the general feeling of being an adult without having to defer to others. The general consensus seems to be that treating an 18 year old like someone in their 30s isn't helpful and more grace should be extended to those just entering adulthood. What do you think? Should 18 year old teenagers be expected to be just as adult as someone much older?

via @Sidneyraz / TikTok

TikTok has become a great place for finding life hacks and one of the best follows is @Sidneyraz. His hook is that he shows people the "things I wish I knew before I was in my 30s." Most of his life hacks are simple, domestic tricks for cleaning the house or preparing food. But he also shares some financial advice and makes the personal admission that "not being hungover is better than being drunk."

That's a lesson that a lot of us wish we learned sooner. Like a lot of folks, Sidney is learning a lot of domestic skills in his third decade and that makes sense. That's the time when people begin to settle down with a significant other and pick up more domestic skills.

The good news is that he's not going through this life change alone. He wants to share all of it with you.

Here are 11 of his best life hacks.

Baking bacon is better than frying:

@sidneyraz

baking bacon is better than frying bacon #inmy30s #bacon


How to eat a flat chicken wing:

@sidneyraz

learned this on hot ones #inmy30s #chickenwings


A tooth-brushing trick:

@sidneyraz

30+ years of being wrong #inmy30s #oralhealth


How to stop a pot from boiling over:

@sidneyraz

it has helped many times #inmy30s #cookingtips


You can vacuum more than just your floor:

@sidneyraz

vacuuming more than just floors #inmy30s #vaccum


Did you know your dishwasher has a filter?

@sidneyraz

cleaning the dishes robot is a thing #inmy30s #dishwasher


The weatherman isn't saying what you think he's saying:

@sidneyraz

but what is the forecasted area?? #weatherreport #inmy30s


How to fill a cooler:

@sidneyraz

have a great summer y’all #inmy30s #summervibes2021


The secret behind Chinese food containers:

@sidneyraz

first time trying this #chinesefood #takeout #tipsandtricks


Hire movers:

@sidneyraz

your body will thank you #inmy30s #movingday


Not being hungover is better than being drunk:

@sidneyraz

goodbye youth. #inmy30s


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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